Don't want to break her heart

LegacyUser

Hi all, I've lurked on this forum for a while, but now have a knotty personal problem. All advice welcome.

I went out with a girl for about 6 months this spring/last winter. She ended it this March. I was happy, as I was bored, honestly, but I didn't quite have the guts to do it. A month later, she tried to get back with me. I wasn't cruel, or patronising, but complimentary and polite but firm. I turned her down. She tried again last Saturday night. Again, I said I liked her just as a friend. I think that she might be in love with me.

That's OK, but I have been screwing a friend of hers for the last few weeks. She's sexy, funny, and a really warm person. Nobody, and I mean nobody knows about it yet, but I'm developing real feelings for her.

Is there any way of seeing her friend, without breaking her heart?

Thanks for reading.

LegacyUser

In a word, no. I've tried this a few times before, trust me it won't work out. Women...

LegacyUser

In short....no....If she is in love with u its gonna hurt like hell, and I doubt that she will be the least bit happy about it. That said, u are a free agent and as you weren't with her at the time there is little she can do about it. How you handle depends on how much you care for her...just remember she is gonna be fragile!

spanner

make sure you are serious her friend before saying anything, no need to hurt her if you are just having a fling with her. No way passed it though

Black Swan

PintofPlain wrote:

Is there any way of seeing her friend, without breaking her heart?

Doubt it. She will be hurt by you seeing her friend, and probably lose the friend, too. Put yourself in her shoes. Would you be hurt?

Marksie

Agree with the others that you will probably hurt her.
However, in context, she broke up with you in march. Even when she tried to get back with you, you have always said no. in that instance you have not given any misleading or wrong impressions.

You have moved on, she hasn't

Dors1976

I agree too but She'll appreciate your honesty in the long run, very very long run!

Strokesfan

What a lovely friend that girl has??! I mean the friend obviously knows that the girl is mad about you! Maybe the girl you're seeing now only finds you attractive cos she can have you and the other girl can't... no offence, we girls work in mysterious ways....

ari

i totally agree, what a cow! its like the unwritten rule...exes are off limit. i know i would never dream of doing anything like that to a friend of a mine, no matter how wonderful the guy in question may be. i think the whole underhanded nature of the situation is the worst. her problem not yours op. think long and hard because three friendships/relationships are at risk here.

but sure good luck with it anyway

McGinty

Don't mind the last two replies, you are single and the girl your seeing is single, so there is no problem, you are not repsonsible for the feelings of your ex, she is reponsible for her feelings, she may be pissed but follow your heart in order to make yourself happy,

LegacyUser

She broke up with you FFS...screw her.

Linoge

PintofPlain wrote:

That's OK, but I have been screwing a friend of hers for the last few weeks.

What year in the 90's are you living in exactly?

PintofPlain wrote:

She's sexy, funny, and a really warm person. Nobody, and I mean nobody knows about it yet, but I'm developing real feelings for her.

Usually people don't tend to develop feelings for people they are "screwing", so I'd say that you have nothing to worry about.