Q&A with the Gnome

The Gnome

Doomspell wrote:

Why is everyone voting for Ozzy?

He's a communist.

Sofaspud

How are you feeling today?

The Gnome

Sofaspud wrote:

How are you feeling today?

Quite splendid, thank you for asking Sofa.

Tori

Why does false tan smell like curry powder and how can one mask the still very distinctive smell after showering?

Lust4Life

How can Spacecoyote be gifted with both a sweet face AND a fine tush???? Ah, the other male boardsies must be so envious!

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2054892994&page=24

L4L

Matt Holck

yes

oddly bulboues

spacecoyote

Lust4Life wrote:

How can Spacecoyote be gifted with both a sweet face AND a fine tush???? Ah, the other male boardsies must be so envious!

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2054892994&page=24

L4L

Ah, so you saw my face before i pulled that one to shroud myself in mystery. Has anyone noted that there is another SC masquerading in there too (he may be around longer but we all know who the real SC is.

Thank you for the compliments Lusty! So wise gnome, how should i repay L4L's kind words?

Jules

to answer your question wise gnome, yes... yes i do! but am very select in which rooms i choose to visit!

now getting back to our last little exchange, do you prefere chocolate or strawberries?

The Gnome

Tori wrote:

Why does false tan smell like curry powder and how can one mask the still very distinctive smell after showering?

Most likely the particular brand you are using contains tumeric, a spice used in many Indian dishes, which is also a powerful dye. As for the smell perhaps you could Febreeze yourself. Failing this, an upgrade to a fancier tanning solution may be in order.

Lust4Life wrote:

How can Spacecoyote be gifted with both a sweet face AND a fine tush????

He is obviously of a fine breeding stock or the result of genetic manipulation. Either way he is a fine specimen.

Matt Holck wrote:

yes

oddly bulboues

It appears you haven't been heeding my advice Matt. Perhaps it's time you had a quick glass of port and a quick lie down. I'll wake you when you're needed.

spacecoyote wrote:

Has anyone noted that there is another SC masquerading in there too.

So wise gnome, how should i repay L4L's kind words?

Indeed, a doppelganger, imposter and perhaps even traitor. Fear not, there's only one astronomically based Canis latrans for me.

As to you question, I'll refer you to either post #230 or #248 (of this thread), depending on your mood and tastes.

jules80 wrote:

to answer your question wise gnome, yes... yes i do! but am very select in which rooms i choose to visit!

now getting back to our last little exchange, do you prefere chocolate or strawberries?

That is spendid to hear, there is fine a line between harlot and temptress.

I prefer the strawberry, however chocolate is always good for a change as long as strawberries come with it.

Jules

ah the age old chocolate covered strawberry.. a must in the world of temptation.. among other things such as candle light, champange, soft music and... can you finish that sentence please wise gnome, i am slightly stumped.

The Gnome

jules80 wrote:

ah the age old chocolate covered strawberry.. a must in the world of temptation.. among other things such as candle light, champange, soft music and... can you finish that sentence please wise gnome, i am slightly stumped.

A bed strewn with the rarest rose petals.

Shall that suffice?

Jules

are all gnomes as romantic.. and could a gnome ever come to love a human??

The Gnome

jules80 wrote:

are all gnomes as romantic.. and could a gnome ever come to love a human??

Well most Gnomes are known for their boundless charm, romance is merely a natural component of this.

As for a Gnome loving a human... emotionally? Yes. Physically? Oh yes.

Jules

plenty to think about... do you gnomes have star signs if so what are you and do you believe in them?

if you could be any animal what would you be?

The Gnome

jules80 wrote:

plenty to think about... do you gnomes have star signs if so what are you and do you believe in them?

if you could be any animal what would you be?

Gnomes do have star signs or birsth sign as we call them, the system is different though it was adapted by the Celts during our more properous times when we freely walked the lands.

I have found a loose approximation of our system here. By our ways I am a Crane by yours Aquarius.

If I were to an animal, I would be a Raven.

Jules

... never more!

i would be a goose!!!

what is the one question you feared being asked?

Dg101

Dear Gnome, I have sliced off my legs below the knees in order to become more gnomelike in stature, yet appear to be leaking large quantities of red fluid. Please advise on the correct procedure for correcting such leakage. I am unsure whether I am still under warranty.

The Gnome

jules80 wrote:

... never more!

i would be a goose!!!

what is the one question you feared being asked?

Ah the noble Goose! And as silly as, no doubt.

Such a question does not exist. One should never fear question nor their answers.

Jules

yes silly but in a purely girl, fun way!!!

is there anything you are afraid of?

The Gnome

jules80 wrote:

yes silly but in a purely girl, fun way!!!

is there anything you are afraid of?

War, the death of a loved one, being attacked by a swarm of starlings. Gnome fears are no different than human ones.

