How to pull?

StormWarrior

I could use some advice. I,ve just moved sweden and I can,t speak swedish and i hardly know anyone here. In the supermarket there is a really cute bloke who works on the checkout. I go in there twice a day and buy something, even though I don't need to buy anything, just to see him. Now he recognises me and smiles and says 'hej' but thats as far as it ever gets. Swedes don't seem very talkative or outgoing, I don't know how to get talking to him. Everyone here speaks good english so I'm sure language won't be a problem. But I'm shy too and I don't know what to say. Also there's always a queue waiting behind me so I can't really linger. I go in so often now he must know I'm stalking him! What should I do? PLEASE help!

Third_Echelon

StormWarrior wrote:

I could use some advice. I,ve just moved sweden and I can,t speak swedish and i hardly know anyone here. In the supermarket there is a really cute bloke who works on the checkout. I go in there twice a day and buy something, even though I don't need to buy anything, just to see him. Now he recognises me and smiles and says 'hej' but thats as far as it ever gets. Swedes don't seem very talkative or outgoing, I don't know how to get talking to him. Everyone here speaks good english so I'm sure language won't be a problem. But I'm shy too and I don't know what to say. Also there's always a queue waiting behind me so I can't really linger. I go in so often now he must know I'm stalking him! What should I do? PLEASE help!

I know a good few swedes, and I have to say they tend to be quite friendly, if you actually get to know them. They are good people and tend to include you in activities etc, especially if you are a foreigner from a country like Ireland. (Just back from hols there as well... great place )

As you said the language problem doesn't really apply as they speak really good english. Try and learn swedish though and make an effort, they like that.... Perhaps you could ask him to help you learn swedish? I could actually understand a lot of it as I had a decent level of german. Words etc seemed to be quite similar. Oddly enough, my Irish seemed useful as well, there was a scary comparison with Irish words etc...

Its actually getting properly talking to him is the problem... Go into the shop when its not too busy... Early on a sunday morning perhaps? If he is there, ask him about something that you know he'll know the answer to... e.g. do you sell lotto tickets here/which is the best milk to buy/In ireland we have X, do you have that here? Something like that. Build up the conversations over time. Perhaps you could ask him to show you the city/town, or ask him if there is somewhere that has bands etc that play music that you like...

Give it a go, see what happens..

biko

Just because you're in there often doesn't mean you into him. You could be living close. You should ask him out - guys needs very clear signals to pick up on.

Swedes are talkative but you can't expect them to be good at flirting in a foreign language.

Try this Swedish forum for non-Swedes.

LegacyUser

That's tough alright!
I might suggest pretending to interested in a job with the shop , yes, even though you speak english, and try and arrange a time to ask him about his experiences!

Otherwise (or additionally) accidently drop something and bend over in front of him?

Whatever you do keep smiling (maybe winking) and don't go in more than once a day anymore it will come across as strange!!

Third_Echelon

which city are you in? Just out of curiosity?

StormWarrior

I'm in stockholm. we've never got beyond 'hej' so he doesnt know i cant speak swedish. but yes, i must stop going in there so often! How can I make Him make the first move on ME, thats what I'd like to know! I am very shy!

biko

StormWarrior wrote:

How can I make Him make the first move on ME, thats what I'd like to know!

You can't. Just go in there when it's more quiet and speak to him in english about general stuff.
If you want to get somewhere you must overcome your shyness and be willing to take risks to get what you want.

Third_Echelon

StormWarrior wrote:

I'm in stockholm. we've never got beyond 'hej' so he doesnt know i cant speak swedish. but yes, i must stop going in there so often! How can I make Him make the first move on ME, thats what I'd like to know! I am very shy!

Carp some diem and you make the first move... You say you're shy, but you'll never get anywhere if you wait for him to make the move... At the moment you are 'just' another customer. Only you can change that and make him see you in a different light by asking him out/getting beyong hej....

As he is in work, he'll more than likely not want to possibly risk his job by asking someone out while he's working. Its up to you I reckon...

StormWarrior

OK you're right. You are blokes, aren't you? From a male point of view, what could a girl in my situation say to a bloke like him that won't sound too desperate but will subtly get the message accross?

Pigman II

Just grab a cucumber and start deepthroating it in front of him. It's the universal language.

LegacyUser

The simple starting question is to ask him does he speak english. If he doesn't then tbh the relationship isn't really going to go anywhere.

Why not do a big shop so that you can chat longer while you're bagging etc...

