Novelty wearing off?

LegacyUser

Hey
going unreg for this.
Seeing my guy about 4 months now. Initally, there was a bit of drama behind us getting together. But for the last 3 months its been more or less plain sailing. He's very open and complimentary, and our sex life is thriving. But the last week or so, I feel that maybe our day to day relationship is starting to dwindle.
I'm worried that he may be starting to settle into the "take each other for granted phase" or simply loosing interest. There are no more random texts during the day, the replies are a bit longer coming, and the enderments are few and far between.
Is this the settling in phase or is he loosing interest now that "he has me" so to speak.
I'm starting to feel a bit insecure which is crap, because I know I'll develop a big paranoid head and that's gonna start its own problems.
Any thoughts?

dudara

When you say drama, what do you mean?

Did one or both of you leave other partners to start this relationship?

LegacyUser

He split from a long term g/f earlier this year. Incidentally, we didn't know each other at that time. I think friends thought he should stay single.

Ickle Magoo

Have you talked to him about how you are feeling?

AnitaMcCluskey

Talking to him should reassure you on the situation, if not move on.......

Ruu_Old

Sit down and have a chat with him like the others have mentioned to see where you both want (or see) the relationship to go.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies guys.
I suppose I;m just wondering is it something that requires a talk, or is it a natural progression. The concenus seems to be it is....
Just hate them "can we talk" sessions. I don't want to appear over sensitive.

Ruu_Old

laylalola wrote:

Thanks for the replies guys.
I suppose I;m just wondering is it something that requires a talk, or is it a natural progression. The concenus seems to be it is....
Just hate them "can we talk" sessions. I don't want to appear over sensitive.

Its hard sometimes but best get it out in the open instead of losing your mind, best of luck.

Ickle Magoo

laylalola wrote:

Thanks for the replies guys.
I suppose I;m just wondering is it something that requires a talk, or is it a natural progression. The concenus seems to be it is....
Just hate them "can we talk" sessions. I don't want to appear over sensitive.

If it's something that bothers you about your relationship with this man, then talking to your man about it is the sensible thing to do....that way you can both work towards a solution rather than you worrying alone....:)

onemanband

I would say that if things are still going strong in the bedroom, it is unlikely he is losing interest.

2 possible options:

1. He is beginning to take things a little bit for granted.
2. He has some other things at work or whatever which are occupying his mind.

I would say the best way to find out is to talk to him about it in a light hearted friendly/cheeky way. If he says he was very busy take his word. If he says he did not notice then a polite kick in the arse is needed!!

Don't have a big and heavy on it so early in the relationship. It could come across a bit bunny boiler!!

simu

op wrote:

But the last week or so, I feel that maybe our day to day relationship is starting to dwindle.

A mere week? Wait a while and see what happens tbh.

Black Swan

laylalola wrote:

Thanks for the replies guys.
I suppose I;m just wondering is it something that requires a talk, or is it a natural progression. The concenus seems to be it is....
Just hate them "can we talk" sessions. I don't want to appear over sensitive.

Hey laylalola, what about planning something fun with him? Then do it! Then pick another time to be just spontaneous and surprise him? Shake it up a bit?:cool:

LegacyUser

I suppose I'll have to bite the bullet then and try the subtle talk approach. : )
I know a week mightn't seem long as someone else suggest, but in my experience its when you leave things go, that they fester and blow all out of proportion, and get the paranionias...
Someone else mentioned being spontantous and that's also a problem as we both have children and seldom get proper "quality time" it seems we have to organise ourselves around our schedule. So far we've being going pretty good, but that's why I was relying on the texts and phonecalls for the "thinking of you" feel good factor.
Anyway, I'll broach the subject, hopefully in a non serious way tomorrow.
Thanks for your comments guys.

You should talk to him about it. That's about all I an say, mainly because if you want to keep a relationship going, ye have to be able to talk to each other about these things.

Marksie

laylalola wrote:

I feel that maybe our day to day relationship is starting to dwindle.
I'm worried that he may be starting to settle into the "take each other for granted phase" or simply loosing interest. There are no more random texts during the day, the replies are a bit longer coming, and the enderments are few and far between.
Is this the settling in phase or is he loosing interest now that "he has me" so to speak.

As eveyone else says, talking is good. How does he treat you when he is with you?
If other aspects fo your relationship are thriving, then I wouldnt be too concerned about replies in texts.
But if you are then talk.

jrey1981

sorry to be blunt, but it sounds like he is on the rebound.

Best of luck