can't deal with best mates **** anymore

LegacyUser

last night it was a mates birthday so we decide to just do the cheap thing raid the off licence and camp by the ruins of an old castle. Anyway unknown to me my best mate had managed to get his hands on something illegal (i don't want to get boards in any trouble here so thats all i'm sayin on that) anway he then preceded to climb the castle with his girlfriend and jump to a window ledge where they couldn't get down from. She started freakin cause we all had a fair amount to drink at this stage and it was pitch black and a long way down, so another mate seen where they were and came and got me and a few others to help them out.

this meant me and another guy climbing halway up and guidin them down but this wasn't good enough for him he wanted to stay up there with the GF even though at this stage she was in tears and really freakin but he didn't care he wanted a nice romantic moment

anyway after about 10 mins of shoutin at him we got him to agree to come down we got the GF down handy enough she wanted out of there and did exactly what we told her to do, him though he got piussed off we were instructing him and kept climbing back up. Eventually we got him down enough so he couldn't go abck up but then he stared going psychop and ended up on my shoulders and i'm on a ledge 6+ ft up with no handholes or grips i was just balanceing on my toes and my mate was pushin on to my ass and lower back (the other guy on the ledge had fallen back few moments earlier but another lad caught him so he was safe) and i know someone up there was lookin down on me. after 2 mins of this balancing act we both got to the ground.

he had no remorse, regret and didn't even say thank you to any of us. all was in his head was more drink and legal hallucnigenics (sp?) then when people started gettin really pissed off and evryone there realised what had happened he was the one that got annoyed at us and left the party. it is a horrible thing to say but at that minute neither myself nor anyone else there gave a flyin f about him. we just let him go.

we have warned him so many times about that stuff and even when he is on shorts that he is a prick and has pissed off so many people in the past and and pretty much every party he has been at since i've known him either myself another mate of his GF has had to take care of him and carry him home and it always just brings everyon elses mood down but this was takin it way to far cause it was a possibly fatal situation he had put his mates and GF in. i am now fed up to the teeth with him and so is all the people he would class as friends (how that will change now i wonder)

look long story short i don't wanna turn my back on him cause i know he needs people to help him out he a depressive person but right now he's 2 bedrooms away from me and i wanna go in and beat him to a pulp and never talk nor see him again but i know him and if that happens he's just gonna get worse abnd this guy is such a nice guy most of the time i don't want that. what would you do in this situation.

ps sorry for that long story but i just needed to get everything of my chest

ThrownAway

Besides warning him, did you tell how you feel and the way your other friends feel towards him?

If he has ''no remorse or regret'' and didn't say thankyou/apologise is he really a friend that cares how you feel...do you think that he would worry about you as much if it was the other way around

Thomas_S_Hunterson

Maye he doesn't realise the anguish he's causing you.

A quiet word on a one to one basis could make him think more about it.

Beruthiel

hatinmymate wrote:

look long story short i don't wanna turn my back on him cause i know he needs people to help him out he a depressive person but right now he's 2 bedrooms away from me and i wanna go in and beat him to a pulp and never talk nor see him again but i know him and if that happens he's just gonna get worse abnd this guy is such a nice guy most of the time i don't want that. what would you do in this situation.

Sit him down and tell him that when his head is straight

Blazer

f*ck him..I used to be the same with one of my mates when i was younger..the little prick was constantly getting into fights with people and always we'd have to bail him out.(and yet he was a great guy sober).years upon years we put up with this ****e...and how did he repay us? basically by completely ignoring all the friends he grew up with (and still lives close to)..even when he became a father recently and we all texted him congrats he hadn't even the courtesy to reply to us..so if i was you sit your friend down..tell him what's acceptable,what's not acceptable as a friend of yours..if he doesn't agree cut him lose..it shows how much he values your friendship.

Strokesfan

Some people never realise what they're doing to the people around them. I'd nearly distance yourself from him gradually if he's just draining on everyone's humour, kindness and generosity. You can try speaking to him but it doesn't sound like he'l even be having any of it. His loss.

AngryBadger

Sounds like he's got issues that're coming out when he has drink in him.

If you want him t cop on he needs to deal with that first. Otherwise all the talking in the world isn't going to make any difference.

blocparty

ya have a chat with him because its fair to say that you dont want to loose him as a friend. you didnt say what hes like normally when hes sober but he must be a nice guy.

if after the chat he still doesnt change then id say just ignore him for awhile and give him a chance to realise what a dickhead hes been to his friends and GF. People do change and i hope he matures past his stage of getting pissed and being a drunken mess.

Dragan

From your post i get the feeling this is kinda regular. Your friend needs to sort his head out or something will catch up with him.

He will try the wrong stunt, or piss of the wrong person and he will be in serious trouble.

Have a chat with him when he is sober, try and make him see what a prick he is when he is drunk and let him know he is on his own when he gets like that.

Any friend i had who would get so bad, i would eventually leave them off after looking after them a few times.

It nearly always sorted them out.

nobodythere

Talk to him.

And if he doesn't listen, you did what you could.
You gave him every chance.
If he doesn't change, he's a burden.


Not a friend.

LegacyUser

U wanna be his friend ???
U wanna help him ???

OK.

Do only harmless daytime stuff with him - i.e. not involving
substance abuse (including drink). For example,
invite him round to your place for a nice chat, watch
TV, play snakes & ladders, have a nice cuppa tea and
cucumber sandwiches etc.

But ... when it comes to going out on the town - he is
on his own. U do not socialise with him in any
situation where potentially or actually drink and
substance abuse is involved.

I had a very good friend once ... he would give
U the shirt off his back ! But with drink taken, he
would just cause a fight with someone else over
nothing. It got to the point where all of us 'left him
to it'. Eventually , he copped himself on ... and is
today a pillar of the community.