Q&A with the Gnome

takola

I would be awestruck in your presense but.. Well, you're miles away! :rolleyes:

What was the actual name of the USS Enterprise (NCC 1701-A) before it was named Enterprise?

The Gnome

takola wrote:

I would be awestruck in your presense but.. Well, you're miles away! :rolleyes:

What was the actual name of the USS Enterprise (NCC 1701-A) before it was named Enterprise?

It was the Yorktown as far as I recall.

Lust4Life

Who would be triumphant in such a battle...

Captain James Kirk Vs Jean Luc Piccard???

takola

Ooh Ooh! What's the name of the awful tune playing in background of picture loan advert??

The Gnome

Lust4Life wrote:

Who would be triumphant in such a battle...

Captain James Kirk Vs Jean Luc Piccard???

Neither, Janeway would come along and ruin everything.

takola wrote:

Ooh Ooh! What's the name of the awful tune playing in background of picture loan advert??

I'm afraid I've neve seen that particular advert, from your question I hopefully never will.

takola

So you don't have all the answers! I've been mislead

The Gnome

takola wrote:

So you don't have all the answers! I've been mislead

I never said I did. You mearly assumed so and as we all know assumption is the death of goats.

takola

Just as well i'm not a goat then isn't it?

Ah no, I'll stop with the stoopid questions now..

who's better.. Marvin or c3po?

The Gnome

takola wrote:

Just as well i'm not a goat then isn't it?

Ah no, I'll stop with the stoopid questions now..

who's better.. Marvin or c3po?

Indeed is is however when you made the assumption a goat died.

Marvin is clearly superior, I have little time for C3PO. 8T88 now...

Scraggs

Will I pass my repeats?

Doomspell

why don't people come on (to Boards) at odd times?

whos better Johnny Depp or Orlando Bloom (be very careful with this answer)

Jules

ah all is well in the world, welcome back wise and wonderful gnome!

in a battle of wits who would win, You or Amp?

The Gnome

Scraggs wrote:

Will I pass my repeats?

It depends on what you are willing to do my dearest Scraggling...

Doomspell wrote:

why don't people come on (to Boards) at odd times?

whos better Johnny Depp or Orlando Bloom (be very careful with this answer)?

Well it would seem that you have answered the first question yourself. People don't come on at odd times because it's an odd time to come on.

Well now whereas Mr. Bloom is merely pleasing on the eye, Mr. Depp can act, is a charming person AND is pleasing on the eye. Also Orlando has a bad back so he wouldn't be up for some of the more kinkier positions you no doubtedly have in mind.

jules80 wrote:

in a battle of wits who would win, You or Amp?

Neither, Janeway would appear and ruin everything. Either that or the instant the battle began the universe would cease to exist out of sheer horror.

Jules

dam janeway she always gets in the way!!!!! why could she not of been taken by the borg!!!

The Gnome

jules80 wrote:

dam janeway she always gets in the way!!!!! why could she not of been taken by the borg!!!

Indeed she does, as does Commander "Chuckles" Chakotay. She was taken by the Borg and though it may have seemed to escape there is far darker more hidden truth to this 'episode' of her life...

What actually occured was that she was so crap they got rid of her and staged a giant fiasco to make it seem as though they were crippled just so she would never come back.

spacecoyote

Did Kirk ever get knocked back by an alien chick who fancied some Spock-love instead?

Lust4Life

Are you a good dancer? Can you Polka????

The Gnome

spacecoyote wrote:

Did Kirk ever get knocked back by an alien chick who fancied some Spock-love instead?

Indeed he did, take for example Jadzia Dax and her penchant for the pointed ear.

Lust4Life wrote:

Are you a good dancer? Can you Polka?????

Indeed I am, quite light on my feet if I do say so myself. What sort of fey creature would I be if I couldn't Polka!

Jules

as a gnome you are wise in the ways of the world, what do you do of a friday or saturday evening for light hearted entertainment??

spacecoyote

why does Fred want to kill me?

Is there anything I can do to prevent this?

Doomspell

Why can't so called 'imaginary' people see other 'imaginary' people.

Why did I get hazel eyes when my sisters got blue eyes? Not that I want blue eyes, I like mine

Sofaspud

Why won't you hug me?

Matt Holck

because you don'ty know how to share.

You can't you justify your actions?

Jules

spacecoyote wrote:

why does Fred want to kill me?

Is there anything I can do to prevent this?

gnome doesnt need to answer this, fred doesnt want to kill you, just maybe hurt a small bit, and why.. ah the eternal question.. simple answer... why not!!!!!

Jules

why does fred make me say mean things to people and how can i stop him.... is it the brain parasites?

Lust4Life

Will there ever be a sequel to Napoleon Dynamite???

Matt Holck

Will there be a prequal to Born Free?

The Gnome

jules80 wrote:

as a gnome you are wise in the ways of the world, what do you do of a friday or saturday evening for light hearted entertainment??

Activities considered illegal but partaken by many. Unless I have none left, in which case my evening is spent acquiring more.

spacecoyote wrote:

why does Fred want to kill me?

Is there anything I can do to prevent this?

