Lost my cool

MojoMaker

Crucifix wrote:

well who knows what your girlfriend would've prefered, but I'd reckon a snappy comeback, or at least a short, sweet "fuck off" would've been the best course of action.

Folks without the ability to spring snappy comebacks resort to getting physical. You see it a lot among the lower orders, and oddly enough, moreso in rural quarters.

A cutting one-liner would have sorted the protagonist out pretty smartly. Wading in with fists is only likely to impress a female of the above persuasion - if that's his cup of tea, and indeed her inclination (and one shouldn't forget the choice of attire may well already indicate this) perhaps the OP has indeed bagged a good match in which case this thread is merely an exercise in justification.

LegacyUser

If she really is a "classy bird" I don't blame her for being angry. No lady with class wants her boyfriend engaging in ungentlemanly arguments with the lower orders. Next time I recommend you don't let your base drives overcome your higher rational precepts and refrain from "getting stuck in" intoxicated baffoons.

Dragan

MojoMaker wrote:

You see it a lot among the lower orders, and oddly enough, moreso in rural quarters.

Just to go off topic for a second ( apologies to all ) one of the funniest, and most arrogant things i have read on boards.ie in some time.

mossieh

MojoMaker wrote:

A cutting one-liner would have sorted the protagonist out pretty smartly.

:rolleyes: Go get him, Niles...

Nevyn

Unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

Dragan

Guys,

lets be honest here, while in the movies a clever one liner will end up winning the day, reducing the bad guy to a quivering mess and winning the heart of your fair lady in real life it doesn't work like that.

If you want to say anything, you have to be willing to do everything.

If you react, then you need to be willing to deal with that situation escalating, and you need to be willing to do what it takes to come out of that situation, whatever level it may reach.

So, let run through it then...

1) he calls girlfriend a whore
2) You reply "I assume you'd have an experienced eye, if i had a face like yours i'd need to pay for sex too."
3) He tells you to fu*k yourself and insults your ma.....

now what? slag him back, hit him? How far are you willing to take it, how much danger are you willing to put yourself's in and the people with you?

Believe me, i have seen many a young bravo getting his hiding, be he in the right or the wrong, because he didn't know when to shut his mouth.

And finally, if you do throw that punch, or make that comment that escalates the confrontation to a physical level what makes you think you will win?

Leave the ego at the door boys.

herbieflowers

Isn't a reaction the kind of response these guys want? Why give them the satisfaction of shouting/arguing with them? Surely it would just be better to walk away?

mossieh

herbieflowers wrote:

Isn't a reaction the kind of response these guys want? Why give them the satisfaction of shouting/arguing with them? Surely it would just be better to walk away?

You're dead right Herbie, it would be better just to walk away. It takes a bigger man to ignore the abuse than to react to it. I don't think anybody who was even half normal would disagree with you.

It rarely happens like that though does it?
Especially after a few pints...the fuse gets shorter and the logic goes out the window (particularly among us members of the lower orders)(from the country:) ).

Also, Dragan's point was well made...the witty comebacks are more likely to escalate it than to end it.

Oriel

Look, this thread has been thrown into too much chaos, due to the OP's terrible grammar and immature attitude. This also makes me think that his girlfriend isn't as "classy" as he might be making out.
So you had an argument with a stranger. Big deal. I didn't go to fists, so what is your girlfriend complaining about, and more importantly, why the hell are you asking us about it?

P.S. Beruthiel, I think RE*AC*TOR had every right to say that, in #2.

LadyJ

sinecurea wrote:

I didn't go to fists, so what is your girlfriend complaining about, and more importantly, why the hell are you asking us about it?

It didn't "go to fists".

However, OP physically attacked the guy as far as I can make out.

Well he says he didn't punch him but there was some contact made.

And anyway,it makes no difference whether he grabbed the guy by the scruff of his neck or floored him. The point is he should have walked away.

noeleenred

The OP was looking out for his girlfriend and stood up for her. He didnt know how she'd react. I think it was nice him doing something than just standing there letting the guy insult his girlfriend.
Anyhow the OP knows in future how to handle it as your girlfriend has said to you, in future just leave it be, she can look after herself.

LegacyUser

There are other ways to stand up for your girlfriend - other than fisticuffs ...

event

MojoMaker wrote:

Wading in with fists is only likely to impress a female of the above persuasion - if that's his cup of tea, and indeed her inclination (and one shouldn't forget the choice of attire may well already indicate this) perhaps the OP has indeed bagged a good match in which case this thread is merely an exercise in justification.

that is thee most arrogant post iv read here in a long while?

her choice of attire may well indicate this?

what exactly do you mean by that?

OP, i can understand where you are coming from, id feel the exact same way. perhaps if you had said something back, he would have said something else, so what do you do then?
trade insults like 5 year olds?

Miguel_Sanchez

event wrote:

perhaps if you had said something back, he would have said something else, so what do you do then?
trade insults like 5 year olds?

Much better to wade in and commit assault like a 25 yr old.

The key word in your post is 'perhaps'. Perhaps he might have - however, perhaps he might not have.

