1st time in love!! 23yo!

LegacyUser

Hi im in love for the first time in my life, im at a total loss as to what to do and im turning to this website to tell my tale of woe and hopefully, hopefully someone will write me back with some answers.
Im 23 and she is 19-20. Almost 2 years ago (November i think) i went into an internet chatroom and sent a cheeky message to this english chick from London who happened to be there at the same time as me. She replied with a very witty comeback (cant remember what it was) and we spent the rest of the night chatting and teasing each other and i found myself getting quite fond of her. We arranged to meet the next night at the same time and this became a regular occurance over the next few months. I used to come back up to college at about half 7 and we'd spend an hour or so chatting, arguing, insulting each other and generally enjoying each others company. Were both have a serious sarcastic streak, i am a bit of a bastard to women you could say and she is a mean bitch, stuck up and snobby but i know beneath it all she is actually a really nice girl, loyal, fun, loves the sea, thinks she can surf, bit geeky in a sexy way and i just really liked her. We never had cybersex or spoke dirty or anything, we never wanted to and to be honest if she had been asking for cybersex i would have problady went off her straight away.

Then college ended for the summer, i went lifeguarding for three months and i had no internet connection, she went to biarritz where she owns some apartment block or something (shes rich) so we started writing each other letters. Just about once a month or whatever and we had discussed meeting up but only ever really touched off the subject as i was'nt sure if i would actually meet someone off the internet even though our unique relationship had developed to something further than that. I used to get the odd phone call off her and we would text each other every couple of weeks.

Then college started again, we would chat on MSN, not quite as much but we'd write to each other more often and we were basically on the verge of falling in love. Anyway i graduated college in 2005 (IT) went lifeguarding for the last time and then went into my full time job while she moved over to Biarritz permenantly.

Skip forward to June 06, myself and my friend in Dublin airport after booking 3 nights in Biarritz june bank holiday. Missed our connection in Stanstead and caught a differant flight to la Rochelle and had to get a train so missed her completly the first night. Met her the second night in a really loud crappy nightclub called 'Playboy' of all places. Spent about half an hour together talking a little but it was kind of hard in such as atmosphere, i asked could i kiss her. I thought i was being polite and i was kind of drunk. She was a nice kisser!! Rang her the next day and her phone was off, didnt get through to her until the evening and she said she was at a pool party all day and had forgotten her phone and that she was too tired to come in and meet me that night.

So i snapped on the phone straight away and hung up on her, rang her back about 5 minutes later and told her i just wanted to see her because i was going home tomorrow. Sounded horribly desperate according to my mate and i was being being desperate, i knew i was but at the same time i was on a very tight time scale and i was trying to make the most out of my three days. Normally if a girl turned off her phone on me like that id leave it about a week to txt her by which time she would have come running back to me anyway. However i did not have time to play mind games, i could not just give her the silent treatment because i didnt have the bloddy time. She kept insulting me aswell, kept telling me how ugly i was and how i looked l ike a little monkey and i kept calling her pumpkin head etc. All very insulting but all very good natured as we both knew. Only dam thing is, i seem to be attracted to women who are able to slag and insult me and as a result i was turning to putty in her hands. I know i was but i could'nt help it. It was just nice to hear some cruel insults instead of the usual compliments that are just boring at this stage.

So anyway she apolagises and tells me to ring her the next day insisting i will have time to meet her early becuse ryanair doesnt depart until after 4. So like a fool i ring her the next day (about 10 times and i almost feel like crying because ive never lowered myself like that before. Self esteem and ego badly damaged) She doesnt answer so i go home without seeing her. Fought my friend in the middle of the road on the way back up to the apartment with a load of french people and surfers cheering us on because he kept making smart comments that i didnt need to hear. Got pulled by the police 6 times on the way home problady becasue of the bruises on us lol but thats another story and were friends now.

