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Funny Replies to Everyday Conversation Thread

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  • 20-06-2006 2:09pm
    #1
    JohnnySideburns
    Closed Accounts Posts: 162 ✭✭


    Hi,

    I thought it would a good idea if we all pool our resources to draw a definitive list of funny replies to everyday conversation. Please see below examples:

    If someone says "You wouldn't hit a woman would you?", you can reply "Only if she asked me too!!"

    If Johnny says "Jaysis lads, it's very warm in here today", you can reply "Johnny rehearsing for his next gay porn movie".

    If someone says "How do you feel", you can reply "I get my hands and I go like that (moving your hands in a feeling a woman up sequence).

    If someone mentions someone who is dyslexic, you can sing "Old McDonald was dyslexic, I-E-I-O-E".

    etc etc

    PLEASE ONLY REPLY IF YOU HAVE A GOOD LINE TO POST. I DON'T WANT JOKES OR COMMENTS!!!!


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    #2
    Zapp Brannigan
    Registered Users Posts: 8,326 ✭✭✭Zapp Brannigan


    If someone says "Gee, this thread sucks", you can reply "It does, it really really does!"


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    #3
    Pompey Magnus
    Registered Users Posts: 5,406 ✭✭✭Pompey Magnus


    If someone says: "Man, this weather is trippy", you should reply "No, man, it's not the weather that is trippy. Perhaps it is the way we perceive it that is indeed trippy."


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    #4
    Oriel
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,154 ✭✭✭Oriel


    That's quite sad to be frank.
    "Hey guys, I don't have a personality, can I borrow yours!?"


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    #5
    Zapp Brannigan
    Registered Users Posts: 8,326 ✭✭✭Zapp Brannigan


    Depeche_Mode wrote:
    If someone says: "Man, this weather is trippy", you should reply "No, man, it's not the weather that is trippy. Perhaps it is the way we perceive it that is indeed trippy."
    I like it :p


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    #6
    EWheelChair
    Closed Accounts Posts: 331 ✭✭EWheelChair


    This is the sort of lame thread only a northerner would start.


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    #7
    dinjo
    Registered Users Posts: 270 ✭✭dinjo


    Slurms wrote:
    If someone says "Gee, this thread sucks", you can reply "It does, it really really does!"

    ha ha ha ha ha ha brilliant !


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    #8
    Steoob
    Registered Users Posts: 2,552 ✭✭✭Steoob


    EWheelChair wrote:
    This is the sort of lame thread only a northerner would start.
    uh...oh...


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    #9
    Crash
    Registered Users Posts: 11,196 ✭✭✭✭Crash


    EWheelChair wrote:
    This is the sort of lame thread only a northerner would start.
    Thats the best oen so far! :)


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    #10
    fuzzywiggle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,089 ✭✭✭fuzzywiggle


    Slurms wrote:
    If someone says "Gee, this thread sucks", you can reply "It does, it really really does!"

    Only thing that made me laugh in this thread.

    Oh and since when does ''You wouldn't hit a woman would you?'' come up in everyday conversations?:rolleyes: :rolleyes:


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    #11
    Mr.D.Leprachaun
    Closed Accounts Posts: 620 ✭✭✭Mr.D.Leprachaun


    Maybe it does up North.


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    #12
    The Yipper
    Closed Accounts Posts: 115 ✭✭The Yipper


    Guy to girl in night club: "Would you like to dance?"

    Girl:"Not if you were the last guy on earth"

    Guy to girl: "Oh! I'm sorry, you must have mis-heard me, what I actually said was, you look really fat in that top"

    ......walks away, pride slightly dented, but with a smug look of contentment on his face.


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    #13
    grimsbymatt
    Closed Accounts Posts: 305 ✭✭grimsbymatt


    The Yipper wrote:
    Guy to girl in night club: "Would you like to dance?"

    Girl:"Not if you were the last guy on earth"

    Guy to girl: "Oh! I'm sorry, you must have mis-heard me, what I actually said was, you look really fat in that top"

    ......walks away, pride slightly dented, but with a smug look of contentment on his face.
    The response is supposed to be 'you look fat in those pants', so it rhymes with 'dance'.


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    #14
    Táck
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,744 ✭✭✭Táck


    grimsbymatt wrote:
    The response is supposed to be 'you look fat in those pants', so it rhymes with 'dance'.




    ha ha ha now THAT was funny


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    #15
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 91,903 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    nah - it's much better when you aren't pretending :D
    JohnnySideburns wrote:
    I DON'T WANT JOKES OR COMMENTS!!!!
    and yet you posted in the Humour forum ... interesting

    you really, really should try http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=483

    <oh crap I made a comment /me trembles>


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    #16
    Reganio 2
    Registered Users Posts: 3,732 ✭✭✭Reganio 2


    You go up to a girl and say "You really want to get with me don't you" more often than not she repiles "No" and so you say "So how long have you been a lesbian".:D

    Thank you, Thank you


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    #17
    Táck
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,744 ✭✭✭Táck


    sh1te


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    #18
    Reganio 2
    Registered Users Posts: 3,732 ✭✭✭Reganio 2


    ^^ You must be a lesbian......Now do you get the idea.


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    #19
    Surrender
    Registered Users Posts: 211 ✭✭Surrender


    EWheelChair wrote:
    This is the sort of lame thread only a northerner would start.

    Amadán den scoith


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    #20
    Hogmeister B
    Closed Accounts Posts: 120 ✭✭Hogmeister B


    Worst. Thread. Ever.

    Take it to the idiot forum.


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