Owed money but they wont give it

LegacyUser

Hey guys, just wondering if anyone has any tips for this kind of situation, went on holiday with a group of friends, and one of them still owes me money for the holiday itself (it was paid on my credit card), its not much, but its more of a matter of principle than anything.
Problem is that there was a major falling out during the holiday (caused by this particular person amongst one or two others) and now very few of the group are still talking, i've sent this person messages and they replied basically telling me to f*ck off.

she also has a book belonging to me which she said was left in the apartment, and I said that's fine, you can just give me the money for it, I've tried to be nice about it, even when she told me she was broke, i said that's fine, you can give it to me when you get paid, but she's just being a complete b!tch about it.

she still lives with her parents, so i could easily go up and tell them about the situation and get the money out of them and let them deal with her, but does anyone have any other ideas on how to deal with this?

sonnyboy

Go to the police or confrount her when shes by herself. Threaten to call the police or something..

Seems like a bitch

LegacyUser

call the A Team

Gordon

stp wrote:

call the A Team

Not helpful

wyndham

Do you want to get the friendship back or do you just want your money and f''k them? Would it alienate you from other friends if you were to pursue it aggressively? Can you afford to write off the money and the friend and put it down to experience.

Go on Judge Judy ftw.

Marksie

Tell her you will go see her at her parents is a good idea.
But what about the small claims court? I am not sure if you need a solicitor for this though, which would be more expense

I dont think the gards will be interested to be honest

Bluetonic

showmedmoney wrote:

she still lives with her parents, so i could easily go up and tell them about the situation and get the money out of them and let them deal with her, but does anyone have any other ideas on how to deal with this?

What age are you OP? Presuming your both adults, why get the parents involved. They have no responsibilities and it would be extremely childish. If you are mature enough to have a credit card, surely you are mature enough to deal with the matter without getting next of kin involved. The same goes for contacting the Garda, they won't be interested as it's not a matter for them.

If you want to recoup your losses contact a solicitor. You'll get definitive advice there, not specualtion which is all your likely to get on Boards.ie

You can also contact your district court office for advice.

Edited to add that altough people are saying use the small claims court, you won't be able to as amoungst others excluded from the small claims procedure are claims arising from debts.

HelterSkelter

If it's a small amount she owes you I would let it go. It's a small price to pay for not having to ever lend this person money again.

wyndham

Martin Foley, AKA The Viper has a debt collection agency if you are going to take that path. I hear he has quite a good rate of recovery.;)

#Smokey#

jus' give 'em smack of a wheelbrace man

it sorts all problems out

LegacyUser

small claims court?

Gordon

#Smokey# wrote:

jus' give 'em smack of a wheelbrace man

it sorts all problems out

Banned

Miss Fluff

sonnyboy wrote:

Go to the police or confrount her when shes by herself. Threaten to call the police or something..

Are you being for real?Go to the cops because your mate owes you money and lost a book belonging to you? They're going to dedicate a lot of time to that particular case aren't they??:rolleyes: If your intent on getting it back go the small claims court.

Sony

Ask them for the money one last time - be very blunt and straight forward about it but ask nicely

forget the guards ,small claims and her parents.

If this gets you nowhere forget about her, its a very small price to pay (as someone said earlier) to find out that someone isnt actually a friend at all..sounds like a bitch,what goes around comes around...

Ruu_Old

Ask her one last time as suggested and if nothing happens then I don't think theres a whole lot you can do. If you go to the gardai or small claims court then you'll probably get all sorts of stick for it (probably cost you money to do so and alot of hassle). Also think about who your real friends are, sorry to hear about the situation you have been put in.

GretchenWieners

No point in getting the law involved. Too much money and effort. Just call up to her house and be like "Any chance I'm going to get this money back?" and her parents might even be there so you can get a bit of pressure on her that way. If she doesn't pay you word will just get round that she's just a moocher!

Joseph

stp wrote:

call the A Team

Gordon wrote:

Not helpful

Very helpful;

Fanny Cradock

GretchenWieners wrote:

No point in getting the law involved. Too much money and effort.

obviously you don't know what you are talking about. it only costs €15 to enter a claim in the small claimes court. depending on how much is involved, it may be worth going down this route.
http://www.oasis.gov.ie/justice/small_claims_court/small_claims_court_application_form.html

go around to her house and ask nicely again. if she still refuses to pay, wip the form out and, as your pen hovers over the signature section, ask one last time (possibly in front ot people). may put the ****s up her, or even shame her into paying you back.

tbh, i can't see the hassle and stigma that may come your way being worth a small amount. if it's only a meagra amount it may be best to let it go.