Arrived back in ireland Sunday night in a badly depressed state. Ive never felt that way about ANY girl ever ever in my whole life before. I started moving into a new place Sunday night and i saw some of her letters and the pain i felt in my heart was unbelivable. I had to actually wrap them up to forget about them. I should have just burnt them to forget about her but no way could i bring myself to. And i would'nt mind but what she did to me i have done to a million girls a million times without ever a second thought and i knew i was getting a real taste of my own medicne. So Monday morning i wrote her this email, please excuse my patheticness:

---

Hey *her name*,


Before you read any further i just want you to know that im not writing this email to try and get you to like me again or anything like that. I know it takes two people to like each other for something to work.
Im back in Ireland here as you problady know and licking my wounds so to speak, just moving into a new house today. Im sorry things didnt work out for us, im really sorry in fact but i guess it was'nt meant to be. Im just writing you this email now though to ask you what it was that put you off me. I was thinking about it all day yesterday and today and i dont know if i came accross as slightly too eager, which i knew i was doing but i could'nt help myself, or werther it was something i said or the way i was. So if you would'nt mind, will you just write me back a small email and let me know or else il always wonder. I promise il never text you or email you again *her name*, but please do this last thing for me because its really tormenting my head. I think i kind of deserve to know anyway after all this time. So please, do that for me even if its just one sentenance i need to know.

See ya and take care!!

---

So about a month passed and i heard nothing from her, still really mad about her, trying to convince myself that its the fact she blanked me that is making me think of her so much and that i am not still half in love with her as i think i am. Then this morning i get this email off her and now i dont know what to think:

---

*my name*.... firstly id like you to know i dont have the internet and thats why its taken me so long to email you back. as much as u think im lying and that im a bitch i can promise you that its the truth. your question fairly hard to answer and i dont want you to not text me anymore because your great. i didnt just write to you for so long because i hoped that we would end up together, blah blah blah. you made me laugh when i saw you at playboy but i think it was the whole thing about not knowing you and the fact u asked to kiss me. it was too much too quick. i thinki about you alot, you were part of my life and i hope that you dont take it too bad. maybe youve deleted my number already so in that case just have the best life and be good. if u ever come back ring me baby. yours always x

---

Now that might not sound like the most loving email in the world but as i said she is not into the lovey dovey stuff. Well she is but you have to be there to bring it out in her. What i want to do is book a weekend there in early September so i can see her again and do things slightly differant this time. However i think if i do that will she just think im some sad looser that is prepared to drop everything after the way she went on last time, even if i did freak her out a bit. When we used to write letters we used to joke about getting married and having kids together but there was a bit of truth in it aswell and i think we both knew that. As long as they get my looks i used to tell her lol. Shes such a bitch but i still like her so much. I cant go saying how much because i might email her on the link of this thread in a couple of weeks so she can read it for herself.

What i need to know is, should i just forget this girl and put her out of my mind and never see her or think of her for the rest of my life and move on? Can anyone see a future for us?
Or should i......Well i dont even know what else to do or think. This is already starting to sound like a romantic tale except without the happy ending but that could come yet i just dont know.

Mods and members, what do ye think?

Thanks for reading.

moridin

I think that meeting someone like that for the first time in a noisy random pub with a mate in tow wasn't really the best first "real" meeting you could have had.

Book the weekend in september but go with at least 2 others. Arrange to meet her privately, i.e. not out in a noisy bar called Playboy - go to dinner or something, and see how you get on. Your two mates can go somewhere else, tell them you have plans

It'll probably torment you just to leave things as they are, and if you two don't hit it off as more than mates then perhaps you'll be able to patch up your friendship after spending some real time together, not just in a random pub.

Gateway

You probably came across as to clingy which alot of girls don't like. Go over and give it another go. Do as moridin says in the post above and don't be arranging to met up with her everyday while your there have some fun with your own mates over there. Then by the end of your holiday you'll know if she's worth the effort or not.

Good luck!

AngryBadger

You were in contact with this person for ages over the internet, and in your head you put her up on this pedestal and worked out all the little details that would define the relationship the two of you were obviously going to have.

Fair enough, we've all done it, no harm there. Except that you then went ahead and expected her to follow through on all your fantasies, which you had zero right or reasonable expectation to do.

What happens now depends entirely on her response, and feelings. Her e-mail to you was very non-commital, she's not saying she never wants to see you again, she's not saying she wants to see you at all, so I dunno what she feels in that regard.

Honestly, and I'm sorry but this is going to be fairly brutal, I'd say you made a fool of yourself when you met her, by meeting her in a crowded nightclub backed up by your mates, and then ringing her god knows how many times, on top of that if you were so smitten that you were fighting with your mate over it I'd say you were putting out a seriously needy vibe when you met her.

I would't be running at her with a long weekend, at least not without asing her if she'd be interesting in starting over on a one-to-one again, no mates, no nightclubs. Otherwise, sure keep up the contact, but you've obviously made your feelings known, and I'd say she has to. Leave it at that.

