Fight Threatening to Spoil Debs

Peyton Manning

Hey, just wondering if you could all spare some advice for me here.

Basically, me and my ex-best friend cant stand each other. Ive never hated someone with such a passion in my life. He's done a lot of scummy stuff recently, not just to me, but to friends as well. The thing is, most of them always run back and suck up to him. Well, last weekend, he was out with some of my friends (his friends too). Theres one chap who was out with him, Pauraic, and he invited a girl called Susan to his debs and she was there too. Now everyone knows that Pauraic is absolutely crazy about Susan, except Susan doesnt know. Now this scumbag of a 'friend' knew this, and while Pauraic and Susan were dancing, this w@nker comes over, starts feeling her up and then takes her outside and hooks up with her. Pauraic was fierce upset, so the next day me and a friend of mine started texting him telling him not to let the other guy away with it and that its not the first time he did it. But what does Pauraic do? He goes back and tells the scumbag what we said about him.

Now last night, he texted me sayin 'Where do you get off telling others who they can and cant be friends with?'. I said that 'Everything I said, I stand by it. Dont forget, Ive witnessed first hand how much of a selfish pr!ck you can be - I was in school with ya for six years. Just a shame it took that long for me to figure it out'. So basically, we went back and forth slaggin each other until I got sick of it, and said 'Look, save anything you have to say and say it to my face at the debs. We'll see how much of a man you are then..' and he texted back 'No problem'. Theres lads goin who will jump in for him - I know this is a guarantee - but I have plenty to jump in for me. 1 on 1, I could take him easily. If everyone else gets involved, theres tougher lads on my side who ya just dont want to mess with (including a boxer and a black belt lol).

Ive been talkin about it with other friends, and the general feeling is that I shouldnt start anything unless he starts first. So what do I do? Do I ignore him, and let him think that Im scared and thus, avoid a potential brawl on the night, or do I wait until the end of the night to sort things out, or do I do nothing unless he starts something?

Just so you know, this isnt a 'Im macho, I could kill him' post. This is a genuine plead for reasonable advice. Cheers folks.

Sangre

Eh...ignore him.

Do you really want to ruin the night out for a lot of people? Which is exactly what a fight will do. People will jump in or take sides. Dates will be abandoned etc.,

Trinity

Put your ego to one side and say nothing 'that night'.

if he says anything to you just say why ruin the night for everyone else. obvoiusly if he starts you have to defend yourself but dont let your name go down as the dick that ruined the debs for everyone by starting rows

spurious

The debs is one of your first nights out as an adult.
Start as you mean to go on.

Ruu_Old

Don't bother with him, enjoy the night and let others do the same.

Sangre

Sangre wrote:

Eh...ignore him.

Do you really want to ruin the night out for a lot of people? Which is exactly what a fight will do. People will jump in or take sides. Dates will be abandoned etc.,

exactly. don't ruin a night out for everyone with silly boy-fights. get over it. find another way to deal with it.

Sangre

Also if you think ignoring his insults makes you look like a coward, you have a lot of growing up to do.

Peyton Manning

I know it wont make me FEEL like a coward, but keep in mind, the majority of people (not including myself) will be p!ssed drunk. But the fact that I said 'say what ya have to say to me at the debs' might make him accuse me of being all talk.

Sangre

so?

Laslo

Grow up would be my advice to you and your friend.

Rb

Ignore him. If he confronts you, be the bigger man and just walk away.
If he attacks you, by all means defend yourself but try and not have it turn into a full blown scrap, you'll ruin everyones night.

Faith

Jesus, how old are you? Twelve? Ignore him, of course. Only idiots start fights. If anything breaks out, you'll be responsible for ruining the night of how many others?

You're a big boy now, learn to walk away. It makes you the bigger person.

MotherGoose

Archimedes wrote:

Hey, just wondering if you could all spare some advice for me here.

Basically, me and my ex-best friend cant stand each other. Ive never hated someone with such a passion in my life. He's done a lot of scummy stuff recently, not just to me, but to friends as well. The thing is, most of them always run back and suck up to him. Well, last weekend, he was out with some of my friends (his friends too). Theres one chap who was out with him, Pauraic, and he invited a girl called Susan to his debs and she was there too. Now everyone knows that Pauraic is absolutely crazy about Susan, except Susan doesnt know. Now this scumbag of a 'friend' knew this, and while Pauraic and Susan were dancing, this w@nker comes over, starts feeling her up and then takes her outside and hooks up with her. Pauraic was fierce upset, so the next day me and a friend of mine started texting him telling him not to let the other guy away with it and that its not the first time he did it. But what does Pauraic do? He goes back and tells the scumbag what we said about him.