Gordon

Deaddude banned

The_Conductor

If its not a large sum of money and you can live without it, walk away- have nothing whatsoever to do with her again- and learn a lesson and do not book everyone's holidays on your credit card next time around.

We all have situations like you describe, at least once, it is dissappointing- but unfortunately, such is human nature.

If its only a reasonably small amount- its not worth getting frustrated and annoyed over it. Its a bitch ok, but at least its only money.

Bluetonic

Can people stop giving the advice of using the smalls claims court.

They don't deal with issues arising from debt.

The Corinthian

The Gardai will not help as debt collection is not in their remit - and it’s difficult enough to get them to follow up on things that are, as it is.

I suggest you contact her parents about it and explain the situation without further delay. Either that works or it won’t, and if not then there’s little else that you can realistically do, but at least you’ll have embarrassed her.

quazzy

showmedmoney wrote:

one of them still owes me money for the holiday itself (it was paid on my credit card), its not much, but its more of a matter of principle than anything.
......

i've sent this person messages and they replied basically telling me to f*ck off.

The OP has clearly stated that it's NOT really about the money, its the princepal of the matter.

And from the response she is getting from the "friend" ( F**K OFF) then there is probably no friendship left.

If there is a chance of reconsiliation between you then as a friend she would probably pay you back.

If there is no chance of this then by all means get your money back.

Can't really think of a good way to proceed, maybe calling around to her parents is an idea but I really dont know.

I dont think the Small Claims Court is appropriate for this instance. I think a face to face talk would be best.

Keep us updated

Regards

Q

miles teg

Maybe this might give you some ideas:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XM4Pu3pFdEs&search=brian%20stewie

Sleipnir

Call her folks and politely ask them if you can have the money back.

LegacyUser

there is definately no friendship to be salvaged out of this, and i wouldnt have a problem taking her to small claims court, but as mentioned, they dont deal with this sort of thing.

miles teg: the thought had crossed my mind

its primarily a matter of principle, to be honest i dont actually NEED the money, but i WANT it because im not one to let people get away with ripping me off

i think ill have to call at her door at put some pressure on, with her parents around she wont want me shouting at her to "gimme my f*ckin money"

vandermeyde

public humiliation in front of her parents/friends will probably work wonders...

in a nice loud pleasant voice so everyone hears "XX any chance of that money you owe me from the holiday X months ago please"....

even if you don't get it back, seeing the colour her face turns will be worth it

[Jackass]

She owes what she owes...call around to her house, ask her for it in person if she tells you to fu*k off, there's nothing you can really do...maybe send her a letter just saying "let's be reasonable about the whole thing, I lent you the money in good faith, I know you're not the type of person to steal from fiends or other people who try to help you out, can I please have my money back?"

If there's still no joy, fu*k it, nothing else you can do...just don't lend (significant amounts of) money to people you don't 100% trust or aren't sure if they'll pay you back...lend a friend a tenner and if they come to you the next day with it, then they're ok

Oh, and a word of advice, girls should NEVER go on holidays together.

onemanband

How much money did you lend her??

Dudess

Definitely keep on at her about it. My God, the nerve of her to think she can be abusive to you when it's your money she has. People like that have to be stopped. Why let her get away with it? She'll just become even worse.

the_syco

When you're pretty sure she's not at home, ring her house, and ask for her. When you get told by her parents that she's not there, tell them to tell her that you want the X amount of money back from her, as your credit-card bill is coming up, and as she has still not given you the money that she owes you for it, you'll ring every day for it, as you're not prepared to be a doormat.

Low, but not as low as borrowing money, and not returning it.

aidan24326

If it's a relatively small amount of money, then all this talk of gardai and solicitors and the like is pure nonsense. Way more hassle than it's worth.

Take Corinthian's advice, have a quiet word with the parents if you can. If nothing comes of that, then fxck them, just forget it. She obviously wasn't much of a friend.