Canis Lupus

mods and members, what do ye think

I think you came across as scary and asking to kiss her was the icing on the cake.

I think you should find a girl closer to home, there is no future with your current obsession.

Chinafoot

By your own admission you were a bit of a bastard to women (I could go into the Karma argument but I won't )....now did any of these women ever get really clingy and think they were in love with you? If so, did you think they were acting like desperate fools? Maybe she's thinking the same?

Meeting her the way you did was a bad idea. You made yourself look totally desperate (no offence) and she probably thinks you're a bit too needy for her liking.

How much time have you actually spent with her - as in physically in her company? It's so easy to fall for someone online but unfortunately the person we have built up in our head isn't always the same as the one we are greeted with in person. Sometimes that 'spark' isn't there when you meet in person. Maybe it wasn't there for her? She said you asking to kiss her was "too much too quick"...she's hardly going to appreciate you heading out there again to see her.

I'd forget about it if I were you. If she wants to see you again then let her come here.

oulu

Quite simplely you where not the same guy in person as you where in the chat room.Maybe the guy in the chat room is someone you want to be . You the chat room man is easy going witty bit of a prick , treat them mean stay keen type, which she likes, then this desperate loner type comes along and ask's for a kiss how sad you where to ask her that, you should have just kissed her and told she is lucky to get it,that's more like she wanted I think just an opinion on what I have read. Bringing your mate over how old are you ?14 maybe. You put yourself like this fellow who is always getting the girls then treating them like ****, is this the chat room man who you want to be. How many girls have you been with really , Sorry to be so blunt but ringing 10 times probley more I,d say, Should have been one call leave message and you should have gone drinking and chasing , I know the chat room man wound have.

DAEDULUS

you know well that what happens in the films isnt exactly congruent with real life and you cant just show up at her doorstep confessing your love and things will work out.. :P
it sounds like you know your sh!t in terms of women, thus you should realise.. that although you really like her, she is still just a woman, not an angel.. and hopefully your experience will have thought you that when you show as much interest as you did, the game is up....like you said, you are putty in her hands.. she knows she could probably have you if she wanted(we have to get rid of this), and it seems from the recent email that she sees you as more of a friend now... (how i see it..)all you can do is treat her like you have with all those other girls.. dont contact her and just hope that she starts to miss your regular emails, and hopefully she will come crawlin back.. then, then(presuming she does come back), you make fun of her about it!, you know how it goes and your back in the game lol

hope this helps

Beruthiel

I can sum this up very quickly and easily.
She is not interested.
You won't change her mind on that and why would you want to?
Have some self respect and never contact her again.
You've acted like a doormat and when you do that, people tend to walk on you.
Sorry if that's harsh, but there are many other girls out there who will treat you with respect. She's not one of them.

Zombrex

AngryBadger wrote:

You were in contact with this person for ages over the internet, and in your head you put her up on this pedestal and worked out all the little details that would define the relationship the two of you were obviously going to have.

Fair enough, we've all done it, no harm there. Except that you then went ahead and expected her to follow through on all your fantasies, which you had zero right or reasonable expectation to do.

Agree 100% with that, Internet relationships aren't real.

To the OP, you have a fantasy in your mind about this girl being the prefect woman for you, based on your internet conversations. This fantasy isn't really. You don't know this girl. The only thing you know is the censored, well thought out conversations you have had, which developed in your mind into the perfect woman. Its the same way that people really like movie star based on a likeable character they play in a movie. its not real, its a fantasy.

The girl most likely realises that internet chat relationships are not to be taken that seriously, and I think you should too.

LikeOhMyGawd!

The whole thing with her isn't working out; she's not interested so it's time to call it a day. Anyhow, apart from very poor grammar, bad spelling and an enjoyment of slagging matches, you have very litttle in common with her.

But not to worry, there are plenty more women on the internet for you to become infatuated with. Some might even own two apartment blocks, or maybe three...so, onwards and upwards as they say!

fuzzywiggle

Wicknight wrote:

Agree 100% with that, Internet relationships aren't real.
The girl most likely realises that internet chat relationships are not to be taken that seriously, and I think you should too.

What about the marriages/long term relationships that have started through internet chat rooms? Are those marriages and relationships not real either?


