backstabbing friends?

LegacyUser

hey,

bit of a dilemma here and im wondering if i dealed with in the right way. bascially ive been going out with a girl for a year and a half, then we broke up in november and got back together in febuary there, its a completely mutual decision. anyway one of the guys in our group began bad mounthing me behind my back to my girlfriend, saying i bullied her and treated her like ****e.

the guy however has never been in a relationship longer than a year. similarly, he told one of our friends that he loved her and has done for the past two and half years and then dumped her two weeks later only to get off with his best friend

anyway he kept up the bad mouthing behind my back until my girlfriend began teling me about what he was saying a couple of weeks back. over the course of a week she told me everything, how he has been doing this for the past two years, since we began going out originally. i confronted him and asked him what his problem was. he denied it at first and after about 5 minutes of shouting at him and calling him a coward he said 'maybe i did say it!'. i say to myself at this point that the man is a liar too(as well as a coward) and told him to keep his friendship.

since that ive made it clear to everybody that he is no friend of mine, a backstabbing liar, who would want him eh!? also since this event, ive heard form mutual sources that he was coming onto my girlfriend one night. also, i got myself a summer job through a friend and he has been complaining about me getting the job too, saying i dont deserve it.

anyway the question i want to ask is did i deal with it in the right way? i dont consider him a friend any more and have made it clear. how would you deal with the situation? i think he's jealous but who knows. what would you have done?

Bamboozled

You done the right thing.
I'd probably have done the same thing - ie called him on it.

PapaDon'tPreach

Yup, I agree. You couldn't have handled it differently. I'd stay away from him.

Grem

Who wants to be friends with a loser who bit(hes about you behind your back and then tries to score your girlfriend?

You did the right thing. Your a better person than him. And i would have done the exact same as you. You dont need people like that in your life.:)

Strokesfan

When you deal with sneaky manipulative disloyal gossiping backstabbing "friends" like him - there is no right way. You couldn't be calmer because he wouldn't admit it, that kind of cowardly deceit means he is impossible to deal with on a higher level. He is obviously deeply insecure in himself that he has to keep running other people down. Whatever you did he would put his own spin on it and feel sorry for himself. You can be civil but never trust him if you have to put up with him in your extended group of friends. Concentrate on your own life and more positive people. I hate spineless devious people like that. I had a girl similar in my life who told everyone my business and used me, slowly everyone dropped her as a friend but she convinces herself it's not her fault. They never see those people.

fuzzywiggle

You dealt with it well. What else could you have done? You don't need someone like that in your life. God love him he probably is just jealous. You don't deserve a job? wtf is that about? He really needs to get a life. I would feel sorry for the chap if I was you. Now just move on and forget about him!

chillywilly

you done the right thing, he sounds jealous and spiteful to me

Dragan

whattodo?? wrote:

anyway the question i want to ask is did i deal with it in the right way? i dont consider him a friend any more and have made it clear. how would you deal with the situation? i think he's jealous but who knows. what would you have done?

Me??? I'd have done something stupid like hit him, well done on keeping a cool head though, you deffo dealt with it the right way. :cool:

kittenkiller

IN this case sucess is definately the best revenge!
He seems like a pathetic begrudger with no life of his own!
Move on, let others be friends with them until they find out what he's like & then bask in the glory of "How right you were about that 2faced backstard!" praise as everyone finds out what a loser he is!

And if you feel like it & your gf agrees, you could always grope her blatently whenever he's around!

Wing Walker

It's hard when you find out that a "friend" turns out to be a complete, backstabbing ****er. I had this with a guy I thought was a really good friend for 4 years but he turned out to be a two-faced bollox. You did right. You just have to drop them as friends. It may be hard but it has to be done.

And if he even touched my gf, I make it very clear, physically or otherwise, how I felt about him doing it.:mad:

LegacyUser

Strokesfan wrote:

When you deal with sneaky manipulative disloyal gossiping backstabbing "friends" like him - there is no right way. You couldn't be calmer because he wouldn't admit it, that kind of cowardly deceit means he is impossible to deal with on a higher level. He is obviously deeply insecure in himself that he has to keep running other people down. Whatever you did he would put his own spin on it and feel sorry for himself. You can be civil but never trust him if you have to put up with him in your extended group of friends. Concentrate on your own life and more positive people. I hate spineless devious people like that. I had a girl similar in my life who told everyone my business and used me, slowly everyone dropped her as a friend but she convinces herself it's not her fault. They never see those people.

thanks for all the advice guys. you've really helped me clear up a few thoughts. thanks strokesfan too, i think you have hit the nail on the head there. they were my thoughts too but to here it from somebody else sort of puts me at ease. it sort of makes you realise that your not the only one thinking these things and to all of the replies in general thansk a lot again. i didnt think that so many people had ''friends'' as good as him. thanks

chump

No doubt you did the right thing, but I must say I'd be disappointed with my gf if she didn't tell him then and there at the time to shut his head.

If a mutual friend was badmouthing my girl to me I'd tell them to stfu and not do it again, straight out... Women should have the balls to do similar. And a lot do...