In a lot of pain

LegacyUser

Hi, 28 yo male from Dublin here.

Basically, have been getting serious chest and stomach pains. Went to GP who has sent me for tests, but they came back clear, that is, there is no reason for them? Yet I am in a lot of pain, my chest is constantly restricted, hard to breathe and my stomach is constantly in knots. GP thought that its psychosomatic, but is concerned that it seems a bit much for that. Went for more test and a scan in an MRI machine etc and they did in fact pick up the fact that I was in pain but could not find the source (as in what causes it). I have further test scheduled, but physically I am in good condition, eat well, do light exercise, not big drinker, dont smoke and all of my family are in good health. I was and still am very, very upset over GF leaving me and the Docs have been asking about this and I have been to see a psychiatrist yet he is also at a loss. They have ruled out Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS) as it usually can be attributed to a physical cause as well. They think it may be related to stress, yet I have had stressful times before and never this. It has started to really affect my life to the point where I am in despair over it now as it is quite painful.
The experts have started to take more interest in how I am feeling over my break up with the GF as a possible cause of the pain as there is no other drama in my life beside this.
I admit to missing her terribly, but its gone and I have accepted that, but I still listen to 'our' songs and cry myself to sleep at night. There is no chance of me and her getting back to together and it isnt the first heartbreak I have had in life either.
This has been going on (physical pain) for about 4 months now and have been broken up with GF about 5 so it started after that. Yet I still cannot see if it could be related. I was kind of relieved though when the Doctors did agree that the pain itself was real as I though that I might have been going mad?
I havent had any social time at all in months, usually sit in with parents and watch TV, friends are great but they are a little uncomfortable as are workmates as I grimace a lot and clutch at my stomach whilst speaking and I can see the expressions on their faces of sympathy. One friend has told another that she is really concerned for me as in she thinks I might 'do something about it' which I wont as I am sort of religious in that I cant see me 'ending it all' or anything like that, but I am utterly sick and tired of this. Another friend told my ex girlfriend about it and she was going to call over to see me but I told her, through a mutual friend that I didnt want a sympathy visit and I know that seeing her would only make me cry.
Has anyone experienced or heard of anything like this before? I am at my wits end with this as its hard to eat, sleep and work when it feels like I have a constant migraine (well it has all the same characteristics as one, I have never suffered from them before) and that feeling in your stomach when you get off a rollercoaster, sharp stabbing cramps and nausea. I throw up as much as I swallow and wake within an hour of falling asleep and have to try to get back asleep again. Is it possible for a broken heart to cause such a real pain? I am left with little quality of life here as I am on pretty powerful painkillers which only seem to numb the pain and nothing numbs the pain in my heart.
Any theories/advice/similar stories greatfully accepted?

Beruthiel

Painfully aware wrote:

but I still listen to 'our' songs and cry myself to sleep at night.

This is not helping you at all, I'd call it mental torture.

for about 4 months now and have been broken up with GF about 5 so it started after that. Yet I still cannot see if it could be related.

Why can't you see the connection if it started after the breakup?

I havent had any social time at all in months, usually sit in with parents and watch TV

You need to stop that immediately. Make yourself go out with your mates, do something to fill your time, hobbies, cinema, pubs, whatever, but make yourself do it, start today.

Another friend told my ex girlfriend about it and she was going to call over to see me but I told her, through a mutual friend that I didnt want a sympathy visit and I know that seeing her would only make me cry.

Do not see her under any circumstances, it will not help you at all.

Has anyone experienced or heard of anything like this before?

When I left my ex-husband I could not eat for 3 months, my throat was constricted and I just couldn't swallow or feel like eating, I lost over a stone in weight. My head felt like it was in a vise. I certainly did not feel as ill as you seem to but it can happen I'm sure.

It's a well known fact that mental stress can cause all sorts of health issues, this is no different.
If you can accept the fact that these pains are caused by the break up then you can start your healing process. You will have to make a big effort to fill you time and stop dwelling on her. By next year it will all be behind you if you do as I suggest.
I'm not for one minute saying that it will be easy, but if you want to move on and feel better it's what you must do.

LegacyUser

The fuinny thing was, that I was starting to sort of get back to myself when these pains started. I have only started listening to 'our' songs recently as I am so depressed about this (the pain) and started to think more and more about her. The psychiatrist said that in my own head, its like she is the 'cure' to this but she is not, he is convinced that even if me and her were together again it would persist for some time. No one actually has any solid idea as to what is causing it either although they dont like to guess either.

