Girl last night

Sony

Hi everyone,

I was out with work last night and ended up kissing one of the girls in my office

one by one everyone went home until it was left with just me and this girl. I like her (no doubt about it) and I sort of knew she liked me to be honest just by how she acted around me-even though she flirts with everyone else also. So, near the end of the night she was all over me and kept trying to kiss me - she was really drunk and so was I but I had the sense to keep stopping her when she tried to kiss me and asking her did she realise what she was doing and how this would affect us workwise - she told me she really liked me since we met in her own drunken way,so did I and we kissed......

Then came the problem - I come back from the toilets - shes over talking to some other lads (grand) and she starts kissing one of them!!:eek:

She then see's me and runs over to me as I was grabbing my jacket and keeps saying sorry - I told her I just couldnt believe she'd do something that stupid and make me look and feel like such an idiot, she told me she was sorry again and I accepted the apology saying more a less this "look, you're locked ,you did something stupid and I accept your apology. We have to work together so I dont want this to mess anything up in anyway" - she tried to kiss me again and I stopped her as I didnt think it was appropriate in any way.

I sat with her for a few more minutes and she went really quiet while frowning as If it was ME that did something wrong so I asked her "will I just leave you with your friends (she said her friends had showed up) and head home?" she replied with "yeah, fcuk off" I said "what dyou mean fcuk off I did nothing wrong,Im tryna leave this on the best of terms" she says "just fcuk off" again and I head for the bus on my own.

We're both new to our job and we dont know anyone else really so Im a bit afraid with what might happen - I shouldnt have mixed business with pleasure I know but the girl is a really genuine,lovely girl WHEN SOBER.

what should I say to her on monday morning? and did I do ANYTHING wrong? I've also been thinking "****, she was really drunk and what if her friends were'nt really there - I just left her in the pub on her own" Finding it hard to think clearly about it myself!

Nice one for reading

spinandscribble

shes a bad drunk. come monday she'll either wont remember or be so ashamed or confused she'll leave you alone. either way take her aside and tell her you're willing to forget for her sake what happened and that you still wanta be good work mates. if shes still playing the victim or that you did something wrong tell her you werent drunk ergo maybe your memorys better?

Darragh29

Sony wrote:

Hi everyone,

I was out with work last night and ended up kissing one of the girls in my office

one by one everyone went home until it was left with just me and this girl. I like her (no doubt about it) and I sort of knew she liked me to be honest just by how she acted around me-even though she flirts with everyone else also. So, near the end of the night she was all over me and kept trying to kiss me - she was really drunk and so was I but I had the sense to keep stopping her when she tried to kiss me and asking her did she realise what she was doing and how this would affect us workwise - she told me she really liked me since we met in her own drunken way,so did I and we kissed......

Then came the problem - I come back from the toilets - shes over talking to some other lads (grand) and she starts kissing one of them!!:eek:

She then see's me and runs over to me as I was grabbing my jacket and keeps saying sorry - I told her I just couldnt believe she'd do something that stupid and make me look and feel like such an idiot, she told me she was sorry again and I accepted the apology saying more a less this "look, you're locked ,you did something stupid and I accept your apology. We have to work together so I dont want this to mess anything up in anyway" - she tried to kiss me again and I stopped her as I didnt think it was appropriate in any way.

I sat with her for a few more minutes and she went really quiet while frowning as If it was ME that did something wrong so I asked her "will I just leave you with your friends (she said her friends had showed up) and head home?" she replied with "yeah, fcuk off" I said "what dyou mean fcuk off I did nothing wrong,Im tryna leave this on the best of terms" she says "just fcuk off" again and I head for the bus on my own.

We're both new to our job and we dont know anyone else really so Im a bit afraid with what might happen - I shouldnt have mixed business with pleasure I know but the girl is a really genuine,lovely girl WHEN SOBER.

what should I say to her on monday morning? and did I do ANYTHING wrong? I've also been thinking "****, she was really drunk and what if her friends were'nt really there - I just left her in the pub on her own" Finding it hard to think clearly about it myself!

Nice one for reading

Let me get this straight... She snogs you, then snogs someone else within what sounds like 2 minutes, then you go to leave, she tells you to fu*k off not once but twice, and your worred about how she gets home!?!?!

Sounds like she has mega maturity issues. I wouldn't care if she was left sitting in a pub on her own, she's not your responsibility, is she!?!?! I'd have let the last fella she snogged worry about that. Don't let her make a doormat out of you, any more than she appears to have already!

