Girlfriend texted me by mistake

LegacyUser

i just received the following txt off gf who was with sister in cork over the weekend,least that what she told me.even rang me on sat to say hi and txt saturday night.

''hi babe! had a g8 w/end, shame had to cm home, bt thats life!its back to sneakin again,sis is cool for cover story too! Love u xxxx''

what does that sound like to you?i am ready to explode, certainly cannot go home as I feel like blowing up.its only a matter of time before she cops she sent it to wrong phone so its out there now.clock is counting down and i expect a call anytime soon on this.i dont intend violence but i am so furious its giving me a headache.what do i do here as i am in serious rage.fckin bitch is 2 timing me,been together years and this out of blue.what do i do?its obvious its been goin on a while,her typing - love u xxxx!

i even collected her from heuston on sun eve,must have shared train with him on way back while stupid spa waits to pick her up.reaction is surprising,thought i would be heartbroken but am really angry and want REVENGE on her.feel like doing what women do and chuckin her stuff out into rain or something althoug i have to be careful i dont break law either.

does anyoine think there any point in even discussin this with her? man she is so dumped as far as i can see.
bitch.

honestly, am i right to just dump her ass?i do/did love her and was considering askin her to marry me but now this? i make a hell of lot more money than she does and subsidise her a lot,even paid her train ticket to go down to 'see her sister' and even gave her 100 euros to spend on 'her nieces and nephews'
feel so stupid and angry.

will i be heartbroken late d'ya think, this is my initial reaction!!!!!!

mantrouble

It really looks like she is doing the dirt on you man.

You have to talk to her but I dont see how she can deny it. Try your hardest not to get angry.

You have to break up with her, its gonna be real hard but you will get over it.

Good luck

zoro

Looks like she's caught.

copacetic

i know it's not this easy, but you need to dump her and move on.. it's not like it was a one off or she was drunk/made a mistake (not that it'd be ok then or anything)

Ruu_Old

It doesn't look too good. Revenge isn't the answer as angry as you might be. Sit down and confront her about it.

Zulu

I'd just calmly point out to her that she's made a school boy error and can take a walk.
Don't bother with revenge.

jcoote

maybe the txt to u wasn't a mistake

I am sorry to hear that man.It does sound like she did the dirt on you.However I think you should talk to her first.Don't let her back into your life if it is true.

Have things been going bad lately between the two of ye?

Mr. Presentable

She may claim her sister borrowed her phone and texted you by mistake!

It may even be true.

I say sit tight, say nothing and observe. When you have proof, then confront her.

BoozyBabe

Yea, can't see any other explanation other than she's cheating on you.

Try to keep your cool, but unless there's a really believable explanation I'd dump her.

sorry to hear it.

Move on, we're not all that bad.

Zebra3

nipplenuts wrote:

She may claim her sister borrowed her phone and texted you by mistake!

It may even be true.

I say sit tight, say nothing and observe. When you have proof, then confront her.

If you text someone from another phone, you sign your name.

You should confront her asap before she cops her mistake and creates a cover story to string you along another while.

Best of luck.

LegacyUser

1. Calm Down

2. Send her back a text :

That's Great, baby. Happy U had a
lovely w/end. Oh, btw, can U have yer
belongings packed up by the time I get
home ? - xxxx

I think U get the idea - but stay kool.
Cheating => finished.

Trinity

Well you definately have to confront her. Try not to lose your temper though.

I know how you feel. Happened to me before i was sick to the stomach, my heart was racing.


Its a horrible thing to do to another person and the worst possible way to find out.

be the bigger person and walk away with your head held high. Shes not worth getting revenge on. Hopefully what goes around comes around and her secret lover will dump her ass when he sees what a leech she is.

I take it you live together? thats a tough one, if you didnt you could just reply to her text saying, glad you had a good weekend on my money. And yes it is a pity you had to come home. The good news is you dont have to sneak around anymore as you are now single. Have a nice life.

LikeOhMyGawd!

