Books to avoid like a bookworm on a diet

tinyk68

Les Miserables by Victor Hugo. I was looking forward to reading it but I was so bored. It's very, very long winded. At one point in the story Jean Valjean is wrestling with his conscience for about forty pages! I gave up about half way through it and I never give up on a book no matter how much I dislike it.

Have to say I disagree with the previous comment about Jane Eyre. I enjoyed it. At the moment I'm reading Emma by Jane Austen and that is quite tedious. There is a lot of time devoted to what is or is not "proper" in any situation. However I will persevere. I'm not giving up again.

nyarlothothep

Don't get me wrong, compared to Mansfield park, Jane Eyre was a breath of fresh air, I enjoyed its attack on Victorian values and it's momentary gothic elements and flights of fancy, I much preferred those moments to the realism aspect. I just wouldn't go out of my way to read it.

HansHolzel

Jane Eyre is alright, the secret in the attic is a classic example of horror. Mr Rochester was more loquacious than I'd expected (or thought necessary) but the monstrous element of the cold fish St. John Rivers was quite effective too, as a prelude to the climax. Poor Rochester’s literally barely left with a leg to stand on in the end.

As for Bleak House, three quarters of it should have been cut but the spontaneous combustion chapter is fantastic, creepy and yet very funny.

Harvey Low Fat Milk

Going through the books that I've read this year and easily the worst is 'Penpal' by Dathan Auerbach. Rubbish.

the_monkey

Alone in Berlin

Rubbish, overrated and boring - my brother went on and on about it, I was so bored, couldn't even finish it.

The catastrophist

Utter ****e of the highest order - read it thinking I'd like it as it's set in the Congo in an interesting time - Rubbish.

ivytwine

the_monkey wrote: »

Alone in Berlin

Rubbish, overrated and boring - my brother went on and on about it, I was so bored, couldn't even finish it.

The catastrophist

Utter ****e of the highest order - read it thinking I'd like it as it's set in the Congo in an interesting time - Rubbish.

I thought I was alone (har-har) with Alone In Berlin. Couldn't get into it at all. I wondered was it the translation, but I just found it quite clunky and heavy-handed. Anyway I gave up too!

Wyldwood

Eloise by Judy Finnigan.
Bought it at half price (still a waste of money). I have found quite a few good reads on Richard & Judy's bookclub recommendations so was curious to know if all the praise for Eloise was justified. It is a really poorly written book, it would never have made the shelves if Judy Finnigan's name wasn't on the cover. Immature dialogue, fickle characters with no depth & overlong descriptions of the Cornwall area.
Money & reading time wasted.

BlutendeRabe

tinyk68 wrote: »

Les Miserables by Victor Hugo. I was looking forward to reading it but I was so bored. It's very, very long winded. At one point in the story Jean Valjean is wrestling with his conscience for about forty pages! I gave up about half way through it and I never give up on a book no matter how much I dislike it.

Have to say I disagree with the previous comment about Jane Eyre. I enjoyed it. At the moment I'm reading Emma by Jane Austen and that is quite tedious. There is a lot of time devoted to what is or is not "proper" in any situation. However I will persevere. I'm not giving up again.

Parts of Les Mis are extremely long winded and it is rather sentimental. However I just love how it's so bloody and gloriously descriptive, especially about the Battle of Waterloo and early 19th century Paris. Some of the scenes, mainly to do with Marius's grandfather and grand aunt are hilarious.
It's 10^10 times better than that awful bastard musical.

As for Jane Austen:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTchxR4suto

thegreatgonzo

Dagnir Glaurung wrote: »

Since when were chick flicks satires?

I wish I had avoided Lolita. Repulsive characters, plot peters out after 120 pages or so and the lavish writing style really grates from that point.

I didn't like Lolita either, I don't remember much about it except that it was full of literary references and in-jokes that I didn't get. Maybe I'd appreciate it more if I did.

thegreatgonzo

I dont have a problem with criticising 19th century literature, most of it is either rubbish or contemptible in terms of its politics, but nonetheless I find it's a violation of the universe of another author when you impose you own one on it. [/QUOTE]

Isn't that how you are critiquing these books though, by looking at them purely through a 21st century experience?

nyarlothothep

thegreatgonzo wrote: »

I dont have a problem with criticising 19th century literature, most of it is either rubbish or contemptible in terms of its politics, but nonetheless I find it's a violation of the universe of another author when you impose you own one on it.

