Really like her but she has a boyfriend

LegacyUser

nothing life-threatening or anything here, but here goes....

I was at a party the other night in a friends' house and was talking to this really great girl, she's a friend of a friend... We got on really well and have quite a lot in common. We also ended up being the last two awake at the end of the night and stayed up talking until about 5/6 in the morning talking, but....... she has a boyfriend.

nothing (physical) happened between us, i don't want to be the guy that causes problems in someone else's relationship, but i know* she was definately interested in me

I dont know how long she's been going out with her boyfriend, but i would definately like to get to know her more.

I didnt get her number that night or the next morning before everybody headed home, but i could easily ask a mutual friend for it, thing is, should i bother?

*when i say i know she likes me, i mean she actually said she does, im not just assuming she did because we got on well

Chinafoot

She has a boyfriend. Unless she ends her relationship with this guy I'd suggest leaving well enough alone.

If she likes you then maybe this will happen. Then again maybe you were just a nice guy that she met at a party and had a good chat with, not someone she is going to dump her boyfriend over.

Ruu_Old

You don't want to be the person who broke them up as you mentioned so I would just leave it at that. Their relationship is none of your business really and any further advances made towards you, I would tell her to have a chat with her boyfriend (well at least thats what I would do if I were in your shoes)

lostone

Yea...dont make any advances on her...I made the mistake of doing that to a girl who had a bf and i just felt rotten about it and was angry at myself...It is not worth it...it gets people pissed at you and her bf will not be happy...get her email and talk on msn but keep it light and wait...she may go for you and lose her bf or she may not but youll be happier in the long run if you dont mess up anothers relationship...IF YOU KNOW HE/SHE HAS A PARTNER YOUR JUST AS GUILTY AS THEY ARE...thats how i feel..

Colm_OReilly

To use a cliche all is fair in love and war.

To use another, follow your heart.

How do you know she isn't motivated to stay in this relationship out of familiarity or fear of being alone?

How do you know how he'll react? Out of fear of losing her? How can you be certain he won't react positively to this?

My point is you don't know how they'll react. All you can be certain of is your reactions and behaviours.

i don't want to be the guy that causes problems in someone else's relationship, but i know* she was definately interested in me

That sounds like a conflict between what you want and what you believe you should do/act like.

On the other hand, to use one more cliche, strike while the iron's hot. Had you progressed things to a romantic level (even just having that intention without physical escalation) that night it could have been different. It could have just been the moment, and now when you contact her she mightn't be in that frame of mind.

However, once again, you can't be certain of that.

There was a situation a while ago where I spoke to a girl hanging on to the end of her relationship. I didn't "convince" her to end it, but just had a good time with her. She left the guy after that, as previously she'd only been hanging on since it was what she was used to, even though it was making her happy.

If the relationship is truly mutually beneficial, any outside influence will only strengthen it.

Hope this helps, take some risks,
Colm

neuro-praxis

I think if somebody isn't married, then fair game. No need to "make advances", just let her know that you're definitely interested and then let her make the decisions. You've got nothing to lose.

Best of luck, but don't hold your breath!

Dragan

I would simply say that yeah, she has a boyfriend, so leave well enough alone.

Besides, if she would leave him for you, what makes you think she would never leave you for someone else?

Vegeta

Dragan wrote:

I would simply say that yeah, she has a boyfriend, so leave well enough alone.

Besides, if she would leave him for you, what makes you think she would never leave you for someone else?

couldn't have said it better

Gordon

Go for it. Unless you are mates with her boyfriend of course.

Surely the argument of "if she would leave him for you, what makes you think she would never leave you for someone else?" isn't applicable unless you could prove that the person has never considered leaving someone for another in their life.

If she's the type of person to dump her boyfriend for you then she'll be the type of person to dump you for another. If she isn't the type of person to dump her man for you then you have no chance until they have split up. And if she does dump the guy, and then dumps the OP - it obviously wasn't meant to be. So what's the big deal?

If one doesn't try to go out with a person with a partner then it is severely limiting one's choices. I know several women that also rely on jumping from one man to the next, they never spend time apart. Some people just cannot be alone and will wait until something better comes along.

I reckon the OP should get her number and ask her out, if he is the cause of the couple breaking up then the couple aren't meant to be together.