I'm gutted for you man. In your position I'd dump her without mercy. If she's living with you and dependent on you then all the more so. I'd so feel like a right mug for subsidising the trip away apart from the abuse of trust and slyness on her part. Just keep the rage in check but be ruthless in getting rid of her, no negotiating and if she starts the waterworks don't be consoling her either.

edited to add: make sure you talk her into doing anal sex before you dump her.

haunted-room

B*tch!! similar thing happened to me once. How can people say keep calm in a situation like that!

Kazaanova

Really sorry to hear whats happened.

Ask her to explain, either way, you'll regret not giving her a chance to. You'll know yourself wether or not shes lying if she has an excuse.

If she has been cheating on you you've every right to be angry at her. Just get her our of your life. If you're heart broken later, just be glad you didn't end up getting married to someone who'd do something so low on ya.

Tough one man, hope things go OK.

foxyboxer

dump her now.
never think about her again.
how old are you?
there's plenty more out there. you don't need the headaches!
if they start giving you headaches deliver an ultimatum or move on.
think of your own happiness first.

Trinity

I think he means her sister lives in cork so thats that excuse out the window.

So she actually went to cork with the secret lover guy for the weekend that you paid for?? Thats harsh.

It'll hurt for a while but you'll get over it, we all do!

skywalker

Dont really see how that text could be interpreted any other way than she is cheating on you. Sorry about that.

Trinity1 wrote:

reply to her text saying, glad you had a good weekend on my money. And yes it is a pity you had to come home. The good news is you dont have to sneak around anymore as you are now single. Have a nice life.

Perfect reply to that text.

manonthemoon

Sorry Dude,

Two timing is a low thing to do. To continually do it is even worse.

All you can do is drop her. As for revenge, you will only lower yourself to her level, if you flip out. You did nothing wrong.

DTMFN (Drop that M***** F***** Now!)

Walk away, stay cool and HOLD YOUR HEAD UP HIGH.

I hope things work out for you

Motm

mloc

Try first to calm down. I know you won't really be able to calm until you get closure on the issue, but try to calm down first before you do anything.

Then meet up with her, and show her the text, and ask her what the story is. If she's cheating, dump her there and then. And don't look back. Yes it will probably bother you afterwards for ages, both her cheating and you dumping her, but trust me, if that's what she's doing, you need to get out of that relationship fast.

And then sleep with her sister

LegacyUser

thanks mantrouble, i just need to know that splittin up with gf of 8 yrs is right thing to do.im very proud in some ways but i treat her like a queen (honestly do!), rarely argue, always have great times/sex/chats etc. i am fairly good looking (well she is a babe so i must be ok too if she with me?) and do get a bit of attention somethimes when out,but never,ever looked at another girl.i feel so stupid but the anger is unreal.i think i will just go to hotel and chill for night and switch phone off,let her stew as i cannot remember ever been this angry about anything.ever.

i have just told best mate and he cant beleive it either,almost as shocked as me,his gf and her are great friends too and he said he will never talk to again if i say the word, he is a great mate and also said he would never say a word or treat her different if we sorted things out as well (meaning he thinks there is something to sort out - as if.......) he thinks i should stay away from her alright,do hit and run on gaff and pick up clothes for a few days and keep away til i calm down. good advice,but i still get impression he thinks i should sort it out! never,i dont hold grudges much but the betrayal is beyond belief to me. she can get her ass out of my gaff too as it is in my name and though she pays mortgage, i am on deeds (and funny too, she was only asking a few weeks ago about putting her name on deed whihc i saw no probs with, sure were we not going to stay together always like planned?)

but for now, i think its time to stay away from her as i feel like exploding.

Trinity

NortSoide wrote:

1. Calm Down

2. Send her back a text :

That's Great, baby. Happy U had a
lovely w/end. Oh, btw, can U have yer
belongings packed up by the time I get
home ? - xxxx

I think U get the idea - but stay kool.
Cheating => finished.

We must have posted at the same time but yours is better

Kashkai

Cool down first as you won't think straight with your head in a spin. Go for a walk, see a mate, but make sure you are out of the house/flat before she gets home. You need to think this through. Has there been any warning signs. Has she been away a lot, busy texting, etc.