Isn't that how you are critiquing these books though, by looking at them purely through a 21st century experience?[/QUOTE]

Well I find a lot of idelogies/attitudes extant in the 21st century, par exemple neo liberalism, corporatism or austerity economics, utterly dismissable. What I find intriguing is how uniform attitudes were in the 19th century. Take Indians, on one side you had Americans who supported race war and genocide, on the other you had those who supported assimilation but generally both sides saw the Indian as inferior to the white man. On the other hand in terms of race politics you did have some dissenting voices who vouched for the equality of black people and argued that they were equal to whites. So even in the incredible bigotted 19th century there were some people who thought ahead, even though they were a bit ethnocentric, ditto for this time period.

thegreatgonzo

nyarlothothep wrote: »

. So even in the incredible bigotted 19th century there were some people who thought ahead, even though they were a bit ethnocentric, ditto for this time period.

I disagree with your opinion of 19th century literature but that's besides the point. What is the problem with Wide Saragasso Sea and 20th century criticism?

nyarlothothep

thegreatgonzo wrote: »

I disagree with your opinion of 19th century literature but that's besides the point. What is the problem with Wide Saragasso Sea and 20th century criticism?

Ah 20th century criticism/WSS is always fixated with Freudian theory, feminism, Marxism and gothic repression, redressing 19th century quaintness with a gritty 20th century deconstruction that reveals the kind of gross oppression that went on in the 19th. I don't mind that, I just didn't like someone going into someone else's world and reconfiguring it. Also WSS was boring and I got nothing out of reading it, yeah, Antoinette is driven to madness due to colonial attitudes and the big twist is that she's actually Bertha from Jane Eyre :eek: I was like yeah whatever, this is hijacking Bronte's world. I dunno that style of fiction just isn't for me, I'm going to read Weaveworld and it better be good.

BlutendeRabe

nyarlothothep wrote: »

Ah 20th century criticism/WSS is always fixated with Freudian theory, feminism, Marxism and gothic repression, redressing 19th century quaintness with a gritty 20th century deconstruction that reveals the kind of gross oppression that went on in the 19th. I don't mind that,

I'm with Harold Bloom regarding what he dubs the "School of Resentment". That sort of feminist/marxism/deconstruction criticism produces utter dreck and I can't see any use for it.

thegreatgonzo

nyarlothothep wrote: »

Ah 20th century criticism/WSS is always fixated with Freudian theory, feminism, Marxism and gothic repression, redressing 19th century quaintness with a gritty 20th century deconstruction that reveals the kind of gross oppression that went on in the 19th. I don't mind that, I just didn't like someone going into someone else's world and reconfiguring it. Also WSS was boring and I got nothing out of reading it, yeah, Antoinette is driven to madness due to colonial attitudes and the big twist is that she's actually Bertha from Jane Eyre :eek: I was like yeah whatever, this is hijacking Bronte's world. I dunno that style of fiction just isn't for me, I'm going to read Weaveworld and it better be good.

It's years since I read WSS so I won't dispute with you over the theory. I loved that it took a character whose past was a mystery and gave her a real story. I'm not so fond of books that write about the future events of a character' life though, I just watched Death in Pemberley the other night and didn't like it.

johnthemull

After the critical acclaim given to the Spinning Heart I felt it my duty to go and read the book, which I duly did.
I was somewhat amazed at how little I enjoyed it.
The book was frankly a misery feast from start to finish.
It was devoid of any inspiration, insight or hope and from the early pages all I could think of was here comes another Angela's Ashes.
I am clearly very out of touch with the mainstream of public opinion lauding this book as a masterpiece.

thegreatgonzo

johnthemull wrote: »

After the critical acclaim given to the Spinning Heart I felt it my duty to go and read the book, which I duly did.
I was somewhat amazed at how little I enjoyed it.
The book was frankly a misery feast from start to finish.
It was devoid of any inspiration, insight or hope and from the early pages all I could think of was here comes another Angela's Ashes.
I am clearly very out of touch with the mainstream of public opinion lauding this book as a masterpiece.