Blazer

say nothing..it's not worth the hassles..just pretend that you don't remember the night very well and leave it at that..and use it as a warning in future...
remember something similiar happened to me and of course i had to talk about it the day after..boy...that turned out to be a mistake:D

Sony

thanks darragh and scrib - Im deffo no doormat when it comes to women, the only reason Im concerned is because Ive to work with her in future and her friends will be mine also so Im afraid with what she might tell them thats why I was so nice to her last night - even after she was with this other fella.

I still like her a lot from talking to her in work(ive only been out drinking with her once) but she'd have to do an awful lot of convincing for me to be with her again...shes a little shy so I think theres a good chance she wont bring it up on monday - I'd love to get it out of the way so If she doesnt do you think I should say something? I know i dont owe her anything but for my own sake id like SOMETHING to be said to clear the air!

does everyone else agree it was ok me just leaving her like that? cause thats the only thing I see that was possibly not right considering how drunk she was and possibly on her own

Fanny Cradock

you should count yourself lucky that you've realised early on what she is capable of. let it be a warning to you.

just play it cool around her when you see her next. if she mentions anything just shrug it off - all the time being aware of what you could be letting yourself in for. if she doesn't mention anything it is another sign for you to stay away. keep it civil (if you are new to the job you don't want any awarkness), but avoid any other similar contact in future.

:::edit:::

just read your last post and you have nothing to be ashamed about. i'd be surprised if she mentioned this to anyone in work.

i'd mention nothing to her. it could cause problems and, in reality, it's not your problem. as for you leaving her, well, she made it perfectky clear that she didn't want you around. fair play for being enough of a gent to be concerned, but you did the right thing in going. she sounds like a lot of work to be around.

Explosive_Cornflake

You'll come out of this cleanly, I wouldn't worry about that. She was with another guy you work with, so she's going to sound like the office slut. If that's not what you are worried about, and you want something to happen, I think you'd be best off leaving it until the end of the week, and talk to her whilst you are both sober, but I reckon you'll only end up getting hurt by this girl.

Ruu_Old

Just leave her be and move on is the best thing OP, she definitely not worth wasting your time on.

Trinity

Jaysus i think i know that girl :rolleyes:

listen you did absolutely nothing wrong. you were an absolute gentleman.

i had a friend who was gorgeous but she was a terrible drunk - jekyl and hyde (sp?)

trust me if she even remembers, she is more worried about this then you are. SHe probably woke up this mornin with that cringey feeling 'oh f**k what did i do'.

i amagine she is prob also more worried about monday morning than you are.

just keep it civil in work, say nothing about the incident. IF she approaches you about it just politely tell her although you felt her behavoiur was very hurtful and highly unnecessary you would like to keep things friendly for work reasons and not to worry about it but then keep away from her apart from work related issue. I would knock socialising with her on the head.

these people nice as they are in the daylight hours are big trouble and you can rest assured that last night was not a once off and the staff will already be aware of her behaviour and if they are not now they soon will be.

dont worry about it lets know how you get on on monday.

Pigman II

Yep , say nothing to her on monday.

You also have no future with her so forget it.

daiixi

She was drunk, she made a mistake and realised it - hence the f#ck off statement. If someone is old enough to drink, they're old enough to look after themselves when drinking so don't feel bad for leaving her there.
On Monday I'd probably just approach her quietly and say something like "Hi, no hard feelings about Friday night? Friends, right?".
Don't make a big deal about it and if you want to try again, then go for it. She made one mistake, doesn't mean she's not worth it.

Sony

its not an s.p trinity no!

Daixi that sounds along the lines of what Id like to be said alright - thanks,I hope theres a moment on monday where something like that can be said without anyone else hearing about it.

I wouldnt hold it against her either and think Im well able to just forget about it myself PROVIDING SHE CAN without changing anything between us or even distancing herself from me due to her being embarrassed(I wouldnt like this to happen at all)

Trinity

daiixi wrote:

She was drunk, she made a mistake and realised it - hence the f#ck off statement. If someone is old enough to drink, they're old enough to look after themselves when drinking so don't feel bad for leaving her there.
On Monday I'd probably just approach her quietly and say something like "Hi, no hard feelings about Friday night? Friends, right?".
Don't make a big deal about it and if you want to try again, then go for it. She made one mistake, doesn't mean she's not worth it.

Personally when i make a mistake and realise i have made a fool of someone the words i'd be inclined to use are 'sorry!!' not fcuk off (twice) lol

Magic Pips

dude, use her for whatever you want. are you trying to tell us or yourself that this one mistake (being real drunk, scorin someone else and telling you to **** off - i count 3) doesnt put you off her?