There might be an innocent explanation for all this and you going ballistic could **** up the relationship once and for all. When you calm down, you can show her the text and ask for an explanation. It might be bad news but if you are calm, you'll be able to handle the situation better.

I've been there m8. I was living with a girl for 3 1/2 years when I came home off night duty early and found her in bed with another bloke. I never suspected a thing and felt a complete tool. I blew the top as you do, but then again I actually saw her in bed with him as opposed to a suspected affair like you think your girl is having.

If she denies it, you deserve an explanation as to why she sent the text. I have to admit, it sounds bad but give her a chance to explain herself. If she cares about you, she'll clear this up. If she's defensive or even aggressive about it, tell her to **** off out of your life, but do it in a calm manner as this will unnerve her more than you flying into a rage. Don't even consider going back to her as your head will be constantly wrecked wondering if she's screwing around again.

Good luck

Duras

Ready 2 explode wrote:

honestly, am i right to just dump her ass?i do/did love her and was considering askin her to marry me but now this? i make a hell of lot more money than she does and subsidise her a lot,even paid her train ticket to go down to 'see her sister' and even gave her 100 euros to spend on 'her nieces and nephews'
feel so stupid and angry.

will i be heartbroken late d'ya think, this is my initial reaction!!!!!!

I'd say dump her already... no need to confront her... Don't get violent or anything but no way you should forgive her. Just tell her that you are thinking about the relationship for a long time and you realised that she is not good enough for you. That will be a nice revenge I'd say.

nipplenuts wrote:

She may claim her sister borrowed her phone and texted you by mistake!

It may even be true.

That wouldve been so nice, but from what I understand the txt is about "returning home after the weekend", and the OP's gf was at her sister not the opposite...

That's a very sad story OP... I am sure you are very hurt... being with her for a long time and thinking of marriage and all these things... Good that you found out now what sort of person she is and not after marriage or kids...

Best of luck

foxyboxer

Think Michael Corleone in the godfather....ice cold, calculating....(but without the murder :rolleyes: ) if you've been together that long, expect some tears otherwise she's a goner.

Darren

Dump her.......but give her one last seeing to first;) (bag up, obviously!) Sorry if that is a bit callous.

If she won't give out, accuse her of being unfaithful and then she definitely will because she will panic that you know something and try her best to persuade you otherwise. In fact, It could be kinky action o'clock.

If these suggestion fails you could go with mloc's suggestion and screw her sister.

Mad Dog

Yeah man you gotta dump her now !!!!

Same thing happened to me about 3 years ago when my then GF was cheating behind my back and was treating me like s**t and when I got the guts to walk away it was only then when collecting my stuff together that I found handwritten msgs from this guy to her and to be honest it hurt like hell and like you I thought this was the end of the world and I would never get over it.

That was where my best mate came in and took hold of me and got me out and about and basically in the end I had a ball.

I have now been seeing this wonderful girl for the last 18 months and couldn't be happier.

So what I am saying to you is you need to find the courage to finish it regardless of her excuses and you WILL get over it.

I hope all goes well OP

Rgds

Mad Dog

Amazotheamazing

Don't get angry, it will onlt give her an emotional advantage becuase you won't be thinking straight. Meet in public and have someone collect you in a few minutes after you meet her so you can't get too worked up. Tell her it's over and leave.

evad_lhorg

oh the bitch. sort her out!

Mr Magnolia

Sorry this happened to you, doesn't sound good.

If you fly off the handle you'll end up just shouting over one and other, whereas if you're calm and collected you will be much clearer articulating your points, and she'll realize what she's thrown away. Good luck, it will definitely work out for the best. Keep us posted

Ready 2 explode wrote:

though she pays mortgage, i am on deeds (and funny too, she was only asking a few weeks ago about putting her name on deed whihc i saw no probs with.

did you put her name on the deeds....

meepins

sleep with the sister

Magic Pips

ok i must be completely different to people out here... man i'd get on the phone and arrange a bootycall for when you know shes going to catch you...

make her cry...

feel better...

walk away...