You could ask him where does he go to keep up his english... so that you could go too and help out!

How about complements? I don't know many people who don't like them!

biko

StormWarrior wrote:

OK you're right. You are blokes, aren't you? From a male point of view, what could a girl in my situation say to a bloke like him that won't sound too desperate but will subtly get the message accross?

I might be out on a limb here but why do you want to be subtle?
Be direct. Swedish males are not offended by direct girls.

Tell him this - "I am new to the city and could use with someone to show me around". The cucumber idea could be plan B

Third_Echelon

Yeah, i think biko's line is a good one. Its not too forward, but still shows interest....

Although, I'd definitely be interested in a girl that could work a cucumber

Anti

This is a simple one really.

It can be answered in one word

Confidence.

Since you are asking here i asume ( and im sory if i am wrong ) that you are somewhat lacking in the above !

Women like a man to be confident, and men like women to be confident. You have to be confident in your manner, appearance, the way you talk and introduce yourself to ppl. Even the way you stand, ppl can tell if your confident or not.

the one biggest mistake to make is to be too confident, as this is often precieved as cocky / loving your self.

Now onto your initial question ! How to pull ? ill put this quickly for you.

** EXAMPLE **

Your in a bar in town. you see a girl the other side of the room, she may or may not have already noticed you. If she hasnt all the better ( ill go into this in a bit ) you obviously know first impressions last, correct ? So if you see a girl walk in, shoulders slumped, looking at the ground. not dressed that great. What do you think ? Now if you see a girl walk in, all smiles , looking radiant, and dressed just right. not boring. not slutty. She has your attention straight away. Now back to my point earlier about her not noticing you yet. This should work toour advantage..... hopefully. Now what your aiming for is to walk over to her. smiling at her. Back straight, walking tall, keeping eye contact. Now just go over introduce yourself and forget about all them bolloxy chat up lines you see on tv or read in Womens weekly. Go over and be yourself, Chat to him, take interest in what he says. and keep eye contact .

Now dont expect this to work the first time you try it, as it probably wont. More then likely he has a girlfriend, is engaged, married or simply not interested. Dont take it to heart. Just take it on the chin and move on.

Hope this helps somewhat

StormWarrior

well thanks for the last bit! That really helps my confidence!

oulu

Why not leave him a little message next time on a piece of paper with name and number and state if he ever fancy's a drink to give you a call, by the note he will know you speak English only

biko

Flirting in Swedish

metrovelvet

Give him a big dirty smile. They like that.

Anti

A friend of mine suggested walking in with a camel toe on display, i cant understand how this will help, but i thought id pass the message on.

loadabollocks

StormWarrior wrote:

OK you're right. You are blokes, aren't you? From a male point of view, what could a girl in my situation say to a bloke like him that won't sound too desperate but will subtly get the message accross?

ask him for a teabag

StormWarrior

He has a really cool tattoo. If I say 'nice tattoo, what is it?' do you think that would do the trick?

And to those of you who know what swedes are like, he won't think i'm being weird or anything?

daveirl

This post has been deleted.

BossArky

The title of this thread had me thinking you were a girl in need of some different pulling advice

el tel

Just say: "Hej Jag er Irisk. Jag er lätt. vill du sova med jag?":p

red_ice

Ahh sweden! When i was there i learnt the important stuff to say to girls. My favourite and most lucrative was 'sug min kuk och fur di it langsamth'. Of course the spelling is totally wrong, and it didnt work, but it definitly got a reaction and a giggle which started off a conversation!

I think the female equivalant would be something along the lines of 'sug min fitta lalalalalalal'. Of course its dirty, but its funny never the less. When ever i want to talk to someone that doesnt speak much english, i try speak their language, and say random stuff, which leads to other stuff where a ropey conversation will come about. Swedish is really easy to pick up on, and when you hear people talking it, you can pick out certain words and get the jist of what they are talking about. Give it a few weeks!

I would suggest you make a post asking poeple to help translate some words for you, to give you a few basic sentences. har more du, jag ma bra and so on. once you get these basic words out of the way, you will be able to speak broken swedish which will lead to you getting a reaction. Try talking what little swedish you know to him, see what reaction you get, and dont be afraid to laugh about it, it will tell him that you are comfortable around him and that you are a friendly face!

StormWarrior

I looked up what you just suggested and no way and I going to say anything of the sort! It will give totally the wrong first impression!