Dragan

Gordon wrote:

If she's the type of person to dump her boyfriend for you then she'll be the type of person to dump you for another. If she isn't the type of person to dump her man for you then you have no chance until they have split up. And if she does dump the guy, and then dumps the OP - it obviously wasn't meant to be. So what's the big deal?

Just trying to give the OP a sense of realism is all. SUre, it's great to fancy some bird who is going out with someone....but you need to realise that you are asking her to give up a relationship she already has to start one with you.

I imagine she tells her Boyfriend she loves him, and if she does not anymore then has done in the past.

Just hinting to the OP that getting the girl is not the be all and end all, stuff can still go wrong and heart broken and he needs to be willing to deal with that.

po0k

Been in a very similar situation, it sucks.

You could be in a "holding pattern", you could be an edifying/ego-building side-project for her, or she could be caught in a moral and emotional quandry.

"A Woman's Heart" etc.

Go for it man, get her number. If ye get on well, there's no reason for ye not to at least be friends. Have a chat, ask her what you want to know, be friends, go for broke or forget about her.
But do *something* besides troubling yourself with aimless "wondering".
Also, you only know her from one evening. You're smitten. Play it cool Jack.

Kell

shouldibother wrote:

*when i say i know she likes me, i mean she actually said she does, im not just assuming she did because we got on well

I had an entire room full of women tell me they like me on Saturday night. They are all gay however and not likely to leave their partners in the near future nor be converted to my way of thinking.

Just because some girl tells you she likes you doesnt mean she wants your body. Jeebus, friends girlfriends tell me they like me all the time. I dont go off and have a fantasy about them though.

I suggest you look at it as "she thought I was a nice person" and be happy with that. I sometimes prefer to be thought of as a nice human being as opposed to just being a sex god . Makes my heart swell.

K-

LegacyUser

hmmmm....

i think for now i'll get her number and just txt her and say hi, if she wants to be friends or get to know me more then fair enough, if not, then that's also fine.

I dont know her boyfriend or how long they've been together, but i'm not going to do anything that might damage their relationship....

ircoha

The old school here, have a bunch of flowers delivered to her work, c/w a note to say how much you enjoyed her company etc and your number and sit tight.

LegacyUser

ircoha wrote:

The old school here, have a bunch of flowers delivered to her work, c/w a note to say how much you enjoyed her company etc and your number and sit tight.

Please please please do not do that! That screams stalker!

In a very similar situation myself. I'm just hoping that they split up soon... Or that I meet someone else so I can get my mind of him.

All's fair in love in war.

Tar.Aldarion

I like people with bf's a lot, sucks eh?
I would just leave them be, if she likes me/you she would leave the guy and come to er, us.

I wouldn't ever cause trouble in a relationship, just keep my feelings under tight wraps and jokes. I think you should do likewise...


As said, be friends, go for broke or forget about her.
I choose one or three ususally...

LegacyUser

figure ill go for option number 1, would like to be friends either way to be honest

LegacyUser

Very same situation happened to me once. But it was a while before I found out she had a boyfriend. At that stage I was way too into her to back down. I didn't know the guy so found it very hard to feel bad. I hung out with her and knew there was some mutual attraction there.

I didn't try it on with her and after a few weeks she broke up with her boyfriend and we started dating.

I'm still in love with her years later.

So - you never know. Naturally though, if you know her boyfriend then don't do this.

Man - this is one of the only times I've ever played Devil's Advocate. I like it.

Jotter

i wouldnt text her its too personal if she didnt actually give you her no. I would ask this mutual friend to let her know you said hello and get them to suss her out a bit, maybe say you were looking for her no and its up to her then if she wants to give it to you. She could have had a few drinks and although she liked you she might have woken up the next day relieved that nothing had actually happened and hearing directly from you might make her feel uncomfortable. I saw someone said about flowers - deffo dont do it - this happened a friend and she showed her boyf and he went mad, she wasnt interested in the guy in that way and just avoided him like the plague from there on in.

LegacyUser

jesus christ, im going unreg for this, it amazes me the type of tripe posted in PI these days in response to a moral/ethical connundrum, some of you- you should never be allowed to even give someone directions as you'd send them so far the wrong way...

How many of you guys here actually have a gf? or had? and im speaking specifically to the select few who decided to go with the alls fair in love and war attitude...what the hell?