Now last night, he texted me sayin 'Where do you get off telling others who they can and cant be friends with?'. I said that 'Everything I said, I stand by it. Dont forget, Ive witnessed first hand how much of a selfish pr!ck you can be - I was in school with ya for six years. Just a shame it took that long for me to figure it out'. So basically, we went back and forth slaggin each other until I got sick of it, and said 'Look, save anything you have to say and say it to my face at the debs. We'll see how much of a man you are then..' and he texted back 'No problem'. Theres lads goin who will jump in for him - I know this is a guarantee - but I have plenty to jump in for me. 1 on 1, I could take him easily. If everyone else gets involved, theres tougher lads on my side who ya just dont want to mess with (including a boxer and a black belt lol).

Ive been talkin about it with other friends, and the general feeling is that I shouldnt start anything unless he starts first. So what do I do? Do I ignore him, and let him think that Im scared and thus, avoid a potential brawl on the night, or do I wait until the end of the night to sort things out, or do I do nothing unless he starts something?

Just so you know, this isnt a 'Im macho, I could kill him' post. This is a genuine plead for reasonable advice. Cheers folks.

I think you have said your peace to him and you should just leave it at that. The debs is not the place you should be fighting, you will not only ruin your own night but probably everyone else who turns up and more then likely you will get kicked out as well. I know that this scumbag is probably going to try and wind you up that night, but be the bigger man ignore him, dont rise to it as thats exactly what he wants you do. This reminds me so much of my teen years, always in fights every other weekend, some you win and some you lose, but i look back and think i was a fool and should just larn to walk away, which is what i always do now. There will be times when you jsut want to thump him, but believe me you will prob learn to regret it.

If its that BIG of deal to fight him, then arrange it after the debs. If i was you i would just try make peace and tell him that you dont want to fight him, but you no longer consider him a friend blah, blah.

Nevyn

Ignore him but if he starts to get confrontational have a word with the bouncers that are there. Debs tend to have staff on hand watching.

challengemaster

you've got some growing up to do mate. the whole "other people might think im <whatever>" thing wont do you any favours in life and will only force you into things you dont want to do. ignore him. only fools use violance as a way of fixing a problem.

Black Swan

No one wins in things such as these, and other innocent, fun loving people may have their night ruined. Rise above the pettiness of one-up-man-ship and be a man, even if the others are still children in their heads. Stand tall and walk away. If the others cannot mature and act civilised, let the bouncers handle them. You will only be less a man if you act a kid.

Avns1s

OP a bit of maturity wouldn't be wasted on you. Grow up!

ircoha

Its exactly this sort of bull that got the late Brian Murphy murdered.

Peyton Manning

^Oh shut the f*ck up, Im hardly gonna murder the ****er now am I?

Trinity

No but he may murder you!

One punch to the head can kill someone

you both have people to 'jump' in. so what 8 guys either kick the head off you or him?

you think someone dancing on your head aint gonna do some damage??

A neighbour just got out after doing 10 years for manslaughter. He punched the guy once, he landed on the corner of the footpath and died.

You asked for opinions, you got them. You dont have to like them but you should have respect for other members of this forum who are trying to help you.

spurious

The majority of answers here have advised much the same thing.
If you do not want to take that advice, that's your prerogative.

Eventually there is a time for us all to decide to behave in an adult fashion - this may not be yours.

Chucky the tree

i never knew they had Debs for people leaving junior school.

Trinity

At that age i think its more about saving face.

My boyfriend at that age needed to prove himself so much he got himself stabbed in the head and got me slashed across the legs with a big mother ****ing sword trying to help him. I'm tiny and very quiet but what else can you do when your boyfriend is being attacked. He started it he just didnt expect your man to go home and get his big sword.

think it was only when he pissed himself with the prospect of getting himself and his girlfriend killed that he eventually copped on.

We were lucky. A lot aren't.

Mick L

Archimedes wrote:

^Oh shut the f*ck up, Im hardly gonna murder the ****er now am I?

Archimedes, there's 2 ways this can go down, both depending on how you handle the situation.

1. You let this guy get to you and your night is spent worrying about what he'll do, what I should do etc....

2. You rise above it and ignore him. You enjoy the night with your date safe in the knowledge that if anything does happen that you have friends there that will back you up and if nothing happens that you have taken a step toward being a responsible adult and not let some a$$hole ruin your night and that of all your friends. It's likely that this is a situation that may occur more often as you get older so get used to dealing with it now and get into a good habit. Take the higher ground, it may not feel as good at the time but it will feel a hell of a lot better the day after when the hangover clears.

Chinafoot

Archimedes wrote:

So basically, we went back and forth slaggin each other until I got sick of it, and said 'Look, save anything you have to say and say it to my face at the debs. We'll see how much of a man you are then..' and he texted back 'No problem'.

1: Next time you get "sick of it" tell the person to fúck off instead of setting up a confrontation at a big event.

2: Stay away from him on the night. You're clearly both very immature and you should just avoid each other. If other people are going to try and get involved then tell them to mind their own business.

