Going at it for the first time...

LegacyUser

Myself and my girlfriend have begun fooling around a bit (with protection i might add). We're mostly just using our hands at the moment (both inside and outside for her). The thing is after a few mins she usually asks me to stop as it begins to hurt. I believe this is normal as she's a virgin (as am i ), but is there anything i could do to stop hurting her/make it more pleasurable for her?

Neither of us know too much about the whole thing

kdouglas

be a bit more gentle...

dont just go at it like a jackhammer, use a more massaging motion

if she's a little dry, then consider getting some lube, the durex lube is good and can be bought in boots/most chemists

Ruu_Old

Be careful with her, theres more things to work on that down there also.

Oryx

Posting a link that might help. http://www.thesite.org/sexandrelationships/havingsex/performanceproblems/clitorisconfidenceOther than that, whats already been said, go easy, and use some kind of lube, otherwise it can get stingy or painful. Wish ya luck.:)

Marksie

First time. wrote:

Myself and my girlfriend have begun fooling around a bit (with protection i might add). We're mostly just using our hands at the moment (both inside and outside for her). The thing is after a few mins she usually asks me to stop as it begins to hurt. I believe this is normal as she's a virgin (as am i ), but is there anything i could do to stop hurting her/make it more pleasurable for her?

Neither of us know too much about the whole thing

well the first thing is to take it very gently at a pace that suits her. concentrate on the body rather than the genitals and experiment with different types of strokes and touches from light to firmer at different times
you are just learning together and it is beautiful special time. lots off kisses always help too!!!

Really just learn to be together and touch each other..take as long as you want and dont rush... build the foundations well and everything will fall into place after that.
be as passionate or giggly as you want

For touching the genitals, be very gentle to begin with, talk to her ask if its feeling good, would she like more or less pressure, slower or faster.
explore more than the clitoris..this can get very sensitive very quickly is stimualted directly.. move around the clitoral hood and down the gap between the clitoris and the vagina...
the labial liips can be stroked very gently and is intensely pleasureable.
when approaching teh vagina, dont insert staight away ,but tease and explore it. use a lubricant if necessary and only one finger.

Let what you do be guided by her responses..she is learning as you are learning. keep that communication going.

Gently tease apart before entering and just move very slowly at first until she accepts you... again light pressure and ask if she would like more.

she will tell you is d she wants faster or slowwer or firmer.

At some point you may want to move your finger to teh top wall of the vagine (her pubic bone area)... about one inch in you will feel a roughened patch. VERY gentkly rub that or stroke by bending the finger in a come hither gesture.
ask her how it feels before going fater or firmer.
That is the G-spot. and alot of people never find that..if you do its very very special

realy use this time to communicate openly.
and dont forget let her explore you too .. by both being open and exploring like that you will find that you will be amazed at how things will develop between you

