New parenting methods

TempestSabre

susiesue wrote:

....Ive gone 3 days with not even a hours sleep, and that included having a stressful job, the house is never clean, the kids always need to be dropped here and there, somedays I can't think, and forget my own name. I am a taxi service a maid, a referee and a nurse. ...

Often feel exactly the same...

Nevyn

We all feel that way at some stage, Daddy's do too but honestly there are time when by default even if the Dad is wonderful Mammy's feel as if they are bearing the brunt of it all.

But it is something we don't talk about, the struggle.
Doen't mean we love our kids one blessed bit less when we are having a horrendus day or week and wish for a time out.

susiesue

In fairness I do sit back and laugh at the madness of it all in the evenings, when I am downing the bottles. I hope to be sane again in a year or too. I am a moaner though, I shouldn't be putting a dampener on other peoples plans, I'm turning fierce cynical. Though here I am on a computer when I am supposed to be mothering them.

Nevyn

Honestly boards was a life line when I was in the thick of it when mine were preschool. The lack of adult converstaion can drive you nuts, and well hurrah for wireless and posting on boards from the kitchen while sorting the washing or cooking the dinner.

Having kids is a lot of physical work for the first few years and at times it gets incredible frustrating at the repitition of work.
But we do it out of love, everyday I think how on earth did my grandmother do it with no tv, no mircowave no washing machine and dishwasher and 10 kids...

Ayla

susiesue wrote:

I admire the mammys who are planning to practise the traditional/alternative practices...but when I read the "supermammy" lists from people (some who have yet know the "pleasure" of children) and I'll think "great another f****ing thing I have'nt done right. Not only am I a scourge to the planet but also a ****ty parent" ... I love my childen dearly and things have evolved like the invention of buggies and disposable nappies to make life handier. Its not the worst thing in the world to make life easier for yourself.

For whatever reason, this thread has continually broken down into the "greenhorns" vs the "experienced," and for the life of me, I can't figure out why. I don't think this was the OP's intention (although he/she hasn't reappeared for a long time, so who knows if their queries have been answered).

But on behalf of the greenhorns...at no time did "we" ever say that our plans or intentions were in any way better than anyone else's. We have never belittled the ideas of buggies, disposables or bottle-feeding. We have not said that their usage has been a "fad" or that parents who partake of them are in any way compromising the care of their children. We understand that each parent on this thread deeply loves their children, and that we all have different ways of taking care of their needs.

So perhaps my point is that I wish folks would quit putting off my preference to use a sling, breastfeed, and use reusable nappies as my inexperience as a parent.

The experienced parents on this thread seem to think I'm disillusioned & naive, but I can assure you I'm not. I know parenting is going to be the toughest thing I could ever do in my life, and no matter what "method" I use, it will be a challenge. But you sterlize bottles & warm up formula, while I pop up my top. You push a buggy and I carry my babe. You buy & dispose of nappies & I do laundry.

So what???? Why is this such a big deal??

The Hill Billy

Would the OP care to let us know if he got the answers he was looking for?

As for the continuance of this thread given its original intent - we are just going around in circles. There's no right or wrong - we're all doing what we can in the way we feel is best or most appropriate in our situations.

/removes subscription to thread

TempestSabre

Ayla wrote:

F....The experienced parents on this thread seem to think I'm disillusioned & naive, ...So what???? Why is this such a big deal??

Actually can you avoid the sweeping generalisations.

Its a discussion forum, you can talk about anything, this is as good as any other topic.

Every baby is different. So from that point of view you start afresh each time. A greenhorn everytime. Well kinda anyway.

Nevyn

Actually this thread was started about the apparent rise in parenting methods and books about parenting.

Certainly the old days (re my lost post in this thread) parents were too busy trying to feed, clothed and feed the children they had and until the age of 2 babys were stuck in the pram/buggy and left at the frount door for a portion of the day.

Life has moved on from then.

We have less children there are more pressures and we are aware that how a child developes sets them put with positives and negatives for the rest of thier life.

The feild of knowledge in any area has over the last 50 years grown at bewildering rate and while there are still some books and notions on how to rear children from the victorian era they were for the most part for those who
had a certain standing in society and had nannys, childrens maids and tutors.
"Children must be seen and not heard" being on of those golden rules.

We also no longer lock children under the stair or switch them or hit them with
a leather belt or are they rapped on the knuckles in school.
Times have changed, how my grandparents 'parented' is different from my parents 'parented' and they are different from how I 'parent'.

With families be smaller over the generations and the delay in having children for most couples and suburbn sprawl, you have the fact that young and new parents can be isolated. This can be even be more so if both parents are working. So if you don't have some one to sit and have tea with and talk about parenting and share you experiences with or differnt ways of trying things then you are going to turn to books and guides and even the internet for this.

At the end of the day how you parent your children depends on your life style, goals, how you were parented and what works best for your children.

Kernel32

Ayla wrote:

The experienced parents on this thread seem to think I'm disillusioned & naive, but I can assure you I'm not. I know parenting is going to be the toughest thing I could ever do in my life, and no matter what "method" I use, it will be a challenge. But you sterlize bottles & warm up formula, while I pop up my top. You push a buggy and I carry my babe. You buy & dispose of nappies & I do laundry.

So what???? Why is this such a big deal??

I am a father of two. My wife breast fed the older one and is breast feeding our second now. I have never sterilized a bottle in my life. My wife uses a sling and we both use the front pack for carrying the baby, I love that front pack thing. We do use a stroller but normally only when the baby is sleeping or ready for sleep. We use disposable nappies, that's simply a choice we made, right or wrong. We have done co-sleeping, we don't do the "cry it out" stuff. Our son is a fantastic little boy who will be 4 in September and our little girl is a very smiley 4 month old.

I wouldn't worry yourself about what anyone else does and just do what you feel is right. We made compromises over time in order to make things more efficient given our lifestyle but we stuck to the core of what we wanted to do. You will also make compromises but stay true to your overall vision, pick your battles and you will be fine.