Postpone Wedding?

King of Kings

half-a-sham wrote:

.

half-a-sham wrote:

I never left him in any doubt as to how abhorrent this type of behaviour is to me, and that I would never want to be with a man who would do this. I'm not a Mary Whitehouse wannabe,

The King states that you are Mary Whitehouse.
This is not to imply that that's wrong in anyway..but

His absolute lack of "laddism" is one of the reasons I was attracted to him in the first place. We've been together 6 years and he is the one who female friends ask to make sure their fiances don't end up on strip clubs on their stag nights.

maybe he just got pissed and was "peer pressured" into it.

Don't look to deep into it.
You may ruin all the good years for one 10mins acting out of charactar

LegacyUser

What's this ? The Legion Of Mary or what ?

And, btw, I agree with everything Miss Fluff says.

So ...

Do U have a decent man or don't U ?
Decent men don't grow on trees, don't U know.
(I didn't say - 'a perfect man').

I have been in a few (cough !) tight situations myself
from time to time. But it was a good experience of
the world and life and I learned from it.

So ... he went to a club ... he was drunk ...
he saw a tit ... and then he left ... and woke
up the next day with a sore head. The poor guy
not knowing what to say to U - given your
views.

I hope he never has to go to a beach with U.
God forbid that another girl's tit would pop out
and he'd catch a glimpse of it ! I wonder would
he be able to cope with that do U think or would
he have to run behind the nearest rocks for
'the hand shandy' ?

Sorry ... but if U were my girl, I think I would
be the one to consider the postponing ...
With respect, I think U need to grow up a bit.

Trinity

marksuttonie wrote:

I am going to assume this is kosher, but i am beginning to wonder.

If you feel like that, then you shouldn't go ahead with the wedding, ultimately you are going to make his, and your own life miserable. I dont believe that the stag can be the whole issue and why bring the S+M into it???. You suddenly can't stand to be touched?.. he deserves better than that.

I was a bit weary about this post from the beginning tbh.

But anyway!

OP dont depend on a group of strangers to decide your future.

We certainly cant tell you whether or not to marry this man. We've given you our opinions and at first glance the majority of posters appear to feel you are over-reacting (despite your past which he is not responsible for nor should have to spend the rest of his life say what oh 50 years? walking on egg shells).

He is a grown man, and by the sounds of it a good one.

He went to therapy with you, discussed your problems and agreed not to do anything that would upset you. You said you discussed both your boundaries but it sounds like most of this relationship is about you. You say you made it clear these 'types' of behaviours were abhorrent to you and you wouldnt want to be with a man would do this - maybe he just loved you so much he agreed. Hes hardly a pervert now, this is quite mild really!

He messed up, so what?

I doubt its possible this man can do anymore for you really.

The Sweeper

Hey OP

You're not alone.

I know a lot - really a lot of women who have problems with their men visiting a strip club. And you're not the only story I've heard of a woman coming pretty damn close to calling off their wedding over a stag night lap dance.

Lap dancing clubs can be a bit like secret internet porn fetishes. Some women discover the secret and feel extremely upset about the whole thing. Others don't care a damn about it.

The 'not wanting to be touched sexually', the sense of betrayal, the disgust - none of these are unusual reactions to be honest, not if you hate strip clubs.

Most of the todger-wielding bleeding heart liberals out there calling you Mary Whitehouse and not giving you an inch (entendre notwithstanding) may not be in relationships themselves.

Here's the short guide:

Reasons your missus may not like strip clubs

1. Strip clubs are full of women who make a career out of being better looking than your girlfriend.
2. The women in strip clubs are paid to come on to you and prick tease you to get money out of you, so you're going somewhere where a stunner is definitely going to come onto you.
3. Strip clubs are expensive. Would I like my man to spend a large sum of money on silk lingerie and flowers for me, or give that money to a woman who will gyrate on his groin and wave her breasts in his face? Oooo decisions...
4. A strip club is generic boobs. A private dance means you've specifically selected a set of boobs for your own entertainment. This can often be seen as an additional offense.
5. Strip clubs, if you're not secure in yourself, can really feel like your man's gone to find something better than he can get at home.
6. The closest thing women have to a strip club is usually something like the Chippendales, so generally just laughable. As a result, men aren't usually on the receiving end of what it's like to have your partner go and seek sexual gratification from another source and then justify it as acceptable because it's been paid for, and sure, it's just a bit of a laugh.
7. Lap dancers are interactive porn. If you've hang ups about porn, you'll have hang ups about lap dancers.

