Just caught my girlfriend cheating

LegacyUser

Background info: My girlfriend is from Germany. We've been together for 2 years. She's moving back home at Christmas. The plan is/was we'd stay together and I'd eventually come join her (after a few months.) She'd regularily fly back to Dublin to visit me etc.

Recently (about two months ago) she came back from a trip home and had been acting slightly different. My instincts felt like she had cheated.

Tonight I caught her on her webcam having cybersex with a guy. She was showing him her breasts and vagina. He is from her town in Germany.

I confronted her and this is what I have learnt: she met him during her last trip home. She didn't sleep with him (not sure I believe this) but did lots of other things. He's part of the reason she's been so keen to go back home since then. She is/was planning on sleeping with him when she got home.

To me it seems like she was lining up another boyfriend to take my place when she moves home. I could forgive her if it was just a drunken mistake, but she is clearly developing a relationship with him.

Now I obviously cannot trust her when she moves home.

We have a great relationship. Really loving and understanding and caring. I think she is a great, unique person. She feels the same about me. It's odd this has happened. She's not the cheating type and we don't really have any problems.

I cannot trust her back in Germany. She's obviously going to be sleeping with this guy.

Dump her now?

(I'm feeling a bit numb, this post may seem like I have no emotions but that's not the case at all.)

Metacortex

abitsurprised wrote:

Background info: My girlfriend is from Germany. We've been together for 2 years. She's moving back home at Christmas. The plan is/was we'd stay together and I'd eventually come join her (after a few months.) She'd regularily fly back to Dublin to visit me etc.

Recently (about two months ago) she came back from a trip home and had been acting slightly different. My instincts felt like she had cheated.

Tonight I caught her on her webcam having cybersex with a guy. She was showing him her breasts and vagina. He is from her town in Germany.

I confronted her and this is what I have learnt: she met him during her last trip home. She didn't sleep with him (not sure I believe this) but did lots of other things. He's part of the reason she's been so keen to go back home since then. She is/was planning on sleeping with him when she got home.

To me it seems like she was lining up another boyfriend to take my place when she moves home. I could forgive her if it was just a drunken mistake, but she is clearly developing a relationship with him.

Now I obviously cannot trust her when she moves home.

We have a great relationship. Really loving and understanding and caring. I think she is a great, unique person. She feels the same about me. It's odd this has happened. She's not the cheating type and we don't really have any problems.

I cannot trust her back in Germany. She's obviously going to be sleeping with this guy.

Dump her now?

(I'm feeling a bit numb, this post may seem like I have no emotions but that's not the case at all.)

Yes she is.
You obvioulsy don't trust her, so whats the point. If you stay with her its obviously going to be playing on your mind, driving you mad when she goes back to Germany.
Do you really want that?

wtf?

Maybe you need to talk a little bit more with her!!
If I understood well, she only cheated on you by webcam. If you have a so great relation ship, take the time to understand why she did that. It will help you to take the right decision.

jimmycrackcorm

Is this her? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OCRn_aZej0

I'd say you haven't a hope with this. She's gettingready to move on, so should you.

simu

I would dump her. Her behaviour sounds inexcusable, assuming you've given a fair account of things.

[Jackass]

Ditto. Dump her. Completely betrayed you on a continuos basis and not least, even kept a "sexual" relationship with this guy, when in Ireland, with you.

Gone. Done and Dusted. NEXT.

seamus

Unfortunately no-ones better half seems to be "the cheating type" until you find them cheating.

Sorry to hear it mate, but kick her to the kerb.

StandnDeliver

she has no repect for you,shes lied,betrayed and cheated.... i couldnt see any relationship recovering from that..
dump her and find someone who deserves you

Kinetic^

abitsurprised wrote:

Dump her now?

Yesterday!!!!!

Chinafoot

abitsurprised wrote:

I confronted her and this is what I have learnt: she met him during her last trip home. She didn't sleep with him (not sure I believe this) but did lots of other things. He's part of the reason she's been so keen to go back home since then. She is/was planning on sleeping with him when she got home.

