Your Faith and Your Community

InFront

I have been thinking about this a lot recently, about how our communities impact upon our faith.
I think that my faith in Islam comes from within me and of course my family, as a gift from God, and something to be very grateful for.

However, I have began to think more and more that my faith is being continually 'softened' by the community I love and I live in. I know some people living in Pakistan and Afghanistan and their faith is so much more serious and solemn and consuming. This is something I admire deeply, yet it seems so unreachable for me.

For example, my attitude to girls and dating would be much different to my cousins in Pakistan. I am comfortable with it as a western man, but Im not sure it is truly right as according to Allah, and I must admit that can be quite worrying for me. I suppose what I am trying to say is that I am finding balancing my culture with my development as a Muslim difficult.

I love my life here, of course, and am grateful for all of the opportunities I am lucky to have been given. But sometimes I fear it is incompatible with my deeper faith, the things we are exposed to being somehow abrasive to our spirituality. It has a sort of 'numbing' effect.

Does this concern anyone else? How do you balance your faith with the community you live in? Sorry if this is a lot of questions, Im thinking out loud on this one:)

the_new_mr

Salam InFront!

I think that your situation is a very common one for people in such a position. I myself was not always religious. I mean, during my late teens, I remember I honestly never drank alcohol (on purpose... except when too young to know any better) nor did anything with girls or stuff but I didn't always pray and other things. I think I used to make myself feel better about not praying by saying things like "I'm a good person, I don't drink, smoke, do drugs, get involved with girls" etc but I know I was just kidding myself really. I know it was wrong for sure.

Most parts of my religion were of course strange to my friends and so this probably didn't help. This was when I was living in Ireland and there were no Muslims anywhere near my age group. I then began to ask myself "Is this really how I want to be?"

I always had a strong belief in the presence of God like you do and was always sure of Islam like yourself but I felt deep down that I wasn't doing what I should be doing. So, I began to pray more frequently. Just bit-by-bit. I didn't try to fix it in one go because you can't. To paraphrase a saying of the Prophet Mohamed (peace be upon him): "The one who runs into the desert on horseback without holding back soon stops and doesn't cover much ground" meaning that someone who tries to become religious in one go is asking too much of him or herself and will lapse back.

So, I decided that I would at least pray all the prayers that I missed during the day in the evening before going to bed if I didn't pray them during the day. Along with praying more regularly, I tried to do things like lessen the use of bad language and things like that. Then, I tried to lessen the frequency of being in bars or clubs. I never drank or anything when I went but I always felt uneasy there.

Then, I moved to somewhere else in Ireland and got a bit more involved with the Muslim community there and this was the catalyst I guess I needed and actually became quite religious over the space of a few years and I thank God for that. I had a lot of people who also didn't go to bars/clubs etc as and also had common interests as friends. This was great for me.

It's funny really, looking back now, I can't imagine how I didn't pray back when I was, say, 17 or 18. Now I don't go to bars or clubs at all and it's been years since I've been in one thank God. Of course, sometimes I miss the odd prayer by a few minutes but, thank God, it is a rare occasion.

So, I guess in keeping with your train of thought, the community atmosphere is indeed very important in being able to fulfil your religious duties. But this shouldn't be a surprise. Islam is a society-based religion and not an individual-based religion. The Prophet Mohamed (peace be upon him) always warned against being alone for too long. Satan pries on the individual.

Believers are meant to remind eachother to pray, to fast, to do good, to keep away from evil etc. A verse from the Quran shows this quite well.

Al-Tauba:71
"AND [as for] the believers, both men and women they are close unto one another: they [all] enjoin the doing of what is right and forbid the doing of what is wrong, and are constant in prayer, and render the purifying dues, and pay heed unto God and His Apostle. It is they upon whom God will bestow His grace: verily, God is almighty, wise!"

In God's wisdom, He knows what's best for ourselves and when we do what we should and keep away from what we shouldn't do, it's better for us both in the life of this world and the hereafter.

And when you say that

InFront wrote:

it seems so unreachable

remember that it's possible for everyone. A hadith qudsi (sacred hadith). I'm not 100% sure of the authenticity but I'm pretty sure it is authentic.

The Prophet (saw) also said: "Allah s.w.t. says: 'Indeed I am as My servant presumes Me to be, and I am with him when he remembers Me, so if he remembers Me to himself I remember him to Myself, and if he remembers Me amongst a company I remember him amongst a company greater than it, and if he draws near to Me the span of a hand I draw near to him the span of two outstretched arms, and if he takes a step towards Me I hastily step towards him

I pray to God that you find the spirtual strength you're looking for and make the progress your deeper faith seems to be yearning for.

Wibbs

For what it's worth... I think most people who live in another culture fear and feel a part of them is getting diluted. It can be a good or bad thing and go both ways too. The culture they find themselves in can change because of their influence, even in small ways. So long as you don't lose yourself and most people don't especially if you have the opportunity to hang around with people from similar backgrounds. The balance is the thing. You also don't want to go down the road of excluding yourself from the culture you find yourself in. That's equally bad. It's like an exageration of the Irish on holiday in greece busy looking for an "Irish" bar that sells "Irish" breakfasts.:D Faiths are a help in that way. Look at the US where the various populations kept much of their culture through the medium of faith, yet we still think of them as yanks. The Irish, the Italians and the Catholic church being one example. Put it another way, if you want to be a devout Muslim there's really nothing stopping you but yourself. This would be true for all people of all religions.

the_new_mr

Yeah, as I said in the post. I had made the decision to become more religious already and was making progress but I found it easier to make more progress in the Muslim community.

And there's nothing wrong with taking things in from, for example, Irish culture if it doesn't conflict with Islam. In fact, anything good should be encouraged.

Rev Hellfire

I can certainly see how a religious (not just Muslim) person could feel that there faith is been 'softened' in a typical western society, which is increasingly hostile to religion practices.

But I wonder if the very act of been a fish out of water is not what strengthens your religion rather than environment where its acceptance is commonplace. I would have thought that in a Muslim country there would have been a more habitual following of Islam whereas here since it’s not so common requires more effort and dedication.

the_new_mr

Well, that's true to a certain extent for sure. Habitual worship and just doing what everyone else is doing comes into it a bit for sure. But religion is supposed to be where people help each other to be religious. Strength in numbers and all that.

Also, although a lot of things are done together, some things are between the individual and God alone. For example, it's a person's own decision to choose whether to pray or not when they're at home, how much to pray, how much focus they devote to the prayer etc. Other things like drinking, drugs etc can all be done on their own.

Add to that the fact that some people in Islamic countries unfortunately go towards bad things means that it's no guarentee that you'll be religious just because you're in a country where that religion is the main one.

Even in a country like that, you have to choose your friends carefully because being in the company of those who try to be good makes all the individuals' will stronger and makes Satan's job harder.