He loves me ..he loves me not..

LegacyUser

Hi guys

Going unreg for this one!...This is all very confusing so I'll try and make it simple...I broke up with my boyfriend in Dec last year, we had been 2gether 2 years, we spoke about getting back together but he said he needed time. We had a great relationship and were very much in love but we both needed a break frm each other, anyway we have been 2gether a few times since we broke up and then he said he didn't want to get back 2gether so we took a break frm each other. however in the past few months we'd be going out all the time, texting day and nite and constantly on the phone, we were getting on better then we ever did...then we had a row and I told him to stop leading me on, he said he didn't know what he wanted so I walked away, anyway then he told me friend he still loves me and is afraid if we get back together that it won't work out..she wreckons I should sit down with him again and say why dont we try work it out?..we get on really well and we are still very attracted to each other and we both haven't been with other people since we broke up!..so I'm guessing, do ye think I should say it to him?

Ickle Magoo

dunno wrote:

We had a great relationship and were very much in love but we both needed a break frm each other

This sentence makes no sense to me....if you love someone & have a great relationship then there is nothing to have a break from..

Easiest way to deal with any on/off relationship that you don't know where you stand is to ask....communication is the most important aspect of any relationship....best of luck

bugler

we get on really well and we are still very attracted to each other and we both haven't been with other people since we broke up!..

Says you. Sounds like he's having his cake and eating it.

If he loved you and wasn't interested in anyone else you'd still be going out. So something is up. You can sit him down, and ask him straight out if he wants to get back with you. If he says yes, fair enough. If he says no, or ums and ahs etc, then start getting on with your life.

AngryBadger

Is there some other reason he might not want to get back together? If you're that into each other I don't understand why he'd be hesitating, or why ye even took a break in the first place. Is there an element of having the cake and eating it going on?

Nevyn

Sounds like he wants the fun but none of the work or effort of a 'proper' relationship.

RandomOne

dunno wrote:

he said he didn't know what he wanted so I walked away,

Suggest he doesn't want commitment, but doesn't want to be left without someone(anyone) either. Suggest you repeat the walking away bit, but this time keep walking!

seamus

You said, "I broke up with my boyfriend in Dec last year". Did you initiate the break up? If you were the one who started talking about "needing space" and needing a break, then it's likely that you've seriously hurt him. He could simply be cautious about getting back together in case you decide again that you need your space. Once bitten, twice shy etc.

LegacyUser

I think Thaedydal was right earlier when you said about having fun but not wanting to deal with a "proper ' relationship, when we broke up a few of our friends where getting engagaed and married and stuff and he got a bit freaked out cos everyone was saying "ah you guys are next" although I never said that at all, we are both in our early thirties and for his age he is a bit emotionally immature, it's very hard to get him to talk sometimes. I guess as some of you where saying what I can't understand is why if he says all those things about still loving me and stuff why he is afraid to give it another go, nobody wants to get hurt, maybe he is just afraid to be in a committed relationship?

Millie1

Sounds like a lot of people are having their cake and eating it as someone put it....not just in this case. I'm sure that this is not what OP wants to hear tho, but it sounds like a maybe, but then again maybe not. There could be something else goin on that OP doesn't know about!

Zillah

You need to scare him. I know that sounds terrible but he's clearly treating you like you're gonna be there for him to grab if he ever decides he wants to. Scare the crap out of him; go on a date or two with some other guys, drops hints that there might be someone else.

The instant he realises he might lose you forever he'll quickly decide what he really wants.

Black Swan

dunno wrote:

she wreckons I should sit down with him again and say why dont we try work it out?..we get on really well and we are still very attracted to each other and we both haven't been with other people since we broke up!..so I'm guessing, do ye think I should say it to him?

Good advice by her.

Nevyn

end of the day the only person you have control over is yourself and the only life you can make decisions for is your own.

So what you want for yourslef and what goals, dreams, piorties have you set yourself for the next 5 years ?

What do you Want/need out of or in your life ?

You can not hang your happiness on other people, you have to be happy with yourself and your life and focus on that.

Don't wait arround for him to change or get his act together so you have have the relationship you want with him.

Figure out where you want to do with your life and if he comes back arround be frank with him about what you want and if his plans and outlook are not the same well then they aren't.

Comfort zones and familuarity can keep us in relationship long after they have reached the point where they will not develope futher.

LegacyUser

Ah yeah, I am happy in my own life, with my career and stuff, it's not a case of my entire life's happiness depends on this guy, I just know that I love him very deeply, he was and still is my best friend, and I miss him, and they way we get on now is great, and we're always flirting and stuff...we're gonna go for a drink during the week so I guess I'll see how it goes and take it from there.