dating etiquette query

ari

ok so i met this guy last week, friend of a mutual friend. got on great, ended up kissing and swopping numbers. this guy is really nice and also a bit of a hottie. anyway we've been texting for a couple of days, nothing too exciting, fairly pedestrian. my query is; should i suggest a date or wait for him to bring it up. i don't want to come across as aggressive, and on the other end don't want to get locked into this ping pong texting issue either.....

cooperguy

Bite the bullet and suggest one. Just say do you want to meet up sometime. Its always good when the other person asks.

peterk19

Just text him casually saying something like what you up to on (whatever day) and if he says nothing say you wanna meet up for (Insert whatever floats your boat here) always works for me.

miss_gonzo

In my experience, being a little modest and coy pays off. I dont mean to suggest the man always has to make the move, but....well...in the intial stages of dating, you gotta provide a bit of a challenge you know? if it does get to the "ping pong" stage, then def make the move....you dont want things to get stagnant. good luck

arbeitsscheuer

Oh bollócks to that... If you want to see him again, send him a text or give him a call, whatever. Where's the sense in acting "coy" or whatever? It's just dumb.

Chinafoot

Got to agree with seb there. Acting coy and stereotypically girly is pointless. If you want to see him again ask him. If you don't...don't!

Don't be something you're not to try and get him to ask you out.

Ruu_Old

SebtheBum wrote:

Oh bollócks to that... If you want to see him again, send him a text or give him a call, whatever. Where's the sense in acting "coy" or whatever? It's just dumb.

Agreed, ring him and enough of this dilly dallying.:D I'm sure he will love the fact that you are taking the initiative and won't see it as aggressive. Don't leave it up the men, we are a forgetful, lazy sort (some of us).

melekalikimaka

say your going to a said club with friends and equire if he also might be there, thats a good one to use

Strokesfan

People only EVER want what they can't have or what is hard to get - just make sure you don't put yourself out there too soon, he should come after you I think... my 2 cents

Sleepy

If you like someone why would you play games with them?

Just ask him out ffs.

Black Swan

melekalikimaka wrote:

say your going to a said club with friends and equire if he also might be there, thats a good one to use

Might be a good approach.;)

Sleepy

Have to say I'm not a fan of that approach. Basically it's an invite for sex and very little else. If the OP actually likes the guy I'd suggest inviting him out on their own rather than tagging all their friends along...

ari

thanks for all the advice guys. i'd have to say i'm not a fan of the whole club thing cos basically getting hammered/niteclub scene was what happened the first nite we met so i don't want to get into a dating pattern of that.
ahh i dunno what to do...should i text him this eve suggesting something vague? or tmrw suggesting something def for thurs/fri or just ring him?

Nevyn

Why not mention that you will be in town one of the evenings to do a few things and suggest meeting up for coffee ?
That way you are not going to in just to meet with him and if things go well he can tag a long with you and if they don't well you have to go get things done.

The_Conductor

Agree with Sleepy.....
Guys do not get the games that women play.
Being coy will get you nowhere.

Suggest meeting up with the guy for coffee some afternoon/evening- if you are serious about him.

Just remember- guys do not pick up on hints and things- be honest and open and be yourself.

Good luck

theTinker

a few months ago i would of believed being coy would be the way to go but ive noticed now far too many people drift apart and get into stupid messes because of it. i think you should just ask him out but u can make it sound like ur doing sumthing already and he can come along if he wants .
A girl putting herself out too much i find a bit of a turn off, just a little, but been to "far" and i just assume they are not interested. fine line...
if u ask him out now and have fun just dont get into the habit of always being the one to ask him out, being the only one tats "trying" can lead to a bit of resentment.

Beruthiel

miss_gonzo wrote:

you gotta provide a bit of a challenge you know?

Why?
I never, ever got this. It's a crock of sh!t imo. But then again I detest game playing and I blame all those stupid womens mags etc.. for filling silly girls heads with crap that they actually end up believing works.
If you like some one, ask them out for a drink, if they like you, they'll go. Plain and simple.

should i text him this eve suggesting something vague

You should ring him up and ask if he'd like to go out for a drink on Thurs/Fri night, if he's interested, he'll accept and you'll know one way or another.

Fanny Cradock

Strokesfan wrote:

People only EVER want what they can't have or what is hard to get - just make sure you don't put yourself out there too soon, he should come after you I think... my 2 cents

no they dont - that's a generalisation based on your experience and how you opperate.

if you send out confusing signals he wont have a clue what's going on. no games. get to the point. ask him out for a casual drink, and there you go - BOOM!

Kell

What do you want to do?

Figure it out and then just do it. Believe it or not people, there is no etiquette. Its all down to personal choice.

K-

melekalikimaka

Beruthiel wrote:

You should ring him up and ask if he'd like to go out for a drink on Thurs/Fri night, if he's interested, he'll accept and you'll know one way or another.

humm good point, but if he's shy that could put him on the spot, freak him a bit, he sounds shy

Beruthiel

melekalikimaka wrote:

humm good point, but if he's shy that could put him on the spot, freak him a bit, he sounds shy

Ya
He maybe shy, but that doesn't mean he's stupid.

ari

thanks for the advice everyone. i've decided to be proactive and float out the idea of meeting up. nothing ventured nothing gained, so if it turns out well all good, but if not, it won't be the end of the world
i'll keep you posted

ari

so i was all geared up to text the boy earlier, when he rang so im seeing him fri....everyone's advice sheds some interesting light on male/female dating perceptions tho