Cool and calculated.

I'd never do the dirt on someone more than once, it's disrespectful.

EDIT: me and meepins are on the same level...

haunted-room

I cant understand why people do this! Two girls have done it to me in the past and Im not exactly the most trusting person anymore. Witches!!

adonis

revenge, revenge revenge...it mind sound petty but u want to hurt her back..
and also, have u quizzed ur best mate as to his whereaboutslast weekend?

dooloo

Dont even think about forgiving her. after eight years together, she's living off you, cheating behind your back and not feeling one bit guilty.

just be cool. put your happy face on and walk through the door as if nothing has happened. hop in to bed with her for the last time and have your wicked way.

then turn around, fart and tell her to get the **** out and if she ever comes anywhere near you again, you'll get a restraining order

Magic Pips

On the business side of things...

Start getting your finances in order, discuss the split of assets with someone who knows... might be worth a lawyers fees...

have yourself armed with knowlege and get as much out of her as you can.

Good luck man
wouldnt wish it on anyone.

pablo21

I feel your pain my friend. Cool down firstly and then confront her.
Then dump her. Let us know how this goes for you.

Be Strong!!

sullivk

Is she at home now?? If not just go home, call out the locksmith, get locks changed, put her belongings in black bags n throw them in the garden!

It is truly awful wat shes done and its obvious its been going on a while...
This happened to my boyfriend b4 with a previous g/f...he dumped her!

Kick her ass 2 the kerb!!!
GOOD LUCK!!!

Oh yeah, and go with dooloo's plan...

Trinity

No i dont understand either. Together 8 years thats even worse!

They either dont realise (or dont care) how devastating this betrayal is to someone they apparently love. It can take such a long time to build up your confidence again and learn trust with someone new and even then the fear of going through this again is always in the back of your mind.

It seems its not just men either!

Try to calm down, as i said it'll be hard for a while but rather that you know now than a few (more) years down the line

walk away with your head held high, shes in the wrong not you, dont give her your dignity.

lets know how you get on.

Sleepy

Don't stay in a hotel yourself, it's your house, she's the one that's being playing away make her move out. NortSoide's text sounds perfect tbh.

edanto

*get a life*

ya had me going... but hey I kinda pity you.

Ickle Magoo

Together 8yrs & she happily takes the money to go away with another bloke without blinking an eyelid? Can't believe you are considering NOT dumping her tbh?!

Keep your head tho...if there is a house & finances involved then you need to be canny & keep the anger to one side until you have sorted out what you are going to do...if she pays the mortgage does she have any rights to the house? With that in mind I wouldn't move out if I were you. Certainly pack her bags & have them on the doorstep waiting for her - but be aware that may not be the end of it...:mad:

LegacyUser

UPDATE:

well the bull has begun in ernest!she rang n said that her MATE in work sent the txt about doin dirty on her fella,so i said that she obviously agrees with that sort of thing.she was wafflin and wafflin down the phone in panic,knowS she is cuaght by the scruff.i am proud of how i handled it.

i told her that its a shame she has to sneak around,wont it be much nicer to be out in open,she started bawlin cryin and i know she works in busy office so everyone must know in her place someting is up.whats freakin me now is how i am handlin it.like one poster said,be like d corleone and thats how i am being.i laughed at her tears and told her that i would be fair and give her until weekend to get the **** out of my LIFE, i had already got solicitor to sort out names on deeds to house (didnt but she dosnt know that) but just rang him to cancel.