What if it was your girlfriend he was trying to get with? would you back him and tell him to go for it then?! some of you amaze me, how can you possibly endorse breaking up a relationship or advocating any type of split?! i wish ye'd all stop thinking about the tent in ye'r pants and have a bit of consideration.

to the OP, leave her alone. if i was the boyfriend, and i found out who you were...just leave her alone. dont text her, dont email her. you were just a person who she was talking to. you feel for her this way, thats fine. its none of your business how she's getting on or not with her bf. if she likes you she'll come and find you when things are over.

i can guarantee you it will come back to haunt you. it always does. leave her alone. go and play with someone else who isn't taken.

guys, would you ever bloody think before you inspire someone to start poking at any type if a crack in the relationship. if youre desparate for a girl, go be desparate somewhere else, and dont advocate the split of 2 people. theres a reason why they are together in the first place.

if you wnt someone to see ye'r willy, hire a hooker.

otherwise, on your bike.

LegacyUser

shouldibother wrote:

hmmmm....

i think for now i'll get her number and just txt her and say hi, if she wants to be friends or get to know me more then fair enough, if not, then that's also fine.

I dont know her boyfriend or how long they've been together, but i'm not going to do anything that might damage their relationship....

Thats right, keep telling yourself that!
You dont want to be her friend,
you'll be sniffing around this girl waiting in the wings. Pretending to be mr nice!!!

If you going to get her number be upfront about it (most people would prefer that)
Least that way you'll be a man and not a sneak sly git.

Dustaz

earthling wrote:

. theres a reason why they are together in the first place.

.

And theres a reason that they are going to break up if the OP's account is to be believed.

event

Dustaz wrote:

And theres a reason that they are going to break up if the OP's account is to be believed.

thats what he wants to see though

some of the answers are pathetic, ye should take a look at yourselves

metrovelvet

If you steal her, you cant be sure that you arent the transitionary guy used as the stepping stone to freedom.

Gordon

event wrote:

thats what he wants to see though

some of the answers are pathetic, ye should take a look at yourselves

Explain please.

LegacyUser

you're all so selfish with the exception of a few, op- leave the girl alone.
she has boyfriend.

quote:
''And theres a reason that they are going to break up if the OP's account is to be believed''

what a pathetic excuse for an answer. desparate people like you really p*** me off, it selfish, its arrogant and frankly childish behaviour. op- you want what you can't morally have. if they break up, sure she might come looking for you, you're within your rights to do whaat you like then. but until then stay well clear of her.

think about it...what if you were going out with her and a similar situation ensued with another guy becoming curious and poking his nose in...im sure you wouldnt take too kindly to it- would you? in fact you;d prob be posting about this other guy and what you're gonna do to him etc etc ad nauseum.

the rest of you ''devils advocates'' should put youurselves in this position too before you all go running your mouths off.

OP (im only talking about the bunch who are trying to play devils advocate...wtf?!) do yourself a favour, if you're looking for advocation of breaking up a relationship, jesus you've picked the most obvious place to look...a bunch of forum users who have nothing better to do than give you half arsed answers, and tell you to go for it because thay cant get any themselves, sit behind a computer fantasising and are jealous of what ''everyone'' but them has...give me a break.

you'll get productive and morally right answers here from SOMe posters, not all. the PI crowd are usually spot on. its the select bunch of idiots that dispense idiotic desparation saturated advice.

go find another hobby. ludo or something. its more productive than sitting at home fantasising about what you cant have. theres plenty more fish in the sea. and they all dont come with as much hassle as this...

ask a stupid question and you'll get many stupid, ignorant answers, peppered with the odd good ones.

Gordon

earthling calm down mate! Calling some answers on this thread stupid and ignorant isn't a good way to go about arguing your case. And calling some posters idiots dispensing idiotic desperation will earn you no right to reply.

What if it was your girlfriend he was trying to get with? would you back him and tell him to go for it then?! some of you amaze me, how can you possibly endorse breaking up a relationship or advocating any type of split?! i wish ye'd all stop thinking about the tent in ye'r pants and have a bit of consideration.

I personally wouldn't have a problem with it. The only time I had a problem with that was when I was insecure about the relationship I was in. I didn't love the girl I was with and the relationship wasn't built on anything solid. But I feared losing her for some strange reason. And I did lose her. And it was all for the best.