You caught her having cybersex with him.
She's looking forward to seeing him.
She's already done "things" with him.
She's planning to sleep with him.

Why do you even need to ask if you should dump her? Mate, no offence but it sounds to me like this relationship was over as soon as she told you that.

Move on.

LegacyUser

I ask the same myself, do you really need to ask if the fcuk you should dump her or not? Looks to me you have been dumped and betrayed...to say the least...Horrific. I'd slap her back to Germany with a chorizo sausage!

*Angel*

You don't deserve this and she's definitely not worth it, dump her!

TheTruthFairy

abitsurprised wrote:

We have a great relationship.

Sorry but If you did have such a great relationship she wouldn't be getting her baps out for other blokes.

abitsurprised wrote:

I think she is a great, unique person. She feels the same about me.

Does she? Her actions hardly say this, do they?

Have some self respect and dump her now.

Tony255

is she staying with you at the moment, if it was me and she was i'd have her looking for a hotel

DUMP HER NOW!!!!!!!

Zombrex

abitsurprised wrote:

We have a great relationship. Really loving and understanding and caring. I think she is a great, unique person. She feels the same about me....She's not the cheating type

Sorry but the facts would tend to disagree with that assessment

Dump her for being a cheating 'ho. What else were you planning of doing?

Wing Walker

FFS man, you actually have to ask?:eek:

2 options.

Number 1
Dump her now and be done with this thing. She's not worthy of your trust or "understanding" anymore.

Number 2
Just keep going as you were until she moves home and hope that she might change her mind. Not bloody likely but you sound as if you're grasping for this option.

I'd personally go for option 1.

jobonar

abitsurprised wrote:

I confronted her and this is what I have learnt: she met him during her last trip home. She didn't sleep with him (not sure I believe this) but did lots of other things. He's part of the reason she's been so keen to go back home since then. She is/was planning on sleeping with him when she got home.

those 2 lines are what ya need to think about!

she's done "other things" therefore she's cheated and you dont deserve that!

she's "planning on sleeping with him"! if she admitted this to you then that proves she doesnt care as much about you as you perhaps thought and you dont deserve this!

unfortuantely she is the cheating type and you need to move on! nobody deserves to be cheated on like that!

Static M.e.

We have a great relationship. Really loving and understanding and caring.

......ok........

and you just caught her having Cybersex with some guy.

Case closed. Dump her

wtf?

I love you

And I apologize.

BuffyBot

If I understood well, she only cheated on you by webcam

Oh well, that's alright then!

OP - I'm afraid that their appear to be some serious cracks showing (no pun intended) in your relationship. At the end of the day, she has lied, she has betrayed you and this seems to be one of those things that you need to take a big step away from.

quad_red

Dude, dump the skank. She's already moved on! Do you really want to be kissing that mouth after what she's presumably done?

:eek:

elvis2002

wait now. So you believe she hasnt had sex with him even though she's showing the whole lot to him on the internet?

even if thats true, she said she has done other things with him... so lets see, oral sex both ways springs to mind. Why are you even considering this hoe. Kick her to the curb tbh and be glad that you found out before any more of your life was taken up.

GuanYin

Have you actually talked to her about this?

If she's actually said the things above "she is going to sleep with the guy" then why are you even asking the question?

If this is all just supposition on her part, then maybe talk to her and if she is repentant, offer her the chance to earn back your trust.

ct5amr2ig1nfhp

Cheat on her, let her know... then send her packing

ambrose :cool:

layke

Dude, lil story of mine. (It's a favorite).

Went to a party with my first (propper) girlfriend of 2 years, was about 20 or so.
noticed she was missing, started searching. There was one room in the house that was locked, so I listened to the door and hear hot n' steamy sex grunts.. so I decided to call her phone, which I heard ringing on the other side of the door.

Ummm'humm anyway a few mins later out she walks with her ex boyfriend. Both looked at me and their jaws dropped.

