Still love him..

LegacyUser

So i broke up with my boyfriend about a yr ago. I did love him and he loved me, but i was going through a bad time emotionally and i couldnt keep the relationship going, i was depressed all the time etc...he didnt know any of this as i just shut him out, he didnt talk to me for a few months but eventually a hello now and again when we saw eachother was all i got which was fine by me.

A few months ago i found while tidying out my room i found a valentines card from him, he had made up a poem and it was so sweet to read it. A month before that when i was transfering stuff into a new wallet and i found a little note that he had put in the old one when we were going out, but i never knew as it was tiny..it just said he loved me, and he used a nickname that only he used to call me by.

So i have spent the last few months thinking about him, havent seen much of him as he doesnt come to my local much anymore. He also has a new girlfriend with a few months. I was at a party on saturday night and he was there with the new girlfriend. I got talking to her and she told me she was dreading meeting me cos everyone was telling her that i would be there and my ex had told her that i was the only girl he loved. To be honest, i didnt really like this girl, she is after moving into his homeplace, and she told me they are getting their names tatooed on eachother. she was generally trying to make a point , that i am out of the scene completely.
i met him again the next day with her and he asked me how was my night and he called me by that nickname again, i hadnt heard it in so long and it was so nice to hear.

So, needless to say, i think i still love him.

should i tell him?
Yes or No..?

neuro-praxis

Yes. But don't apply any pressure. And quietly accept his answer, whatever it might be, and if he is not interested, then back off completely and grieve by yourself. If it works out, great, but if not, then you will get over him.

Kell

what2do wrote:

i think i still love him.

should i tell him?
Yes or No..?

What purpose would that serve? Are you sure you are prepared for the brush off if he is quite content with new GF?

Weigh it up. OK, you still love him but are you going to have to deal with the emotional baggage he may bring to relationship V2, SP1?

To quote myself- *would you stick a fork in your eye knowing it hurts?

K-

*wishing I would take my own advice sometimes.

humanji

Yeah, I agree with Kell. Just let it be. He's moved on and so should you. It's not easy, but it's the right thing to do.

And don't feel too bad about the other girl. Of course she was making a point in what she was saying. She was terrified of meeting you. She wanted to make it sound like her relationship with the guy is just as important as yours was. You can't hold that against her. I'd probably do the same thing in her position.

Crea

You should tell him. Be prepared to go into details about your frame of mind at the time of the breakup.
You will regret it forever if you don't. Now you might regret it if you do cause he might not want to get back together but at least you won't be wondering.

metrovelvet

Yes you should tell him. Get it off your chest.

Nothing may come of it or something may or you may alienate him, but you should tell him.

From his end, he has nothing to fear of hearing it. If he doesnt love you it will mean nothing and he will carry on with his girlfriend, who will no doubtedly see you as a complete threat after this. If he does love you, then ....

LegacyUser

i think i have decided not to tell him, it would be very hard to tell him without the girlfriend knowing, i dont have his number anymore, but i could get it easy, but i think his girlfriend is the possesive type, so she could very well see it, and i never see him much anymore..she is always with him now i heard. She is the type that would literaly beat me around the place if she found out i said anything along those lines to him.
If i see him without her, i might, but if she is around i wont.


Thanks for all the advice.

Anti

you may love him, but i doubt he loves you. As thats the way i would be, But with any luck he might be different

LegacyUser

Sorry ... but I think U have blown it.
He has someone else now.
Get over it.

Sleepy

If he's stupid enough to tattoo a girls name on his body when he's going out with her less than a year are you really still interested? :eek:

Ruu_Old

OP, I don't know if you want to go there at all. One sided love is no good and is going to bring you into a world of hurt. He has someone and you don't really have a right to tamper with their relationship. Be happy for him and you should move on with your life. Best of luck.

Tarakiwa

If the sexes were reversed we would all be saying that "faint heart never won fair lady" .........

Get out there & tell him.

If he rejects you then you MUST be prepared to walk away ....... BUT if you do ask you will either (1) know for sure if it is over or (2) get back with him ...... neither of them are bad outcomes!

Go & tell him!

Good Luck

Grem

Yes, you should tell him.

But bear in mind that its not very fair on his current girlfriend. You wouldnt like if an ex of his declared her love for him especially after just meeting you!

But its your life, your feelings come first. So do it and good luck! If he turns you down at least you'll KNOW and you can put him behind you for good.

super_furry

Tell him. He obviously has no idea you still feel like this and might still feel the same. If he doesn't know that the reason you split up was because you were going through a dark time - you need to explain this to him. He's probably concated up some other idea as to why you split up - most likely that you fell out of love with him.

Tell him and give him space, it might be the best thing you ever do.

LegacyUser

Sleepy wrote:

If he's stupid enough to tattoo a girls name on his body when he's going out with her less than a year are you really still interested? :eek:

well in all fairness, that statement came from her, how i doubt there is much truth in it. I think she might have said it because she might have felt threatened meeting me...? i dont know.