Peyton Manning

A guy slapped my girlfriends arse at Oxegen as we walked past. I punched him and he did nothing. I feel good

Tony255

sinecurea wrote:

So you had an argument with a stranger. Big deal. I didn't go to fists, so what is your girlfriend complaining about, and more importantly, why the hell are you asking us about it?

People like you drive me insane if this is your attitude to this forum then why visit this place, it is all about personal issues, this was a personal issue for me.
You talk about others being immature and then you post utter crap like this that is of no help to anyone, why waste your obviously valuable time on this forum.


And guys just to reitterate there was no physical contact at all, just words exchanged but thanks for the helpful posts it seems like there a big split between the way others would have reacted, hopefully i will never again have to think about it.

Toolbag

Clearly this is the wrong website to be discussing an issue like this because the mods can't make a judgement call to allow the precious charter to be put aside even though the OPs question asks (quite reasonably) about a violent response.

gypsygirl

toomevara wrote:

While as a red blooded male I can sympathise wholeheartedly with your reaction, i would have to say, that in the cold light of day and when the blood has cooled, you'll probably come to realise yourself that your reaction was the wrong one.

This individual was abviously one of ....'ahem' shall we say limited intellectual resources and severly restricted world view....you should not descend to his level and engage with him on his neanderthal terms..you're quite obviously better than that.Also once the genie of violence is unleashed from the bottle you really never know where things are going to end up.....also something I have learned from bitter experience is that meeting anger and foolishness with more of the same rarely produces results...

Women generally abhor violence, whether it be emotional, verbal or physical and in my experience they're generally right..cultivate the art of the devastating quip as a weapon against this type of ignoramus and remember the insult was not directed at you but your girlfriend, so she should be allowed dictate the tenor of the response.

If she's big enough to take it on the chin and see it for what it was ,i.e a moron at work...why cant you? There is no question of any threat to your masculinity or your girlfriend's perceptions of you as a man....honestly, they really dont think like that. Take it on the chin, eat a little humble pie and your lady will be so delighted with the fantastic renaissance man she's managed to snag that god knows what juicy rewards might float your way!

A man who understands a womans mind; very refreshing and so true. Very well said Toomevara.

lostone

I woulda ended up deckn someone who said that...but thats how i am...i over react usually but cool down real fast...some people get kinda mad and think about it forever...i get it done and move on...your gf will get over it in time...:cool:

Marksie

OK... here is my tuppence worth.

Its unclear how far physicality went..pushing shoving shouts or screams

fact: The guy was an idiot for saying that..was he was with his mates and trying to look big?
Fact: I would be extremely annoyed that someone would do that to my partner.
Fact: the Ops response is unclear but obviously upset his girlfriend. therefore may have been extreme.
Probable fact: If he had waded it it would have escalated... remember the argument outside abracadabra on O'Connell street leaving someoene knifed?

OK: my experience in a bar in plaoise.
Walking through with a partner: some guy just leaned over and whaad in her face. totally childish and immature. She looked shocked. I stepped between the two and said to her are you alright. She just made a cutting comment . We just walked on leaving him there. (But i WAS extremely angry, by controlling it showing that i was there and letting her deal with it it effectively nullified him)

Thus, A) the guy realised she wasnt just a lone female wandering through
by talking to the G/friend she could formulate a response.
c) It took a measure of self control.
D) It did not escalate a situation.
E) I was there for her if anything else happened

people like that are invariably cowards
remember: In the UK for example: there were gangs of "men" who would target couples and abuse the g/friend. If he didn't react they would delight in saying they "gutted" him. If he did they would all wade in. Just be aware of that.

If this situation arises again.... ignore the perpetrator and support your G/f. I think you will find that women can be very good as slicing little toe rags like that off at the knees with a comment.

aidan24326

For me if his girlfriend was being physically threatened/assaulted then a physical response is probably going to be necessary. Thankfully that wouldn't happen too often. Otherwise if it's just the more common verbal nonsense I'd just ignore it and walk away regardless of what was said. Guys who make comments like that are only trying to provoke a reaction and are best treated as though they aren't even there. Show your complete disdain by refusing to acknowledge that they even exist.

LundiMardi

but.... but..... prositutues don't go out naked...

dr.bollocko

Da Bounca wrote:

If it happens again, punch the face off him.

Yeah Im with this guy.
To quote rob Schneider
"You can do it, smash his ****ing face in!!!"
I dunno, its a tough situation, but I dunno, if he knew that that was your gf and hes saying that, **** him, you know? He should get whats coming to him, two black eyes and a couple of broken ribs.
"Sorry? What did u say about my girlfriend?" is the kind of question one should only have to answer whilst spitting up blood through two broken front teeth.

dr.bollocko

Although discretion is the better part of valour, u probably did the best to tell him in no uncertain terms u were unhappy, if he persists or gets physical then thats fair enough, but i guess in this modern worlds full of scumbags and thugs, the violence I reccomended above is only to be considered if u are in fact Joe pesci.
I wish I was Joe Pesci.
Can we start a new thread about me wishing I was Joe Pesci?