Rules of Islam for raising children for a Non-Muslim

Flying

If he can't or won't respect your religion you could be going down a slippery path, what else will he not respect.

If I were you I would look seriously at the pro's and con's of that type of marraige.

Most Jews dont believe in mixed marraige for good reasons the same as muslims, as it gets over complicated even with the best intentions.

I personally would not let one half of a relationship dictate how children are brought up, you might sit back and rethink you current status and see if it is really a good idea marrying a muslim.

the_new_mr

I was a little confused about the content of your post there flying until I realised that you were replying without reading the entire thread. Since then, Medina has left the relationship she was in at the time and later embraced Islam before marrying another Muslim.

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote:

Yes these are reasonable situations where it happens but you're not giving any explanation as to why it's only allowed for men.

Well, I can only hazard a guess at trying to know God's wisdom behind the decision but I guess it's mainly biological since it's easy to know who's the mother but not that easy to know who would be the father. There may be another reason I'm not aware of and am open to being corrected by anyone here.

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

the_new_mr wrote: »

I was a little confused about the content of your post there flying until I realised that you were replying without reading the entire thread. Since then, Medina has left the relationship she was in at the time and later embraced Islam before marrying another Muslim.

rofl, sorry for the Ot post.. but that's just hilarious.

Flying

the_new_mr wrote: »

I was a little confused about the content of your post there flying until I realised that you were replying without reading the entire thread. Since then, Medina has left the relationship she was in at the time and later embraced Islam before marrying another Muslim.

Well, I can only hazard a guess at trying to know God's wisdom behind the decision but I guess it's mainly biological since it's easy to know who's the mother but not that easy to know who would be the father. There may be another reason I'm not aware of and am open to being corrected by anyone here.

I skimmed through it to be it honest but what can I say another one bites the dust ;-)

bogwalrus

You should raise your children with no religion. It seems they should be able to decide when they are older when they start to question their existence. I think if a child gets conditioned to believe something without understanding it could be very damaging to that religion and the mind of the person. It took me years to break away from christianity though it is obviously not the right path to follow.

Imagine how hard it will be to question a religion you have believed in all your life without having that feeling of truly understanding why you believe in it and that you believe in it because you decided it was truly the right one.

MeditationMom

by Medina - Of course I want them raised as Christian but I have to let that go if I want the marriage to work..

Medina - what marriage?

For the sake of your children, get on your knees and pray to God with all your heart until your knees are numb and bleed, and you have starved almost to death - let's say 40 days in the desert may do - both a Christian and Muslim approach to gain clarity. No matter how much you want the marriage to work, what you are setting out to do here is simply impossible.

Marriage is meant to support the raising of children, not the other way around! The way you have it in your mind - "children need to be raised in a certain way to make a marriage work" - is a big mistake in thinking. This marriage you are planning will never work - no matter which religion you raise your kids in. You're coming at it from the wrong end. It has nothing to do with you, your boy friend, or the future religion of your children. It is the way you think about marriage that is the huge problem. No wonder you are anxious.

At the moment you are not thinking of your children at all. Only of the marriage to a man who doesn't even seem to respect you that much. Furthermore, you obviously don't know enough about the way children are raised in Islam, both the advantages and disadvantages in comparison to your own religion, to be able to make the promise you have made, in the first place. That's a pretty casual way to commit your future children's spiritual lives, as well as your own.

Wake up, dear one. You are precious, and so are your future children! Which man will YOU decide will qualify to have the privilege of fathering, and helping you raise, YOUR children, the way YOU think would be best for them? Before marriage, that is what you are supposed to figure out. After marriage - true - you have to make it work.

I do hear you in regards to finally dating a man who is more spiritual. That is refreshing - there are a few more out there, though, I am sure are more fitting for you and your children. YOU get to decide how to raise your children. Then a man may JOIN you. Don't settle for less!!! Marriage and raising children is hard enough even then. Your man, presently, is happy to have his children grown in your body, but not raised by you or who you are, but by him and his new found religion. You, and your spirituality, don't matter. It is painful to hear, but true. Spirituality matters to you, though, and will matter even more to you once you have children!