Thanks for al the advice folks.
I will see how things go at the weekend, if i see him.

fuzzywiggle

Yes tell him. Life's too short. Be prepared for the worst though

Marksie

If you tell him and he says no, then how would you feel?

It could open wounds again to be rejected.

You also have to contend with the new girlfriend. But if he feels the same way, then it is a cahynce you should take.

If you DONT tell him, then you will have to move on, for yourself. It will do you no good whatsoever to look back.

Whichever you choose, you really should talk to him about all that happened. Particularly that you shut him out. be more open in your feelings. At the very least it will move out into the open what you have inside you and one way or another it will help you heal

Sony

agree you should tell him for your own sake to get it off your chest.

very unlikely anything will come of it though as it sounds like you totally blew it - there IS a positive from this however in that you've learnt a valuable lesson

tbh

sounds like he could be on the rebound, and maybe he still has feelings for you. In which case, I'd do nothing. Tell him you love him and you'll freak him out, which could lead to him reacting in anger. Say nothing, and if - IF - there is anything there, it sounds like he could realise himself that he still loves you, and maybe come back. Of course, the ideal situation is that you'll have moved on by that stage! don't do anything, let things turn out as they must. good luck

scojones

fuzzywiggle wrote:

Yes tell him. Life's too short. Be prepared for the worst though

Best advice on here.

BeardyGit

I think you should tell him if you still love him. If there's a chance he feels the same way, you owe it to both of you to do this. Be sure to take the time to weigh up the positive and the negative when it comes to your previous relationship though. If you reckon he really is good for you, go for it - You owe it to yourself to pursue your own happiness. There are too many people prepared to sit back and do nothing when it comes to matters of the heart. Be a fighter, even if you come off a little worse for wear in the end.

And as for her, what do you care? You don't owe her anything. Next time you see her, tell her you'll have to get "F*** Off" tatoo'd on your forehead if she's going to keep getting in your way. Scream at her to move aside, she's spoiling the view:p She doesn't sound so secure in herself, does she? The kind of person who'd resort to physical retribution for losing out to a real woman? Yeah, sounds like a real obstacle. Why not go after him, if that's what you want? I'm guessing he might be doing worse!

There you are - More words from a hopeless and somewhat hapless romantic.

Good luck,

Gil

red_bairn

Feck it! Go for it.

“Love is when you shed a tear and still want him, it's when he ignores you and you still love him, it's when he loves another girl but you still smile and say I'm happy for you, when all you really do is cry.”


Pain will be felt by either him, his gf or you. Regret is painful for you but could you live with it? sure.

"When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us."-Alexander Graham Bell


I would wanna see wats behind that closed door- love or love not???

LegacyUser

tough ****. Back you can never go. Think of the reasons why you broke up not because your bitter and lonely you don't have a boyfriend.

TapouT

metrovelvet wrote:

Yes you should tell him. Get it off your chest.

Nothing may come of it or something may or you may alienate him, but you should tell him.

From his end, he has nothing to fear of hearing it. If he doesnt love you it will mean nothing and he will carry on with his girlfriend, who will no doubtedly see you as a complete threat after this. If he does love you, then ....

I have to agree with this. And if you called you by your nickname (which only he knows) I'd would was he looking for a reaction?.

If you truely haven't moved on since the break up I'd tell him my feelings.

Little-Devil

You said that you "think you still love him". If your going to approach him and tell him how you feel, then you need to be 100% certain. He has moved on and is in a new relationship now. I think that with you finding a old card and a little note, it has just reminded you of the old times and him as well. I would also imagine that you are feeling quite lonely as you never mentioned that you have a new boyfriend or were seeing anyone.

If you are 100% certain that you still love him, then I would encourage you to let him how you are feeling, but as a few have already said be prepared for. I also think you should tell him the truth as to why you finished it with him in the first place, just so he knows it was nothing to do with him and that you were having some problems that you have now sorted out.

PS: calling you the nickname, i think he may still have some feelings for you;)

LegacyUser

Little-Devil wrote:

You said that you "think you still love him". If your going to approach him and tell him how you feel, then you need to be 100% certain. He has moved on and is in a new relationship now. I think that with you finding a old card and a little note, it has just reminded you of the old times and him as well. I would also imagine that you are feeling quite lonely as you never mentioned that you have a new boyfriend or were seeing anyone.

If you are 100% certain that you still love him, then I would encourage you to let him how you are feeling, but as a few have already said be prepared for. I also think you should tell him the truth as to why you finished it with him in the first place, just so he knows it was nothing to do with him and that you were having some problems that you have now sorted out.

PS: calling you the nickname, i think he may still have some feelings for you;)

yes i wont tell him that i love him, i will tell him that i still have strong feelings for him, i will apologise to him for the break up and try to explain to him why. I will probably ask him is he happy, and if he is, i will tell him i am happy for him.
i don't have a boyfriend at the moment, i was seing a guy for a few weeks recently, but he was dead set on a relationship and i realised that i couldnt be in a relationship with anyone when i was feeling this way about my ex.

i think just telling him, and even to get rejected and told to F off, will help me get over him and move on.

thanks again for all the advice.