What do i do now ?

LegacyUser

Going unreg for this as im a well known member here.

Right story is Me and my girlfriend broke up a few weeks ago, due to various reasons that im not going in to now.

But i got a phonecall from her last night telling me that she has had a misscarige ( 13 weeks and 5 days in ) It devestated me, I know i never got to hold the baby or find out if its a boy or a girl, but i knew deep down it was a girl. I was soo attached to it. Just being at the scans Gave me the most amazing feeling. I felt important, i felt like i was going to be someone, especially someone important to this child.

And now she is gone i dont know what to do. Im upset, but im not letting any emotion out. i fell like there is no emotion inside. I just feel empty....cold.

My best mate rang me last night. and i told him about it. And hes a great guy, always been there when i needed a shoulder....But i couldnt manage to talk to him, i just put on a brave face and laughed it off.

I cant talk to my mother about it. she has been through enough already without having to worry about me and my problems. She went through a nasty divorce, and had to bury her daughter ( my sister ) last xmas, she died of cancer aged 33 and had 2 kids ( this i still havent got over yet ) She also tried to kill herself twice last year because of all the pressure she went through. i only found this out last week.

I dont know what to do, im not feelin suicidal at all.i just cant let it out,and im affraid that if i bottle it all up something will happen. All ive managed so far is talking to a girl i hardly know on msn, but has been a amazing help ( she will read this and know who she is ) All i managed emotion wise was a single tear. ive tried to cry, ive tried to let it out, but i get nothing. And this worryies me, as im usually a emotional person, ya know the type that have a small cry at the end of a small film ( no im not gay )

Has any other fella here been through this ? did you feel like i do, was it worse ? Do i have worse to come ? if so how much worse ?

Im also worried about my ex too, She is in alot of pain and on painkillers that wont do anything for her, Shes a complete wreck atm. As expected as she was the one carrying the baby. I want to do something to help her but i dont know what. I cant see her as were in different countrys atm, shes over in ireland, and im not.

While i was on the phone to her last night i felt my feelings towards her comming back, but im too scared of that, as the last time i ended up getting my heart broken. She said to me last night that all her friends and family have been over to support her, and have all given her a hug, but it didnt help. Me and her always had a thing, that if we were having a bad day, or felt any way stressed that we would give each other a hug, and it would make everything okay. and it did. every single time.

i dont know what else to say now so ill stop.

Thanks for taking the time to read all this, and if you have any advice or whatever please feel free to post.

</moan?>

Victor

I think the important thing to do is to talk. Face to face tends to be a little better and let it all out.

There is support out there, this is specific to Ireland, but I'm sure if you caontact your local maternity hospital, they might be able to put you in contact with someone.

The Miscarriage Association of Ireland
http://www.coombe.ie/mai/
http://www.carmichaelcentre.ie/miscarriage-aoi/index.htm

Black Swan

Big Hug to you. Maybe this girl you met on msn will become a friend. In any case, she seems to be there to talk with now, so by all means do so.

Slutmonkey57b

You need to find someone to talk about all this to and not bottle it up - if your mother attempted suicide twice without you knowing about it, then clearly you have issues as a family talking about things. See a therapist.

no leaf clover

dude, head high, i know how you feel, from a can't feel the emotion point of view, been there, couldnt understand either, do you do any hobbies? i found that going out for a spin on the bike always helps me clear my head, maybe you should ring your x and just talk as it seems you and her could do with it, if ya wana talk, pm me, hope this stuff picks up for ya

Beruthiel

WhatDoIdonow wrote:

Thanks for taking the time to read all this, and if

You poor thing, you've been through a lot.
Would you consider going to see a grief councellor?
They will help you open up and get it all out.
Get your doctor to recommend one.