A bride, in preparation for her wedding, is more self-conscious about the way she looks then possibly at any other time in her life. If she's not supremely confident, having her husband-to-be opt for a private dance from a stripper is a double whammy that close to a wedding. For many women, for their man to get a lapdance feels like he's cheating, straight up. For him to do it before she marries him can be a total head wreck.

Additionally, the 'call off the wedding' reaction really isn't uncommon - look at it from the OP's point of view. She's majorly shaken by her boyo paying for private titillation (oh the puns), from another woman, just at the time when her relationship with him is under the sort of magnifying glass that you can only put it under by inviting your family and closest friends to a big day out.

What the OP has to do now is a lot of soul searching. She's got to figure out how she feels about herself, what it is that's really upset her about the lapdancing, how she really feels about her potential life-partner and whether or not she can get past all this, marry him on the day and not, as some other poster said, throw it in his face every time they fight in the future.

She's really not a granny-knickered uptight feminist. She's just a woman who's feeling shat on because the man who she thought was the only one for her is up for doing things she didn't expect him to.

leeroybrown

OP you really need to discuss this properly with your husband-to-be. From what I've read in this thread I get the impression the two of you haven't had a meaningful discussion of it. If you can't manage that then...

triona1

kjt wrote:

Give him a break, if you do go ahead and marry him it sounds like he's going to have no fun.

I think for his sake you shouldn't go ahead with it. Best of luck to him.

ill second that

Old_-_School

My fiancee is similiar to you. She said if I got a lapdance it'd be over. Therefore the only way I know I won't get a lapdance is to go somewhere where there's no lapdancing clubs and as a result I'm going to the Aran Islands on my stag. Problem solved.

LegacyUser

Actually we have discussed it, at length. He doesn't want to postpone the wedding as he thinks it would be ridiculous to put all our guests out. And cause expense to those who are travelling from abroad. I think it would be ridiculous to go ahead with a wedding to a man who I can not honestly commit to be with for the rest of my life.

I need time to deal with this, I can't just make what I'm feeling go away, though I wish I could. I do really want to marry him, but I don't want to do it when I'm unsure about the relationship.

He's claiming that I've never told him how I felt about this, though I did several times. It wasn't something I felt a need to make a big issue out of though, as I really believed he felt the same way. Now I'm left unsure of what other parts of him I've seen because I wanted to see, and I don't feel confident in my ability to commit to spending the rest of my life with him.

CathyMoran

I was absolutely petrified of getting married and used any excuse to hamper the preparation for it...in the end the wedding was postponed and it is one of the biggest regrets of my life...in the end of the day it was just nerves, spending the rest of your life with someone is scary, even if they are the most wonderful person alive (like my partner)...we are thankfully still together (as I have said before, I am totally and utterly in love with my partner, he is the sunshine in my day), BUT postponing the wedding took a lot out of both of us and I would not wish that on anyone.

Perhaps the OP is just having very bad pre wedding jitters?

tinkerbell

MAJD - you hit the nail on the head right there.

OP - you have every right to be upset about this. I know it was his stag do and all, but if he knew you didn't like it, he didn't have to get a lapdance. MAJD summed it all up perfectly on how some girls don't like the idea of lapdancing clubs.

Don't call off the wedding just yet, talk to him about it first, bash it all out in the open, and see how you feel then.

vorbis

the reasons that MAJD listed are more insecurities on the part of the woman.

1. She's not as attractive as a stripper, well I'm not a male model. How is this insecurity over looks the guy's problem?
2. he's blowing money on strippers and not buying me stuff. If he was going on a regualar basis, fair enough. To hold this opinion about his stag do is unbelievably selfish
3. Not to be crude but what he's getting off a stripper is only visual, how would that beat what he's getting at home?;)

By all means if she has insecurities about it, she should discuss them with her fiancee. However, her insecurities are just that, hers.

astrofool

In a marriage however, insecurities are something to be shared by both persons. While MAJD has summed up what goes through a womans mind quite well, it is also stating the obvious, and probably the very reason why Stag Party's go to strip clubs in the first place (one night doing something you would never ever have the chance to do again in theory).

imo, if you're thinking about postponing the wedding then it is either nerves and you're getting cold feet, in which case you shouldn't postpone, or you don't want to marry that man, in which case (after six years) you'll never want to. If you have known him for six years, then you should know him well enough that a night such as a stag shouldn't have any bearing on your future together within limits (i.e. he didn't sleep with someone else). Taking time and postponing will not solve anything, as you probably already know deep down what the answer is, if you don't, then you need to be grown up enough to talk to the guy, and work it out from there.