I have tried going out to pubs, clubs the theatre but I usually end up being a downer for everyone as I cant drink anything except plain water and the noise in them is too much as well. I am afraid that I will lose my friends as good as they are being they really dont know what to say beside ''how are you feeling today'' and stuff like that. I do understand that its difficult to deal with and try to be upbeat, but every so often I get a severe spasm in my gut and almost double over. I even had a good thing going with a nice girl in the local one night when it was quiet but in the middle of talking to her I started to get nauseous and had to run to the toilet in case I got sick. I told her what was up, but she didnt seem keen after that as I imagine that it sounded odd ''I have severe pains with no reason, thats why it looks like I am about to fall over.'' I stopped going to pubs after that even if they were quiet. I agree about not seeing the Ex GF, I know I would only end up crying my eyes out. I feel that this is so, so unfair and I never was someone to cry much before but I go to bed each night wishing I didnt wake up in the morning, but of course I usually wake after only a short time and lie awake in the dark sobbing. Thats when I usually put on the music and cry until I fall asleep again. My parents are also at their wits end, all my other siblings are scattered throughout the world either permanently or on extended holidays and my dad has come close to crying sometimes. I heard him praying one night and he was pleading with god to do something as I wasnt a bad person.

I feel like I have been cursed of something.

Luckily I work pretty much on my own at my own pace so I have been able to work from home quite a bit so that is a good thing as well. Work have been great to me as I even offered my holiday time to cover hospital visits but they wouldnt hear of it and I have done my best to not let this affect things.If I am working at home its not too bad as I dont have to try to control myself and my expressions as I do if anyone is near me in work. I am getting really self conscious about this as I imagine people are starting to say ''its all in his head'' even though everyone is hugely supportive?

aidan24326

Like Beruthiel said mental stress can cause all manner of physical symptoms. This whole area is still quite poorly understood and medical science is only beginning to acknowledge the myriad ways that your mind can knock your physical body out of sync. There could still be a physical problem which may yet be diagnosed, but I'm sure they've told you that pain caused by severe stress very often manifests itself in the chest area. You will obviously have to deal with the mental stuff first anyway, all this crying to sleep business would stress the daylights out of anyone. Follow Beruthiel's advice, and barring the unlikely event of a hitherto undiagnosed physical problem, then you will get over it in time.

LegacyUser

aidan24326 wrote:

Like Beruthiel said mental stress can cause all manner of physical symptoms. This whole area is still quite poorly understood and medical science is only beginning to acknowledge the myriad ways that your mind can knock your physical body out of sync. There could still be a physical problem which may yet be diagnosed, but I'm sure they've told you that pain caused by severe stress very often manifests itself in the chest area. You will obviously have to deal with the mental stuff first anyway, all this crying to sleep business would stress the daylights out of anyone. Follow Beruthiel's advice, and barring the unlikely event of a hitherto undiagnosed physical problem, then you will get over it in time.

I had a much worse time of it a few years ago, my grandfather died suddenly in front of me (massive heart attack) and I was really close with him and I ended up flunking my last year of college and having to repeat. I was in a real horrible place for a long time after that but nothing like this occured?

I have only really started getting upset and crying of late as I feel like my life is going to be like this forever. The Doctors are very sympathetic but cannot seem able to do anything about it. The chest pains arent too bad, more of a constriction, but the headaches and the pain in the stomach/gut can be quite debiliating at times. Initially, I was able to 'fight' back with a positive mental attitude but now, I am just giving in to the despair. I heard an expression that goes along the lines that people get comfort in feeling sorry for themselves, which it seems I am doing. But it seems I can do little else.

I am considering alternative therapies such as acuouncture and reiki although how effective they can be is questionable as I do know my dad got great relief from a broken shoulder that plagued him for years?

Anyone any thoughts on that, as one Doctor said, it cant do any harm at this stage?

aidan24326

Painfully aware wrote:

I had a much worse time of it a few years ago, my grandfather died suddenly in front of me (massive heart attack) and I was really close with him and I ended up flunking my last year of college and having to repeat. I was in a real horrible place for a long time after that but nothing like this occured?

You can't really compare though. Just because it didn't happen then doesn't mean it couldn't happen now. Different time, different circumstances.