OP, ringing her 10 times in one day is a bit much. Did that not dawn on you? I'd say you scared her off. Which is easily done when you came on as strong as you did. Don't make a further fool out of yourself. She says she hasn't had internet connection and that's why she hasn't replied to your email until now, well if she thinks you're so great why didn't she text/ring you to apologise. I'm sure you don't deserve to be treated like this. And for some reason I don't think you're in love either. Highly infatuated perhaps. That's just my opinion. And now you're thinking of going to go see her again after how she's treated you? Have you got any respect for yourself? If she wanted to have some sort of a future with you her email wouldn't have read ''have the best life'' etc. Get out there and meet some people. You'll soon forget about her.

Chinafoot

Wicknight wrote:

Agree 100% with that, Internet relationships aren't real.

Don't agree with that at all and I'm sure there are plenty of happy couples out there who would feel the same.

This internet relationship didn't work and the OP built her up into something she's not. He needs to read her email again very carefully and realise that she's really not bothered.

Move on.

AngryBadger

fuzzywiggle wrote:

What about the marriages/long term relationships that have started through internet chat rooms? Are those marriages and relationships not real either?

I think the point is that in this case the OP built the relationship up in his head without any significant grounding. yes they were in contact for an extended period of time, but that's never sufficient gronds for assuming the most perfect relationship with someone.

Generally people who meet via the 'net and wind up marrying or whatever don't get married the first time they meet face to face. Usually they meet up a few times, and then things move to the next level. The OP didn't really give that a chance to happen here, maybe the girl in question had similar feelings, but the whole situation was blown out of the water by the way events unfolded.

BaZmO*

OP. Read over your post again, only this time pretend it's one of your mates that posted it. What advice would you give them? You'd tell them to cop on and move on I'd imagine.

Bottom line is, you've treated girls like sh1t in the past and now the roles are reversed and you don't like it. Life's a b1tch eh?

Plus, NEVER EVER ask a girl can you kiss her. Either just go in for the kill or don't bother.

Zombrex

fuzzywiggle wrote:

What about the marriages/long term relationships that have started through internet chat rooms? Are those marriages and relationships not real either?

They aren't real until you actually meet the person in the flesh. What ever happens then is the reality. That is the real starting point.

I'm not saying two people can't get along after they meet each other in real life, but it is silly to assume that because you are getting on well in chat rooms that you have a "real" relationship going on between you. You don't, you have a fantasy relationship. The real relationship starts when you meet properly, and you should judge your relationship based on that experience, not on the chat room.

You get this type of thing all the time on this forum, someone was "going out" with someone virtually for a while, they believe they have been having a proper relationship with someone and then when they actually meet up it all falls apart. You get "we were together for 2 years online and then when she came to visit she was all cold and uninterested in me" type posts all the time here. Ones inital reaction is "thats terrible, they were going out for 2 years and then all of sudden she was all cold to him", yet once you realise the 2 years were virtual it makes sense. They weren't going out for 2 years, they were going out for the week she/he was with the person, and realising that you don't actually like someone after a week isn't that big a deal (btw this is an example, it isn't connected to the OPs post, but the principle applies)

The person is shocked and upset because they thought/believed they had a proper relationship going on with the other person, when in fact they didn't.

Zombrex

AngryBadger wrote:

The OP didn't really give that a chance to happen here, maybe the girl in question had similar feelings, but the whole situation was blown out of the water by the way events unfolded.

Exactly, well said.

If one approachs the whole internet chat room thing as a "proper" relationship, then when you actually meet the person your expectations of where you two are in the relationship does not reflect reality, in fact is probably way off.

You think you are months, years, into your relationship when really you are at the very very start. The OP thinks he is madly in love with this girl. Most likely he isn't, he doesn't know this girl, he is madly in love with the fantasy that was presented to him through the chat room. He got a tiny bit and his mind filled in the rest. When the two actually met the reality was quite a different matter, though the OP is still apparently clinging onto the fantasy version of their relationship. As I said before, it is similar to the way that a fan can fall "in love" with a movie star, or character she/he plays. Its not real.

LegacyUser

Hey thanks for all the responses. Im not sure if you are right or what but ive no intention of just forgetting about her.