As a point of reference though, (and you've probably guessed from the reaction on the boards), to stop a wedding on the basis of a stag night will cast you as the crazy one opinion wise, so it really shouldn't be the basis of your reasoning.

SingingCherry

I don't understand how so many people can say, "Well, of course he lied because he knew you wouldn't like it!" That doesn't condone lying! Regardless of what he did, lying isn't the solution because your partner won't like what she is told. That's just being a sh!t.

I understand what you are saying, OP. While I personally wouldn't be bothered by a lapdance and a strip club, if my spouse did something he knew I was so offended by and against, I would feel the same way. The problem isn't what he did, but that he did it knowing how much you despise it. While you can't control him, he can be considerate of you and your feelings, and he wasn't...and then he lied about it. Bad combo.

I'm not sure what you should do - is this a dealbreaker for you? If so, and this will bug you until the day you two die, then you know what you should do. If not, then try to forgive and forget. Talk to him. He should know what you are thinking about why. This could put some perspective on the issue for the both of you.

Good luck.

LegacyUser

half-a-sham wrote:

Nobody knows how much I hate those clubs, I'm not even sure that I do hate them. I think guys who go to them are a bit sad but if we lived in a world where all these clubs were staffed by women who really enjoyed what they do, because a lot of women do, then it's their own perogative. And the guy who told me about this was a friend of the grooms who didn't know whether to be impressed or annoyed when he walked out of the club, and wanted a female opinion.

Why does it matter so much what it is that he did? He knew something he didn't really want to do would hurt me this much and he did it anyway. He says it meant nothing to him, and he didn't enjoy it anyway yet that was worth making me so unhappy? Just so he wouldn't look boring in front of his friends. Either he's pretty guttless and couldn't care less about my feelings or he actually really enjoyed it and wanted to go. Whichever it is, he's not the guy I thought he was and I'm not going to rush into marrying someone who I'm not sure of.

I totally agree with the op here. Lets take the Lap dance/Stip club out of the equation for a minute.
In any relationship there are boundries, some are different to others. In this case as you stated your fiance was well aware that his actions would hurt you but he still went ahead and did it!!! (hmmm do you really want to spend your life with someone with that attitude)
In my opion he obviously a)Didnt care b) if it didnt really matter that much, why did he bother doing it in the first place, if he knew that it would hurt you. I really think you need to do some serious talking here!

LegacyUser

If lapdancing clubs were the happy little la la land that general opinion made them out to be, alot less women would worry about it.

I know a bloke very well, (although I'm not proud of him), who paid for a private dance and got full sex for a little extra, oh and for an extra 100, she would have done it without a condom! - But hey its all fun and games... This was a well known establisment and I was very surprised considering I had seen representatives of this establishement deny vehemently on tv that this could ever be the case.

I also know a guy who worked for years in a lapdancing club and asked the same question on the above basis, he said that, yes, these things do happen, "at the dancers discretion". That was six years ago and all you have to do is look at the news today and watch that certain groups are afraid its still happening, and that its a gateway to an unlegislated sex industry.

So... knowing that above bloke is a slag, but not a lier, yeah, I wouldnt be too happy with my boyfriend going to lapdancing club.

But, if it was happy little la la land, where blokes just get a bit of gyration for their money, I'd be a little perplexed at why... but I'd be safe in the knowledge that it couldnt get out of hand, and that it was their way of having a laugh, even if I'd love to see his reaction if I did same.

Now, considering the OP.
What on earth is all this bull about, "well now wonder he lied considering your reaction".
Does the same apply to, well now wonder he didnt tell you he was having an affair you would have gone starkers..
twaddle.
She made something clear. It was a boundry in *their* relationship.
Ah,ah.. now we arent talking about you, or your personal view, or your fabulous throw your knickers to the wind relationship, we are talking about the OP, and her relationship, their boundaries.

