Girlfriend is late...

LegacyUser

This is the most disgusting, scared & horrible I've ever felt. My girlfriend was due last weekend and she is late. It's kind of a complicated story. We had sex on Wednesday night and the condom broke inside her. I wasn't close to coming and pulled out straight away, but even so she got the morning after pill on Thursday. She still hasn't got her period, I'm not sure whether the morning after pill induces a period or you still get it at your normal time, but she still hasn't gotten it. The fact that she was late before this happened made me rack my brain, and I remembered one night a few weeks ago when we had sex twice. It's this little thing that I forgot about that is making me so scared. Basically, I took off the first condom with my thumb, index and middle finger. These fingers got wet either from the lube or cum, and I'm not sure whether I wiped my fingers before putting on the second condom. So, cum could have gotten on the outside of the second condom when I rolled it down, right? For some insane, regretfull and idiotic reason I didn't think anything of it at the time. Now it's getting to me more and more. I know sperm doesn't die when it hits air, I thought Durex condoms had spermicide in the lube but I'm pretty sure that's not true (they were extra safe condoms).

Is there a chance she could have gotten pregnant from this? I would have only touched the shaft of my penis, not the head where most of the cum would have been. I would have then opened the packet with those fingers and put the condom on.

That's the only thing I can think of that happened. We're always careful, and everytime we've had sex I've checked to make sure there were no leaks from the condom. Each time the condom was eventually dry on the outside with the cum still inside. I don't know what the hell to do. My girlfriend is going into 6th year in a few weeks and everytime I look at her and see the fear in her eyes I feel like the worst person in the world for putting her through this. Needless to say our sex life is over, I'm not potentially putting her through this again.

Her period has been consistent for the last 4/5 months, to the day. Last year she had problems where she didn't have her period for 8 months because she went on a stupid crash-diet, but recently they've been completely consistent, even through when we started having sex.

Is there anything ie.stress, the worrying, that could be causing her to be late? She still hasn't got her period from the morning after pill. She has felt bloated and has had a few cramps (usually a forewarning of her period) for the last few days, but no period. She got sick today as she had a pain in her stomach since last night. I was fingering her last night and she bled a bit (this has never happened before, but I went deeper than I have before I think. I don't know if this graphic detail has any relevance but I'm putting down anything that I can think of). I'm so unbelievably scared for her and hate myself for doing this. I just want her to wake up tomorrow and get her period more than anything else in the world. I'd lose a ****ing limb for that to happen.

Smoggy

I'm certainly no expert on this, but I can tell you that my girlfriend has been over a week late before without being pregnant, so it may not be what you think it is.

Anti

thats true what smoggy said. And by the sounds of it she is worried about it too. and stress in women can delay periods, best thing you can do is go down your doctors and get him/her to do a pregnancy test. then you can take it form there.

I'm not an expert on the morning after pill but I'd have thought she should have gotten the period from it by now. She should see a doctor about that and get a pregnancy test. It's an awful situation to be in but one where waiting makes it even worse. Either way she should have had a period from the morning after pill, so I'd get checked out.

Has she considered getting on the Pill as well as using condoms? That would make things a lot easier, worrying about the condom breaking every time is really stressful, with the Pill as well it would make things a lot safer.

Suaimhneach

Just put yourself out of misery and go buy a pregnancy test and get it all over and done with. It is worth the 20 quid they will probably cost just for peace of mind.

A week is not a long time, esp if she hasnt been consistant for more than a year. Stop stressing, take a deep breath and try to be supportive. No matter what the outcome you'll be okay. Just go and buy a pregnancy test.

LegacyUser

OP any quick google on the morning after pill will tell you that one of the common side effects of the morning after pill is delayed onset of the next period.

LegacyUser

The doctor told her that if she didn't get it within 3/4 days to get a test. It's now the 4th day since she took it. My mind is not going as insane as it was because I found out that the condoms I used (Durex Extra-safe) have spermicide in them, so the scenario of her getting pregnant from sperm on the outside of the condom is pretty much put to rest. Now it's the fact that she hasn't gotten her period from the morning after pill which is making us worry.

She gets her period first thing in the morning, so every morning it's been another day of no period, another day of panic.

Do you think there's a reasonable chance she could be pregnant, based on the story? Last night we were both a little happier having found out about the spermicide thing, yet another morning of no period has us in bits again.

rugbug86

the MAP doesn't bring on a period. a friend of mine took it a while back and she was 2 weeks waiting on her period. if you're very worried take a test, otherwise try to relax.

LegacyUser

Well she got a pregnancy test today. Nothing I can do, but wait until she takes it. If she is pregnant... we've tried to avoid talking about it but we'd both want an abortion. I don't have a clue how I'd go about getting one

Suaimhneach

When you take something like the morning after pill it messes with your regular schedule, so her "usual" routine, ie. in the mornings/every month on time is going to be completely changed.

Regardless of what the doctor said, if it is upsetting you and stressing you both *this* much, go get a pregnancy test for reassurance. It's okay to have one earlier than you were told was a good idea.

Best of luck man.

ps. I didnt want to say this before just in case, but from your discription its probably highly unlikely she is pregnant from what you've explained.

