New Partner , New Problem

LegacyUser

Ok, here i go, started seeing this girl, she is 28 i am 27.. we get on and love spending time together.... we are sexual people who both enjoy sex... like so many others here is the problem: my last sexual parter who i was with over 4 years had a child and had looser muscles in her vagina...(she had a kid so dont know if this made her streatch a bit, as i know it can and if certain excerises are not performed then they do not tighten back up) had plenty of sex and had no problems..

now with new girlfriend... when wse have sex she is tight... i mean tight i cant last very long during full penetatrative intercorse (maybe half and hour maximum) she does not come from the sex as it is over pretty quick so oral is the only was to get her off, have tried delaying cream but does not seem to work...

am looking for advice about what to do as i am getting pretty down about this has never been a problem before... it is just a case of getting used to it and her loosing up.. we have talked about this and she says no problem but would like to sort it out....

thanks

Worried

LegacyUser

I'd be made up if I lasted half an hour.

LegacyUser

I've never been with a partner whos lasted longer than 5 minutes.

No, I've never had children, so maybe I'm tight, how would I know.

My current partner hasn't managed to last more than 2 minutes, I'd imagine he hasn't even gotten close to it........

He's finished & I haven't even warmed up yet!!!!!!!!!!

Count yourselves lucky!!

Miss Fluff

Half an hour going at it hammer and tongs? Don't see that as a problem tbh....

LegacyUser

Half an hour is a problem?, some of us are lucky if we last half a minute! (not I, I hasten to add...ahem..). Anyone going to use the T word for the OP?

aidan24326

Worried Guy, half an hour sounds pretty good to me. 'she does not come as it's over pretty quick' huh? Pretty quick? Half an hour? Methinks you are jesting my friend. If she can't come after half an hour then she's not going to come from penetration full stop. If you can make her orgasm in other ways I don't see what's the problem tbh.

LegacyUser

You must have very little sexual experience with women if you think 30mins is a problem. Quit wasting everyones time...

LegacyUser

dont even dare with the t word, maybe it is not me with the problem... 30 mins i would have to stop and with draw because i would orgasm, but with anyone else i have been with they have never had a problem... so i will have a chat with her....

tried those trojan condoms with the gel that make you last longer.. little help, but you hear people going for hours etc... worrying alot about this as it is a new partner you want to totally satisfy them

thanks for help

ronan

blorg

Half an hour is far from quick but I would suggest thick condoms. Alternatively, Bernard Manning.

Xiney

I think half an hour might be a bit of an exaggeration if you feel this is "too quick" but as someone married to a "forever man" I get what you're saying.

Does she come from clitoral stimulation only? Have you tried different positions in an attempt to find one that will put her over? Has she tried being on top?

Communication being essential in relationships, I suggest you tell her that you'd really like to make her orgasm while making love to her and ask her if it ever happened with past partners. If yes, ask her how it happened, what position etc. If not, try to extrapolate what makes her come when you give her oral sex and do that while you have penetrative sex with her. For example, if she (like many women) is most likely to be sent over by stimulating her clitoris, then you can use your finger(s) to do so.

If none of this works, why not get a little more adventurous. A small vibrator on her clitoris might do the trick. Some warming lubrication (if you use condoms make sure the two are compatible of course) or even just a new situation. Women are highly mentally sexual... perhaps she'd like it if you'd talk dirty to her.

Half an hour is quite a long time to be having sex and not coming. If she has problems with vaginal dryness this will certainly NOT help things, it will make sex painful and it will make it virtually impossible for her to orgasm. Honestly, the best thing would be to talk to her about it, although hopefully some of these suggestions will be a tiny bit helpful.

Marksie

Foreplay? ever tried it?

Why are you fixated on what dangles beneath? many women cannot orgasm by penetration alone.

What about fingers hands and tongue FIRST!!!

and dont brag about 30 minutes to an hour being "pretty quick" its unseemly and could be construed to be aimed at getting WOW responses.

Ok for penetrative sex only:
So have you tried PC muscle exercises?
150 per day 3 sets of 50. You can stop urself anytime you want then

Also, try using them to twich inside.