If, as she said, it was laid out, as a do not go there boundary, then yeah, she has cause to wonder at least, why he let her down, and considering they are getting married, what with all the "for the rest of your life" sh**e, she's a right to be wondering.....

LegacyUser

SingingCherry wrote:

is this a dealbreaker for you?

I thought it was, but I don't want it to be. But I'm pretty upset and I'm sure I'd resent him if we got married now. I'd rather wait until I know that I forgive him.

Sleepy

Minesajackdaniels wrote:

[*]The closest thing women have to a strip club is usually something like the Chippendales, so generally just laughable. As a result, men aren't usually on the receiving end of what it's like to have your partner go and seek sexual gratification from another source and then justify it as acceptable because it's been paid for, and sure, it's just a bit of a laugh.

I used to think that until I met a guy who danced at ladies night in Stringfellows here in Dublin. The guy got solicited most nights he worked by hen nights and not as a joke. From my own personal experience of working as a night porter in a Galway hotel, the bride to be was far more likely to have a 'final fling' on her hen night than the men on their stags.

OP. You should bear one thing in mind: most men on a stag night consider it their duty as a friend of the stag to render him into an semi-comatose state with alcohol. Your husband to be's "choice" to disrespect your wishes was probably not a very coherant one.

LegacyUser

I don't understand how so many people can say, "Well, of course he lied because he knew you wouldn't like it!" That doesn't condone lying! Regardless of what he did, lying isn't the solution because your partner won't like what she is told. That's just being a sh!t.

i don't think the issue that people are pointing out here is the lie itself, but the fact the op seems so closed book on the subject that the BF felt he had no choice but to hide it,i would never force my opinions that strongly on a GF of mine that we couldn't even talk about it honestly like two adults,you've assumed the moral highground here and have cast him as doing something "wrong" but if in his eyes it's not some mortal sin then there's got to be some middle ground
sounds to me like you cornered him so much that he's given up on trying to give you his full side if the story,no doubt he was railroaded into this situation by his mates,

"Not in my relationship anyway."

...My god!! those words would have me sneaking out the bathroom window and home to me mammy in a flash!

Black Swan

I am completely devastated right now. I'm not sure if he is the man I want to be with anymore and I'm certainly in no fit state to marry him in the next 2 weeks. I don't know what to do?

If that's the way you feel, well, maybe you should postpone your wedding until this is sorted out? If not, you may be setting yourselves up for failure?

flamingo

oh come one, leave the poor girl alone! i can only imagine that the stress of the looming 'Big Day' would be enough to get to anybody, never mind all the extra issues involved here!

NortSoide wrote:

I hope he never has to go to a beach with U.
God forbid that another girl's tit would pop out
and he'd catch a glimpse of it ! I wonder would
he be able to cope with that do U think or would
he have to run behind the nearest rocks for
'the hand shandy' ?
QUOTE]

have you not read the rest of the posts or what???! - it's clearly nothing to do with her bloke seeing a couple of pairs of tits - there's much more at stake for her here that just that.

she clearly feels betrayed, and while most of the OP bashers on here seem unable to grasp this, she does have her reasons, which are undertandable if you look at it from her perspective. it's not like she's a shy over-naive teenage girl - she seems to have a fairly good attitude to sex, and having gone through therapy with her bf, it would appear that she is open about her experiences and their impact on her.

the fact remains that her bf seems to have completely disregarded her needs and wishes by not sticking up for himself on his stag. yeah we all know that this sort of stuff happens on stags the world over, but to the OP this is a very sensitive issue, and he acted in a completely insensitive and dismissive way, from her perspective. granted the OP is 'overreacting' but given her rape and her associations with the abusive side of the sex industry, it is understandable that she should feel betrayed when the man she loves and trusts appears to so easily disregard the hurt that he would cause her.

personally, were i to find out that my future husband for some bizarre reason engaged in, for example, hunting or warfare or hate crimes or animal testing or whatever - basically in anything to which i was vehemently opposed and on which he knew my views - i would equally have a hard time forgiving/forgetting it. and id imagine that these feelings could only be vastly magnified a couple of weeks before i was due to commit myself to this man forever! It'd make me reevaluate everything i thought i knew about him .... I would probably still love him, but i imagine it would be hard to put on a mask on my wedding day.

