Woman in my Life

LegacyUser

Hi guys,

Regular enough boards user.

Basic story.

I have known this woman for a few years. We share an interest*
Always had a thing for her, asked her out 2 years ago to a film she let me down nicely, because she was going out with her long term boyfriend. (I did not know).

Every few months or so she sent me a text message about our shared interest, and I would do the same etc.

Early this year she asked me out to a flick. I was delighted. Went along, but it was not only two of us, she had a friend. A little disappointing but it was OK night.

I then asked her a house party, she said she had other plans.

Met at a social occasion soon after and we flirted all night. Loads of eye contact, very touchy feely with me, talking all night, had her smiling and laughing. Emerged in conversation that she had just broken up with long term boyfriend (3/4 years) it was a pretty hard break up, she had a lot of other stuff going on in her life and she seemed very pressured/stressed with different issues.

Went back for drinks (with few other people) nothing happened, apart from a good night kiss but defo I thought something would come out of it in future, and left the house skipping

I then asked her out again to a party and she said she had work plans.

Threw my hat at it then. Really admire the woman in many ways but it seemed clear that nothing was going to come out of it.

However she kept in touch with a lot of texts about our shared interest etc. I know she admires aspects of what I do in my job.

she has texted me quite a bit since then, she almost always starts the texting. Two weeks ago I was out in town got a unpromted text from her, I replied said I was in a bar she should join me and my friends. She replied that she was at a house party invited me along .I did not want to abandon friends, but I sent pretty flirty text in reply.

Anyway since then she has been texting me on and off about our shared interest She texted me a few times asking was I going to this or that (I was not able to go to either this or that). Never asking me directly out on a date as such. But letting me know that she was going somewhere and was I going

So basically what should I do?
I really don’t want to ask her out directly again? Would kind of look ridiculous really. And as I said I have a lot of time for this woman and want to keep in contact even if nothing is going to "happen".
However I do think she does likes me a bit, when I re-read this message it may seem that she "just" sees me as a friend, but I am almost certian there is more of an edge to it than that.
What I would like to do is hook up in a situation that is away from our shared interest.

There is half a chance I will see her this weekend any advice on how I would approach it?

My groups of friends completely separate from hers. I am in mid twenties shes a little older. Not pining for this woman too much (but obviously enough to go on boards!!!), but I would really like it to happen, if there was any chance.

*Shared interest is rather particular so would rather not say, although it is not illegal or sexual (sadly) Kind of a hobby.

Beruthiel

I'm guessing that she is just taking it easy with you.
If she's just out of a bad break up then she probably doesn't want to get too deep into another relationship so quickly.
Why not just go with the flow and see what happens.

Ruu_Old

I would go with Ber's advice. She might be still hurt from her previous relationship so I would let her be, if its meant to happen then it probably will someway. It seems like you two enjoy each others company as it is so thats a wonderful thing.

Black Swan

Agree with the above posters. Take it easy. She is in recovery mode. It really might be good to continue your shared interest meetings, I would think, even if you wish it to be more. Perhaps it will be later?

BossArky

Go for the jugular!! *




* Ok, maybe take it easy. In the end its better to have a good-ish friend, than an ex lover who hates you.

Ballyman

She always has something on when you want her to do something with you yet you go to her almost every time she asks.

She's a prick teaser who will use you for her needs. Let it be.

LegacyUser

"She's a prick teaser"

That seems a bit harsh going by the OP message. He seemed to say no a few times when she asked him out. I think most women are not "prick teasers" (horrible phrase)

I know I was in similar position as the girl in above message. It is hard after long relationship and it is nice to feel wanted by someone I would just say to the OP to take it easy and watch out for himself. A hurt soul can also hurt others.

I also think the idea of a "prick teaser" is a tad sexist. there is nothing in original message that would make me think she was one??? or am I missing something