Cant go on.....

LegacyUser

Hello personal boards, I'm going unreg for this as I post on other forums.
Basically I have had enough of things.
My babe left me a year ago and I have just shrivelled up to the point where I cant function socially anymore.
I freak out in pubs, no way could I date someone and doubt they would date me. So I dont go anymore. Months since I last went out socially.
I went to councillors but they were no help. All I do now is go home, eat my dinner watch whatever is on TV, no matter what and then sleep, get up go to work come home watch TV. Weekends are worse.
I used to have a lot of hobbies and friends but no more.
I have one good friend who still looks me up but she tells me that I have to pull myself together before I end up dead.
She is right.
I tried on friday to do it but made a complete mess of it, I took a lot of different pills (codeine/xanax/anti-depressants/tylenol/sleeping tablets/paracetamol) and drank lots of vodka until I passed out.
I woke on saturday evening in bed covered in vomit but still alive.
I thought I would go mad then but I didnt.
I have a really bad pain where my kidneys are and I think I have seriously injured myself.
I rang the hospital and told them the situation and they told me to come down immediately as I may have poisoned myself badly and might be in severe danger.
I didnt go and the pain is worse, I cant do anything in work today as I am very sore there yet secretly I am happy, hoping that I have done irreversible damage.
I know that sounds sick but I am mentally sick with the missing of my girlfriend.
She got engaged to another guy last week, thats why I took pills.
I dont really have anyone in this world, family are either dead or emigrated, no parents and what friends I have have more or less given up on the crybaby who cant get over a 'stupid girl' as one put it.
I rang the samaritans and they asked would I not consider going to the hospital as I could have done serious liver/kidney damage.
Why should I?
I am obviously mentally ill, with no support and a broken heart that will never heal.
Why should I continue in this pathetic existence, I dont want to.
I have no interests, friends, family and she is all happy with her new man.
I was doing good with her, never had any problems with my head, but when she left I just fell apart. Now I live in a tiny bedsit with people who play their music too loud all the time, just a tv and my laptop. I look terrible, skin and hair are bad and I havent bought new clothes in months.
I am only 25 yet feel like 65. I have not had a sexual thought in months and women dont interest me anymore.
Assuming I did go to the hospital, what would they do? I read they 'section' you into a loony ward or something?
Is that true? I wish they would just shoot me to be honest.
Can anyway really tell me will this get better, councillors were rubbish tbh, kept talking about grief as if talking about it made it go away.
I came out of every session worse than I went in, usually just drift along but they made me feel worse.
Is there any hope that maybe I could get my life back?
I am afraid to go to hospital but its very painful and I am afraid of living.

HELP>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>!

ninebeanrows

Go to the hospital immediately.

Why would you want to die? When you die you have nothing, your gone.

Your a young person with years and years and years ahead of you
to change your life. By the time your 30 you'll look back on this and
say to yourself what the hell was i thinking.

Your life can change dramatically in seconds so you can only imagine
how dramatically it can change in years.

Your life is your one chance do not throw it away.

Set yourself a platform for recovering over a long period (months or years)
to slowly bring yourself socially back together and your mental health will
follow.

Good luck to you:)

Kiera

Go to the hospital immediately.

The amount of paracetamol you took will seriously damage your liver. You are in pain now but its nothing compared to what you’ll get. If you would like to die and very slow and painful death then stay away but no matter how much you want to die I doubt you’d want to go out like this. Please go to the hospital. You need treatment asap!

They will not put you into a looney ward. They will pump you full of potassium to try and fix the damage you have done to yourself. I trained to be a nurse for 2 years so have seen this. You will however be told to speak to the physiatrist. They will not send you into a looney bin for taking one overdoes but they will want to help you.

Please get a taxi there now.

Best of luck.

K
x

LegacyUser

Weathercheck wrote:

Go to the hospital immediately.

Why would you want to die? When you die you have nothing, your gone.

Your a young person with years and years and years ahead of you
to change your life. By the time your 30 you'll look back on this and
say to yourself what the hell was i thinking.

Your life can change dramatically in seconds so you can only imagine
how dramatically it can change in years.

Your life is your one chance do not throw it away.

Set yourself a platform for recovering over a long period (months or years)
to slowly bring yourself socially back together and your mental health will
follow.

Good luck to you:)

But thats just it. I WANT to be gone.
There is obviously something seriously wrong with me that I did what I did. But HOW dos it get better.
WHEN does it get better?
And how much better will it be when they throw me into the loony bin and leave me to rot???????
I am sorry to be moaning all about it on this board but I am so low. I dont think I would have the courage to try and take more pills (and I dont have any left anyway) or do anything else so I cant even do that.
I know what I sound like, a crybaby who is all missing his woman and thats true, thats what I am. I am just fallen apart and cant put myself together again. I want to ring friends but all I want to talk about is how I feel and they are seick of me talking like that.
Life is so unfair and I hate it. Maybe death would be kind but that seems unavailable. What sort of person hopes they have wrecked their kidney or liver? Someone who dosnt deserve to live maybe? But I do deserve to live, I am not a bad person at all, was always kind and helpful and this is how I am repayed.
I watch my name is earl and keep thinking about his karma list. Maybe I should do a list. But I am afraid to go to the hospital now. Do they really put you in psyche ward??????