OP, i do feel for you. Talk to him - im sure he's feeling rotten for putting you through it all, but do bear in mind that this is the man you love and that if you set impossibly high standards for someone, they are bound to slip up sometime or another. Don't give up on the relationship just yet though - postpone the wedding if needs be, but don't cut off your nose to spite your face.

BeardyGit

Sleepy wrote:

....OP. You should bear one thing in mind: most men on a stag night consider it their duty as a friend of the stag to render him into an semi-comatose state with alcohol. Your husband to be's "choice" to disrespect your wishes was probably not a very coherant one.

Well said Sleepy.

But that doesn't change where you are right now OP, does it? You need to deal with your own trust issues here before trying to lay the blame at his feet. Just because the guy went against your wishes on a night out with his friends, and I honestly believe and can understand how upsetting the strip-club element may be, it doesn't mean you no longer know him and can't trust him. You need to realise that sometimes it's not as cut and dried as you'd like to think and that while good intentions are never enough unless backed by solid action, occasionally we'll trip along the way. Your role should be to help pick him up so the two of you can continue a life journey together, not kick him while he's down......

LegacyUser

Gil_Dub wrote:

Your role should be to help pick him up so the two of you can continue a life journey together, not kick him while he's down......

Why is he the one who's down? He's pretty upset sure, but nowhere near as much as I am and it was his actions which caused us both to feel this way. I'm pretty sure I'm the one who's down.

the_syco

half-a-sham wrote:

He's claiming that I've never told him how I felt about this, though I did several times.

Did you tell him, or hint it, as us men don't catch these hints at the best of times.

LegacyUser

the_syco wrote:

Did you tell him, or hint it, as us men don't catch these hints at the best of times.

God no, I TOLD him. I'm not shy about speaking my mind.

BeardyGit

half-a-sham wrote:

Why is he the one who's down? He's pretty upset sure, but nowhere near as much as I am and it was his actions which caused us both to feel this way. I'm pretty sure I'm the one who's down.

The difference is that you're the one who's making this a difficult situation for both of you to deal with. If your beau is half as considerate and loving as you say he is, you could safely assume he ended up in that place because he wasn't in control of what was happening. Now from me to you, that doesn't mean he wanted to be there, enjoyed it, would go again etc. I don't know the guy - Why would I defend him?

It wouldn't be my cup either - I've had to really resist the pressure and have actually fallen out with two friends over their incessant desire to end every 'drunken' night out in town with a visit to Lapel's (or however it's spelled). If it was my stag night, leading into my wedding where I'll want all my friends to be there and be happy so I could enjoy the day with my beatiful bride without any emotional overhead, and assuming I'd a rake of pints and the accompanying impaired judgement laying waste to my otherwise fine character, I might just give in - Or at least fail to protest enough to avoid being dragged in the door etc. Doesn't mean I want to be there. Also doesn't mean I can just walk out.

What you're dealing with is, I suspect, the fallout of something that was not only completely out of your control, but also not fully in his control. As a rape victim you should recognise this instantly. Furthermore, your own experiences and counselling should help you realise that either punishing or allowing others punish you for something that you couldn't control is never going to help you move to a point of resolution, with yourself and those around you. Don't criticise me for drawing the parallel here. I'm basing its use on your own representation of your fiance and a caring, compassionate, loving man - who's first failure here is losing control on a night where this is traditionally 'engineered' by his friends. His second failure of course is not telling the truth - But then again, I find it hard to see how he could without hurting you. Your digging has uncovered an unwelcome truth and while you could recognise his 'white lies' as an attempt to protect you from something he knew would hurt and upset you, you choose to use it against him as a means to justify judging him based on events over which he wasn't fully in control.

Then again......

[leery voice]
Maybe he was just asking for it.
[/leery voice]

gyppo

kjt wrote:

Give him a break, if you do go ahead and marry him it sounds like he's going to have no fun.

I think for his sake you shouldn't go ahead with it. Best of luck to him.

Couldn't agree more with this. If I was the person who was to marry the OP, I'd be having a lot of second thoughts at this stage.

The OP herself must be due for sainthood soon, as she has obviously never made a mistake in her life. Time for her to cop-on to herself. Nobody (not even herself) is 100% perfect, and everyone slips now and again. If the fact that her partner was persuaded to enter a strip joint whilst drunk is enough to make her think about calling off the wedding, then she is not mature enough to handle marraige in the first place, imo.