If people aren't meant to be together then they shouldn't be together. Another person in the mix will simply act as a catalyst and speed the whole process up. The good thing is that it will be like ripping a plaster off quickly whereas the bad thing is that one side will undoubtedly get hurt. However, this will happen anyway eventually, so it's all for the best.

metrovelvet

Gordon - I can see how in that instance what your saying makes sense, but I know many examples of third party interference which has destroyed many a worthwhile relationship. Im sure you do to if you think about it.

Gordon

I don't think so mv, I could be wrong and have forgotten an event or two with people I know but I don't think I know of any worthwhile relationship destroyed by third party interferance.

I know of a great deal of relationships that have stopped due to there being someone else (and that's not talking about third party intervention solely), but no worthwhile relationships being destroyed. Third party intervention in my experience has tended to solve failing relationships by cutting them short and sparing everyone (friends included) months or even years more of pain and suffering from a drawn out ordeal.

Tar.Aldarion

I can think of ones where the relationship was not failing, it's much more likely a relationship is though.

LegacyUser

Nobody's forcing the girl to break up with her current boyfriend. If she does so it's her choice - all this guy is doing is letting her know that he likes her. She's perfectly capable of saying 'no thanks, I have a guy I'm happy with'.

Calling everyone childish, selfish and immature is a bit immature in itself.

To be honest - when someone falls for someone hard then they really don't think about much else except trying to be with that person. Obviously if it's a friend or acquaintance of theirs then they should back down but I say if you really really like someone (and aren't just looking to shag them) and they like you too then go for it. Life's too short to spend time looking back at what could have been.

The one time I did this I did it cause I was falling madly for the girl. She felt the same, she left her then boyfriend and we are still both hugely in love with each other years later so I don't see that one coming back to haunt me ever. In fact I'm thankful I went out on a limb and told her how I felt.

You're right - nobody would want someone coming on to their girlfriend but if you're secure in your relationship then you'd accept that it happens and you just have to trust your partner to say no to people. It takes two you know. If someone goes off with someone else then it's probably cause something wasn't right between the couple in the first place. Just because someone expresses an interest in you it's not enough to make you suddenly go off and cheat if the thought had never crossed your mind in the first place.

So - there you go. I say to you earthling that you've obviously never been in the situation of falling in love with someone that's attached. If you had then you'd soon change your way of thinking

LegacyUser

who are you as the third party to decide if the relationship is a worthwhile one or not???????!!!!

do you not think that is for the two people in the relationship? often times in relationshops, especially worthwhile ones ''the grass is greener on the other side syndrome'' kicks in and all it takes is for someone to come along and something stupid happens for the person to realise...''oh know what have i done''...

hey presto perfectly worthwhile relationship ruined.

some of you think im being a bit harsh and extreme. and maybe i am. but the fact remains, a relationship is between 2 people- end of. marraiges break up over this kinda crap. extreme example i know but its true.

what suprises me is that some people are so brazen about the fact that its an ok thing to do when it clearly, from a moral point if view is not. should you not have some respect for the other guy? This infactaution you speak of i.e. being on the other side of the coin- its the chase you like lads, its the thrill of obtaining something you cant have but you could if you poked and pryed a little bit more...it sickens me.

relationship psychoanalysis is almost a vouyeristic phenomonon, a fetish these days...someone always in the wings waiting for one person in a relationship to split up. then move in like a vulcher as soon as an opportunity arises. If you truly loved the person, you would forget about him/her or do your very best to and realise that some things are just not meant to be and that just because this person is friendly to you, it is not a cue to jump in and try and rock the boat. stand back and respect what they have with the other person. it is not up to you to play the catalyst, it will happen if it is truly meant to be. otherwise it wont. dont be waiting for it, move on with your life and let your ove interest in their relationship do the same. do not speculate to accumulate in matters of love. if you truly love that someone else, you will respect that she's happy in her relationship, respect ther partner.

if she's unhappy in the relationship and she has expressed concern to you, fair enough, thats cool, but stay well back. she will come to you if she wants to, if she wants to leave she will leave, but respect what exists without personal bias what she has with her partner.

i have been on both sides of the coin. it is not a nice feeling being the partner. and i can appreciate what its like to long someone from afar. but i stick by my argument.

its none of your business.
leave her alone.
respect her.
respect her partner.
respect that you do ont have the right to interfere and by doing so have disrespected the bond that exists between two people.

