going to break my dad's heart

LegacyUser

Hi everyone, I’m going unreged for this because someone involved is on boards. I have a major problem on my hands and I don’t know what I’m going to do about it. I’m 23 and still live at home with my dad. My mum died when I was young and my dad has had a younger girlfriend for the past 3 years. One day, about 6 months ago, she called over to see him and he wasn’t there, she came in anyway, and to cut a long story short, we slept together. Ever since then, we have been seeing each other secretly, and if I’m honest, I’ve really enjoyed being with her, she is like no woman I’ve ever been with, but the guilt of what we are doing to my dad is eating me up inside. I told her this last night and she told me that if I ended things she would tell my dad exactly what has been going on. I know if she did this then he would eventually forgive her but hate me forever. She is basically blackmailing me into continuing to have sex with her. I’m scared she will turn my dad against me. How can I fix things?

Tell him the truth once you come clean and tell him you realise you made a huge mistake he will (eventually)overtime forgive you

and probably be grateful in a way!

LegacyUser

blackmail is insidious and destroys peoples lives. right now she's using this to maintain the sex, later on she'll probably want something else, you cant keep living like this and the truth is better coming from you to your dad.sure its horrible but in a strange way youre doing him a favour. youve allready messed up your relationship with your dad, hes just aware of it yet and the sooner he knows the type of woman she is the better for him in the long run.
and do yourself a big favour - learn from this experience.

LegacyUser

I think you should tell your Dad. Don't let her be the one to tell him.

GAAman

Best thing you can do is tell him. It will hurt like hell but think of it this way, how you think he would feel if she were to tell him or if he were to find out from someone else? At the end of the day he deserves the truth and you cant let this manipulative cow twist you up like this with threats


Best of luck with whatever you decide man

I said it in a similar thread today, tell your dad, everything.

The whole truth, leave nothing out.

Honesty results in short term pain but evenutally long term gain.

miles teg

it's a gamble but I don't think she would tell your dad if you stopped seeing her. She'd have nothing to gain by doing it unless one of her biggest pleasures in life is to spite people...you'd know best.

I'm not suggesting you run away from the problem, but if I was in your situation, I would seriously consider moving away for a while. Doesn't have to be abroad but far enough like Galway say. By not being in the same location as your dad, you'll be forcing her out of being with both of you and you'll be getting her out of your life, which you may not want but trust me, you're a fool to stay with her.

sutty

You dad will forgive you long before he will forgive her... blood is ticker and all that Jazz...

Best come clean to him though.

Dragan

There comes a time when you simply have to pay the piper. You are looking at this as "oh my god, my dad will kill me" which is inherently selfish.

You should be think "oh my god, this woman is really vindictive AND she is cheating on my dad."

It just so happens she is cheating on him with you, and being honest I have no pity for you, you knew what you were doing.

Tell him the truth, he's you Dad and he deserve that…..you have shown no respect for him or yourself and it's time you started.

Maybe it would be best to have you Dad mad at you than have him being cheated on and going out with a woman like her????

Make the sacrifice and help your Dad out….. That's the first step on the road towards paying for what you have done to him.

Zulu

Go straight to your Dad and tell him everything.


...good christ, how did you get yourself into this?!?

seamus

Troll.