Jules

do gnomes have types as in the opposite sex, and what would yours be???

The Gnome

jules80 wrote:

do gnomes have types as in the opposite sex, and what would yours be???

Gnomes do indeed have types as broad and varied as the satrs in the sky. Personally I enjoy intelligent, creative and naughty women. Then again who doesn't?

Jules

creative and naughty combined can be trouble or extremely interesting!!!!!

would you dare to post on the show us your assets thread, would be interesting to see!!!!

Lust4Life

Posted by Dg101
Dear Gnome, I have sliced off my legs below the knees in order to become more gnomelike in stature, yet appear to be leaking large quantities of red fluid. Please advise on the correct procedure for correcting such leakage. I am unsure whether I am still under warranty.

Oh, Love, you are INDEED TCN material!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dg101

Then...*groans a little*... does this mean the gnome will tell me how to make it stop? *slumps over his computer, whimpering*

The Gnome

Dg101 wrote:

Dear Gnome, I have sliced off my legs below the knees in order to become more gnomelike in stature, yet appear to be leaking large quantities of red fluid. Please advise on the correct procedure for correcting such leakage. I am unsure whether I am still under warranty.

Then...*groans a little*... does this mean the gnome will tell me how to make it stop? *slumps over his computer, whimpering*

My most humble apologies DG, I missed your post. In all likelyhood you are dead by now however if this is not the case then try the following:

First find the discarded stumps and harvest the feet, the rest can be disposed of or sold. Now procede to glue the feet to the stumps and presto slightly more gnomelike. I would however suggest consulting me before takeing anymore steps to emulate me.

Lust4Life

Gnome, I'm surprised you did not take the stance of a High School Football Coach and just tell our new Gnomesque Lad to "Just Walk It Off!":p

Dg101

*Hauls himself around the room using his hands, trying to find his legs*

Thanks Gnome, I just felt the process of Gnomification was taking too long.

*Glues feet to bleeding stumps*

Well, if I wasn't sure about being under warranty before, this has probably voided it.

Jules

pats dg on back for his total commintment to being more like the wise and wonderful gnome, but fears that that state of nirvana... hopefully in using that word in the right way... is very difficult to reach on only with years of complete and utter dedication, just has roy castle did, will you reach the truest heights of gnomedom!!!!

Doomspell

Why is jules still blabbering

Jules

oh thanks doom!!!

Doomspell

doom on you, doom on you (chant from ice-age)

Jules

why is doom being mean to me!!!!

Doomspell

Why is jules perverted? Oh and can you teach her to read written sarcassim

Jules

maybe take a lession your self sweetie!!

Lust4Life

Posted by the Gnome:
Personally I enjoy intelligent, creative and naughty women.

Wow, Gnome! Then that puts you in a bit of a quandry!
Who's lap shall you sit on rather than sitting on another egg??????

BTW, I enjoy the company of Intelligent, creative and naughty men! That's why I love TCN!

boneless

Naughty, creative and intelligent men and women scare me....

Jules

personally i enjoy the company of creative short naughty and intelligent men!!!! i miss the gnome

wonder if he is a little hottie of a gnome?

Doomspell

jules he posted his bum in the assettes thread

Jules

i know! im just being nice!!!! gees doom!

Doomspell

And how is everyone feeling this b-e-a-utilful morning:D

Jules

crap and you?

The Gnome

I have returned and what do I find? My den has decended into a nest of idle chatter.

Well I will have no more of it, I have grown weary of the inane and inept banter some of you seem to deem suitable for such a place as this and from here on I shall not be answering every quandry that comes my way. I am a busy Gnome and I will only have time for those with suitable respect.

I may have been harsh with the above comments but I feel it neccessary to restore the chaotic and bewildering order I had established til not long ago.

For now, that is all.

Adieu.

Doomspell

I see that you are wise AND wonderful. Tell me gnome, how do you keep your brilliance from going to your head

Matt Holck

should I see The Ant Bully movie?

The Gnome

Doomspell wrote:

I see that you are wise AND wonderful. Tell me gnome, how do you keep your brilliance from going to your head

Well now haven't we a case of the grumps? The key to a level head is patience but not to a fault.

Matt Holck wrote:

should I see The Ant Bully movie?

Good to see your back with us Matt, I should say yes you should but the real question is whether or not the film will be as good as A Bugs Life or as bad as Antz. Seeing as Woody Allen is not involved I am hopeful that it may be quite good, then again....

Doomspell

Why am I upsessed with Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp)?

spacecoyote

Do gnomes marry & if they do can they have numerous wives?

boneless

Why do Gnomes keep breaking into my kitchen to do unsanitary things in my chip pan?

Jules

dear wise and wonderful gnome, firsty let me apologise for the idle banter, but we were all waiting around eager for your return....

just a very simple question, what annoys you the most about people?