Child support amount

LegacyUser

Does anyone know how much a father has to pay in child support generally if himself and the childs mother split up?

is it a set amount or determined by your wages?

is it sortd out by the court or a soliciter or just both parties?

Thanks

Victor

It can be rather complicated. You could just agree something between you, but this may be unenforceable either way. You could draft up an agreement between you and get your respective solicitors to sign off on it (always one solicitor each, don't share a solicitor). Or it could end up in family court, where a judge would set an amount, which would presumably take into account your means and the child's needs.

I'm not sure if you would also be responsible for paying an amount to the mother, for herself.

I'm sure lots of people will have had experiences and will post.

LegacyUser

the mother wants us to go to e soliciter to do the following.

Payment amount
Child Support
Visiting Rights
Birth Cert

more to this then meets the eye, one night stand, I am in a relationship already - We both agreed it was in everyones interest it didnt come out,

initial agreement was i pay monthly, 250 approx, (bear in mind I have to hide this from current partner) - and have no contact - now the mother wants more, wants me to start paying prior to the birth ect - and wants my name on birth cert ect,

heads a bit all over the place as u can imagine.

LegacyUser

@ all she can do.

Bluetonic

You'd probably get better responses on the Parenting Forum.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=251

county

i think its 15% of your income

thats in the UK though

Talliesin

If it goes to court it'll depend on such factors as your income, your partner's income, unavoidable expenses for you (e.g. you have to eat, and if you have a loan that needs to be paid off, but you don't have to spend a fortnight in a 4-star hotel in Dubai every year), unavoidable expenses for her, number of children, any special needs of the children.

A private agreement can be ratified by a court, but if the recipient is receiving social welfare and/or community welfare payments such as rent allowance they may insist that they seek more (which will then be taken off them again through them receiving a lower community welfare payment).

Gurgle

CS wrote:

I am in a relationship already - We both agreed it was in everyones interest it didnt come out,

initial agreement was i pay monthly, 250 approx, (bear in mind I have to hide this from current partner)

Worst nightmare tbh.

I'd suggest you talk to your partner. You're not going to get away with hundreds of euro leaving your account for the next 18 years.

And by the sound of things, this one-night-standee has decided to use you as a cash cow, do not part with a single cent until you have a legally binding agreement. Agree to nothing until you get a paternity test.

mountainyman

CS wrote:

... (bear in mind I have to hide this from current partner)...

If you've no kids with her dump her. 250 is eff all you're getting off lightly.

county

mountainyman wrote:

If you've no kids with her dump her. 250 is eff all you're getting off lightly.

?

koneko

Why are you hiding this from your partner? If you are in any way serious about your relationship with her, you should really really tell her, if she finds out later (and she most likely will), can you imagine how she'll feel knowing you're hiding the fact you had a CHILD from her?

Tazz T

At some point, if not already, the mother will no doubt consider blackmailing you by teling your partner if she doesn't get what she wants. Even if she doesn't it's going to be at the back of your mind for the next twenty years.

I think you're going to have to come clean, even if just for peace of mind.

Do you not learn anything from desperate housewives?
(comment is a little weird but relevant to said situation)

Nevyn

coolsmileygirl you can not preusme everyone watches such programing.
Your reply then comes across as offtopic and unhelpful.
And such posting can get you banned from this forum.

There is a child and there is a responsiblity,
If you do not want to be in that childs life then that is your call but you have to still at least contribute to providing for that child.

You could come to an arragnement where by you have no contact with the mother and you make your payments directly to to the dept of socail and family affairs.
You could come to an arrangement where by you have no contact and the money is place in an account set up just for that purpose.
And any renogications are done via the courts and solictors if you want the minium ammount of contact with the mother and the child.
As the child is your's and you are not constesting that ( you're not, or has there been a paternity test ) I don't see why you are refusing to have your name on the birthcert.

Honestly as big of a shock as it is to find yourself to be a father under these circumstances I don't think it is reason enough to cut your child out of your life
and to deny the child the oppertunity to get to know it's father.

miju

i STRONGLY recommend you get a paternity test before handing over a penny, if she had a one night stand with you she may well have had other one night stands with one or two others (sure who knows she may even have some other poor sod paying her as well)

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies,

currently paying out 1750 a month prior to living/eating/clothes ect, this is on bills, insurance, rent ect, no luxury is included

Met her last nite, shes going to a brief regardless - I am going to try and see one tomorrow,( a different one)

Thing is this girl was trying it on with me for ages, i always said no, party in my house, i went to bed, woke up nxt morning she was beside me.end of story, start of nightmare as I cant remember one thing.

I hear DNA costs 1k to complete, is that paid by both parties?