StormWarrior

I just went to the shop again. This time he was stacking shelves. I stood next to him and pretended I was looking at the display. I couldn't talk to him though! I kept my eyes averted from him, and he didn't look at me either. Not even 'hej'. It was made all the more difficult because 2 of his colleagues were stacking shelves next to him. I just could not summon up the courage! OH WHY AM I SUCH A MUPPET?!

I might go back later. Should I, or is that too obvious? Seeing him standing up, he is even MORE gorgeous than I thought he was! I love how tall Swedish men are! It makes such a nice change from short little British men, most of how are even shorter than me! (And I'm not tall by any means!)

Cianos

I think you should probably stop going in as much. No one goes to the supermarket that much! He'll be curious as to why you are in so much, and that can easily be a bad thing as well as a good thing.

Regarding striking up a conversation, just say anything at all really. It really doesnt matter. You dont need to think of something clever or subtle to say. Even just say "Whats your name?" or something...the point is, if anything is going to happen it will happen, if its not, it wont.

zag

This is the stalking method:
Find out what time he finishes work.

Happen to walk by the shop as he is leaving, and say 'Hej'.

Then, as he passes you by, call back "Can you speak English?", if he says yes, just say,"I'm new to the area, and would like to meet some new people.Would you know anywhere good, like a pub or something?"

If he doesn't get the message the first time, next time you are in the shop, you have a talking point. It might go something like this:

Bloke: "Hej, so did you go to the bar I told you about?"

You: (all volunarable) No, I didn't go. I'm a bit shy, and find it hard to start talking to strangers".

Bloke: "No problem, you can come out with me/friends etc"
or he could say he has a girlfriend, but at this stage, you haven't lost any pride or gotten too embaressed.

Might be worth a go anyway.

StormWarrior

well guess what, I made some new friends last night, and they sort of know the bloke I like! we went in his shop, bought something we didn't need and they said to him "this is our new friend, she's english"
He just smiled towards the floor and said "English?" Don't know what to make of that.
Anyway, they don't know him that well, but they are going to invite him to hang out with us as a group. Hopefully he will say yes. Fingers crossed!

cheeky_guy

StormWarrior why dont you just tell him you are going for a drink later and ask him does he want to come with you. It would be much less embarrassing asking out a Swede than an Irish person because he will just think 'Oh this must be the way it is in their country'. And a bloke will be impressed no matter what if a girl comes up and askes him out.

There will be no akward silences because you are both from differant countries and with neither of you being fluent in each others languages, of course there will be silences, that is to be expected.

And id nearly say for certain that he will say yes, so go for it....


And i thought i read somewhere before that Swedish women were one of the most confident race of women in the world and it is common place in Sweden for a woman to pick a man up so he's problady waiting for you to ask him out anyway. :-)

MrJoeSoap

StormWarrior wrote:

well guess what, I made some new friends last night, and they sort of know the bloke I like! we went in his shop, bought something we didn't need and they said to him "this is our new friend, she's english"
He just smiled towards the floor and said "English?" Don't know what to make of that.
Anyway, they don't know him that well, but they are going to invite him to hang out with us as a group. Hopefully he will say yes. Fingers crossed!

Ah I love a happy ending. Best of luck with it!

Kell

StormWarrior wrote:

He just smiled towards the floor and said "English?" Don't know what to make of that.

Thats it? And this is to be construed as a good thing? I would read it as exactly the opposite unless he is completely without personality, in which case would you want to get to know him more.

If it were to be construed as a positive thing, methinks it should have gone as follows-

Friend- "Hi. This is my friend <Insert Real Name>. She's English"
Shop Assistant- "Hey, how are you? What part of England are you from and have you been here long?" etc etc and general interest questions.

Methinks thats how good introductions go, *unless I am completely wrong.

K-

*Which is entirely plausible, but highly unlikely

StormWarrior

I just found out:

HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND!

:mad: :eek:

Third_Echelon

StormWarrior wrote:

I just found out:

HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND!

:mad: :eek:

Well, you can't win them all..... you tried and thats all that matters. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. At least you made a few friends out of it anyway...

Kell

Kell wrote:

If it were to be construed as a positive thing, methinks it should have gone as follows-

Friend- "Hi. This is my friend <Insert Real Name>. She's English"
Shop Assistant- "Hey, how are you? What part of England are you from and have you been here long?" etc etc and general interest questions.

Methinks thats how good introductions go, *unless I am completely wrong.

K-

*Which is entirely plausible, but highly unlikely

:rolleyes:
See???? You should have listened to your uncle Kell.

K-