need to vent

LegacyUser

I've been helping organise a party with my best friend. By help I mean inviting my own friends; helping people invited to organise transport and offering a lift in my car. I've offered a couple of friends a lift. The benefit of this is that I was actively enouraging people to go and also, I thought it would be easier to arrive with some people I know as I will know scant people at the party and I won’t have a chance to talk to my friends organising the party as they'll be acting as hosts.

I know this from experience as at other parties organised by my best mate, I barely got to see her all night. I was really disappointed when one by one my friends have given excuses not to go. My friend who's organising the party doesn't understand why I need to arrive with at least one person I know. I have no problem with meeting new people, but I'd feel better arriving with a friend. I now have no one coming with me. I was supposed to invite people to come that I know and none of them can now go. I'm feeling like a failure and dread having to arrive like a loner. Am I being unreasonable?

Black Swan

You are one of the organisers? Arrive early before the others and continue to organise. There's always things that need doing before everyone arrives. No one will notice that you arrived alone, because you got there before them.

whatastupidname

I think you need to chill out and not be so worried about little things...no one will care if you arrive alone and the important thing to do would be to have a good time and focus on meeting new people.

LegacyUser

i know exactly what you mean. i have good friends who put on events, and i do myself sometimes too. you want to go to support them, but none of your other friends are interested in going, but you don't want to arrive alone and be trying to hang out with your organiser friends because they'll be too busy.

i've tried in the past with offering to help with the organising and hosting so that i will have something to do while my friends are busy, but a lot of the time the things they need to do are things that they just need to do by themselves (like getting the sound working, etc). so it can be difficult, and especially since i've been on the other side of it, organising my own big event, and then getting stressed because certain friends were planning to arrive alone and knowing that they don't know anyone and being annoyed because i might have them following me around all night when i know i'll be busy or have to network.

so you're not being unreasonable by being upset abotu this. but just try and offer to help your friends any way you can, and once you've been at the party for an hour or so and had a drink it shouldn't be too difficult to get talking to new people and get to know their other friends. if they don't need your help with things like organising stuff, then make yourself useful by being a cool party guest and have loads of fun. thats why they're putting on the party anyway - so their friends can have fun!