Some of you pointed out that i was not the fella that i appeared to be in the chatroom. This is definately not true. After writing letters, chatting everyday and speaking on the phone etc for two years i think we could see each others personailtys as they really were. I actually toned it down slightly if anything when talking to her but when i met her i was full of confidence, i was kind of drunk and problady as one of you said, was in no fit mood to meet her for the first time in a noisy nightclub. We did actually get on really well though for an hour, we were just chatting and joking around, she kept slapping my sunburn and i kept teasing her. I think maybe she was just wanting to chat, flirt around a bit and then kiss but i just went straight in for it and yes i did make a big mistake asking could i kiss her. I would'nt mind but ive never even done that before. I think she got a bit annoyed aswell when i came back from the toilet and rubbed my hands dry on her. After i washed them of course, lol.

I dont really know what to make of her email. If one of my friends had got it i would have told them to forget her, but her cool tone and uncommitted response is typical of her and if you had read some of her letters you would understand what i mean. She is not into lovey dovey stuff and id barely ever get a compliment out of her, never mind her asking me to go back over so im a bit stumped.

She was what she had come accross on MSN and i believe i was too. I mean i didnt go putting on some loser act over the internet to try and impress some girl that i still didnt even know properly. I always refused to discuss past relationships, i never asked her about hers. Rather not know! But we definately clicked, even on the phone the next day we were chatting away for about an hour, really comfortable conversation.

So anyway, im seeing someone since i came back but before we go to sleep at night i find myself thinking of her and sort of imagining her in bed with me instead of my gf. Never think of her during sex or anything like that though.

So i reckon im gonna leave her off now anyway. I will go back over to Biarritz but its going to be next June and im just gonna send her a text when im over there letting her know im there. Im not going to text her in the meantime even if she texts me, which i think she will and i will problady send her a card at Christmas or something. Or should i just forget about her altogether?

What do ya think?
And thanks for the replies.

P.S. of course i went over with a mate, i was hardly going to go over to France for three days on my own was i?

Chinafoot

Really_confused wrote:

So anyway, im seeing someone since i came back but before we go to sleep at night i find myself thinking of her and sort of imagining her in bed with me instead of my gf. Never think of her during sex or anything like that though.

So i reckon im gonna leave her off now anyway. I will go back over to Biarritz but its going to be next June and im just gonna send her a text when im over there letting her know im there. Im not going to text her in the meantime even if she texts me, which i think she will and i will problady send her a card at Christmas or something. Or should i just forget about her altogether?

What do ya think?

Personally think you're being very unfair to your current girlfriend. You may not think about the first girl during sex but you're still focusing on her and even planning to go over to see her next year.....that's very unfair.

No offence mate but it sounds like you've a bit of growing up to do. Let it go and forget about her. And while you're at it, try showing your current girlfriend a bit of respect.

AngryBadger

Gonna be blunt here, both because i'm in that sort of mood, and because you deserve it.

You sir, are an ass.

Why are you dating someone when you freely admit that you thoughts are devoted to someone else? And someone else that you're clearly still holding a candle for.

As far as the girl you met online goes, forget it. She's not interested. You got in touch with her, got all worked into a lather over it, and then went to France and amde a complete tit of yourself. Might she still be interested, who knows, it's possible, but she's not going to come back over to your side of this if you prod her about it. but by all merans proceed to do so, but at least break up with the girl you're currently seeing.

One more thing, the arguments you've just presented sound more like you're trying to convince yourself than any of us.

oulu

He is not the only guy to have one girl but want another, come on you know that yourself,What is he suppose to do stay in every night emailing someone who has the better of him, the one holding all the cards by the sound of it. He still need to have sex and whatever else one gets from having a partner. Question for OP why could you not go somewhere for 3 days on your own, people travel the world for years on their own,This she found quite immature I think. So if you feel like this girl is the one for you then dont wait till next year just do it. But this time do it properly,

AngryBadger wrote:

Gonna be blunt here, both because i'm in that sort of mood, and because you deserve it.

You sir, are an ass.

Why are you dating someone when you freely admit that you thoughts are devoted to someone else? And someone else that you're clearly still holding a candle for.

As far as the girl you met online goes, forget it. She's not interested. You got in touch with her, got all worked into a lather over it, and then went to France and amde a complete tit of yourself. Might she still be interested, who knows, it's possible, but she's not going to come back over to your side of this if you prod her about it. but by all merans proceed to do so, but at least break up with the girl you're currently seeing.

One more thing, the arguments you've just presented sound more like you're trying to convince yourself than any of us.

AngryBadger

oulu wrote:

He is not the only guy to have one girl but want another, come on you know that yourself,What is he suppose to do stay in every night emailing someone who has the better of him, the one holding all the cards by the sound of it.