Whatever you decide, do so with your eyes open.

Darragh29

Trinity1 wrote:

Personally when i make a mistake and realise i have made a fool of someone the words i'd be inclined to use are 'sorry!!' not fcuk off (twice) lol

Yeah totally agree. I don't know anyone who would snog someone and then that person goes to the jacks, she wanders across the room and snogs someone else!?!?!?! Says a lot about her TBH, sounds like she is seriously immature and also cannot handle her drink. You seem to have a bit of a thing for her which is ever so slightly clouding your judgement of her me thinks... Seriously "mortow" on Monday for her though!

Sony

yeah I dont know why she made it worse for herself by telling me to fcuk off - she DID say sorry before that but Im sure DAIXI is right in that she just felt totally embarrassed which was furthered by me stopping her from kissing me to "make everything better!" . plus she was hammered and was sorta tryna make out I did something wrong in a desperate attempt to turn things around....thing is I know theres absolutely nothing I said or did that she couldve held against me

Sony

Darragh29 wrote:

Yeah totally agree. I don't know anyone who would snog someone and then that person goes to the jacks, she wanders across the room and snogs someone else!?!?!?! Says a lot about her TBH, sounds like she is seriously immature and also cannot handle her drink. You seem to have a bit of a thing for her which is ever so slightly clouding your judgement of her me thinks... Seriously "mortow" on Monday for her though!

Yeah youre right , Im under no illusions and know very well that I have a little thing for her EVEN after what she did - I just want to keep an open mind about her though. She fcuked up badly but I still wanna give her a chance to get to know me without makin a tit outta me again

Trinity

Sony wrote:

its not an s.p trinity no!

Daixi that sounds along the lines of what Id like to be said alright - thanks,I hope theres a moment on monday where something like that can be said without anyone else hearing about it.

I wouldnt hold it against her either and think Im well able to just forget about it myself PROVIDING SHE CAN without changing anything between us or even distancing herself from me due to her being embarrassed(I wouldnt like this to happen at all)

SO i spelt it right - yay!

sony it sounds like you like her a little bit more than you let on!

i like her (no doubt about it) and she flirts with me (even though she flirts with everybody else!!)

Of course you can forget the incident - you're smitten!!

whatever you decide to do just be careful ok. and if another incident like this occurs then you just gotta accept that that is the way she is, it wasnt a one off and ask yourself can you live like that if you decide to persue it.

Or can you hold your piss in all night for fear she might have fecked off withsomeone else when you get back from the toilet.

but by all means give her another chance. Drink is a fantastic excuse for the most ****ed up behaviour and people just seem to accept it.

Ruu_Old

daiixi wrote:

She was drunk, she made a mistake and realised it - hence the f#ck off statement. If someone is old enough to drink, they're old enough to look after themselves when drinking so don't feel bad for leaving her there.
On Monday I'd probably just approach her quietly and say something like "Hi, no hard feelings about Friday night? Friends, right?".
Don't make a big deal about it and if you want to try again, then go for it. She made one mistake, doesn't mean she's not worth it.

Why should the OP go over and try to make up? Its the other way around tbh. Just go about your normal routine when you get back to work.

Sony

I know im not obliged to say anything to her on monday but I would prefer it if we DID clear the air - I said before that I have the feeling she'll be too shy and embarrassed to say anything about it so It might be best if I say something myself....

Im not smitten by her by the way - I like her, that much is true but it doesnt go much further than that

fuzzywiggle

You have nothing to feel bad about. She was in the wrong. She will probably just be so embarrassesed on Monday. Don't ignore her, just be like ''hi..how's things'', and leave it at that. Don't make the situation any worse.

Magic Pips

fuzzywiggle wrote:

You have nothing to feel bad about. She was in the wrong. She will probably just be so embarrassesed on Monday. Don't ignore her, just be like ''hi..how's things'', and leave it at that. Don't make the situation any worse.

i agree... dont say anything... be blasé about it if anything...

we all want what we cant have!:p

daiixi

Ruu wrote:

Why should the OP go over and try to make up? Its the other way around tbh. Just go about your normal routine when you get back to work.

Why? Because he likes her, wants to be her friend and doesn't want an awkward work situation to form. I don't see the problem with him taking control of a potentially uncomfortable future.

Noone is denying that she messed up but if she was as smashed as the OP says she was, I very much doubt she had a clue what she was doing and is kicking herself today. In the grand scheme of things what she did was immature and stupid but not the great crime that everyone is set to make it.