Just in case you are already married to this man and are already pregnant - and actually do have to make an existing marriage work, well, then leave all religious education to your husband, his mother, his other relatives, and his Imam, completely. Make it entirely their responsibility and have them enforce all the strict rules of Islam. Your husband seems to be of the strict kind, which will be a lot of work. Best to stay out of it all together and not cause conflict for the children. But how is a mother to do that once the questions start, when you tuck them into bed at night, and when you see injustice and prejudice from Muslim family members in the name of Islam? Not easy. You need to study Islam yourself in depth to find what is common in Islam and Christianity to be able to relate to your Muslim children.

I hope there isn't a marriage yet "you have to make work", by essentially giving up your children. Obviously you care about spirituality and should be your children's first spiritual teacher according to what you know and what is true to you, in your soul. It is a great joy and no man is worth it to give that up for. Although many Muslim men are terribly handsome and wonderful - those deep dark eyes... nonetheless, your children need to be your heart's number one concern. Once you find your man, according to your wishes for your children, then you can make him feel like he is Number One

Here's a big hug for you and your future little ones.

MeditationMom

oops - I guess I didn't read the whole thread either. :rolleyes:

the_new_mr

MeditationMom wrote:

and when you see injustice and prejudice from Muslim family members in the name of Islam? Not easy.

I take it you mean doing injustice in the name of Islam when Islam doesn't prescribe such actions, right?

Think I'm going to close this thread soon. It keeps getting inundated with "Sorry, didn't read the whole thread" posts

MeditationMom

by the-new-mr - I take it you mean doing injustice in the name of Islam when Islam doesn't prescribe such actions, right?

Yes. But, I don't know Islam well enough to know whether there are any - to a non-Muslim like Medina - "unjust" prescriptions in Islam. Circumcision for boys or girls would become an immediate issue once she had children, for example, and her husband felt strongly about it. I don't even know whether Islam prescribes it or it is a separate, cultural custom - or whether it is legal in Ireland. But, if it were required, unless she - with her heart - became Muslim, this would strike her as terrible injustice. It would be the same if it were the other way around, a Jewish or Muslim mother being forbidden to circumcise her children by a Christian husband and his family.

So, I am using the word "injustice" as a relative term. Justice and injustice as experienced by anyone in regards to any "other" religion in a two faith marriage. My point was to recommend to figure all this out before marriage and not have the fighting in the house once the children are there.

happybee

aghhh.....i wrote a big long message but got booted out before it went up.

Medina, are you still reading this thread?

If so, drop me a line.I'm an Irish woman marrying a Muslim man,and while it may not be the easiest of paths to join,its certainly NOT an impossible one.

But definitely, dont put your head in the sand! PM me if you'd like to chat more.

the_new_mr

MeditationMom wrote:

So, I am using the word "injustice" as a relative term.

Yeah, I see what you mean. It would seem an injustice to you if you didn't like/want it.

Just for the record, although circumcision for boys is prescribed, there is NO prescription for female circumcision (otherwise known as female genital mutilation) in Islam.

happybee wrote:

aghhh.....i wrote a big long message but got booted out before it went up.

You can do what I do when I write a big post. Copy&paste it into a notepad before clicking on submit reply . Lost a couple of posts myself before I got into that habit.

happybee wrote:

Medina, are you still reading this thread?

If so, drop me a line.I'm an Irish woman marrying a Muslim man,and while it may not be the easiest of paths to join,its certainly NOT an impossible one.

But definitely, dont put your head in the sand! PM me if you'd like to chat more.

Since this post was first written, Medina left her original partner then embraced Islam on her own before marrying a different Muslim man.

Think I'll close this thread once and for all to stop confusion