InFront

Probably an immature suggestion on my part, but why dont you fight him before the debs then?
I dont see the point of ruining everyones night if this fight is inevitable. Settle it before the night instead of making a show of yourselves and possibly cutting the night short for your classmates - because that is how you'll be remembered.

GretchenWieners

I know where you're coming from. You'll probably hear a bit of pre-debs bitching I'm sure. Apparently some guy is going to "get me" at mine too but to be honest I just see him as the loser who I barely knew in school who can't get a proper date to his debs and I'm more interested in enjoying my night he has barely come into my head! Guarantee you he'll do nothing especially if you just keep away from him.

If he starts it, everybody will already know I'm sure of his antics anyway. You're the bigger person either way. And I know what you mean about people don't like him but still lick up to him, same situation as my former best friend. It's secondary school CRAP! Think of it this way: It'll be you last night ever of having to face all this drama so keep the head down and focus on enjoying yourself.

daveyjoe

I agree with the general sentiment of most people on this thread.
but...
Why the hell did you say..

Archimedes wrote:

'Look, save anything you have to say and say it to my face at the debs. We'll see how much of a man you are then..'

by saying this it means that you started it, why did you choose the debs out of interest? Of all the stupid times to choose.

All this stuff about people 'hopping on' is dangerous and you somebody could get seriously injured.

If you have some innate need to fight him then do it before the debs and do it one on one, I'm not encouraging it but it's better than ruining everyone's night and possibly causing some serious injuries from everybody 'hopping on'.

Sangre

Trinity1 wrote:

No but he may murder you!

One punch to the head can kill someone

you both have people to 'jump' in. so what 8 guys either kick the head off you or him?

you think someone dancing on your head aint gonna do some damage??

A neighbour just got out after doing 10 years for manslaughter. He punched the guy once, he landed on the corner of the footpath and died.

You asked for opinions, you got them. You dont have to like them but you should have respect for other members of this forum who are trying to help you.

Yeah, I'm sure your neighbour got 10 years for that.

Also InFront, no fight is inevitable.

Miss Fluff

What a preposterous way of behaving. Why would anyone choose to incite violence in this way? Sending such a provocative text probably wasn't one of your brightest moments :rolleyes: but it's up to you what happens now. DON'T get involved in a fight and if something does start, get the bouncers on the case right away like someone mentioned earlier.

Magic Pips

You debs, its your 'signing off' from school so to speak. After this night you won't have much/if anything to do with a LOT of your class mates. Do all you can to avoid confrontation- he mouths off to you, just smile...

Don't let him get to you, as for the guys that go back to him, they'll eventually find out, when he's riding their wives or something in the future! :eek:

Scraggs

Archimedes wrote:

^Oh shut the f*ck up, Im hardly gonna murder the ****er now am I?

You came here looking for advice so perhaps lay off the abuse ...everyone who has posted here is only trying to help! That kind of attitude really shows your level of maturity.

Don't ruin yours and everyones night. Walk away. You will be seen as the better man. It will be the last time you'll see a lot of people and is that really the lasting memory you want to leave behind as the tosser fighting and ruining everyones craic? You not let down your classmates and your school but your letting down yourself. You might have to go back to the school to get references/referees etc. and you write your own reference by your behavior if ya get me.

If the other guy 'starts on you', ignore him, don't lash out. Take the high road. You'll get much more respect for it. Also as it has been mentioned tell security if you think the situation is going to get out of control.


Violence is not the answer.
Have a good night and don't drink too much:)

LegacyUser

Just try and ignore him for most of the night, i know ur totally in the right but noone will care after abig punchup at the debs.. U'll be just as guilty man, the way i see it is the debs is way more important to the girl. Who ever u bring will get really pissed off with u and so will all her friends.

I gurantee u wont see half those people u were friends with in school.. The best friends i have now are people i met in college. who cares what he says to u just ignore him.

InFront

Sangre wrote:

Also InFront, no fight is inevitable.

Yeah, tell that to my ex-goldfish.

This one isnt inevitable, but it sounds pretty likely and the debs is a pretty bad time to settle something like this. It'll just make you look like a jerk in front of your class and teachers.

event

ok, some of the abuse the OP is getting is unneeded.

he is probably 16 or 17. thats what boys are like at that age

maybe you were different, weren't you great

OP, the best thing to do is ignore him, just blank him all night and dont speak to him at all. Dont give into peer pressure, i know you will lose face and its hard but in 2/3 months you'll forget he even existed

one thing im asking, if pauric was dancin with susan, did yer man feel her up as they were dancing?
what sort of girl is she is she was dancing with a guy, some other lad comes over and feels her up so she goes off with him??

or did i read that wrong

mc+mb131004

Archimedes grow up cop on a get a life ya looser

Gordon

mc+mb131004 wrote:

Archimedes grow up cop on a get a life ya looser

Banned