Who says USAF Ground crew cant have fun?

IrishAirCorps

" Squawks " are problem listings that pilots generally leave for mantenance crews to fix before the next flight. Here are some "squawks " submitted by US Airforce pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews: (P)=problem (S)=solution

(P) Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement
(S) Almost replaced left inside main tyre

(P) Test flight ok except autoland very rough
(S) Autoland not fitted to this aircraft

(P) No.2 propellor seeping prop fluid
(S) No.2 propellor seepage normal - No.1, No.3 and No.4 propellors lack normal leakage.

(P) Something loose in cockpit
(S) Something tightened in cockpit

(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
(S) Evidence removed

(P) DME volume unbelievably loud
(S) Volume set to more believable level

(P) Dead bugs on windshield
(S) Live bugs on order

(P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200fpm descent
(S) Cannot reproduce problem on ground

(P) IFF inoperative
(S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode

(P) Friction lock causes throttle levers to stick
(S) That's what they are there for

(P) No.3 engine missing
(S) Engine found on right wing after brief search

(P) Aircraft handles funny
(S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious

(P) Target radar hums
(S) Reprogrammed the target radar with the lyrics

Wishbone Ash

We used to have that posted up at work year's ago. I think it was in 'Newsweek' magazine. I love the "unbelieveable loud" and "auto-land" ones.

Danno

Brilliant

IrishAirCorps

(P) Aircraft handles funny
(S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious



classic

jobonar

(P) No.3 engine missing
(S) Engine found on right wing after brief search

^^the best 1! got funny looks in the office for laughing at this...