!

AngryBadger

You need to get to the hospital mate, you're looking at ending this like it'll just be a long sleep, because when we're asleep we feel safe.

Go to the hospital, get checked out let them sort your kidneys if you have done some damage.

Then maybe try to find another councillor, or someone else to talk to. If that councillor is no good, find another and keep at it until you find something to help you along.

You miss your ex because she filled a void you felt you couldn't fill yourself, and now that she's gone you're just elft with that void. But you're wrong, you ca fill it on your own, it just takes patience, and a lof of effort.

Get a taxi out there now, and when this is sorted try one thing every day that might make you feel a little bit better, then try somethign else the next day. keep at it and that's the best advice I ca give you. But for te peace of mind of everone on here get a taxi to the hospital.

sullivk

U need to go 2 hospital immediately, u have obviously damaged ur kidneys by taking so many pills...

It's understandable that u feel this way but it doesnt hav2 b like this.
There are people available 2 help u and talk thru ur problems with u.

Dont give up on life, things are sure 2 get better but thats only if u get the help u really need.
Life takes so many turns in such a short time, u will find love with some1 else,
u CAN b happy again. Why waste ur life?

Things will only happen if u make them happen...
U aren't mad or crazy, u are just ill, it can happen 2 any 1 of us, but it can also b helped...

go 2 the hospital, tell them u would like 2 b referred 2 a psychiatrist for help with ur problems.

I wish u the best of luck with ur life, dont throw it away

Zulu

Your heart broken, but you'll heal if you want to. You need to realise that in 5 years your life can be completly different if you want it to be. You can be happy, if you want to be.

Firstly, please go to the hospital. You need to get this pain sorted out firstly. After that you can consider what you want to do. Leave work and go to the hospital now. Your body is fighting hard to keep you alive. You recognise that this is a mental issue. You owe it to yourself to go to a hospital.

antodeco

goto the hospital firstly. Get ur health sorted out.

I was in a similar situation to you before. It really does suck, but it will get better. Take up even something like weight lifting in your own place. This helped me. It also increases your self confidence. Just remember, sometimes your life needs to fall apart so you can rebuilt it correctly and your way. Life gets better. Think of it like this, theres probably 1000 women out there in the same boat as you. Want to end it, because they think its easier. They would love to find someone like you. For every low you have, you have a high. I nearly lost my kidneys, I drank too much vodka and passed out. my kidneys started failing. it was horrible. Met a girl in there in a similar situation, and now we're really good friends. Trust me, it WILL get better.

Best of luck

Marksie

Please please go to the hospital, dont delay.

You need to be checked out.

you are much to precious and individual to go like this. There is help out there not just "shrinks" but behavioural therapists who can help.

There will be people devastated if you decide to leave us in this way.

I was in a similar situation as you, and all seemed dark, but with the help of my doctor and even people in worked with, i turned it around, you can do it. There is so much to live for and you are not a bad person

You are a good person in a bad situation.

The first step in changing this is to go to hospital. Please take that step, you will find that a path will open up for you always.

LegacyUser

OK, OK I am going to the A and E ward soon.
I told my boss that I think I took too many paracetmol on sat as I had bad headache and he said that it can damage liver, he is going to get one of the reps to drop me up, he is really worried.
I better not be put in the psyche ward!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am depressed not mad!!!!!!
I think my boss suspects differently but hast said anything except that its dangerous to take to many tablets and we dont even keep paracetmol in the office as its so dangerous?
What is the difference between a councillor and a psychitrist?
Are they better as the two councillors I went to were idiots tbh and I went in with open mind, I do believe that people with mental problems can be helped.
They seemed more interested in telling me how great they were and how they would fix me up good to get on with life but they didnt at all.
Maybe a psychitrist can do better with me?
I know its says its not a medical board but does anyone know how bad it could be? I am really afraid now that I have ****ed myself up worse.
Sorry to bring this onto boards but I really dont have any one else to talk to except on the other forums and they are not for this topic of course.

Mrs_Doyle

I am afraid my reponse is more emotive then logical - but you are only 25 years old.
You are just begining your adult life, there really is not reason why you can't quit the life you have right now and start again, with a clean slate.

By the sounds of things, you have not got much to lose, whats stopping you moving down the country, or to another part of the country, starting a new job, a new life?

Of course your ex is going to creep into your thoughts, you wouldn't be human if she didn't, and yes, it hurts, and yes, you want to be with her, or at least be able to move on, and its hard, and its horrible and it's dark - but you are not alone.
Right this very second there are thousands of people feeling that same hurt, wishing they could curl up in a ball, fall asleep and never wake up.... but they don't do it, and you don't need to do it either.