What I want is no name on birth cert, and a written confirmation help by both briefs that if anything happens her the child gets the right to find out who the father is at 18. I pay her monthly into an account

Sureley I dont have to pay anything prior to the child being born?

sorry about the ramblings

CS

chump

Bad luck man. Sounds harsh.

My approach would be
1. as she's proceeding with the birth, come clean to your partner at the very least about this - as it WILL get out sooner rather than later
2. get your name on the birth cert, if you're paying and will be forever, you will be linked in some way to the child, you can't just shake this off.
3. she sounds like a physcho so get a DNA test to be sure
4. get an agreement as to costs etc. in court so she can't blackmail you etc...

Mickah

That girl sounds like a psycho, I'd get a DNA test straight off, even if it does cost 1k. If you were that drunk not to remember anything, chances are you were too drunk to have sex with her.

You'll be paying many times that amount over the next 18+ years.

The other thing is if you do go to solictors and all that you're pretty much admitting there was a chance it could be yours, as in you did have sex with her. If the DNA comes up negative, it's quite possible you didn't touch her.

jobonar

a friend of mine was in a similar situationbout 18 months ago... he was drunk at an xmas do, had sex with a girl he knew anad 6 weeks later got a call sayin she was pregnant and it was his.... so she wanted this that and the other out of but he told her he wanted a DNA test and she refused and got into a strop over it

eventually she had the test and turned out it wasnt his!(he was drunk for bout a week after that celebrating). turns out he wasnt the only bloke she had slept with over that period!

a few weeks after it all came out he was told that she had slept with 2 other guys(both 1 nighters) either side of sleeping with him but had decided to tell him that he was the father cos she didnt know the other 2 guys and she wanted financial support for the kid of someone but didnt care how!

she was a psycho and could have ruined his life.... DNA test would be number 1 priority before a single cent goes near her!!!!!!

Kimbot

Right, I have been throught the same myself!!

The average payment in this country is €50 a week!
YOu do not need to place your name on the birth cert if you do not wish to as you have to sign that!!
I would get a paternity test tho so even if she goes to a solicitor they cannot give advise because it can be disputed that you only slept with the girl once and bang she is pregnant!!

My advice is .... Tell your current Partner what is going on.
Go seek legal advice.
Do not pay a penny until you are sure that this child is yours.

Then if it is proved to be yours do the following.

Think wether or not you want guardianship.
Then access rights.
Then put all your earning on paper and scratch off your outgoings and assess how much you can give for the child. I wouldn't advise giving the money direct to thie mother but if settled in court you can DD it to the courts accounts where there is a record help.

If you need more advice about this you can PM me, I have been through it all already and my mother went through it aswell so I know most of the in's and outs to it all.

LegacyUser

Cheers,

seeing a brief tomorow for some legal advise anyones, and to go through both senarios, ie mine and not mine,

the fact i was too drunk to remember unfortunatley doesnt mean i cant perform (the mrs will vouch for this)

I do have a feeling in my gut its mine though, as she had tried it on with me before a few times, and maybe in her own head this would be a "proper little family"

also only reason about not having name on birthcert is both our familes are close and it would tear em both apart if they knew i was the father, it would go legal, petty fights/arguments ect

thanks for the advice so far, i will deffo post abck briefs comments if i get to see him tomorrow

koneko

If you were so drunk you don't remember having sex, maybe you didn't? Definitely definitely definitely (cannot stress this enough) get a paternity test.

You shouldn't have to pay anything now because you don't know if the child is even yours.

Danes

If the baby is yours, surely you'll want to make sure he/she has everything he/she needs regardless of cost or who the mother is? €50 a week is pittance and wont buy a pair of shoes for a growing child so why let the law decide how much you need to pay? Do the right thing by your child. As for your current partner - you have to tell her. What if the child wants contact with you? Will you deprive your son or daughter a relationship with their dad just to keep your little secret safe?

If this is your child, be a man and do everything you can to support her/him any way you can and dont be selfish enough to worry about what people will think. The baby hasnt done anything wrong and doesnt deserve to be punished because her/his parents woke up in the wrong bed :mad:

LegacyUser

I am not denying i will pay child support for the child - I do think of letting the briefs/law decide on an amount is the right option though, at least she cant come at a later stage and say i amnt paying her ect.

And i am going to tell my current partner this weekend


currently paying 1750 in bills, earning 2400 - leaving 650 - so there is some scope there when i take out food ect

Marksie

Cellmark diagnostics do the DNA testing

dont know the price it has definitely gone up since i was working there.

Two ways in the UK court directed and private.
Private you get the results. No-one else

Actually a poster here said something important, and you woke up next to her not knowing.

A friend of mine asked the same question cos he was in a similar situation and gave him the information.

(she WAS seeing two guys: but wanted money from him: Definitely knew he was the father etc.)
Went ahead and lo and behold, she backed down and admitted it was someone elses.
That test could mean you save a lot of money and heartache in the longrun.