That's disappointing, I've heard so many good reviews of it. I've no interest in miserable Irish stories:(

nyarlothothep

BlutendeRabe wrote: »

I'm with Harold Bloom regarding what he dubs the "School of Resentment". That sort of feminist/marxism/deconstruction criticism produces utter dreck and I can't see any use for it.

I would need to read further on Bloom's argument but I kinda partially agree with it. Marxist/feminist critical approaches can be quite useful in unravelling the socio-economic and gender politics of novels like Jane Eyre or Mansfield Park, the latter in particular is very overt in its defence of a caste-like society and the social values that go along with it. I just get annoyed when critics attempt to fit novels into their argument or are preachy about certain elements that are offensive to our 21st century values, even though they are just comically bad and of their time. Also the use of maths/pseudo formulas in critical essays is the biggest offensive abomination and the ultimate sign of pretension. Feminist critique I would criticise for being deliberately oblique and indecipherable. Chakravorty Spivak's seminal essay on Jane Eyre, WSS and Frankenstein is one such example. I prefer if they say what they mean and back up their outside references with explanations, simply invoking the Kantian categorical imperative and not elucidating on it is erroneous writing imo as it leads the reader astray.

Harry Angstrom

It's at times like this that I remember what an old aunt of mine once told me, "Everything is relative, Harry".


She only knew Chakravorty Spivak to see. She'd never engage in conversation with her.

Swiper the fox

johnthemull wrote: »

After the critical acclaim given to the Spinning Heart I felt it my duty to go and read the book, which I duly did.
I was somewhat amazed at how little I enjoyed it.
The book was frankly a misery feast from start to finish.
It was devoid of any inspiration, insight or hope and from the early pages all I could think of was here comes another Angela's Ashes.
I am clearly very out of touch with the mainstream of public opinion lauding this book as a masterpiece.

I haven't enjoyed any book as much this year, that's the thing about books I suppose, different strokes for different folks. I'm not sure I understand what you mean when you say " devoid of any inspiration, insight or hope and from the early pages" or the comparison with Angela's ashes, I cannot think of a single thing that those books have in common. I'm just gobsmacked with that review, sorry!

josephineperry

Twilight, full moon, and all this stuff by Stephanie Meyer. I tried to read the first book because I had heard so much about it I wanted to give it a try. Awfully written, I don't get all the hype...

Kev W

Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton. So very very dull and a remarkably slow read for such a relatively short book.

DB Cooper 23

Under the Dome by Stephen King. That man doesn't know how to write an ending

Thargor

Kev W wrote: »

Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton. So very very dull and a remarkably slow read for such a relatively short book.

Sorry but Jurassic Park is definitely not a book to avoid as the thread says, its pretty much a genre classic.

Kev W

Thargor wrote: »

Sorry but Jurassic Park is definitely not a book to avoid as the thread says, its pretty much a genre classic.

But it's SO DULL.

Thargor

Would it be dull if you'd never seen the film and didnt know the plot so well because of that though? Thats not the books fault...

Kev W

Thargor wrote: »

Would it be dull if you'd never seen the film and didnt know the plot so well because of that though? Thats not the books fault...

It's actually the prose style I found tedious, not the storyline.

Lucena

DB Cooper 23 wrote: »

Under the Dome by Stephen King. That man doesn't know how to write an ending

Haven't read that particular book, but I remember reading a lot of his books as a teenager and finding the end to be the hardest part to get through, and thinking exactly the same thing as yourself.

I read the recent Kennedy book which was an exception i.e. proper ending, and it was an enjoyable read.

The One Doctor

Anything by Margaret Atwood. Both tedious and disturbing.

La_Gordy

The One Doctor wrote: »

Anything by Margaret Atwood. Both tedious and disturbing.

I'd disagree with this and say that she has some duds. The Oryx and Crake trilogy is excellent, bar the last book, which is a missed opportunity. Pish.

On this front I really enjoyed Haruki Murakami right up until IQ84. That was a very lengthy load a baws.

katydid

Dades wrote: »

I found "The Historian" by Elizabeth Kostova really turgid.
A lot of words but very little happening.

Half way through now, I only read it when I can't sleep.

