Relationship Bla...

LegacyUser

How is it going guys? I'll be as quick and to the point as I can.

I was scoring a girl in November/December whom i knew for a couple of months and in January she told me that she didn't want to lead me on to a relationship one night we were out.

Back then in January, I was told by her best mate in extreme confidentiality that she has a tendancy to go out with guys who she can control and her mate told me that I am too confident basically to control.

I met up with her the following day in January to talk it through with her and this is what she told me:

Basically every relationship she has been in, she has landed in it head on without thinking....she would kiss a guy 5 or 6 times and she....tends to end up in a relationship without actually thinking it through. She prefers to be in control which she admitted was her own problem. She also admitted that she has a huge fear of being hurt so she tends to have a bit more power over the guy. The reason she is like this is because her best friend was in a relationship and the guy cheated on her repeatedly and her best friend could not see through him and was still in love with him. So now she has a huge fear of being that powerless towards a guy. So i basically said my part and told her that i liked her and was preparing myself for a relationship with her.

Well this was the situation back then right, and the outcome of it was, we were no longer scoring and we can score other people. So anyway, she scored one of my friends a while after once when we were all out in a club which pissed me off at the time, but hey, that's my problem cos we were no longer scoring. Right?

Anyway, a few days after that happened, she wanted to meet up with me. She texted me telling me that it was "a really really stupid mistake on her part and she let herself down as a result and was really sorry etc..."

I wrote back telling her "Don't worry about it. We were not even scoring, let alone going out with each other so there is no point in meeting up, i have nothing to say to you..."

Basically I was like whatever...her scoring another guy just helped me get over her quicker.

5 months pass...and in that time I have literally not said much to her at all...see her out and about but that's it...any time she had tried talking to me, i'd basically end it short and ignore her...

In the meantime, as in during this 5 month period, her best friend has been telling me things that the girl really likes me and wants to score me again...and i again, never followed this and just ignored it...i played around with the thought but pride got the better of me...and i just took it as a compliment...

So then the last weekend in May, I see her out...

She arrived and came up to me and wanted to buy me a drink...well she splurted everything out...she told me that since January i have been in her head, she really likes me and wants to go out with me...she also wanted to talk to me and literally was all over me all night. At first i thought the reason she came over was because i was initially chatting up another girl and this sparked jealousy off in her...u can't blame me for thinking that but anyway, i decided to talk to her and ended up scoring her that night.

Anyway, the following day, she calls me to meet up with her and she tells me the exact same stuff again...except soberly and to my face.

So anyway, i said yeah grand, just relax and take it easy...let's just take baby steps...we came to the conclusion that we needed to send more sober time togeather and basically for the past two weeks, i have been meeting up with her, getting on really well with her, enjoying being in her company greatly and am practically going out with her @ this stage...we txt every day and see each other regularly each week and all is well...and we are both really happy spending time with each other...

So there you have it, i am practically in a relationship with this girl...do you think i am doing the right thing? Let me know your thoughts...i have been meaning to write this post for a while...but i only did it now...i was meant to write it here before i "practically" got myself in a relationship with her but oh well!

So what are your thoughts guys?

dudara

Sounds like you might just be starting a relationship alright

Lay off the use of the word "scoring" though. It really makes things sound so horrible.

fuzzywiggle

I don't really see the problem here? You nearly got together, then didn't and now you're together...? She was afriad of getting hurt the first time, which is quite common, but she obviously really likes you if she's willng to take the chance. Just enjoy it!

Black Swan

Takes a long time to get to know someone. Take it easy. Don't rush. Make sure it's mutual. And if it works out, great. Also agree with an earlier poster, the word scoring is a bit callus.

Darragh29

That sounds cool man, I love your style, make her do a bit of runnin and take no ****e, well done, nice one!

Femelade

she realised she wanted to be with you when you let her finish it so easily , without putting up much of a fight.
That made her think..i guess its the treat 'em mean tactic in a way....
Anyway, whatever way you went about it, it worked, and you are now in a relationship!
Dont get in too deep though, she seems to be they type that when she gets all the attention she needs, she will not have as much interest as she had, when you were playing hard to get.