MY WORDS: 'god,isnt it a terrible shame you got caught now, a few more weeks and you wouldve stiffed me for half MY lovely gaff,poor timing babe' and laughed.

was goin to hang up then but her being upset seems to make me feel better.but i guess it doesnt,i know soon i am gonna be heartbroken so i am clinging to fury now as it beats being all sad and cryin which will surely come soon. guess its better it happened now than a few years down line when we did have kids,im 35 and shes 33 and she has said about kids in the last year.deffo wont be sleeping with her again,she is another mans now and he can keep her in all ways and give her a roof over her head.

dr.bollocko

What I would do, Is I would send her back the exact same text that she sent you. From your phone. While she is next to you.
Say nothing, act like normal, but watch what she does.
The normal reaction is the good ole cold sweat freak out wondering if it is a network or phone error, because u seem totally non-plussed.
Its just one way of potentially gathering more info on the situation.

I cannot believe 8 years!
But surely at this stage in an 8 year relationship she must be like "Whats wrong, honey?" and the whole horrible rigmarole has started.....

There are some incredibly inventive and mean but brilliant posts in this thread, and work away, but def get total proof first. U cant just do something crazy until you are totally, 100% sure beyond all doubt. While it may seem like you are now, U could be totally off.
Im trying to think.... how could anyone interpret that sms any other way than cheating.
Cant think of anything myself, other than some excuse about t9 being weird or someone else texting from the phone.... so if u confront her about it, there is no way she can say "Oh, I meant xxxxxxxxxx or yyyyyyyyyyy" because she is so caught, that even someone as adept at lying their hole off as me couldnt help her.

haunted-room

Get in touch with her sister maybe......And see if she was there at all

csm

actually edanto has hit on a point briefly there.

don't ask for details beyond the who (so as you can satisfy yourself it's not someone you already know). from my experience it offers short term relief but longterm pain.

it doesn't look good but i'd show her the text in as calm a manner as possible. if she hasn't realised already she sent it to you, then she will only cop it then. you'll know from her reaction whether there is an innocent explanation (although god knows what that might be, i can't think of one)

if you can't satisfy yourself completely that she hasn't been cheating then tell her it's over and walk away.

and definitely check out the financial ramifications with a lawyer as previously suggested

chrismon

Oh my god i cant believe that. That is possibly the worst thing that anybody can do to a person, get her out of your life as quick as possible. Tex back that message said earlier,then arrive back in the house about a min later and confront her about it. No-one deserves that,keep the head high mate and dont go down to her level, renevge is sweet but pointless as it will give you a bad name, her name is destroyed. The only type of revenge is to let EVERYBODY including her family what she is really like.
Good luck

dr.bollocko

Yeah thats a guud 'un.
Was thinking she could have met a friend, u know, for shopping or something but didnt want u to know about it. but then at the end of the text its "Love you, xxxx" But if she loves the guy she is flinging with, then why is she still with you? No offense, I mean logically right... if she cares enough about someone to have an affair, and cares enough to tell him she loves him, why is she still with you?

Trinity

dr.bollocko wrote:

Yeah thats a guud 'un.
Was thinking she could have met a friend, u know, for shopping or something but didnt want u to know about it. but then at the end of the text its "Love you, xxxx" But if she loves the guy she is flinging with, then why is she still with you? No offense, I mean logically right... if she cares enough about someone to have an affair, and cares enough to tell him she loves him, why is she still with you?

Good point but Maybe her secret lover is married or attached himself. She said in the text 'back to sneaking round'. I dont remember sneaking around to go shopping with a girlfriend!!

Think shes still with him cos as he said above - he treats her like a queen and subsidises her income. He paid for her train ticket to cork and he gaver her 100 to spend. She lives in his house. Why would she leave him? Shes got the best of both worlds.

oulu

[ (well she is a babe so i must be ok too if she with me?) Same as Billy Joel and Up down girl, Julia Roberts and Mr Lovitt,
but back to the topic you could reply back to her with the mess she sent you and say thanks babe you really blew it,Remember what they say once a cheat always a cheat if she is that is, You deserve better we all do, Is it possible that you are partly responsible ie got boring ,failed to show her affection you once did non stop just a thought, If it was me I would show her the text say nothing let her talk first, She may be a bade but she is acting like the other B if she is cheating which I think she is by reading your mail. If you want to get revenge I would say nothing shag her like a whore a real whore for the night then spill the beans and tell her fxxx off and video it all and show your mates.