the right age to have a child

Mind Hunter 85

i know this is a question with many answers , but what age do you think is the right age to have a child ?i know everybodys different ,but i am interested in other people opinions on this . thanks

aidan_walsh

Personally, age has nothing to do with it. Whether you are able to support a child is what needs to be considered.

scrattletrap

I think about 28, at this stage you have lived your life but still have a spring in your step. Saying that I had my first at 18 and second two years later and I reckon I'm doing ok, but giving the choice to do again I would have waited until I was older.

Mrs. MacGyver

I agree 28 or 29 seem right if you have experienced most of the things you wanted to. i'm 27 and i'd like to foster at about 30 when i've travelled abit etc (have a partner whos supportive).

Ickle Magoo

When you can financially support and emotionally look after a child properly....and, of course, when you feel you want to have one.....I think that's the best time to consider becoming a parent....:)

eiretamicha

Ickle Magoo wrote:

When you can financially support and emotionally look after a child properly....and, of course, when you feel you want to have one.....I think that's the best time to consider becoming a parent....:)

I agree 100%.

I'm only 21, going to be 22 in a couple weeks, and my husband (26) and I truly believe we are emotionally ready to have our first child.

Unfortunately, the financial stability simply isn't there yet, so although we desperately want to start TTC, we know we have to wait. *sigh*

Kernel32

I was 27 having our first and now we have two, she was born in March. I wouldn't have wanted to be any younger than I was. I felt two things were important. One is having some financial stability. Nothing worse than worrying about money when you have a kid on the way. The other was having the opportunity to live as a couple with your partner for some decent period of time. When children come along it all changes and personally I feel it's good to have had that time in the beginning.

luckat

Depends on the parents, and on their circumstances. To me, it would seem ideal that the mother was young enough to have fun with the kids, but old enough to be clearly the mammy!

And ideally, a stable, loving marital relationship and an extended family of loving aunts, uncles and grandparents should be available to the children.

But maturing seems to be happening slower and slower. The 27-year-olds of today are more like the 21-year-olds of the 1960s.

Your body is certainly ready for babies in the early twenties, and the later you leave it, the harder it is to conceive.

fobs

I had my first child at 30 and felt this was the right age for us. My DH is 2 years younger than me but we were together for 7+ years before having our first child and our circumstance were that this was the right time.
Every couples circumstances are different I feel. A lot has to do with how well you know your partner,are in agreement over children and are emotionally ready for the upheaval they will bring.

magnumlady

I was 25 with my first and 28 with my second. Perfect timing for me.

michelle_ie

id love to have a baby at 26........... but i know alot of people who had babies in their teens and are doing pretty well for themselves

scrattletrap

but i know alot of people who had babies in their teens and are doing pretty well for themselves


I think I am one of those but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, you miss out on so much having children young. Luckily mine are old enough now that I can go back to college, but it was hard seeing everyone around me so free while I was permanently responsible. That is life.

Dcully

I had my first child at twenty four and second at twenty seven. My husband was 30 on first and 34 on second. I personally found that men are more ready to have children later than woman.#
Overall I think it is individual and depends on many things .

embee

I was just gone 25 when I had my first, and I'd ideally like at least one more before I hit 30.

MyBaby

Ickle Magoo wrote:

When you can financially support and emotionally look after a child properly....and, of course, when you feel you want to have one.....I think that's the best time to consider becoming a parent....:)

I totally agree. When you and your partner are ready to have a baby, can support a baby and have lived your lives and done everything you wanted in life before a baby. HAving said that, it never works out that way. Most pregnancies are unplanned.

I have my first and last for a while at 22.:)

Femelade

i was 10 days shy of my 21st when i had my daughter, if you are financially stable or not, your child will never want for anything. You make sacrifices with regards to your own lifestyle. it the emotional part of it that you need to pay attention to, and if you have a good family behind you, you will be fine, whatever the age*.


*with the exception of kids having kids...that can turn out bad, with the grandparents raising the grandchildren.

TempestSabre

You can deal with the physical aspects, lack of sleep and heavy lifting better when you are younger. However there are other considerations to consider. Theres no such thing as the "right" age is there. However risks increase as you get older.

Anti

im 22 and i just found out im going to be a dad 3 weeks ago :0

I was shocked at first as this was not at all planned, But im delighted with it now.

In responce to your question there is no right age imo. If your mature enough too look after a child its all gravy.

TempestSabre

"Its all gravy" LOL

Nevyn

congratulations anti hope all goes well you and the mammy to be.

Rogueish

I'm 25 and in a long term relationship I would like to have my first baby in about another 3-4years (before I'm 30 anyway).

We would like to be married first but that is not going to happen for another year or two as my bf is going back to college to do his masters this september. He had always thought that he would be a dad before he was 30, then when he hit 30 it was 35 - he's 33 now so more than likely it will be after the age of 35 that he'll be a dad now.

But as it has been said before everyone is different and I don't think anyone is ever ready for a baby. You just adapt.

smash

ASTA20 wrote:

i know this is a question with many answers , but what age do you think is the right age to have a child ?i know everybodys different ,but i am interested in other people opinions on this . thanks

I think as long as you can afford a child, then it's ok to have one.

TempestSabre

steve06 wrote:

I think as long as you can afford a child, then it's ok to have one.

Define "afford"...

Nevyn

To a lot of people 'afford' means maintaining thier current life style and expendatures and not have to make cut back or scraifices.
Which reallly is what being a parent is about as you put your children first.

Ickle Magoo

Well, we made sure we were able to afford children before we had them....we wanted them to have nice clothes, a room each, a garden to play in, nice holidays, good schools, university funds, healthcare, etc, etc...we also wanted to have safe transport to take them places of interest two or three times a week & money to pay them in, we wanted to be able to afford a creche or nursery so they could make friends with other children, we wanted them to fly over to Scotland to see their relations regularly, we wanted them to eat fresh fruit & organic veg....we wanted myself to be able to stay at home to look after them in the early years....to enable us to do all that, my husband & I needed to take stock of what finances we had - because none of it comes cheap!

Obviously, we love our children - that goes without saying....but we didn't think that love was enough (others will disagree - that's their prerogative) we also wanted to have a stable environment to bring children into when we were financially secure and could "afford" to give our children all the things we want them to have or to experience....

TempestSabre

Thaedydal wrote:

To a lot of people 'afford' means maintaining thier current life style and expendatures and not have to make cut back or scraifices.
Which reallly is what being a parent is about as you put your children first.

When you consider childcare alone can be 1200-2000 a month per child before any other expenses. I wonder how many people have that kinda disposable income per month, that their lifestyle is unaffected by that. If one person looks after the child full time, then thats a drop in earnings of at least 20k pa. Again I wonder how many can take that financial hit without a pause. Having a child is more expensive than having a 2nd mortgage. Then you might have twins or a 2nd child immediately after.

Are you people really saying if you are poor, you can't have kids?