To the OP's partner, if you ever get to see this on time - a word of advice............ RUN:eek:

Jim10000

It seems that the hurt the OP feels is not so much because her fiancé went to a strip club, but because he went to one when he should have known how much that would hurt her.

He stepped over a boundary of what it was agreed in the past would constitute a betrayal, but I could understand how it might seem to him to be quite an arbitrary boundary. Strip clubs are undoubtedly awful places, but maybe he always thought they were awful like I think they are, where as the OP seems to hate the idea of him going to one much more than that.

I wonder if the issue of strip clubs, the sex trade and so on has been sort of connected for the OP to the horrible event in her past, and its by not respecting the seriousness of that connection that the fiancé has betrayed her.

Sometimes I think it's possible that even the most important things to us aren't fully grasped by our partners; I'm pretty sure that he wouldn't have gone to the club if he really knew how much pain it would cause.

I hope they can get this sorted by talking about it, quite a bit. Hopefully she finds that he's still the same guy he was before he briefly acted like a bit of a loser, but maybe at the same time she needs to reconsider her feelings for these kind of clubs, what they mean to her and what really constitutes a betrayal.

Sincerely, best of luck, hope it gets sorted.

susiesue

half-a-sham wrote:

He has come home drunk and gone to bed naked and gotten **** all over the sheets as he failed to wipe his arse.

.

The funniest thing I've read today

eth0_

Sigh. Get over yourself, really. The guy has stuck with you for six years and it sounds like you have him whipped. He was probably plastered drunk and what would his mates have thought if he'd thrown a strop like you and refused to go into the lapdancing club?

Seriously, it's not a big deal. As for your friends who have been abducted and sold into the sex trade (oh, so believable!) and your rape (you must be the most unfortunate person on boards!)...girls in well-known lapdancing clubs are working there because they want to, because they enjoy it and because they make a stack of cash. Often they're dancing to put themselves through college or fund a better life for themselves and their families. They're not all sluts who are out to ride your husband..


To be honest, I find this whole thread extremely ridiculous and i'm 99% sure it's a troll, as probably the majority of threads on this bloody forum are. If you're for real, I apologise, but as i'm pretty sure this is a troll....you're really sad

Beruthiel

half-a-sham wrote:

God no, I TOLD him. I'm not shy about speaking my mind.

Can you tell us what his response was when you reminded him of this?
Did he explain at all why he went against your wishes?

Gordon

I asked if people could be civil and respect the poster's views. eth0_, that post was not on. Banned for a week.

Magic Pips

Postpone the wedding. It is, from the sounds of things, the only thing you are sure you want.

But be aware that he may well not want to marry you again...

Sounds like you may have a few outstanding issues regarding your previous experiences, not something most any of us can understand - perhaps you should be talking to a more qualified professional.

Good luck

LegacyUser

Beruthiel wrote:

Can you tell us what his response was when you reminded him of this?
Did he explain at all why he went against your wishes?

He is maintaining that I never said any such thing, which is a lie. Tbh, he is at a point where he feels backed into a corner. I'm not sure what I'm going to do right now. I've agreed to think about it for a couple of days and he's agreed that if I still want to postpone after that we can.

Thanks for most of the replies, but I'd really like it if one of the mod's could lock this thread. If it's still here I'll keep coming back to it and I don't think that's the best thing for me to be doing for the next few days.

Thanks.

LegacyUser

eth0_ wrote:

Seriously, it's not a big deal. As for your friends who have been abducted and sold into the sex trade (oh, so believable!)

I'm not sure if you are being deliberatley obtuse here or not. These were women I have met post-abduction and "rescuing" while they were working to re-build their lives. According to UN estimates there are over 2 million women at present who have been abducted and sold to the sex industry.

Busterpuss

Can understand that you feel betrayed as you pointed out you do not like lap dancing clubs and he should have abided this. But having said this at the end of the day he is only human and humans mess up. So that said, if you love him enough, you will forgive him and move on.

Beruthiel

half-a-sham wrote:

I'm not sure if you are being deliberatley obtuse here or not. These were women I have met post-abduction and "rescuing" while they were working to re-build their lives. According to UN estimates there are over 2 million women at present who have been abducted and sold to the sex industry.

Prime Time covered this some time back, it does go on in ireland and it was a very sad programme to watch.
OP
I will close this thread as requested, if you wish it re-opened, send me a PM in confidence.
Best of luck.