LegacyUser

Yeah the first couple of times, if ye are both virgins can be a painful fumble accompanied by numerous untold pleasures. But u def have the first part right. The fact that she can say to you, "hang on, that hurts a lot" is a great thing. U should be able to tell her the same too when she hurts you, (and she quite possibly will).
First off, if it hurts for you to put fingers inside her, focus on and around the clitoral area with some lube on your hands, or else use your tongue (try to strike a balance between speed and softness, based on the feedback u are getting from her). Its always best to make sure its ok for her to tell u exactly what feels good and whats too much. Often direct contact with the clit can be too much for a woman, and will not be very pleasurable, so u may want to focus on the clitoral hood (this is the flap that covers the clitoris slightly) move this, with two wet fingers. U can start by putting the clit area between your two fingers, and moving from left to right. (For some reason most guys will automatically start moving up and down rather than left to right across the clit, but left to right is preferable with an inexperienced girl) Dont even penetrate her initially. U can slip one finger slightly inside, but sort of rotate it a little, rather than, u know, shoving it up as far as you can go and just jackhammering away. Your fingers are able to bend a lot more than your dick can, so use this ability to stimulate areas your penis could never reach near the mouth of the vagina, rather than just shoving it up and down inside her. U want her to be relaxed enough to be able to get very very wet (because this will make it a lot less sore for her) so a good starter is, ok this is all hard to explain. Can u move your two fingers (index and middle fingers) in a bicycle riding motion? Just keep the tips of your fingers at her lips, and start the bicycle motion whilst very slightly inside her. This should loosen her up with out hurting, because what you are doing is manipulating her lips to allow the wetness to soften up her vaginal lips and her clit, as well as internal areas. Basically communication with her is the name of the game, make sure u can both say "Oh keep doing that its incredible" And u can also say "EEk stop the ride I wanna get off!!!" And now after all this I suddenly have to hide my identity and go unsigned in case of a huge deluge of "what the **** are you talking about."
Women dont have as much feeling once you are further than two inches "in" so to speak, so the mouth (for want of a better word) of the vagina is definitely where the party is at if you are hurting her at the moment. If you put your fingers inside her, make sure that you are totally stimulating the first two inches of the vagina, and not going far enough to hurt. Your fingers should always slide in easily if you are sleeping with an inexperienced girl, so if it seems dry down there, pull your fingers out a little, or get some more lube, because stimulating that dry area could hurt her. Generally rubbing along the top, you will feel a sort of line of flesh going into the vagina, this is often good to stimulate with your index finger by rubbing from left to right.
U see at the moment, your sex organs are both new to this sort of touching, therefore incredibly sensitive which can result in embarrassment for u and pain for her, unless u both realise this.

michelle_ie

yeah i agree with OP above.... Ive been with my bf for almost a year and i dont let him inside me cause its so painful there is a little place that a girl loves and a little gentle rubbing is the best thing to do.
good lucK!

LegacyUser

Thanks for the advice. We have no problems communicating what hurts and what doesn't, i would be asking her regularly as i try things etc. Also, she does get quite wet, so that's not really an issue (i must be doing *something* right ).

Another thing... how exactly does giving oral to a women work exactly? I don't really know It's not quite as obvious as what you should do when giving oral to a man

ircoha

First time. wrote:

Thanks for the advice. We have no problems communicating what hurts and what doesn't, i would be asking her regularly as i try things etc. Also, she does get quite wet, so that's not really an issue (i must be doing *something* right ).

Another thing... how exactly does giving oral to a women work exactly? I don't really know It's not quite as obvious as what you should do when giving oral to a man

The web is full of stuff on giving oral on a women, just google or wikipedia
eg http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fellatio#Cunnilingus

However read a few different descriptions as there are different variations.

From experience if you can be underneath with your head/ neck supported then.......:)

Marksie

ircoha wrote:

From experience if you can be underneath with your head/ neck supported then.......:)

I find head betwee the legs easier on the neck and you can reach further.
Try just gentle strokes on or around the clitoris.. it may be very sensitive. Whatever you do dont do what they do on porn movies.
Try licking and flicking the tongue also twirling the tongue..move down between the clitoris and vaginal opening and lick there as well.
Also try long strokes up and down hitting every point until you come back to specific areas.
vary the pressure..and speed. try low and gentle and fast and gentle before moving to frimer strokes.
Suck gently all over as well
PLace your mouth round the whole area and hum.. see what happens
Remember to breath through the nose and get yourself in a comfortable position..a pillow under her makes it a little easier.

An excellent book is "sinful sex" by doctor Pam spur. It gives no less than 12 positions and 9 different types of "mouth magic": licking, lapping, poking, swirling, sucking, kissing, rubbing, flicking and humming
Important..be sure to be smooth shaven, beard rash itches.
dont rush it. play and learn together

in reference to your last post... communicate what feels good as well as what hurts or doesnt.
You will still need lubrication, you can get condom friendly water based lubes, but once your partner is wet, i find that alternating strokes by "wetting" your finger with her natural wetness is better. The clitoris and surrounding area can get a little sore if dry. It is simple to do, when stimulating occasionally just stroke your finger down and inside or around her opening..that will give you enough lubrication to continue..when you begin to feel resisitance lubricate again