I have only really started getting upset and crying of late as I feel like my life is going to be like this forever. The Doctors are very sympathetic but cannot seem able to do anything about it. The chest pains arent too bad, more of a constriction, but the headaches and the pain in the stomach/gut can be quite debiliating at times. Initially, I was able to 'fight' back with a positive mental attitude but now, I am just giving in to the despair. I heard an expression that goes along the lines that people get comfort in feeling sorry for themselves, which it seems I am doing. But it seems I can do little else.

Sounds like you're stuck in a vicious cycle of wallowing in your own misery which stresses you out even more which in turn fuels the physical pain etc....I don't know, and it doesn't sound like your doctors do either.

I am considering alternative therapies such as acuouncture and reiki although how effective they can be is questionable as I do know my dad got great relief from a broken shoulder that plagued him for years?
Anyone any thoughts on that, as one Doctor said, it cant do any harm at this stage?

You'd have nothing to lose. Acupuncture can bring good results for pain relief and might be worth a try. As for Reiki, from what I know of it it sounds like a load of complete hogwash tbh. Any effect it has is almost certainly placebo, though in your case I suppose anything is worth a shot but do be cautious as to how you go about seeking any alternative therapy.

Alternative therapies (reiki, kinesiology, acupuncture, homeopathy, reflexology etc) are not regulated by any governing or controlling body the way conventional medical practice is. In other words just about anyone with a heartbeat and a dodgy-looking certificate can become a practitioner in most of these aforementioned 'treatments'. Acupuncture would be a slight exception where a good deal of training and expertise is usually required by those who are properly skilled in it's application.

Most of the others like reiki, homeoplathy etc. are a mix of pseudoscience and charlatanism. AFAIK they've never been demonstrated to have any effect whatsover beyond placebo. But if you do decide to try one of these alternative therapies do a little research first and find a practitioner who's considered reputable. The last thing you need now is to handing over money to some chancer that's gonna be blabbering on about your aura being out of balance with the cosmic vibrational energy or some other such nonsense.

But seen as the traditional doctors aren't coming up with any answers it might be no harm to try out something different I suppose. Do a bit of research and see what alternatives are out there besides the obvious cosmic vibration charlatans I've just mentioned. Acupuncture could be worth a go if there's a good well-recommended practitioner available. Therapeutic massage can also be a great stress reliever.

LegacyUser

I really dont think, no matter what people are thinking that this is related to splitting up with GF. It was 4 or 5 weeks after the split and i was still a little sad because I was really in love with her. It just started out of the blue one day, in car on way home from work and started to have difficulty breathing and stomach was starting to get upset. Had to pull in for over 20 mins until felt up to driving again and went home. After 2 days went to GP who diagnosed several things which all came up wrong. For the next month or so was back and forth to doctors and hospital and didnt even think much about her as this was starting to freak me out.
The wallowing in misery thing though is more recent as is the crying at night. I keep reflecting on my life a year ago and how things were just great. We had an apartment together, we were saving for a house, had discussed marriage and I was as healthy as could be and very, very happy. Life just went through the floor then as I was hit with first an emotional trauma and then this. I havent been back to the psychiatrist as he thinks that apart from the huge stresses I am under, I am essentially of sound mind (probably the only good thing a doctor has said to me?) but I should go and see a counsellor because I am getting very depressed with the situation.
I would try anything from faith healing to black magic to make this stop at this stage and whether real or psychosomatic I dont care. If I thought that anything might work I would probably try it.

CathyMoran

I think that you need to go back to your doctor and describe in detail the pain that you are experiencing. I had numerous tests done when I experienced similar symptoms a few years ago (also around the time of a really bad break up, it was nothing to do with the break up, I did have a stomach ulcer but even when that was cured the pain continued) but have only recently found something that can stop the pain (it was a type of stomach remedy,which I have suffered from on and off for the past few years). Sometimes it can take a long time to get the correct diagnosis, my best friend had to wait 10 years before he was diagnosed with a serious stomach complaint, he was sent to counsellors etc during that time...thankfully he was eventually diagnosed with his medical condition but suffered a lot as a conseqence of this.

LegacyUser

So your doc didn't prescribe Zoloft or Paxil or something like that to re-set your nervous system?

Maybe seek a second opinion in the medical field.

I would also recommend that you get out and get more exercise.

And do some volunteer work! Helping others less fortunate will help keep your mind off of your own issues.

