I hate myself

LegacyUser

Hi boards,
I have this distressing problem I hate myself. I am ok looking slimish, not very tall and have ok skin. I am not happy with myself.
I hate every mole I have on my body, I hate my lips, I hate my skin I hate myself. Its really distressing because everytime I go and get served at a checkout by a girl, she is just not interested, she looks at other guys and they are normal looking. I hate myself to the fact I am ashamed and don't want to be seen. I am not good enough for myself.
If I had kids and I knew they were going to be the same, I would hate them and wish they weren't born. In fact I also hate my entire family, I am not proud of them!
Is there any folk similiar or who have any advice,
ANONY.

Strokesfan

You are caught in an endless cycle of negative thoughts I think - "stinking thinking". Everybody gets a bit low and the majority of people aren't entirely happy with themselves. You probably don't always feel like this?
You say you know you are ok looking but then say you hate everything about yourself so I gather it's just your self-esteem that needs working on.
I don't think your appearance is the issue, I think you need to find the strengths in yourself that you admire and work on the things that would make you happier in yourself.
Just stop focusing on the negatives and telling yourself you hate yourself.

Ruu_Old

Come one now OP, I bet you are not as bad as you say. A bit of positive thinking could go along way in seeing yourself in a better light. Everyone has beauty, different features that others don't have and like Strokesfan said focus on your strengths and be a bit more positive. Good luck now.

LegacyUser

Its really distressing because everytime I go and get served at a checkout by a girl, she is just not interested, she looks at other guys and they are normal looking.

firstly don't try and use the reaction of a checkout girl to rate your attractiveness! its a soul destroying job trust me, her lack of interest in proabably down to the utter monotony of her job!

I am ok looking slimish, and have ok skin

well see theres two things you've got going for you!

I used to very negative about my apperance too i was overweight, had acne, i hated my hair, i never thought i was pretty or good looking enough so i hid behind baggy c*ap looking clothes i felt so ugly i never even made eyecontact with people i felt worthless.

one day i decided enough was enough
i was my own worst critic.
i changed my look completely and i've never been happier believe me its really all in your head, beauty is subjective.

I hate myself to the fact I am ashamed and don't want to be seen. I am not good enough for myself.

if you feel you aren't good enough for yourself then change
just change your apperance dye your hair, get a new haircut, buy yourself new clothes whatever. most importantly stop running yourself down. you have no idea what other people find attractive, that mole you hate or those lips, could be the most beautiful to someone else.

they are normal looking

normal is boring, its peoples little quirks and imperfections which make them stand out. i for one find conventionally good looking utterly unnactrative.

everyone has flaws, but its within these flaws that you find true beauty.

Dub_Ster

Hey man , I know how you feel , well i did .

Look theres no essey way to pull your self out of this sort of cycle of thaught's people can only show you a path you have to choose weather you walk it !

ok lets start about all the negitive thaughts ,

There's only one way to , attack a problem like this ,
and its to catch your negitive thinking

So you hate your self .

Why not except and love your self for who you are .

Il tell you what you can im shore you do something goood that No one else can , and concintrate on that .

Now i want you to grab a pen and peaper , Now your going to make rite some aflamation's

I Diserve to be happy and sucessfull

I have the power to change my self

I can forgive and understand other and there motives

I can make my own choice's and decision's.

I am free to choose Happiness when ever i wish no matter my circumstances

I am flexable and open to change in every aspect of life

I act with confidance haveing a genral plan and except plan and open to alteration .

Its enough to have done my best

I diserve to be loved

sayt them twice a day once at night bfore you go to sleep , and once in the morning .

You will begin to se adifference in your life ....

I ws like you for 3 yrs and i read those aflamations every night for about , 4 weeks and i began to feel better about my self , if you think your ugly you will be ugly if you think your attractive you will be attractive . its all a mind set ....

YeAh!

Its appears to be physical attributes that you mainly have a problem with.
I have to tell you, looks, i spose, are important for first impressions but mean little/nothing when you are really getting to know a person. Personality is much more important and try not to be paranoid. "she looks at other guys".... this is just your imagination i'm sure, just your low self-esteem playing tricks on you.

Focus on the positive!