lack of self confidence

LegacyUser

going unreg for this. im starting college in september and hoping that between now and then i will gain a lot more confidence in myself and be able to fit in and make new friends as i won't know anybody there.

i don't know really why i am not confident. i have fabulous close friends and have a great personality. i am also told that i am very pretty. however sometimes i find it difficult to connect/make friends with people who would have more confidence than myself, i feel like i don't seem good enough for them so why should i bother, or that they don't like me.

i am also very nervous if i have to speak to several people at the one time.

however i'm hoping that i will gain more confidence over the summer months. i am currently applying for work and about to consider volunteering at the hospital radio, the latter seeming very scary to me but i would like to give it a go.

just wondering if anyone feels the same or has any advice..

tonyinuae

sparklyfairies wrote:

i'm hoping that i will gain more confidence over the summer months. i am currently applying for work and about to consider volunteering at the hospital radio, the latter seeming very scary to me but i would like to give it a go.

I think doing something challenging like that is an excellent confidence-building strategy. Maybe set little tests for yourself, starting with easy ones like talking to a stranger at a bus stop, that sort of thing, but make each one a bit more challenging. You'll feel great that you did it, and be amazed at what you're actually able, and willing, to do.

Then there's always a Paul McKenna tape for subliminal help.:)

cooker3

Well I was in a similar situation to you, this sort of thing takes time. Your not going to suddenly on your first day of college suddenly feel comfortable where you didn't feel comfortable before but over time you will gradually improve and learn to adapt and deal better with these situations, like anything it takes practice, the more times you find yourself in the situation the better you will become in handling it.
I am just through 3rd year now and in some ways I feel the same but I know I am improved immeasurebly since when I started in first year and I will improve more over next year.

Good luck!

Miss Fluff

sparklyfairies wrote:

however i'm hoping that i will gain more confidence over the summer months. i am currently applying for work and about to consider volunteering at the hospital radio, the latter seeming very scary to me but i would like to give it a go.

That's a great start, well done you. People are all too inclined to stay stagnating in their comfort zone and not experience new challenges, i.e. staying put in a crap job/relationship/home because they fear the unknown. Doind something so new will be both terrifying and exhilarating for you but will pay dividends. Every time you step out fo that comfort zone it will build your confidence that little bit more. You sound great, you'll have no problem making new friends. Good luck

Marksie

Thats a great start.
The saying is you have nothing to fear but fear itself.

Small things like that will boost your self confidence. Go for it. It doesnt have to be major... a friend of mine learned to rewire a plug and it was like they had won the world cup

Small steps

LegacyUser

thanks guys, the radio want to see me tomorrow :-) half excited, half terrified!

humanji

Well best of luck tomorrow then.

Also remember, in college, a lot of people are going to be a little shy at first. You'll be meeting new people who know nothing about you, so just strike up a conversation with them and you'll soon realise that it gets easier and easier.

I was in the same position when I first went to college. I went the Carlow (I live in Dublin) and I knew nobody and was miles from home. Top it off with the fact that I was always painfully shy. But once I got there, I just started talking to people about anything and everything. There really is nothing too it.

Don't worry, you'll be fine.

smilydude

The best consolation for starting college is that everyone is in the same boat as yourself! I remember the first day of college for me was very scary, it was the first time away from my secondary school group. Was wondering how if ever I'd make friends. Its a tough time and obviously the first week or so you'll feel like you won't get there.

But take comfort in the fact that everyone is open and willing to make friends. I took the initative (not being all that confident for the best part of my life) and just sat beside one of the lads in my lecture class. We got talking and are now great friends.

Don't worry about it, it'll come naturally, just be yourself. Best advice is to get out there to all the events and social clubs and socities and that!

Best of luck with it and good luck with your hospital radio. You seem to be on the right track and I think you are confident!

LegacyUser

I was in a similar situation to the original poster when I started college. I had two friends I knew from school, who were luckily enough doing the same course as I was, and we tended to stick together. We were all quite shy and so we didn't mix well with others. We made a couple of friends but that was it. We had each other so we were fine.
Then at the beginning of second year, one of my friends decided she wasn't going back to college. That left just the two of us and the two friends we'd made last year. Because my friend had left, I knew that would mean I was going to be in lots of classes by myself. I began to mix much more with people I knew as acquaintances and it's amazing how people welcome others so easily. Me and the other friend began to go on class nights out and people were so friendly when they're drunk. And it's much easier for you to talk to them if you've had a couple of drinks too. I've also found that the same people who will talk to you on nights out will also come up to you the next day to ask if you've enjoyed it..or they will at least talk back to you if you talk to them.
I've just finished second year and I really really enjoyed it. It's been far more fun than the previous year; due to the amount of friends I'd made. I've rarely been rejected by anyone when I approached them for a chat, or just said hello. I have very little self-confidence too but due to the past year it has improved somewhat. If people don't talk to you, don't worry about them. They're not worth your time or effort and you'll find someone else willing to be friendly.

LegacyUser

thanks all, turns out im starting next monday from 8am re radio.... scary!

LegacyUser

jebus sparklyfairy i feel the exact same way as you..its like u read my mind!!!! i have good friends but am lackin in self confidence totally!! i cant wait till college and just gain that extra bit!! what college u applyn 4??

LegacyUser

cit or ucc maybe

Webmonkey

I'm kind of the same as ye too. Anyways i'm sure it will pass over time
I've one year of college put down, at cit actually. What course you going to do? The new college will be opened then and it looks fairly cool from what i saw. Looks like lego land!
But anyways yes the radio sounds like a good challenge, if you can handle that you should have no problem with confidence afterwards!