Darragh29

Femmy wrote:

she realised she wanted to be with you when you let her finish it so easily , without putting up much of a fight.
That made her think..i guess its the treat 'em mean tactic in a way....
Anyway, whatever way you went about it, it worked, and you are now in a relationship!
Dont get in too deep though, she seems to be they type that when she gets all the attention she needs, she will not have as much interest as she had, when you were playing hard to get.

That's it man, feel that fishing line good a tight, had you gone running after her she probably would have never come to where she is now!

Magic Pips

gotta say i would've blanked her for "scorin" a mate of mine, i dont' think a girl is the same again after this...

but that could just be my hang ups...

but as D29 says... well played

chump

I honestly think that if you're with her for any length of time the scoring your mate thing will just become water under the bridge... It's no biggy really.

As long as he didn't slip it in

LegacyUser

Magic Pips wrote:

gotta say i would've blanked her for "scorin" a mate of mine, i dont' think a girl is the same again after this...

but that could just be my hang ups...

yeah, you have "personal issues" if you're an adult and can't let something small like that slide.

for the op, was in some kind of similar situation recently and although the reasoning behind it all can be confusing sometimes, you really just have to play the hands your dealt, if you know what i mean. good luck!

LegacyUser

Hey guys,

I'm back. I'll just give you a bit of info about her....

First of all, she is a virgin.

Secondly, she does have a couple of issues in her life; her father is an alcoholic and this bothers her greatly. I found this out one night by accident...as in, she wasn't ready to tell me it at the time but it came out as we were drunk and having a ridiculously petty arguement in town one night way before we started talking to each other.

When she met up with me soberly and told me all she did, she said she has never done this to another guy before, as in open up and practically beg for me to go out with her/kiss her.

She also said she was terrified of being hurt and by kissing my friend, that was her way of running away and ending her feelings for me. She didn't end her feelings for me though by doing it.

I mean for 5 months, I pretty much ignored her even though she was trying to track me down shortly after and talk to me on nights out. I was forcing myself to think "Hold on a second, I can't be annoyed by this because we were not scoring..."

She also told me when I explained this to her that she would have been pissed off if I wasn't annoyed by her kissing my friend...

I mean, I don't want to play games. To be official, I don't "do" relationships and never have been in any serious one and I don't have any great desire to get in one unless it is for the right reasons.

But I still can't change the fact of the matter and that is I am practically going out with her now and I have been getting on really well...i suppose what I am trying to say is...Should I be in this relationship according to you guys?

Thanks a lot for reading and hopefully my mind will be more clear...

PS: Femmy, does this change your point of view at all?

Femelade

all i'll say is...be careful, and take your time.

It seems she was hoping to make you jealous by kissing your friend,saying she'd be pissed off if you werent annoyed about it? that's kind of a childish thing to do, but it backfired on her, as you continued to show little interest in her.

I'd be careful of this one OP. I cant say she's interesed or not. or wether you should be in this relationship or not.

If you geninuely like her than just give it a go, but slowly, just incase she changes her mind.

Enjoy it at the same time though. Relationships can be great if with the right person.

CrazySka

Sounds like its all worked out nicely, maybe though theres the slim possibility of it being her wanting something she couldnt have.
Prob not though as you were with her before that. if you like her go for it.

LegacyUser

Hey guys, it's been a couple of months now and to be honest, we seem to be going from strength to strength, i've been taking it slow. I've been fairly mysterious and aloof and letting her pursue me and to be honest she has been chasing...but I don't mean to be playing games and I haven't. I was just making sure her interest in me is as high as it appears to be and it seems to be the case. I'm taking it slow and getting to know her and we get on really well so it seems to be going well.

John_Dub, I was thinking that @ the beginning but her best mate was telling me she has been thinking about me ALL the time pretty much and also the girl herself told me that too.

So that's that then...i'll keep you guys posted and see what happens!

blorg

There really is only one thing to say...

SCORE!

tap28

christ, I hate that phrase

Sony

Happy dayzzzz:D