recognise what love and what lust is. if you love her, you'll let her be happy.
and in the relationship yeah you'll let her go if you love her but not without a fight.

i have seen so much hurt caused by people who think they know better and it always hurts someone. always. i know people who have taken their own lives due to similar incidents. i just wish people would stand back, respect what is there without making a judgement call and leave well enough alone.

sorry if i ofended anyone, its not personal, but i just think that advocating selfishness and greed for the sake of your own personal happiness at the expense of something that exists between two people is wrong. and if you truly truly looked into yourselves you'd realise it was wrong too.

look at what we've become- the average marraige only lasts 3.5 years, a 55% divorce rate, its a disgrace. and a lot of it is over stuff like this. i see it every day in my line of work.

OP at the end of the day you're gonna do what you wanna do, but i think you should leave well enough alone.

oh and the ''i often wondered what might have happened if...'' excuse is just a shallow attempt and cry for help at someone to justify what thoughts you've been having. i often wondered what would have happened if i never met this person...oh i dont know...maybe you'd be in love with another person?!

Think. that is all.

Victor

earthling wrote:

look at what we've become- the average marraige only lasts 3.5 years, a 55% divorce rate, its a disgrace. and a lot of it is over stuff like this. i see it every day in my line of work.

Are you sure about that?

Miguel_Sanchez

The girl the OP is talking about isn't married. He's not suggesting that he does anything with the girl until she's single so I don't see it as being 'immoral'.

Also - the average marriage lasts 3.5 years. In what country? I don't think Ireland has that high a divorce rate yet - I'd need to see some proof before I'd believe that.

LegacyUser

third party interference is a fact of life.
And quite rightly its the GF that would have choice to tell OP to feck off or not as he wishes.
Just because you currently have a bf/gf doesnt mean you 'own' them etc.


What I have a serious issue with is the OP, trying to convince himself (and us) that he just wants to be friends. That imo is complete BS and he just trying to justify future actions, its a smoke screen for the following

He'll be the 'friend' who has this girls ear and will be bad mouthing the bf at every stage he can. ( OP will say he wont but self interest will kick in)

IMO the OP should be up front and just tell this girl he likes and would like to pursue a relationship with her. The 'friend route' is just underhanded, ungentlemanly and slightly cowardly/ sneaky and snivelly.
Thats my 2c I'm sure we'll get the all is far in love and war defence in order to try justify underhandedness

event

Gordon wrote:

Explain please.

do you mean the pathetic comment?

here are some of the suggestions from the previous page

To use a cliche all is fair in love and war.

To use another, follow your heart.

I think if somebody isn't married, then fair game

Go for it. Unless you are mates with her boyfriend of course.

Go for it man, get her number.

The old school here, have a bunch of flowers delivered to her work, c/w a note to say how much you enjoyed her company etc and your number and sit tight.

those answers are wrong and pathetic IMO

this guy talked to a girl for a few hours, and some people think he should jeopardise her relationship because of this?

god, i hope your girlfriends never talk to another man, maybe he'd try and convince her to leave ye

Gordon

event wrote:

those answers are wrong and pathetic IMO

I don't think they are wrong and pathetic.

god, i hope your girlfriends never talk to another man, maybe he'd try and convince her to leave ye

I wouldn't have a problem with that if I was in a stable relationship.

Colm_OReilly

I hope every single girl I'm involved with for the rest of my life isn't limited by my relationship with her. I hope she talks to other men, and get's chatted up. If I'm providing her with the emotions she wants and needs, she'll stay with me.

If not, well we each have to walk our path.

I think so many relationships are borne out of loneliness, or accepting the first person who gives you sexual gratification, and people stay in relationships out of fear of being alone. (I know I did in the past). Be willing to let go.

Peace and Love,
Colm

particles

**** woman, you are one twisted and bitter mess. I can see your failed past relationships singing out. You are going to be messed around with again and again until you lighten your attitude. The bastard inside me (that you keep moaning about) is smiling on that thought.

event

Gordon wrote:

I don't think they are wrong and pathetic.

thats great

i do, thats all i was saying

Fysh

I don't think blaming the OP for fancying a girl who's taken is really all that helpful. He likes her; reckons she might like him. There's a few ways it can go:

A) OP keeps feelings to himself, maintains contact - they become friends. May or may not be enough for him, he may or may not find the infatuation dwindling. Which may lead to or C)

OP tells girl how he feels, she says she wants to stay with the boyfriend. Friendship may or may not happen.

c) OP tells girl how he feels, she decides she's more interested in him than her boyfriend after due consideration.