Hope this helps.

Half a year is far too long to feel this way! You have to kick into gear sooner or later.

Black Swan

Painfully aware wrote:

I admit to missing her terribly, but its gone and I have accepted that, but I still listen to 'our' songs and cry myself to sleep at night. There is no chance of me and her getting back to together and it isnt the first heartbreak I have had in life either.

Glad you have sought professional help. Smart on your part. Yes, it may sound a little cliche' but love can hurt. There is a book, Death and Dying, which may be of interest to you? Although your GF did not die, you are going through a period of grief after her loss. There is some useful information that is well researched which may be of interest to you in this book that may help you, if in fact your loss is the source of your pain. Sorry, I cannot remember the author's name.

teagan

My sister had what seems fairly similar symptoms as you are describing when she split from her husband. She really didn't believe it was stress related either as she had been very stressed before with no symptoms. She went to four different doctors and for every type of scan etc etc. It seemed like every week she was in hospital getting tests. She'd wake during the night thinking she couldn't breathe or thinking she was about to have a heart attack or thinking she had a brain tumour because the headaches were so bad. Everything came back clear. She would grab her head or her leg or her chest saying she was getting unbearable shooting/stabbing like pains and she'd feel sick. Turns out it was all stress. Absolutley nothing at all physically wrong with her. That was six months ago and she's perfectly fine now.

metrovelvet

OP - You really need to start taking control of this right now.

It sounds like the anxiety has led to a bunch of auto-immune issues. Ive been there - bad breakup - asthma, anaphylactic shock to most foods, ulcers, just above flatline in hospital - IT WILL RUIN YOUR LIFE!! Migraine and stomach are auto immune related. Be careful......

I have 4 doctors. None of them could figure out what was wrong with me. None of them know now how I got better.

Take charge before this takes over your life.

1. See a shrink for the anxiety.

2. Do yoga.

3. Eliminate all reminders of your ex.

4. Stop listening to depressing music.

5. Stay away from drugs and alcohol until you are better.

I know you are heartbroken and it really hurts you right now and probably feels like it will never end, that a day wont arrive when you will not miss her, but it will come. For right now, your body is letting you know that it cant take anymore emotional stress.

Darragh29

I have a gastric ulcer and this sounds EXACTLY what I was going through before I got put on medication for it and thankfully all is fine now, once I can forget about the 80 Euro cost of medication per month. Having said that, I can see from your post that you have probably been cleared for this through the tests you went for so maybe my post is a waste of time but it does sound very very familar tbh.

Darragh29

Darragh29 wrote:

I have a gastric ulcer and this sounds EXACTLY what I was going through before I got put on medication for it and thankfully all is fine now, once I can forget about the 80 Euro cost of medication per month. Having said that, I can see from your post that you have probably been cleared for this through the tests you went for so maybe my post is a waste of time but it does sound very very familar tbh.

Futher to above, stress can be a contributory factor in the arrival of a gastric ulcer. Also, if you are stressed and not eating properly, same can happen. The medication I am on for my ulcer is called Nexium, and all my symptoms dissappeared since I started taking it. Maybe you should ask your GP if this is worth a try and if he agrees at all, to stick you on them for a month??? They start working after two days and I would not have a good quality of life if I was not on them, wouldn't enjoy food or drink, constant pain in my stomach, tightness in my stomach, almost permjanent heartburn and acid reflux, getting sick when I shouldn't be getting sick, etc. If you notice no change, you can just stop taking them. You can only get these tablets on prescription. Just an idea, would not suggest this approach if you were not in a medical cul-de-cac so to speak! Just for the avoidance of doubt, I'd obviously run all this by your GP but if I was in your position, I'd take the lead on your health problem and tell the doctor what you wanted to try. I imagine GP's love when someone with a health problem like what you have comes along, more consultations at 50 Euro a pop, take the initiative and tell him you want to try x,y or z is my advice... Last but not least, I was sent for OGD tests (camera down throat) and barium meal tests (horrible drink you have to swallow with radioactive isotopes in it that show up on x-ray, and these missed my ulcer, I changed my GP and my new GP with no fancy equipment diagnosed my ulcer, gave me a prescription for it and I haven't looked back since.

Victor

Painfully aware wrote:

They think it may be related to stress, yet I have had stressful times before and never this.

Stress is cumulative - it merely takes a straw to break the camel's back.