Also, if she does them she can twitch as well.

use a different position : yab yum is a good one.

Stimulate outside dont just go in and out like a piston engine while counting the seconds (a good way i find is to support on one hand and use the other to stimulate).

vary, speed, rythym, angle and depth of penetration alternating slow and deep with fast shallow.
ride high: i.e missionary head above her head so ur slide down the fronnt and in and not just in.

If you want resources PM me.

jesus, i should charge for this i would be a millionaire LOL

Oh and dont ask me how long i can last I wouldnt want to embarasse you

LegacyUser

not trying to impress anyone... this is a problem not a joke... ok we start with oral sex and loads of foreplay. have tried cream and diferent condoms, she say only 6 times in her life she has come with intercorse... i can get her off with oral no problem... i think a sex toy would be a good idea but this soon into a relationship is that not a death sentence?

the half an hour refers to penetrative sex where, i have to withdraw a few times to stop coming.... not 30 mins of banging away... and it gets sore after a while also which does not help...

ronan

Marksie

OP wrote:

not trying to impress anyone... this is a problem not a joke... ok we start with oral sex and loads of foreplay.

and does she orgasm with that?

OP wrote:

have tried cream and diferent condoms

Cream? I take it you mean a delay cream? or a clitoral stimulant cream

OP wrote:

she say only 6 times in her life she has come with intercorse...

penetration you mean?

OP wrote:

i can get her off with oral no problem... i think a sex toy would be a good idea but this soon into a relationship is that not a death sentence?

Not in the slightest

OP wrote:

the half an hour refers to penetrative sex where, i have to withdraw a few times to stop coming.... not 30 mins of banging away... and it gets sore after a while also which does not help...

is she dry? are you going to fast? or does she get dry?

is she entirely comfortable with penetration, and do you switch to different positions.?

Nevyn

Hey this is forum is for helpful advice not for interogating people.

LegacyUser

no i dont mind it is cool need views from different angles...

she might come twice small ones from oral

Cream? I take it you mean a delay cream? or a clitoral stimulant cream

tried both creams are they a waste of time???? did not seem to make any diference

penetration you mean?

yep penetration,


no she is doe not seem to be dry and she does get really into it but she shes says she cant get over the "edge" to orgasm

have tried quite a number of positions.. some better than others as some make it even tighter , then i have no hope...

maybe i am trying to hard, wanted to get some viagra, so see if thats numbs the sensation...?

ronan

Xiney

OP wrote:

not trying to impress anyone... this is a problem not a joke... ok we start with oral sex and loads of foreplay. have tried cream and diferent condoms, she say only 6 times in her life she has come with intercorse... i can get her off with oral no problem... i think a sex toy would be a good idea but this soon into a relationship is that not a death sentence?

the half an hour refers to penetrative sex where, i have to withdraw a few times to stop coming.... not 30 mins of banging away... and it gets sore after a while also which does not help...

ronan

A sex toy can be a little daunting but if you ask her about it who knows what she might say.

do you mean you get sore or she gets sore? Because like I said in my previous post, if she is sore there is pretty much no way she is going to orgasm. Lubrication can help with this a lot. In fact, if you use a lot of KY, you will feel less friction as well which may help you last longer.

However, I don't think your lasting is the issue here. I think it's the way you're doing it that is. Try getting her to go on top. Pillows under her knees can help with leverage issues. Try using your fingers to stimulate her clitoris as you make love.

Lastly, just be glad she's honest enough not to fake it with you just to get you to stop!

humanji

OP wrote:

the half an hour refers to penetrative sex where, i have to withdraw a few times to stop coming.... not 30 mins of banging away... and it gets sore after a while also which does not help...

ronan

Well do you when you withdraw, do you both just stop and calm down or do you keep stimulating her?