In every case, both parties have a choice as to whether they interact with the other - there seems to be a strong suggestion here that by flirting with the girl, the OP is somehow "stealing" her from her boyfriend. This is not the case. She can choose to end any relationship she's in if it's no longer what she wants or needs, and that's that. Surely it's more honest to end the relationship because she's met someone who she fancies more, rather than to carry on the initial relationship based on the existing momentum of it and then end up in a position where she'll be constantly tempted to find something better behind her boyfriend's back? (And yes, I've been the boyfriend in this scenario on more than one occasion).

The real choice the OP has to make here is whether he wants to go out on a limb and see how the girl reacts, or just try and ignore his current infatuation. I'd go with Syxpak's advice and say play it cool for now, see how you feel about her after the next couple of times you meet her.

Dustaz

earthling wrote:

quote:
''And theres a reason that they are going to break up if the OP's account is to be believed''

what a pathetic excuse for an answer. desparate people like you really p*** me off, it selfish, its arrogant and frankly childish behaviour.

You got all that from one sentance? Wow, from your 3 epic posts all ive got is that your a bitter and twisted person that hasnt fully recovered from being dumped for another person.

OP (im only talking about the bunch who are trying to play devils advocate...wtf?!) do yourself a favour, if you're looking for advocation of breaking up a relationship, jesus you've picked the most obvious place to look...a bunch of forum users who have nothing better to do than give you half arsed answers, and tell you to go for it because thay cant get any themselves, sit behind a computer fantasising and are jealous of what ''everyone'' but them has...give me a break.

Can you see the irony of sitting at a pc, furiously typing away like a manic woodpecker insulting users on the VERY SAME internet forum? The only difference is that you dont even have the moral courage to register/post under your real username.

Id make a point relating to the actual topic but its been done to death already.

LegacyUser

Fysh wrote:

I don't think blaming the OP for fancying a girl who's taken is really all that helpful. He likes her; reckons she might like him. .

Agreed

But flaming him for being underhanded is what should be happening

Friends !! yeah right thats total BS, he wants more than friendship,
OP will say he wants to be friends but I am 100% sure when the opportunity presents itself he will but his interests first and try to undermine the relationship from the vantage point of a questionable friend

IMO he should just be upfront about his intentions
and not underhanded and sneaky.
He should grow some and just be a man and tell this girl what the real story is, it would show confidence! not cowardness

Fysh

Reg21122222 wrote:

Agreed

But flaming him for being underhanded is what should be happening

Friends !! yeah right thats total BS, he wants more than friendship,
OP will say he wants to be friends but I am 100% sure when the opportunity presents itself he will but his interests first and try to undermine the relationship from the vantage point of a questionable friend

IMO he should just be upfront about his intentions
and not underhanded and sneaky.
He should grow some and just be a man and tell this girl what the real story is, it would show confidence! not cowardness

And you know this about the OP how? You've evidently had some personal experience of people behaving this way (and so have most people at some stage). Stating that everyone will therefore always act this way is unscientific, unprovable, and makes you *sound like* a melodramatic dramaqueen with an axe to grind.

Let's face it. The OP has met this girl once in one environment and is smitten with her. He may meet her again somewhere else and become more smitten, or he might meet her and lose all interest in her. Or he might decide to ignore his feelings and just strike up a friendship with the girl regardless.

You're not in a position to state what his intentions will be if he chooses one course of action, any more than I'm in a position to pass judgement about what you are like as a person. Warning him against striking up a friendship in order to then crack onto her is fair enough; lambasting him in advance because you assume he's going to is not.

LegacyUser

Reg21122222: i agree with Fysh here, you seem to think im some sort of sleazy underhanded person who is purely out to destroy someones relationship. I'M NOT, I have more respect than that.

anyway, I got her number (after a mutual friend asked her first if it was ok to give me her number), we've txt each other a couple of times over the last few days but nothing major, just small talk really, right now i'm not gonna bother txting her again unless she makes contact with me, im leaving the ball in her court so to speak.

She has a boyfriend, and for now i'm not getting in the way of that, but if i should happen to bump into her again when she's single then we'll see what happens.....