pink elephant joke

Crumble Froo

hope you havent seen it before...

The Pink Elephant Joke...

There was once a man who had a strange obsession. He was determined to capture a pink elephant. So he saved up all his money, and organised an expedition to Africa. He hunted through the jungle for several months, without success. He was running low on funds, and was about to give up and return to England, when he at last caught sight of a pink elephant. He followed it for several days, to observe its habits. He noticed that every day at 12 noon, the pink elephant would enter the same clearing, climb a big tree that was there, wait at the top for half an hour, then climb down again and continue on its way. He reasoned that it must be getting hungry, sitting up there all that time, so he decided to tempt it with some food, and, while the pink elephant was distracted, he would sneak up behind it and capture it. He went back to his camp and baked an apple pie.

The next day, at 11:30, the hunter went to the clearing, put the apple pie at the bottom of the tree, and hid in the bushes to wait. Sure enough, at 12 noon, the pink elephant came into the clearing, climbed the tree, waited at the top for half an hour, climbed down again, ....and walked away, putting its right front foot in the apple pie as it did so.
"Oh well, " thought the hunter, "perhaps it doesn't like apples. I'll try something else." So he went back to his camp and baked a blackberry pie.

The next day, at 11:30, the hunter went to the clearing, put the blackberry pie at the bottom of the tree, and hid in the bushes to wait. Sure enough, at 12 noon, the pink elephant came into the clearing, climbed the tree, waited at the top for half an hour, climbed down again, ....and walked away, putting its LEFT front foot in the blackberry pie as it did so. "Drat!" thought the hunter. "It doesn't like blackberries either. Guess I'll have to try something else." So he went back to his camp and baked a blueberry pie.

The next day, at 11:30, the hunter went to the clearing, put the blueberry pie at the bottom of the tree, and hid in the bushes to wait. Sure enough, at 12 noon, the pink elephant came into the clearing, climbed the tree, waited at the top for half an hour, climbed down again, ....and walked away, putting its right BACK foot in the blueberry pie as it did so. "**** it!!" thought the hunter, getting frustrated. "Stupid pink elephant! It doesn't like blueberries either. I'll have to try something completely different next time, but if that doesn't work, I'm gonna give up and forget the whole idea." So he went back to his camp and made a sherry trifle with cherries and chocolate flakes on the top.

The next day, at 11:30, the hunter went to the clearing, put the sherry trifle with cherries and chocolate flakes on the top at the bottom of the tree, and hid in the bushes to wait. Sure enough, at 12 noon, the pink elephant came into the clearing, climbed the tree, waited at the top for half an hour, climbed down again, ....and walked away, putting its LEFT back foot in the sherry trifle with cherries and chocolate flakes on the top as it did so. "****ing bastard pink elephant!!!" thought the hunter, "Right! that's it!" I'm going back to England. I'm gonna forget all about stupid pink elephants and get on with my life!"

Which is what he did.

50 years later, The hunter, now an old, decrepid and poor man, was sitting in a nursing home reading a newspaper. He had failed at everything he'd tried to do in life, as no matter how hard he'd tried, he couldn't get pink elephants out of his mind .Suddenly he jumped up out of his wheelchair, and danced round the room, shouting "HA HA!! YES!! YES !! HA HA!!" which startled the nurses and the other patients half to death.
The cause of his excitement was an advert in the newspaper which read," GENUINE GUARANTEED AUTOMATIC PINK ELEPHANT TRAP. only £950:00. Guaranteed to catch a pink elephant or your money back." The old man had exactly £1000 to his name, so he bought the Genuine Guaranteed Automatic Pink Elephant Trap, and with the remaining £50 bought a rowing boat. He put the trap in the boat, and rowed off across the sea to Africa The journey took nearly 2 years, and the only thing that kept him going was the thought of finally catching the pink elephant.

Eventually he arrived in Africa, and hunted round the jungle for another year, looking for the clearing, and dragging the heavy trap behind him. All the time he had just one thought in his mind. Finally at last, after a wasted life, he was actually going to catch a pink elephant. At long last, on the point of exhaustion, he stumbled into the very same clearing where he had seen the pink elephant all those years ago. There was the very same tree, and there were elephant tracks on the ground. The old man looked at his watch. It was 11:30! Trembling with excitement, he put the Genuine Guaranteed Automatic Pink Elephant Trap at the bottom of the tree, and hid in the bushes to wait. Sure enough, at 12 noon, the very same elephant came into the clearing, climbed the tree, waited at the top for half an hour, climbed down again, ...........And walked away!. The trap didn't work!
Do you know why?

Because the pink elephant had turned grey with age.

Art_Wolf

*cries*

Dermington

die you f*cking b*stard :mad:

Nehpets

bad bad bad

Zapp Brannigan

Oh my god....
Stop posting in the Humour section.

RoadSweeper

haha, what a waste of time. that aspect is funny!

sinjin_smythe

narco wrote:

. The trap didn't work!
Do you know why?

Because the pink elephant had turned grey with age.

Just thought id spoil it for everybody, plus i hate you

Crumble Froo

glad i didnt come here to make friends:p

but ok, i promise, the horrifically bad jokes (ie, the ones I think are terrible) will stop.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A little boy was lost at a large shopping mall. He approached a uniformed policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!" The cop asked, "What's he like?" The little boy replied, "Beer and women with big tits."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A newlywed couple decide that instead of going on an expensive honeymoon, they would get a case of beer and go out to the local lake. As they are sitting out there drinking and having fun, and alien ship comes down and a male and female alien get off of the ship.

"Do not worry," they said. "We come in peace. We want to party."

The newlyweds decide to let them party with them as it would be a great story to tell their children. After a while the male alien asked if it would be okay if he were to take the human woman on his ship and have sex with her. He said that the female alien will stay on the ground and have sex with the human male. the couple agreed to try it out.

The woman went onto the ship with the male alien and as they got undressed she noticed that he was not well endowed. She began to giggle. He looked at her and said that she was not to worry. He reached up and tugged on his right ear and his penis grew five inches. He then tugged on his left ear and it expanded an inch and a half in girth. They had sex and then went back down to join the other two. The woman walked up to her husband and he said:

"Now honey, don't lie...how was it?
She looked at him and said.."I won't lie...it was the best sex I have ever had in my life....how was yours?"

He gave her a bewildered look and said..."I don't know...she wouldn't stop tugging on my ears."

Kojak

:mad: You wasted 4 minutes fo my life and I want them back.