What did this girl see in you when you got together? She must have seen something she likes, smart, witty, funny, caring, considerate - whatever it was, it was attractive, and they are still qualities that you possess, you have just forgotten about them.

If you could wish for anything what would be? and it can't be to get back with your ex.
I imagine that your wishes could be very obtainable, you just need a helping hand stepping out of the dark hole you have fallen into!

Marksie

I have had it wrote:

I know its says its not a medical board but does anyone know how bad it could be? I am really afraid now that I have ****ed myself up worse.

It cant be worse than the state you are in now. It can only get better. It wont be fast or easy,but it will be worthwhile.

Get to that hospital fast and get a liver function done

Dreamer 7

Best of luck in the hospital OP, we are all here for you to listen when you need to talk, please come back and let us know how you are, it can be impossible to see the bigger picture when you are lost in the darkness. You are lucky to be alive , there are so many who wanted to live but have been taken away from us all.

Ur boss sounds like he cares and you have us to chat to too so take this small piece of comfort and build on it. Life can sh*t on you but it takes a better person to rise above it than take the "easy " way out. You may think you are alone but believe me if something did happen to you there would be many people wishig you would have talked to them, or blaming themselves for not helping.

Looking forward to hearing from you!

Tobias Greeshman

I have had it wrote:

What is the difference between a councillor and a psychiatrist?

A counsellor is trained to listen to your problems, and not much more. The advice that they can give is very limited. The idea behind how they work is to help you open up and deal with your problems by getting them out in the open.

A Psychiatrist is a professional in the field of mental illness. They can prescribe drugs to help with a mental illness. They can also give you an assessment, to properly diagnose what you are suffering from.

galwaydude18

Good luck in the hospital! Everything will turn out ok in the end! We are to help you!....

Anti

What your going through is hard. But things can only get better from here.

My advise to you would be to go and get your head sorted out ( after you go to A&E ) And if you have any access to money, head off traveling, somewhere like nepal. If you dont have money hit the redit union for a few grand

rsta

Well glad you've decided to go to the hospital. They will check you out and probably ask you to go to counselling too. But they won't force you to do anything.

Its very sad that you felt so low that you took all those pills. You are lucky to be alive, thats some combination you took. I hope you havent seriously damaged your insides.

Maybe this will help you get out of this depressed rut you have been in since you split with your ex.

Good luck at the hospital and let us know what happens, we are always here for you.

dr.bollocko

Jesus.
Is there not anything more someone can do when someone actually posts to a forum indicating they want to and have tried to kill themselves?

I mean is there not some way to trace a user, or inform the police or escalate the problem or something? I mean it is one thing to ask for help but quite another to be.... this ****ed up.... poor guy.

Kiera

dr.bollocko wrote:

Jesus.
Is there not anything more someone can do when someone actually posts to a forum indicating they want to and have tried to kill themselves?

I mean is there not some way to trace a user, or inform the police or escalate the problem or something? I mean it is one thing to ask for help but quite another to be.... this ****ed up.... poor guy.

I hear what you're saying but i think it was more a cry for help than a suicide attempt. At least he's going to get some help now.

LegacyUser

I think the very fact that an unregistered user can't be traced opens up a channel for people like our desperate friend who wouldn't otherwise ask for help in the conventional way.

.....................................................................................................


First things first... dude, you're in a bit of a catch 22. The cycle you're in is a real hard one to break out of because depression can perpetuate itself. In other words, how can you be expected to make all the right decisions if you're acutley unhappy?

It's amazing how mood can affect our judgement.

You've got to break the cycle somehow, and perhaps seeking professional help is the way to go. (btw, a Psychiatrist is a bit like a neurologist. They try to understand the brain in terms of it's chemistry, and therfore treat the brain with drugs. A Psychologist tries to understand the mind in terms of its metaphysical components, and usually treats with a bias towards psycho-analytical therapies)


What I'll say to you is this.... try and be as objective as possible when looking at everything.

...you're in a hole right now and you can't see the beautiful landscape. Heaven & Hell do exist, they are mindsets for which we may all pay a visit. Try and see that the very essence of life is CHANGE; and you're WILL (or lack of) is all that is required to change your life (and other's).

Grasp this and you'll be on the path to recovery, and the wisdom you'll gather down here at the deepest, darkest depths of your soul will enhance & enrich your life to such an extent.


If you survive this, you will be a changed man, so don't be afraid to change.


Love & god bless.

om

Magic Pips

What you are in is a rut, a black hole.

Where you can't see beyond the here and now. But there is so much more out there. you just need to be strong and help yourself, maybe ask your friend for some help.

I'd say a lot of us have been here, i know i have (to some degree) but at the end of the day why do something that will hurt you, when you can do things that make you happy.

You've been happy before, you'll be happy again - trust me.

LegacyUser

I am absoltuly amazed at the amount of people who are heartbroken and take this route! Love yourself first, if you cant love yourselves, how you you love anyone else!

seriously, learn to love yourself first and then it will all fall into to place!

take care and lots of love, do seek help and chin up, it will seem better in a few months.....

toodle - ooh....