Anyhoo to cut the boring buts and give you the gist, we made up and she promised she'd never do it again. Now this was my first GF and I really did love her and I would have done anything to keep it together so we kept together.

6 months later, I walk in to find her with he legs wrapped around the ex again..full on no holds barred naughty secks loike!

Moral of the story:
If she cheats on you KICK HER ASS TO THE KERB AND SAFE YOURSELF THE HASSLE.

No excuses, no sorries, cold & brutal is what you want.

Dragan

abitsurprised wrote:

We have a great relationship.

Obviously not. You may think it is great but there was something rotten in Vegas obviously.

abitsurprised wrote:

Really loving and understanding and caring.

Maybe it appearing that way, if it really was then she wouldn't be showing her bits to other guys and planning on have sex them.

abitsurprised wrote:

I think she is a great, unique person.

She is obviously not that great, or unique, plenty of people cheat on there partners. And she is only a person afterall.

abitsurprised wrote:

She feels the same about me.

Obviously not.

abitsurprised wrote:

It's odd this has happened. She's not the cheating type and we don't really have any problems.

Obviously she is.

abitsurprised wrote:

I cannot trust her back in Germany. She's obviously going to be sleeping with this guy.

Indeed.

abitsurprised wrote:

Dump her now?

Yes. Sorry for being so blunt, but you know you can't stay with this lass.

[/QUOTE]

Fanny Cradock

the girl is moving home. long distance relationships are tough enough without KNOWING that one of the parties is GOING to cheat. for your own sake, end the relationship.

amptypockets

DUMP HER!! sorry but you have to do it for your own sake otherwise you will go mental with (well founded) paranoia whether she's in germany or not!

uncle ernie

BuffyBot wrote:

OP - I'm afraid that their appear to be some serious cracks showing (no pun intended) in your relationship.

lol:D

abitsurprised wrote:

Tonight I caught her on her webcam having cybersex with a guy. She was showing him her breasts and vagina. He is from her town in Germany.

is her home town called dumpsville?

Vegeta

In the words of the great Snoop-Dogg. "Drop her like its hot"

I am sorry man you must feel like sh1te at the moment but you have to pick yourself up and realise no-one gets to treat you like that. NO-ONE

Get rid of her now

LegacyUser

Wierd that ....

I had the same thing with a German girl .. she cheated on me and with someone else in ireland 2 days before she f*cked off to germany, then wanted to get back together when she was coming back ....

Seriously man .. Your better off sticking with the Irish, the germans dont mix well with Irish in a relationship,

Irish people say yes alot when they mean know
German people will ask you more and more of you till you eventually lose the nut.

Seriously man, dump the cow ... shes using you for a free place to stay in dublin and when you do break up with her don't talk to her again, she'll try and guilt you into getting back with her somehow ..

BobTheBeat

Cut her loose.. she's a waste of time. She doesnt have an ounce of respect for you

Dave!

How did you catch her with the webcam....?

Anywho, yeh, dump her now. Other fishies an' all that....

Vegeta

I have a written a one word poem to describe your by now ex girlfriend I hope

"Bitch"

The end.

Ruu_Old

Sorry to hear about your girlfriend trouble OP. Im just echoing what everyone else has said here. I dont think there is any other option for you.

Fanny Cradock

krakof wrote:

Seriously man .. Your better off sticking with the Irish, the germans dont mix well with Irish in a relationship,

Irish people say yes alot when they mean know
German people will ask you more and more of you till you eventually lose the nut.

Utter tosh. What a load of bollox!

LegacyUser

Kick her cheating ass to the curb my friend move on ...... go out with your mates have a great night and forget about her , she’s cheated on you and is continuing to do so , stand up for yourself and get out of that relationship she'll just keep hurting you.

Blub2k4

wtf? wrote:

I love you

And I apologize.

Es scheint voll ein Bisschen spaet zu sein fur sowas.

Denkste nicht?

smash

ok back up for a minute..... Do you have the video?

madmurdock

Sie ist ein Betrüger. Finden Sie ein anderes Mädchen

jester77

Lassen die Schlampe!