Marksie

its lucky this happened now rather than farher down the line as it were. Which would have definitely been awkward.

If anything it is said, juts say it "no big deal" and gently and quietly let her slip from your thoughts.
By all means, treat herwith civility as a work colleague, but leave it at that.

It is unlikely that her behaviour will change in the next few weeks.

Black Swan

Unfortunately, your first personal encounter was a bummer. You are under no obligation to her, but your interest in clearing the air is noble. After all, you have to work together and are new to the organisation. Perhaps something like, "Hi. Sad about the way things turned out. Hope we can still work together in a friendly spirit...?" Then I would avoid her when she drinks and just keep a collaborative work arrangement, no more.

Ruu_Old

daiixi wrote:

Why? Because he likes her, wants to be her friend and doesn't want an awkward work situation to form. I don't see the problem with him taking control of a potentially uncomfortable future.

Noone is denying that she messed up but if she was as smashed as the OP says she was, I very much doubt she had a clue what she was doing and is kicking herself today. In the grand scheme of things what she did was immature and stupid but not the great crime that everyone is set to make it.

Regardless of how smashed she was, I reckon its up to her to clear the air as the mistake was made by her. Just my opinion. Best of luck OP, hope it works out for you.

R0C0

Well he did mention that she was shy so me thinks OP should bring it up Monday, don't make a big deal about it, and in a way I suppose, try to sympathise.. alcohol can make people do some very very stupid things!!

But on the bright side at least she only told him to "fcuk off"... it would be far more inappropriate if she told him to "f u c k off!!"

the_syco

Well, when Monday comes, and she says anything, you can just say that you snogged her, went to the jacks, came back, saw her snogging every fella in the room, and when you went to leave, she went bunny-boiler on your ass.

ircoha

OP, u say
1 She was drunk, I agree
2 she made a mistake: I agree
3 and realised it: crap, she just keep digging the hole.

My advice is to say SFA about it as u have no idea how the conversation will go, neither do u want to be seem whispering in private etc.

I would be bright and cheerful and try and greet her in public as normal

My father in law is from Cavan and his expression is
Say nothing till you hear more.

In passing you should note my comments else where on this site re "in-house incest", you may find them instructive.

Laslo

She's a bad drunk, seems like a bit of a floosey and she certainly doesn't strike me as being girlfriend material... far from it. She's trouble so don't try to persue a relationship with her. The chances for getting hurt are fairly good. Just ignore her on Monday. The ball's in her court. If she says sorry then accept her apology. If YOU apologise to HER then you're going to look like a total chump.

Chucky the tree

just pretend it never happened and go treat her like you did on friday last week in work. If she can remember it, she wont want it to be brought up, even if its just to clear the air.

She's probaly really worried about meting you because she thinks you will bring it up/tell her people in work. So i wouldnt mention it at all. She will feel much better, if she wants to bring it up she can

gamer

basic advice ,dont kiss fellow office workers unless they are sober,100percent, can you not find other single women to romance,other then your workmates,some women turn into slappers when drunk.DID you expect her to fall in love after 1 snog?Keep your romantic,life and work separate,unless a female is seriously interested in you ,theres at least a million single women out there,look around. A woman with class will not go out with someone they really like and get drunk on a date,ie if she really respected you she would stay sober.she.ll probbably have forgot whatever she said,when she wakes up.

magnum69

she's a playgirl so don't mind her! go on with your job and pretty soon she'll be leaving you off for your peace of mind...by that time, you'll be relieved!;)

Kell

Sony wrote:

I accepted the apology saying more a less this "look, you're locked ,you did something stupid and I accept your apology. We have to work together so I dont want this to mess anything up in anyway" -

You made a mountain of a mole hill. It would have been prudent to put on your jacket and leave as opposed to creating a scene. All she will think of when she see's you is "Theres that fúckin muppet who made a scene when we were out last". And she would be right. You barely know the girl and your getting all frumpy over a snog. Jeebus.

Sony wrote:

I would prefer it if we DID clear the air - I said before that I have the feeling she'll be too shy and embarrassed to say anything about it so It might be best if I say something myself....

Still making mountains of mole hills.

Sony wrote:

Im not smitten by her by the way - I like her, that much is true but it doesnt go much further than that

:rolleyes: Ya think?

K-

LegacyUser

U did nothing wrong. U were a complete gentleman.
Say nothing - like it never happened.

Whatever happens on a night out (especially due to drink !)
should not be brought into the work place.