Chucky the tree

It al depends on how much money is involved. If its a small amount of money i definitly wouldnt get solictors etc involved.

I doubt any of your friends would be impressed with you if you did get the solictors involved. However if your not to worried about alienating them then go for it.

How about telling everyone about it? YOu will find in a group of friends if the the group of them arent impressed with the actions of one he/she will try there best to rectify it. Although if the group has already fallen out big time this mightnt work.

Mr. CooL ICE

If the money owed was, say, between €50 and €500 and if I was in your present situation, being owed money and already having been refused it back, what I would do is ring her up and tell her to give you the money back or youre not talking to her again.

Don't ask for the money, simply play the ball in her court and give her a choice... Your friendship or money that isn't hers. If she decides to keep the money, then I'm afraid you shouldn't be friends with that person any more.

If the money was over €500, than contrary to what most other are posting, I would advise you to get the small claims court involved. Even a summons to a court may be enough to scare the bejaysus out of her and give it back.

stevenmu

It doesn't matter how much money is involved, there's no point considering legal action. Unless you're a licensed money lender and there's a legally binding contract involved, any money you lent was completely at your own risk.

Dudess

I can't believe people are advising the OP to forget about it. It's their money, ffs! Forgetting about it is effectively saying "oh, that money you have is actually mine but you can keep it - even though you've done nothing to deserve it in anyway". Why should that horrible cow have the upper hand? If she's let get away with it, it will be a victory for her and she'll no doubt try her hand at doing it to someone else.

The_Conductor

Dudess wrote:

I can't believe people are advising the OP to forget about it. It's their money, ffs! Forgetting about it is effectively saying "oh, that money you have is actually mine but you can keep it - even though you've done nothing to deserve it in anyway". Why should that horrible cow have the upper hand? If she's let get away with it, it will be a victory for her and she'll no doubt try her hand at doing it to someone else.

There reaches a time, for reasons for your own sanity- where you just have to accept that you made a mistake in lending that person the money in the first place, and move on. Certainly the other person does not deserve the money- but nor does the OP deserve the mental anguish of doing their head in trying to settle the debt. Personally I value my sanity more than I would value the hell of trying to deal with the guilty party. I am not suggesting that Karma will get the guilty party- simply that you have to draw a line in the sand and move on once you reach a particular point. Is the sum of money involved worth the amount of time and effort involved in recovering it?- that was the question I posed.

Dudess

You're right, smccarrick. I think the OP should confront the girl face to face though. That seems to be the only way to deal with this. If the OP is intimidated, he/she needs to toughen up. If that doesn't work, then it is time to move on.

Pink Bunny

I have to agree with smccarrick. The OP said it wasn't a great deal of money and while I agree that the "friend" should give it back it looks like that isn't going to happen so sometimes you just have to let it go.

I've been in that position myself a few times I'm sorry to say and trust me if anyone had little money to lend it's me, and it does bother me if I dwell on it to be truthful. But I guess I think of it this way, it might be that the borrower doesn't have the money to pay back and is embarassed by it therefore is acting defensive. And unless they are completely forgetful they know they owe the money back and it might bother them more than they let on, and that's a worse state of mind to be in.

LegacyUser

While in college a friend of mine allowed a friend of his to move into his house, paying rent obviously. It was a quite informal arrangement. When the friend moved out he owed about 300 euro. He refused to pay and was even cheeky about it, saying there was nothing my friend could do as there was no rent book and he would tell the police (or whoever) that the TV licence hadn't been paid if he tried anything!

So my friend wrote a polite letter to this chap's parents. Got the money about three days after sending the letter! It might seem childish but if the debtor is living with his or her parents then they will sort him or her out quick-smart!

Gordon

Similar wrote:

It might seem childish but if the debtor is living with his or her parents then they will sort him or her out quick-smart!

Unfortunately some people want to act like children, so you should treat them in the manner that is befitting them.

spanner

I agree with the common consensus. Once it is money you can afford to lose, forget about she obiviously thought nothing of your friendship. I would only try the law if it is a large amount of money that you cannot afford to lose. I had some friends bring a dispute to the small claims tribual and it made tenisons between the friends much worse, your other friends will see it as money grabbing and agressive.

you have asked nicely, thats as much as you can do.

On the other hand them folks in the LA underground... the A team could be the better option:D