Trinity

Try not to worry.

the Morning after pill is very reliable and the fact that you didnt even cum in her its really really unlikely!

it could be stress but the MAP does mess up your body, she is overloading it with hormones, her periods may not become regular for another couple of months.

get a first response pregnancy test to ease both your minds. its only about 11 euro for one.

but again its very very unlikely that she could be pregnant.

muckwarrior

Horrible 12345 wrote:

My mind is not going as insane as it was because I found out that the condoms I used (Durex Extra-safe) have spermicide in them,

Don't want to scare you, but I think you're wrong there. I know Durex extra safe used to have spermicide in them, but last time I checked they'd changed them so that they didn't.

On the other hand though, as already said, stress can delay periods. A couple of times when me and my ex had close calls, she was always late.

Suaimhneach

Afaik extra safe have spermicide. Hang on I'll check. Hm, it says extra lubricant but nothing about spermicide.

Either or, as said before, you didnt cum inside her and she took the MAP. All the stress probably isnt helping. Just relax and get a pregnancy test to be sure.

joenailface

heh my gf was 7 months late once...no kidding...it was totally ****ed up...i was paranoid a baby was gonna just pop out so i know how paranoid it can make you. BUT judgeing from what you said i seriously doubt that you could have got her pregnant. it also happened to me before that a condom broke and my gf was late by a week or so but the doctor said it was her mind making her late because she was paranoid, next day she had her period...scary ****. do let us know how it turns out though man, i wish ya all the best with it

LegacyUser

Well she checked a box of extra-safe in a pub vending machine and they said 'spermicidically lubricated for extra reassurance' or something very close to that. She's taking the test tomorrow. **** sake pray for her tonight

d-redser

Listen I know from experience that taking the MAP so close to her due date will delay it. If she had taken it earlier on in her cycle she would get it sooner.

The last time I had to take the MAP was in similar circumstances and I was due my period in 4/5 days time. I didnt get it for 2.5 weeks later.

Seriously you have covered all the areas. Dont be fretting.

BC

Ditto to what d-Redser said.

When i took the morning after pill it took 3 or 4 weeks for me to get a period. It completely messes with your hormones. I know its easier said than done but try to get your girlfriend to relax a bit, stress delays periods too!

Marksie

Other posters have put forward the morning after pill's affects.
Just for peace of mind, get a test done, they are inexpensive and will be well worth any mental anguish you both are suffering. Rather than waiting every minute to see if her period comes

LegacyUser

I do get the feeling on this site that everybody thinks it is easier to get pregnant than it actually is.

A couple having regular unprotected sex (with sperm being deposited at the cervix and shot straight into the uterus) for an ENTIRE MONTH still only have a one in four chance of getting pregnant.

The withdrawal method (which is basically what you're talking about if there was a tiny bit of sperm on the outside of the condom/the condom split and you withdrew straight away) will only result in 27% of couples getting pregnant over the course of a YEAR.

You on the other hand have had one incident of using the withdrawal method which was backed up by the morning after pill.

Your girlfriends period is late, it's late because that's a side effect of the morning after pill, not because she's pregnant. You would realise that if you had read the booklet that came with the pill or any of the hundreds of internet sites written about it and its effects.

You say you can't bear to see the look of fear in her eyes, well how about doing a tiny bit of reading and working out the odds because any reasonable site anywhere will tell you they're minute.

And tell her to go to the doctor and go on the pill ffs.

Dreamer 7

Best of Luck OP let us know how u get on but try not to drag it out too much longer or u'll go grey! And i know you think you know what you want to do if its positive but dont jump the gun. Let the news settle and read Abortion Guilt post in this forum.

Abortion is not the easy way out by any means. Come back with the news!

Sleepy

OP, you've done everything right. The MAP will always mess around a girl's cycle, it's pretty much how the thing works. I'd say you've nothing to fear. Still, for both your sakes, an appointment at the local family planning clinic/with your girlfriend's GP for her to get the pill mightn't be a bad idea.

chump

Sleepy wrote:

OP, you've done everything right. The MAP will always mess around a girl's cycle, it's pretty much how the thing works. I'd say you've nothing to fear. Still, for both your sakes, an appointment at the local family planning clinic/with your girlfriend's GP for her to get the pill mightn't be a bad idea.

I'd say all will be well too, but at least it's taught you an important lesson. Don't be trusting the condom.

Abstinence.

shoegirl

It can tinker with the normal cycle, but also stress or other factors could be tinkering with her cycle. I know that my own cycle suddenly went ape after 20 years of being like clockwork (my friends keep telling me I'm menopausal - at 33!)

Would be inclined to give it a week or so and then if nothing has happened to do a pregnancy test. Wait until you have a definite result before you panic, I know myself from the one and only time I was in the exact same situation (condom had slipped off) and took the MAP within 12 hrs it was a lot of panic over nothing.

LegacyUser

Well she took a test today and it came back negative....thank christ for that. This is the biggest relief of my life. My friends couldn't believe I was so worked up over such a small chance. We've talked about it & she's going on the pill. Either that or we're not having sex again, because I'm never putting her through that again

Suaimhneach

Congrats.

There is always a risk, no matter what, but glad to haer you're in the all clear.