It is human nature ot want to kill, an insatiable bloodlust to snuff out the brief candle of others. To prevent it? Kill him first, naturally. If it is to come to this then I place a bet of 50 Quatloos on the most inebriated of you.

Doomspell wrote:

Why can't so called 'imaginary' people see other 'imaginary' people.

Why did I get hazel eyes when my sisters got blue eyes? Not that I want blue eyes, I like mine

To answer your first quandry I would have to go into a detailed explaination of quantum physics which I simply don't have room for here. So in short it's magic.

Your sister got blue eyes due her genetic makeup she has two recessive genes to determine eye colour whereas you most likely have two dominant. Genes are complex and fickle creature prones to complication and the love to break Mendel's laws. Either that or shes your half sister..... or your adopted.

Sofaspud wrote:

Why won't you hug me?

Well owing to the fact we have never met physically, I've found it rather difficult to hug you. Some might say impossible.

Matt Holck wrote:

You can't you justify your actions?

Matt, I believe it may be time to cut back on the heroin

jules80 wrote:

why does fred make me say mean things to people and how can i stop him.... is it the brain parasites?

It most likely is the parasites that are influencing your behaviour, most likely planted there by Fred. Again killing Fred seems to be the solution here, may I suggest you use an elaborate plan involving auto-erotic asphxiation?

Lust4Life wrote:

Will there ever be a sequel to Napoleon Dynamite???

Ah wouldn't it be grand. I fear not, if there were however could it be as good? Alas never.

Matt Holck wrote:

Will there be a prequal to Born Free?

Seriously my friend, less heroin.

Dg101

Have you any advice for those of us who may wish to live our lives in accordance with the wisdom of the gnome? How can we become more gnomelike?

*starts by cutting down on his heroin*


*misses the spiders coming out of the walls*

Jules

what dont you know?

The Gnome

Dg101 wrote:

Have you any advice for those of us who may wish to live our lives in accordance with the wisdom of the gnome? How can we become more gnomelike?

Interesting questions, well to start with I’ll give you a few pointers. These are of course not definitive but you’ll get a little closer to the Gnome way of life.

You'll need to develop a taste for the finer things in life such as delectable cheeses, fine wines, vintage whiskeys, exotic spices etc. If nothing else this will rid the body of the artificial chemicals present in modern victuals.

I would urge you to read as much as possible, read everything you can even if you don’t care for the subject matter, it will enrich you none the less.

Learn about nature and seek out the crafts of old. Nothing is more rewarding than creating fire by hand or crafting a bow and fletching arrows. But not forget the modern world; it is easy to get lost in the old ways.

Develop the imagination, write nonsense. Create worlds, things and people never seen before.

Relax with a nice ‘herbal’ cigarette.

Try whichever of these things suits you; some of the Gnomish ways are not for others. It is up to you to decide.

jules80 wrote:

what dont you know?

A saying here, a snippet there. Too much to list, too little to matter.

Jules

is spacecoyote a ladies man??

The Gnome

jules80 wrote:

is spacecoyote a ladies man??

With a dashing, daring and slightly menacing name like spacecoyote I should hope so.

gallagc8

where is the love

The Gnome

gallagc8 wrote:

where is the love

I have it all.

Dg101

Can we have some of the love then? Please?

The Gnome

Of course, it's free take it all. It's quite the burden at times.

Dg101

Yay!

*Takes exactly half of the love, leaving The Gnome with a healthy amount*

*Rolls around in the love*

All hail The Gnome! He brings us love! And wisdom!

spacecoyote

how old is the oldest thing that was ever old?

The Gnome

spacecoyote wrote:

how old is the oldest thing that was ever old?

There are things in this world that are ageless, older than life itself. Consequently their exact age can and never will be known. Beyond our sphere lie thing ilder still, they lie dormant awaiting the touch of the living.

Lone Wolf

Why hasn't your egg hatched yet, when your sig says it will hatch on the 1st of August?

The Gnome

Lone Wolf wrote:

Why hasn't your egg hatched yet, when your sig says it will hatch on the 1st of August?

It has, perhaps you should refresh your cache.

spacecoyote

praytell dear gnome, how do we carry out said cache-refreshing, as i cannot see a hatched egg either?

Rhyme

spacecoyote wrote:

praytell dear gnome, how do we carry out said cache-refreshing, as i cannot see a hatched egg either?

Presseth thine ctrl+F5 buttons in tandem... th'creature in Gnomes belong'n is marvellous and shin'y

The Gnome

Rhyme wrote:

Presseth thine ctrl+F5 buttons in tandem... th'creature in Gnomes belong'n is marvellous and shin'y

He speaks the truth, Cetarl and Effive together will do.

spacecoyote

thank you monsieur le rhyme.

So, what would type of species has hatched from said egg?

The Gnome

spacecoyote wrote:

thank you monsieur le rhyme.

So, what would type of species has hatched from said egg?

It is a Slithy Tove, they enjoy gimbling and gyring.

Lone Wolf

Thank you wise gnome and most helpful rhyme I can see the beautiful beast now

spacecoyote

When is door not a door?

The Gnome

spacecoyote wrote:

When is door not a door?

Naughty spacecoyote, when it's ajar.