Our man in Havana

Das skank entleeren!

Tar.Aldarion

If those things you said are from a reliable source...she has to go...

wtf?

You dont know anything about our story and you judge me!!
You didn't do any mistakes??And don't tell me bull****. I don't know any couples who are honest. And I am pretty sure that my boyfriend cheat on me either. But I don't care because I felt good with him
Yes, I cheated by webcam. Exicting and funny because there was no touch only flirt. It was funny.
I never had sex with this guy only kisses and hugges when I was very drunk.And I don't give a **** about him.
I am here for 2 years and I am waiting for my boyfriend for 1 year to move with him. Yes i planned to move in Germany. Not for that guy. Just because I am ****ing bored here. I miss my family, my friends. My boyfriend was ok with that but maybe I wanted him to take more risk. And to come with me in the same time instead of to wait.
I know there is no explanation possible. What I did it is not nice at all
I really care about my boyfriend and about our story.
And yes, I feel discusting by myself and very ashame.
I know I blow it. But my boyfriend is very importand for me. He brings me everything, but maybe I needed more in this moment.
I would forgive him for everything. Because I love him I just want him to be happy.
And everybody can be very happy because now it is my previous boyfriend. He dumped on me

LegacyUser

Auf Wiedersehen, Pet ...

elexes

lol cant believe you had to as the question

imo some songs to help you over the next while

eminem - kim
kmfdm - ultra
korn - **** that

and btw you wouldnt feel bad about what you did if you didnt get cought in the act

LegacyUser

elexes wrote:

and btw you wouldnt feel bad about what you did if you didnt get cought in the act

I agree. You only feel guilty and sad because you were caught.

If he didn't catch you, you would have continued to see the other guy and probably would have slept with him back in Germany. You were happy to cheat on your boyfriend. I have no sympathy for you, stupid girl.

Sleepy

wtf? wrote:

And everybody can be very happy because now it is my previous boyfriend. He dumped on me

Jesus. I think someone's watched Intermission one time too many...

GuanYin

Is this actually history repeating or do we have another boards couple domestic on PI?

Has the OP repsonded? Why do they always leave soap opera stuff on a cliffhanger and we don't even get dramatic music here.....

Personally, if I were in that situation I'd sit down and talk (not through a keyboard). I don't know if I'd stay with the person but I'd at least see what they have to say and offer.

keithclancy

wtf? wrote:

You dont know anything about our story and you judge me!!
You didn't do any mistakes??And don't tell me bull****. I don't know any couples who are honest. And I am pretty sure that my boyfriend cheat on me either. But I don't care because I felt good with him
Yes, I cheated by webcam. Exicting and funny because there was no touch only flirt. It was funny.
I never had sex with this guy only kisses and hugges when I was very drunk.And I don't give a **** about him.
I am here for 2 years and I am waiting for my boyfriend for 1 year to move with him. Yes i planned to move in Germany. Not for that guy. Just because I am ****ing bored here. I miss my family, my friends. My boyfriend was ok with that but maybe I wanted him to take more risk. And to come with me in the same time instead of to wait.
I know there is no explanation possible. What I did it is not nice at all
I really care about my boyfriend and about our story.
And yes, I feel discusting by myself and very ashame.
I know I blow it. But my boyfriend is very importand for me. He brings me everything, but maybe I needed more in this moment.
I would forgive him for everything. Because I love him I just want him to be happy.
And everybody can be very happy because now it is my previous boyfriend. He dumped on me

Well then, you blew it, if you were bored and all that you should have been playing with yourself on a webcam to your boyfriend not some other guy.

I agree with the two others, you wouldnt have felt guilty about it unless you got caught.

I hope he dumps you, the two of you would be better off, he won't go off his head with paranoia and you can go off and do your German buddy.

Move on, you f*cked up

keithclancy

Although on the other hand, all men are sexual predators .. hahahaha ...
It must be the German guys fault right ?