what to think?

LegacyUser

Ok bear with me, il try making this as short as possible.

I have been seeing a guy for a couple of weeks (when i say seeing, i mean a few trips to the cinema and meeting up- nothing serious). Last weekend I was invited to a do and thought that i would take him as my guest,to see how we got on, he agreed and we went to the do. I am 22, he is 21! he will be known as guy A.

things started to go wrong pretty early in the day when he wouldnt make an effort with ANY of my mates- not a word would he speak. I politely asked him if he was ok and he just replied that he might go home and couldnt be bothered. If he was to do this, it was leaving me miles from home. this i didnt really appreciate. He spent the rest of the night making sure i never left him alone, but would barely speak to me and this was disasterous.

Cut to about 3am, we had eventually got a taxi close to home, to the next town. here he claimed that he was going home, once again leaving me alone to find a taxi on one of the busiest nights of the weekend. I stupidly followed him up the street, where he stood for about 45mins chatting to one of his 'mates' while I stood like a plank in the freezing cold.

Eventually I spotted a guy i used to see (guy and started talking to him. He put his arm around me but i pushed his hand away explaining about the guy behind me. Next thing, Guy A kicked me on the back of the leg and told me to **** off, and continued to walk up the street saying he was going home and i could do what i wanted.

I had already told my parents that i was staying with a friend so i couldnt go home. Guy B said I could stay at his (he would have the sofa) and he would take me home in the morning. I agreed and started walking with him. Being both quite drunk, we ended up kissing. Next thing I felt someone punching me on the back- its was guy A. He crossed the street and started kicking at lamp posts before getting into a taxi and leaving. I just thought '**** him' and headed on back with guy B.

Now im just wondering what the hell guy A thought he was doing. Granted I did end up going with someone else, but it was only because he was being selfish and immature. Does anyone else think that wat I did was unreasonable??

LegacyUser

Guy A - doesn't exist any more.

He is a total stranger to U from now on.
U do not have any contact with him in any way.
The guy is a total scumbag.

Nevyn

Guy A clearly has no idea how to behave himself at all.
The was surely and rude to you and ignored you and then assulted you twice.
Fon't waste anynore time or toughts on him, be grateful you found out what he is like.

Zulu

He kicked and punched you.

He is a scumbag.

Ruu_Old

Guy A has no manners, cheek of him to lay a finger on you. Stay well away from him if you know whats good for you.

LegacyUser

yea iv been kinda thinking the same myself. its just small towns can talk and il be called the tramp for going off with someone else!! tis a cruel world!

Nevyn

Well you have a witness Guy b to the fact you were assulated you can press charges against guy A.

LegacyUser

true but i couldnt be bothered walking down that road!! rather just forget bout it and move on!! im taking it that thats the general consensus??

LegacyUser

1. U only had a few dates with him

2. He has made no effort to impress U

3. He has made no effort to respect U

4. He has verbally and physically assaulted U

4. F*ck the rest of the town

5. Read my last mail above again ...

6. On the udder hand, maybe Guy B is really decent ...

sinjin_smythe

Hang on just a second, you said that guy A kicked u in the leg and punched you in the back. That sounds very serious, however i kinda get the feeling that u are being a bit dramatic with your words, if he punched you in the back im sure you would have bruses and would feel quite painfull, but this guy b would never watch a grl getting bet up and do nothing. Is this the case?? maybe he just pointed you on the shoulder and told you to forget it while you were kissin this guy.

LegacyUser

Dramatic effect is abusing the personal issues forum. not in my nature! I have slight bruises just noting id complain bout! and guy B didnt witness it!and i didnt tell him!

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Have the bastard charged for assault two reasons

1) he has physially assaulted you. Plus, if he's done it to you he may do it again to some other girl and she may not be as lucky as you are to have guy B to help out.

2) The small-town talk is more likely to be about him in court on assault charges than about you.

dr.bollocko

No man should ever lay a hand on a woman in that situation. In my opinion, ignoring it is similar to condoning it. I can see that you just want to walk away and are probably thinking "glad that wanker is out of my life" but if I were you I would mention it to a) your brother(s) b) your father or c) some close male friends so they can teach him how to respect a lady.

Failing that, a local cop could just call around and have a word with him , no charges would be pressed, but you know.
The blood boils when I hear about this stuff.

jammie

You are were not being unreasonable, the guy kicked you for god's sake, you could go after him for assault....Well rid what I say and you were dead right to go off with guy b, I wouldve done the same myself but not before I kicked guy a where it hurts

Rb

dr.bollocko wrote:

but if I were you I would mention it to a) your brother(s) b) your father or c) some close male friends so they can teach him how to respect a lady.

"Get me mates after him" eh?You're just as much of a scumbag so.
No amount of beating will teach him, his behaviour is most likely inherited from his father or bad parenting, or the consequences of what he witnessed in his own household growing up. Its what he knows and should probably seek help for it.

OP: He has no excuse for his behaviour and as has been said, ignoring it is just as bad as condoning it. I'd report it and see if you can press charges, or at least talk to the Gardaí and see what can be done about it.

Then make sure you tell as many people as you can about him and what he did, word tends to spread nicely afterall.

wyndham

Guy A is a toerag by all accounts. Where did you meet him, as a matter of interest? Hope he didn't come recommended?

Nehpets

How did guy B not witness it if he was talking to you when you were kicked and kissing you when you were punched?

fuzzywiggle

Guy A is an obvious scumbag. Be thankful that you found out what he was like sooner rather than later.

AngryBadger

If I was Guy B I'd have broken Guy A in half, that **** is not on.

sinjin_smythe

wondering wrote:

He put his arm around me but i pushed his hand away explaining about the guy behind me. Next thing, Guy A kicked me on the back of the leg and told me to **** off

we ended up kissing. Next thing I felt someone punching me on the back- its was guy A.

I hate to say it but your story is a little strange, you tell me guy b didnt witness it. Then you say to another poster that Guy b witnessed it. its probably just a case where im wrong, but it is a strange story. I mean thats a strong accusation to make, that a guy bet you up.

Húrin

I hope you're not considering anything other than an absolute cessation of contact with guy A.

Nevyn

AngryBadger, advocating volience is not permitted on this forum, unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

Procrastinator

Girl, you go now and buy yourself a pair of running shoes and if you EVER see guy A again, then Run away in the opposite direction and don't look back!

This guy has a problem or perhaps even several problems.
What's really worrying is that he hasn't even tried to hide any of this anti-social behaviour in himself.
Most freaks know enough to appear Ok in the beginning - this guy doesn't even have any self-awareness, or worse, he doesn't even care.

LegacyUser

ok to clear up any confusion, guy B saw nothing of this at all, i didnt tell him because he would have started a full scale war in the street- not because he is a scumbag, but because he would have been sticking up for me. The reason he didnt see any of this is that guy A had waited until guy B was talking to others and was away from me for a bit. when i said 'next thing' it was simply to aviod the story being longer than it needed to be by ommitting details like 'guy B walked away momentarily' if you know what i mean!

sorry if this all caused confusion, i just wanted to get points of view as well as my mates! My mates father is a guard and thanks to her brief mentioning of it last night, he is taking a trip to see him to have a quiet word, as suggested by a few above! Thanks for all replies- they've been really helpful!

Ps: happy ending - Guy B text last nite and im meeting him again at the weekend!

ircoha

Dump Guy A.
drunk or not
pissed off at u or not
hitting a woman, no matter what the reason is not on.