Silly Damn Woman, I'm Crazy About Her

Volvoboy

I've known this girl for a while know since i was in 4th year now out of school a year now and she has a bin lid,,(kid) anywho she broke up with the da, (abusive wanker), now she has another fella again abusive wanker, i was talking to her friend last nite in barcode and was asking about her and she said that she was just after someone to love and be close with, ive always had an interest in her initally because she dressed skimpy but as i got to know her she is sound and we always have a laugh together, should i stick my oar in and say you deserive better and here it is or should i just keep quiet and see her get hurt??

advice please.

-VB-

delly

I'd say give it a go, but think long and hard about it first, she has a kid and I feel it would be unfair to mess her around after a few months if you felt it wasn't the kind of relationship you were after.

Ruu_Old

Your intentions are good OP but the relationship they have is none of your business even if he is being abusive. Have a chat with her maybe but be careful that she will keep it to herself and not go telling her man.

Volvoboy

yea i'm hmmmmmming and hawwwwwwing about it, the 'daddy' is not with her anymore hence not being abiusive towards her only when they we're together, now she has a new fella again 'abusive', the friend of her i was talking to says shes lonely and this 'clowded her judgemnt'

LadyJ

OP,it's hard to know what the right thing to do is.

On the one hand,you could go out with her,whisk her away from the abusive relationship and be her hero. And because she'll be in a loving relationship she'll be happy etc.

BUT

On the other hand,this could end up as an extremely high maintanance relationship. I mean,she's probably emotionally scarred from being in one abusive relationship after another,which will mean you will have to be very careful with her and she might use you as an emotional crutch.

Also,you'll be taking on fatherly responsibilities.

All I mean is,it'd be great to help her get away from the current abuse she's involved in,but let her heal before you make a move. Otherwise it could turn into your worst nightmare and it would be too hard to get out of it because you'd feel so guilty.

This woman has clearly had a lot to deal with,from a young age. Don't make life more complicated for her.

Know what you are getting into before you make a move. What might just be a short-term plan for you,will probably be a much bigger deal to her.

Black Swan

Two abusive relationships in a row? There is some literature on women who continue to end up in abusive relationships. She may or may not be what they are researching. You might want to check it out before deciding to pursue her?

AngryBadger

I want to say you should go for it consequences be damned.

But I'm compelled to point out that there's an undeniable pattern to her relationships developing. Clearly she has problems that need to be addressed beofre she launches into a serious situations. it sounds like she's going from bad relationship to bad relationship, until she deals with whatever's driving this you could well be setting yourself up for heartbreak by making a move.

justhim

Its a difficult one. As much as everybody would love to do the old "damn the consequences" and go for it, its never that easy. Even ignoring the fact that she has a kids, she is in a relationship at the moment. I'd say talk to her, you dont need to give her the "him or me" just talk, be there for her and let her know that your interested.

Volvoboy

thanks for all the advice lads and lassies, i think i'll just tell her i'm there for her and be be supportive.

Thanks again

-VB-

Gone West

youre what, 19 or 20?
Are you sure youre ready (and mature enough) to handle a kid?
You called him/her a "bin lid"
Tbh thats enough for me...

Volvoboy

tbh the kid doesnt really bother me, i'd give her a hand where needed but i'm not going to be uncle jack or daddy jack to the kid, nor would she expect me/want me to act like a father to the child.

19 btw

-VB-

Tazzle

You're too young for anything that serious, move on.

Volvoboy

Right passed her in a taxi on sat nite i seen her and did'nt think she seen me anyway, i got a text a minuite after saying ''Hey we just passed you by, were on the way to the station house'', right i thought noting to be doing so i said i'd meet her in a half an hour, walked in and was greeted with a hug, she has since broken up with her other b/f (not the dad), and all going grand laughing and joking, found another thing in common with her, and all going grand and then she was talking to her mate, saying how men are such cheating bastards etc etc,, and saying how she would like to meet someone who is good to her, I really wanted to say somthing to her about me and her doing somthing together, no sooner had i thought about saying somthing a fella started to chat her up, i stood by and chatted with her mate. then we went to barcode, and on the way back she was texting the dad saying if he was around for a shag?!?!!?!???!


What to do?


-VB-

chump

classy burd

Move on for jaysus sake!

Volvoboy

belevie me when i say i'd like to but the heart rules the head it also rules the little head too.:)



-VB-

constitutionus

chump wrote:

classy burd

Move on for jaysus sake!

squared! i understand the desire to rescue her but the girls a head case. if she was just having a string of bad luck i'd understand but she just seems attracted to the prick crowd. if you hook up with her odds are she'll do the dirt on you with her kids father cause "your too nice"

move on, there few and far between but there are some sane ones out there (well, ok more stable. at least now you can hook up with a polish bird )

Volvoboy

yea, yis are right, but i'm sure ya know what its like you want somthing you know that is bad for ya but you still want it. Me butter and bread is wreaked!! I think i'm just beating a dead horse now:(



-VB-

Sleepy

You're firmly in the 'friend zone'. I had a similar experience with a girl when I was around your age and lets just say constitutionus pretty much has the nail hit on the head. Luckily for me, I wasn't that into her and she ended it just before I was going to.

wyndham

Agree with Constitutionus here. You're pi$$ing into the wind even if you do get it together with her.