No. He's supposed to grow a pair and get over it.

BaZmO*

Really_confused wrote:

So i reckon im gonna leave her off now anyway. I will go back over to Biarritz but its going to be next June and im just gonna send her a text when im over there letting her know im there. Im not going to text her in the meantime even if she texts me, which i think she will and i will problady send her a card at Christmas or something. Or should i just forget about her altogether?

Ah c'mon, are you being serious? You're not gonna reply to any of her texts for the next year but in a years time you're gonna head over to Biarritz and then text her to tell her that you're there?? :rolleyes:
So what do you expect her to do then? Go running to you and then start a realtionship on the back of being ignored by you for a year? Get a grip mate!

The more you post in this thread the more you come across a bit of a kid, nothing wrong with though, you're just young. By the sounds of it you've fancied yourself as being a bit of a player but the first time you've met someone that you really liked you dealt with it completely árse about face and then ended up getting played yourself!

I bet if she had of fawned all over like you say most girls do, (have to take your word on that), you would of just treated her like all the others.

If you treat people like sh1t you need to be able to deal with it when the roles are reversed.

oulu

The OP fancy's himself as a player but in reality I dont think as player would be on a agony Aunt site do you looking for advice,Be honest you are a sucker like most of us ,

LegacyUser

Oulu you are quite right i am just a sucker like everyone else. Dont really mind you saying that because at least i know now that i can actually all in love. Was sort of beinning to wonder.

Most of you are telling me to forget about her and move on. There is however, no way i can do that. There is no way im going to just forget about her and let her completly disappear out of my life without even giving it at least one more try. Imagine in 5 years id be thinking, 'i wonder what ever happened her, i wonder what if i had gone back over that time'. There is no way i could accept defeat like that. Plus in 23 years she was pretty much the first girl ive ever felt like that about so i have to chase it.

I havent emailed her back and im not going to. At least this way she doesnt know the turmoil im in. Maybe its a stupid idea and i should forget about her, maybe i should wait until next summer. I might send her a Christmas card and ask her to ring me Christmas day and see if she does. Im definately not going to contact her while im in this mindframe. Ive gotta get over her first but its difficult. Can anybody give me something positive? I just dont know...

Femelade

Really_confused wrote:

Normally if a girl turned off her phone on me like that id leave it about a week to txt her by which time she would have come running back to me anyway.

I think this is where you went wrong....having an attitude like that wount get you anywhere, expecting her to "come running back to you"...??? You thought she was as mad about you as you were about her....and she wasn't....big deal. Get over it, get over her, she is not intesested in you.
I pity your girlfriend tbh.

Untense

Really_confused wrote:

Can anybody give me something positive? I just dont know...

Positive: You will get over it.

Reality: She's not in to you.

craichoe

He sounds like a total tulip,

A player that wipes his hands on someones back after coming from the toilet, this just says it all, definetly some growing up to do and then getting upset like that over someone, jesus ......... total .........tulip ....

Chinafoot

Really_confused wrote:

There is no way i could accept defeat like that.

This one line just sums up your whole attitude. You can't handle the fact that she doesn't want you. You can't accept that there is a girl out there that won't fawn all over you, give you compliments, chase after you and basically stroke your ego. Sounds like the player has been played.

Karma's a bitch, eh?

Mezcita

Gah! The horror! She's not interested. If she was she would have met you in the flesh months before you actually did. However, like everyone, she likes the attention and therefore likes stringing you along like some type of puppy.

Life's too short to be counting the days until next year when you can have another crack at her. Move on.

Metacortex

Break up with your girlfriend, you obviously have no respect for her.
Move on, this other girl clearly isn't interested and to be honest, you sound like you have alot of growing up to do.

Im not going to text her in the meantime even if she texts me

So you're not going to reply to her if she does text you but you're still going to go back to Biarritz next Summer and text her while you're there.
Read what you posted there again and get a grip.

el tel

Really_confused, you are really confused.

If you were a wealthy chick living in France in the apartment blocks you owned and there was some Irish dude you had initially met on the internet, slagged off a lot, eventually met up with and then he asked permission to kiss you and from that moment on you tried to give him the brush off. Right? Now this chappie might just be planning on showing up randomly next summer in your town and sending you a take-it-or-leave it text (presuming you hadn't changed your number by then). SO, what would you think?

"What a Dime bar" is what you'd be thinking.