advice needed

LegacyUser

goin unreg for this one.
basically was workin all day, gf (v.good lookin) decided to go to a public event today, and from wot she tells me some wan*ers started tryin 2grope her while she was standing in a que. she was 2 afraid 2 stand up2 em n kept movin away, dey kept hasslin her til some guy pulled her away n told em to **** off.

so im really mad, i ws wrkn all day and i know if i was there it wouldnta happened. I despise assh#les like this. but i feel kinda off with her. I dont kno how2 act with her, n i jus get really angry everytime i think of why teh f*** she didnt turn round an smack em one. an im also suspicious of this dude, part of me is glad he was there when he was, part of me is raging that i wasnt there to get her outa there n deal with those yobs...

an now i jus dunno how to be towards her. how do you react in this situation?pls i need advice i'm gonna flip i want to break something.

dr.bollocko

Dude Its not your fault, the guy who protected ur girlfriends fault or your girlfriends fault either.
I know how u feel, rage is my most favourite dessert. And some prick ****ed with your girl.
But whats she to do? Some intimidating **** is ****ing with her, you get scared and freeze or run away.

I reckon if u are a breaker of stuff, punch a few walls or something, u know let it out, but dont get pissed at your GF, its not her fault. Shes fine, and u are fine so bigger picture everything is ok. I reckon she is a bit freaked out about it, just keep silent on it, and let it out some other way.

ferdi

jesus man, chill out. just some drunken fools trying it on, no big deal.

headser wrote:

an now i jus dunno how to be towards her.

your gonna change the way you act towards your girlfriend over this????
total over-reaction if ye ask me dude.

Ruu_Old

Why should you act off with with your girlfriend? She didn't bring any of this on herself at all. People will be gobshiets and theres not a whole lot you can do while you are away from her anyway. If she genuinely felt threatened then she should take up some self defence classes or assertiveness training, maybe that might help.

dr.bollocko

ferdi wrote:

jesus man, chill out. just some drunken fools trying it on, no big deal.


your gonna change the way you act towards your girlfriend over this????
total over-reaction if ye ask me dude.

Yeah. Perfectly summed up.

If u are angry about this, Im afraid its ur problem not hers. Just try and let it out in some other way than at your GF. Remember that she is the victim here not u.
If this pisses u off, then there are a lot of things that ur girlfriend may do or things that may happen to her that you could have the same reaction to, and it isnt really warranted. Its something u will have to rise above when u are around her, and try and find some coping mechanism urself. Like a punchbag or something

Hagar

You have inadvertantly discovered the fabric of our society.
Decent people protecting others in need.
All you have to do is act likewise in a similar situation.
Pass it on and decency will flourish.

LegacyUser

cheers for all teh responses, really appreciate it. i suppose d best thing i can do is let her kno im there an that im gonna protect her. i detest brazen idiot pric*s like these who claim to be men, who pick on those that are smaller or more vunerable an would slink away at d threat of a challenge from sum one of their own size...

someday...somewhere...they'll get a taste of their own medicine...if it were me, id give em an overdose of it. thanks again.

LundiMardi

sounds like you're pissed off because some other guy got to be the knight in shining armour?

aidan24326

Headser, very aggressive tone in your posts. Ok, some dude tried to feel up your girlfriend, not nice but not the end of the world either. You say she's very good-looking so unfortunately it's something she might encounter from time to time, be thankful somebody was kind enough to see that she needed some assistance.
However you sound like you're mostly pissed off with missing a chance to flex your muscles and beat your chest like Tarzan. If she isn't making too big a deal of it then neither should you be. And if/when it happens again just think twice before you wade in giving it the big one.
And why the hell would you be 'a bit off with her'? It's her that had the creepy experience not you. And you're 'suspicious of this dude' what the hell? Is he not just some guy who saw a girl in a bit of bother and helped her out? Jesus man you need to chill out a bit here. There is something very strange about your post, you sound like one of these very posessive guys who sees a girlfriend as 'his' property, and is jealous and insecure of any other guy getting anywhere near 'his' woman. You are completely over-reacting to what was a pretty minor incident.

StandnDeliver

i think you should give some respect to your poor gf,because saying or implying it was her fault in some way by not telling them **** off is well worrying.
thank god some guy was there to feck off,god knows how you'd react if something worse had happened the poor girl.Maybe you should really think about that.

Aard

Don't be mad at your girlfriend for not telling them off; she was probably afraid of what they'd do to her if she did. After all, they didn't have any problems groping her in the first place.

And don't be mad at the guy who helped her. Imagine what might've happened were he not there.

You have a right to be angry at the idiots who did it to her though. Maybe talk to her about it and ask her how she feels, after all she should be more stressed about this than you.

LegacyUser

I was in your girlfriends situation a few weeks ago. A very aggresive, persistant man made several attempts to grab/grope me at a club.
I blantanly told him to f*** off within earshot of other people. He'd disappear for a while and then he'd appear behind me at the bar or behind me on the dance floor.
In the last instance, he actually grabbed me, hurting me, before i could react, another guy, who i didn't know from adam, managed to get a hold of him while someone attracted the bouncers attention.
I was extremely grateful for his intervention. I am assertive but sometimes you need a "male" presence to make a point.
I have a boyfriend and didn't think for one second that he should have been there. It was an unfortunate one off incident, and I am very grateful that there was someone who saw the situation and was willing to help.
Please don't judge your girlfriend or make her feel different. Tho I was shaken at the time, I've written it off. Drunk gob****e isn't worth the energy.

milod

headser wrote:

but i feel kinda off with her. I dont kno how2 act with her, n i jus get really angry everytime i think of why teh f*** she didnt turn round an smack em one. an im also suspicious of this dude, part of me is glad he was there when he was, part of me is raging that i wasnt there to get her outa there n deal with those yobs...

an now i jus dunno how to be towards her. how do you react in this situation?pls i need advice i'm gonna flip i want to break something.

How about some sympathy for her?! You need to get over the caveman attitude - you're behaving as if someone has soiled your property. And don't expect a woman to behave like a neanderthal either by smacking them one - do you have any understanding of how frightening it is for a woman in this sort of situation?!

It was an unfortunate event, and I'm sure your g/f understands that you can't be there to protect her 'virtue' 24 hours per day!

You obviously feel some guilt about this as you excuse your absence by telling us you were 'wrkn' (did you text this from your phone btw?)

OP, I'd say you're quite young, but you have a lot of growing up to do...

LegacyUser

yeah you're all right, Lundimardi, I will openly admit I was mad at the fact that I was not there to defend her at a time when she was vunerable and intimidated, not at the fact that i ''didnt have a chance to play her knight and shining armour'', If i was there, it would most definately not have happened....Im a fairly collected guy, thats the first time that that has happened.
as for being possessive, im not im more protective and i trust her completely. I was raging that some moron trying to act the alpha male put her in a position whereby she felt too weak to stand up for herself. no person should ever be put in that situation. thinking bout it, im glad that guy stepped in when he did, i would have done the same if i was in his shoes. so at least chivalry is not dead yet. there is hope. but too many people are content to let these yobs hide behind the mask of ''ah sure he's only a drunken gob****e'', I dont care, drink or no drink, no one has a right to make a person, a woman, feel that way.

The Sweeper

headser wrote:

I dont care, drink or no drink, no one has a right to make a person, a woman, feel that way.

Then try to stop being weird at her because you're probably making her feel rotten as well.

LegacyUser

headser - do U live in d real wurld ?
**** happens ! Learn to deal with
it.

And if U were there, what would U do ?
Fisticuffs - I suppose ?