Funny, I quite liked it. It was turgid in parts, I agree, but I persevered. And re-read it a couple of years later.

katydid

Anything by Frank McCourt

katydid

BossArky wrote: »

Steer well clear of Paulo Coelho's "The Valkyries", a joke of a book..

All his stuff is crap.

katydid

Merrick wrote: »

Amongst Women by John McGahern.
I had to study it for school. It led to some of the worst English classes I have ever experienced.

Totally disagree. It is a dismal book. Not great as a school text, but it is a powerful book.

Birneybau

katydid wrote: »

Totally disagree. It is a dismal book. Not great as a school text, but it is a powerful book.

boobar

I'm a big fan of the singer Morrissey, really enjoyed his Autobiography, really well written with the brilliant turn of phrase that you'd expect from this great lyricist.

However his new offering List of the Lost is like a pothole...to be avoided at all costs.

Here's a sample of what you will enjoy if you don't heed my advice

“At this, Eliza and Ezra rolled together into the one giggling snowball of full-figured copulation, screaming and shouting as they playfully bit and puled at each other in a dangerous and clamorous rollercoaster coil of sexually violent rotation with Eliza’s breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra’s howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it whacked and smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza’s body except for the otherwise central zone.”

Kev W

boobar wrote: »

I'm a big fan of the singer Morrissey, really enjoyed his Autobiography, really well written with the brilliant turn of phrase that you'd expect from this great lyricist.

However his new offering List of the Lost is like a pothole...to be avoided at all costs.

Here's a sample of what you will enjoy if you don't heed my advice

“At this, Eliza and Ezra rolled together into the one giggling snowball of full-figured copulation, screaming and shouting as they playfully bit and puled at each other in a dangerous and clamorous rollercoaster coil of sexually violent rotation with Eliza’s breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra’s howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it whacked and smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza’s body except for the otherwise central zone.”

Wow. I had no idea that Morrissey has never had sex.

The things you learn, eh?

Censorsh!t

I'm currently struggling through A Hand Reached Down to Guide Me by David Gates. I find all the characters annoying, pretentious arseholes, and so far all the stories appear to be pretty much the same.

ivytwine

Kev W wrote: »

Wow. I had no idea that Morrissey has never had sex.

The things you learn, eh?

I dunno about Moz but his description has certainly put me off it for a while!

Qiaonasen

The Expats by Chris Pavone.

It's not possible to write a book this bad!

The Young Wan

Us by David Nichols. I tried to get into it, I really did. But my god that story dragged for me, and I had to give up on it.

ivytwine

The Young Wan wrote: »

Us by David Nichols. I tried to get into it, I really did. But my god that story dragged for me, and I had to give up on it.

Agreed! I thought the wife was an absolute gowl tbh. Lots of things rang really false, also the descriptions of Europe never surpassed a fourth-class "what I did on my holidays" essay.

I finished it but out of annoyance!

Nemanrio

Nearly finished All is silence Manual Rivas.

Translation from Galician is very ropey in places tbh.

The book is good in parts.

Swiper the fox

The Young Wan wrote: »

Us by David Nichols. I tried to get into it, I really did. But my god that story dragged for me, and I had to give up on it.

I quit on that one as well, I did like One Day though.

heathledgerlove

Chicken Soup for the Soul. White picket fence, apple pie cooling overly-American sentimentalist drivel!

isntlee

War and Peace

When I realised that two characters I particularly disliked would probably survive the tale, book got tossed, after 800 pages.

TICKLE_ME_ELMO

isntlee wrote: »

War and Peace

When I realised that two characters I particularly disliked would probably survive the tale, book got tossed, after 800 pages.

Don't start me on W&P. F**king Pierre :mad:

telpis

any jane austen

Balf

telpis wrote: »

any jane austen

"Ah, Miss Dashwood. Would I seem forward if I sat on the toilet seat while it was still warm after you?"

Sheridan81

C.Bronte-Jane Eyre
Longeurs alert

Kipling-Kim
I read the whole thing without actually becoming absorbed in what the hell it was they were doing.


Zen And The Art Of Motorcycle Maintenance
Zen and the art of complete bollocks.

The Secret
The secret is that there's no secret.

Anything by James Patterson or

Dean Koontz