BBC Website commentary

Dustaz

Again, not sure if its been covered here, but i feel this guy is so special he needs his own thread.

The guy writing the text commentary for the beeb tonight was the single best thing about the world cup so far. Anyone who reads these things normally know they tend to be a little tongue in cheek but tonight it was a comedy goldmine.

Highlights tonight included:
1948 BST: Back to those stereotypes you think of the Swiss as pretty cool (like Alpine snow) and calm (like Lake Geneva). Well not so accordiing to Swiss paper Blick which reports the ladies of the nation as getting pretty hot under the collar. With sales of football hotpants going through the roof they describe football as "the new lust of Swiss women". Blick's sex expert Eliane Schweitzer explained: "Everything that touches a woman's heart is involved: Men, sweat and emotions."

1951 BST: Women of Switzerland prepare. The players are in the tunnel.

19 mins: It seems that there are two types of haircut in Ukraine. A nice, clean crop or luxuriant, long blond locks. The crew cut boys edge it in the XI out on the park at the moment. Andriy Voronin sports a ponytail and goes down under a challenge from Johan Djourou.

36 mins: Philipp Degen catches Andriy Nesmachniy and a couple of Ukrainians wave imaginary cards in the air. Our Mexican ref won't fall for such underhand dealings. Still no cards. The 40-year-old's an economist. Not in terms of being economical with his cards, it's his job, as well as being a lawyer. What with being a referee he's a busy chap as well as a friendly fella.

44 mins: Both teams are working hard at closing down their rivals, none more so than Anatoliy Tyoschuk in the holding, central midfield role. He's one of the long blondes and is sporting a yellow and blue hairband. Nice touch.

HALF-TIME: Not too much to write home about there so no need for the fans to nip out and get a postcard of Cologne cathedral and jot a few lines for the relatives back in either Ukraine or Switzerland.

It goes on and on like that

Thanks to whoever was writing that tonight for making the worst game in the world cup a lot more bearable.

(Dont know if links expire but the page is here

mchurl

Seems like you got the best ceal out of the lot of us for this match:D

Rikand

The man is a legend. We've become firm friends over this tournament as i've been stuck in work for most of the games so far Really adds spice to my drab daily routines

evilhomer

you should also look at the guardians minute-by-minute team too.

http://football.guardian.co.uk/worldcup2006/

Some truely classic moments on there too

108 mins The ball bounces around the Ukraine penalty area for what seems like an eternity (it was more like five seconds) after the yellow-shirted players and their green-shirted friend fail to deal with Cabanas's corner. Eventually Degen helpfully heads the ball off for a goal kick.


111 mins "If this comes to penalties and nobody scores, do both teams go out?" asks Michael Aston. I think the players will be a little surprised by this whole "shooting" thing. The ref might have to explain it to them very carefully.


118 mins Why-oh-why couldn't France have come top of Group G and Spain second in Group H - then I wouldn't have had to waffle my way through this tripe. "Cabanas should have been sent off for impersonating a professional footballer,"