Am I Being A Doormat

LegacyUser

Now this is not some teenager cry baby thing before anyone says it.
My story is this.
Myself and this girl lets call her Mary work for a sports club training under age teams at weekends.
I love the work and we usually get on like a hot on fire.
Technically shes my boss but we share the work. And we both report back to the chairman.
I am going unreg for this.

Lately I think shes been taking advantage of me. I cover for her when she goes away or is busy with work and I really don’t mind doing that every now and then. But I have been doing more and more recently with little or no notice( a text the night before at 11) and its for silly stuff I find out later a play or something.
I never get replies to my texts and I only ever hear from her now when she wants to know something.

I have been very loyal to her when things were rocky at the club and this is how she repays me.

We are great friends but this is pissing me off, I have to rearrange things as to not let down the kids. I have taken days off work to arrange trainings, parent meetings, matches etc. I end up opening the club house, waiting around till the kids are picked up and the bloody paperwork. This isn’t my job.
My life is being put on hold.

I have hinted lots.

What should I do.????

Beruthiel

ANnoyed??????? wrote:

a text the night before at 11

You are been taken advantage of, she knows you like her and is using you as a result.

Next time you get a text like the above, tell her you never got it or didn't see it until the next morning. Allow her to be dropped in it and get in trouble.

StormWarrior

In future if she wants a favour, either say you are unable to comply, or just don't answer the text, so she thinks you got it, don't cover her and say you didn't get a text. She sounds like she deserves it.

Khannie

I'd echo what Beruthiel said. I'd add that turning off your phone might be helpful. 11pm is taking the piss tbh.

py2006

Yea, you most definitely are being taken advantage of!! I suggest you nail that one in the head! (not literally)

I too was very much taking advantage of by a girl who knew I liked her! She totally used me and it took me a while to cop on.

What alot of people said to me and this will be true of you to is that it is "partly your fault" for letting her get away with it.

Do as the above posters have advised. Either tell her you have plans made or don't respond at all.

Anti

your her bitch. accept it or do something about it.

A stern talking to should do the job. explain howyou feel taken advantage of and tell her it stops now.

Beruthiel

py2006 wrote:

it is "partly your fault" for letting her get away with it

I agree with that.
You are only a doormat if you allow yourself to be one.

A Primal Nut

ANnoyed??????? wrote:

Lately I think shes been taking advantage of me. I cover for her when she goes away or is busy with work and I really don’t mind doing that every now and then. But I have been doing more and more recently with little or no notice( a text the night before at 11) and its for silly stuff I find out later a play or something.

Test her back saying you can't cover for her (you have to work, too tired, etc!)
[Qoute]
I never get replies to my texts and I only ever hear from her now when she wants to know something.
[/quote]
Don't reply to her when she wants to know something.

I have hinted lots.

Tell her!
[qoute]
What should I do.????[/QUOTE]
Learn to stand up for yourself. Be a man. If, as a previous poster suggested, you like her more than a friend, then she will respect you more if you stand up for yourself. Some women will often push the boundaries to see how far they can go and if you let them walk all over you they will lose respect for you very quickly. Whether you like her as more than a friend or not, learn to stand up to people. I know your worried about letting down the kids but its her responsibility and she has to learn. Tell her if she keeps on not turning up you will tell the chairman. If she keeps doing it, then tell him! Simple!

Tobias Greeshman

I agree with everything that's being said so far, basically just learn to say no, and act dumb and say you never got such a text, if that's not working then have a chat with her, and tell her its just not on expecting you to cover for her all the time.

How about dropping her in it, you both report back to a chairman, how about letting him know that she clearly isn't pulling her weight. Bit vendictive but what the hell, the way she's acting I wouldn't rule it out.

LegacyUser

Switch yer phone off.
U never got her texts ...

LegacyUser

I am not interested in her in that way at all, believe me. She is just a friend well the way shes been acting who knows

I am going to start ignoring her texts, I really don’t want the kids to suffer because of this its their club after all and they deserve better.

She can start keeping her own promises like extra matches and trips herself without me.

Thank you for agreeing that her behaviour is terrible, I know people are busy but for f*ck sake that’s no excuse.

biko

If she is asking you to do something that you should not do (her job) then make a note of it. That way you can confront her after 2 weeks or so and say "These things I did for you, you need to shape up your act".
Perhaps she is not aware of how much you are doing her work?

oulu

Just say no that you have something planned aleady , say it a few times and she will get the hint, if you are a doormat you have to take some of the blame for that,