But now U know what that girl is really like - 'in vino veritas' (as they say in Latin) - and to be avoided like the plague. Bad news.

And, stop fretting over a snog.
IBut isn't it a good job U didn't 'bash d gash' !!!
can happen so easily with a lorry load of drink taken.

And, btw, that job U have, isn't the only job in Oireland.

Sony

she came in this morning lookin totally mortified, I just said " alright ?! " ...straight away she looked me straight in the eye and whispered "sorry!!" followed later by " I cant remember what happened on friday night"!?! ....I knew by how she was acting all day that she DID in fact remember but I just said " Ah nothing much happened,it was a good laugh" and talked about all the other funny stuff that happened that night!

I couldnt help noticing how nervous she was everytime she talked to me (which she made an extra effort to do) today - I just carried on as normal and she seemed to appreciate that I didnt tell anyone or embarrass her further by bringin up what happened !:)

LundiMardi

so what's on the agenda now?

takola

Sony it was really nice of you to not throw it in her face! Alot of guys would have and If a girl had been treated like that by a guy I'd hate to see the consequences for him!! :rolleyes:

She was obviously very drunk and regrets it now. I'm sure she really does appreciate that you didn't drag it out!

Nice one!

tinkerbell

Hey sony, that was nice of you to not mention it. A lot of people would've and mortified her in front of everyone, but you didn't. What she did was wrong, but you did the right thing in not throwing it in her face.

Tar.Aldarion

Good man Sony, decent chap.

Sony

Nice one;)

I suppose this weeks agenda for me is - pints after work on Wednesday and Friday but chatting (or trying to chat) up women OUTSIDE my new work circle of friends!

I shouldve done this in the first place but it doesnt seem like theres any harm done at all now so no regrets!!

cheers for all the posts - even the one calling me a muppet!:D

LegacyUser

Hey Muppet ........

U handled that real well.

We are proud of U !

cheeky_guy

Lol well he was hardly going to go bringing the whole thing up again and then have it come out that she kissed him and 2 minutes later was kissing some other bloke. Who'd be more embarrassed??

Moojuice

Sony wrote:

she came in this morning lookin totally mortified, I just said " alright ?! " ...straight away she looked me straight in the eye and whispered "sorry!!" followed later by " I cant remember what happened on friday night"!?! ....I knew by how she was acting all day that she DID in fact remember but I just said " Ah nothing much happened,it was a good laugh" and talked about all the other funny stuff that happened that night!

I couldnt help noticing how nervous she was everytime she talked to me (which she made an extra effort to do) today - I just carried on as normal and she seemed to appreciate that I didnt tell anyone or embarrass her further by bringin up what happened !:)

Good call. I know people like that and have been in messy situations and they are mortified when the see me the next day ( I dont drink so I remeber everything). I dont hold it against them once they say sorry (or even if they dont). You made a good decision, now she knows you can be trusted and are a decent guy. Best way to handle it.

The Freeman

well played sony


now stay from women that do that sh!t in the near future(they are just head fooks with issues of their own to sort out and you shouldn't have to be dragged along)

Zulu

Trinity1 wrote:

Jaysus i think i know that girl :rolleyes:

I'm pretty sure I do too. Nice girl... ...except when she fu(king someone around!

I would knock socialising with her on the head.

This is VERY good advice - seen as how you fancy her. The next time your out, she'll be with you again and you'll be chuffed. Then you'll be with her again. Then she'll be "drunk" and with someone else. Then she'll be all apologetic... ...and so the mindfu(k will begin. Walk away now.

Kell

Sony wrote:

....I knew by how she was acting all day that she DID in fact remember but she seemed to appreciate that I didnt tell anyone or embarrass her further by bringin up what happened

And just what makes you think you have a direct line to her thought processes? You knew and she seemed seem like disparate ideas.

Next time she comes onto you, go along with it and see if she remembers

K-

chamlis

"Don't sh!t where you eat", as it goes.
I've done the whole work colleague thing, man, and it took awhile for me to learn my lessons. It's a trap; everything seems fine after the incident, then things go back to normal, then something happens between you again, you feel great ("wow this is great!"), then she does something bad while drunk again, cycle continues.
Now, this has happened to me several times with different women, be it work or college (the same principle). Like I said, it took me awhile to learn my lessons simply because the "this is great!" feeling overpowers your common sense. You know you should know better, but, but, but, what if she REALLY likes me????

Regardless, you seem to have your head secured on your shoulders and handled the situation on Monday well. Just walk away from her. That was one of the hardest things I ever did. I guess it was like an addiction of some sort.
Good luck.