LegacyUser

i have no problem at all with sex toys, last gf i havd i got her a romping rabbit, and both of us loved it....

i stop for only 30 seconds but i keep her going etc....


ronan

Marksie

OP wrote:

no i dont mind it is cool need views from different angles...

she might come twice small ones from oral

Cream? I take it you mean a delay cream? or a clitoral stimulant cream

tried both creams are they a waste of time???? did not seem to make any diference

penetration you mean?

yep penetration,


no she is doe not seem to be dry and she does get really into it but she shes says she cant get over the "edge" to orgasm

have tried quite a number of positions.. some better than others as some make it even tighter , then i have no hope...

maybe i am trying to hard, wanted to get some viagra, so see if thats numbs the sensation...?

ronan

Just needed a little more info
Great thanks for all that..well i am not sure that stimulant creams are any good actually, you are just wasting your money.

you both may be straining to hard from the penetration side of things actually.

if i am guessing correctly then she tightens when you either enter or are inside? Maybe she is actaully quite nervous about being penetrated.
though i think there is a condition called vagisimus where the vagina tightens tiotally. i dont think so here
Lets move back a step:
if you are communicating openly she will be telling you what she likes and what feels good, and in a nice wasy, what feels not so good. try working on that in a very gentle fashion
It is really greta by the way that you are so concerned about giving your Gf pleasure..i forgot to say that.

Perhaps yu could try not being orgasm oriented when it involves penetration..in fact when you make love, why not forget about penetration althogether and spend a few times really just learning about each other.
Concentarte ion the foreplay and what feels good. bring each other to orgasm without penetration at all. or simply spend and evening teasing and stroking
the aim would be to get you in the now with her and simply be together.
in that way you will learn how she responds and the sensitive areas which she really enjoys.
Of course you can use your fingers to penetrate and explore..but do that..explore.

also i would say.. she does orgasm..so build on that as well... and gradulally work everything else into your lovemaking.

OK: let your girlfriend take control as well, if you want to penetrate. Woman on top. let her use the rhythm and depth... just dont thikn that orgasm is the ultimate goal of lovemaking it isnt. feel what she is feeling and watch and lsiten to what she does..this could be body language, breathing etc.

if you get that concept you are half way there for the both of you.

Of course if you want penetrtaion to occurr let it and enjoy but dont fix on a penatration orgasm.
perhaps, if you are on top you cuold move in slow strokes when deep, of more rapid when shalloe (i.e shallow about 1 inch inside).

One possibility is to dop perhaps 6 or 8 rapid shallow then very slowly all the way and six deep and very slow.

Connect with her... ddont forget that even when inside the rest of her body is there as well..kiss , touch, hair neck eveywhere.
Drop into teh now and match yourself slowly to her rhythms. talk to her .. not rauinchy, but just tell her how special she is, how you feel how good she makes you feel. keep it gentle there will be plenty of time for wioldness later.
There is no specific goal in this except that you will become one and she will relax and be more open

i had a partner who reached the "edge" very often... by guidance and following instinct and what feelings were inside for her it moved well well beyond that.


Put aside your doubts and just love her totally

Oh and viagra doesn’t numb: its works on the nitrates in the blood. It is by doctors prescription and is for erectile dysfunction.
You do not have that and he wont prescribe. If you use without having ercitile dysfunction… you may develop erectile dysfunction
as for creams: your staying power isnt the issue..you dont need them

Oh and PM and i will give you some resources which you two could share (i.e book titles)

[Jackass]

Clean out the pipes before you go to work.

Sorted. :cool:

Crea

Start with oral and lots of foreplay.
If she's that tight then i'd guess she's not ready and lubed enough. A half an hour is plenty of time for her to orgasm so if she isn't then she isn't turned on enough to start with.
After a baby some women are very "orgasmic" so don't use that relationship as a yard stick (no pun intended).:p

LegacyUser

hey thanks for replies, all great sugestions but i have tried most things.... trhe sex is great really is she says she is happy, and enjoys it but i think she is holding back....maybe.

i think she is more experienced sexually, dont know if that has something to do with it..?

really have to just stop thinking about it, and just enjoy it...

would it be better to just forget about her coming and make sure i enjoy it??

thanks

ronan

LegacyUser

Success!!! At last it happined on stat night, great form, think i know the key to her now...but alot more to learn i think..



thanks everyone

the_syco

OP wrote:

would it be better to just forget about her coming and make sure i enjoy it??

You could do that in 2 minutes, to be honest:rolleyes: Both enjoying it, will result in a happier relationship.

Oh, and try a few different positions.