The death of a friend

tj-music.com

A very close friend of mine whom I knew since childhood had been diagnosed with cancer only a few months ago and passed away on July 31st.

Because it was all so quick there wasn´t much suffering and pain for him and that´s a relief and I thank God for small mercies.

But it left a void that is so difficult to close. I know it is way too early to even speak of closure but the very thought of not being around tomorrow or worse "what the **** do I care about tomorrow anyway" is wearing me down.

Sometimes it is difficult to focus on life when death is all around.

Just wanted to share my feelings

Ruu_Old

Sorry to hear about your friend, hopefully in time you will feel better or get over it but not forget. It is good that they didn't suffer, two of my friends suffered badly before passing away not that long ago, its very difficult to understand why this happened.

CathyMoran

Sorry for your loss. You will never forget them. I lost my best friend when we were 6 (her whole family died in a hotel fire) and I still sometimes think, well, she would have been doing this or that and sometimes I feel that I am living my life for her also. Do something good in your friends memory, that really helps in my experience. If I ever have kids I plan to call one after her and I would like to think that I have kept her memory alive.

hadook

Sorry to hear about your friend.

I lost my dad to cancer nearly 3 years ago and it took me a while to focus on life again. It was a gradual thing so I don't even have anything to suggest to help you. You'll heal at your own pace and hopefully soon you'll be able to remember your friend without the horrible pain of loosing him resurfacing.

projectmayhem

tj-music.com wrote:

A very close friend of mine whom I knew since childhood had been diagnosed with cancer only a few months ago and passed away on July 31st.

Because it was all so quick there wasn´t much suffering and pain for him and that´s a relief and I thank God for small mercies.

But it left a void that is so difficult to close. I know it is way too early to even speak of closure but the very thought of not being around tomorrow or worse "what the **** do I care about tomorrow anyway" is wearing me down.

Sometimes it is difficult to focus on life when death is all around.

Just wanted to share my feelings

something similar happened with me early in the year. the only thing you can do is what you're doing - share your feelings. i ruined a relationship by bottling everything in. took a break-up to make me wise up and get myself sorted, so i've spent months fixing the damage and moving on.

so make sure you air your feelings with friends, family or whoever... after that, all you can do is move on with your life. sure, there's a gap there... but your friend would want you to move on and live life to the max (as it were).

sorry to hear this happened, and good luck with the future. boards is here for a good rant anyway

metrovelvet

Because grief is bi product of love it is thereby an affirmation of life.

[I know it doesnt feel that way right now - but Im sure you get me]

Be good to yourself.

Black Swan

Sorry about your loss. We all have to deal with death of loved ones. Found a book that helped me once, which may or may not be helpful to you. On Death and Dying by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, M.D. In particular where she talks about the stages that people go through when confonted by death. You might ask your librarian if interested.

lau1247

heart and mind is a fragile thing..
Like all living creature..
Only time will heal it back..

So give it a little time..
soon enough you'll get back on your feet again

oulu

tj-music.com wrote:

A very close friend of mine whom I knew since childhood had been diagnosed with cancer only a few months ago and passed away on July 31st.

Because it was all so quick there wasn´t much suffering and pain for him and that´s a relief and I thank God for small mercies.

But it left a void that is so difficult to close. I know it is way too early to even speak of closure but the very thought of not being around tomorrow or worse "what the **** do I care about tomorrow anyway" is wearing me down.

Sometimes it is difficult to focus on life when death is all around.

Just wanted to share my feelings

I really feel sorry for you and hope you find a way to come to terms with the death,I think you never get over the death of someone you just learn to live with it in the best way you can, They say talking about the person is good and also talking to the person who died can be good for you, I remember hearing on the G Ryan show before about a daughter who died and the parents buried her moblie with her, When they rang her phone they would hear her voice,sad but their way of dealing with it, This thanks be to God business, that they went quick, sorry but I dont believe in God I used to but with the world getting more sad and more wars, how can there be a god, If there is a God then he is not doing a very good job is he, But sorry to hear about your friend,

AngryBadger

That's really harsh man, sorry to hear about your loss. I can't think of anything to contribute other than take each day as it comes, you'll never stop missing your friend, but as time goes by it'll hurt less and elss, and then one day you'll be able to laugh at the memories of your time with him, and it won't hurt so much.

Chin up mate.

Tar.Aldarion

Chin up, it is a terrible thing to happen, I know...

Don't bottle everything up..like I do.
You will just lose more friends.
Try to express yourself and let it all out.
Good luck man, it's the only thing I actually fear happenening and it is terible.
Hope you feel better soon.

Siun

Not sure how you feel about praying but when my best friend died 8 years ago I started to pray. Not for everyone I know but it really helped me. It's a very private thing & I use it to chat to her every few days or so. The only thing I can say with certainty is that is definitely gets easier as the years go by. I think it's so important to have some kind of faith. I wouldn't have been able to cope if I didn't think she was gone somewhere peaceful. People see praying & having faith as a very black & white thing but I don't. I pray to her when I miss her or when I see something that reminds me of her or if I'm having big or small problems. It took me a few years to get to where I could chat away about her without filling up with tears & feelings of guilt for not being a better friend but time is a great healer.
The other thing I will say is that you aren't the only one feeling bad I'm sure. If he has any brothers or sisters or other friends you could mention it to it would be a great help to you. I think that in times like you are having it must be more difficult as guys don't like to share that kind of stuff but maybe some girl you know could listen to how you feel about it..... that's what us girls are good at... listening!

Marksie

I lost my nephew suddenly two years ago. It was a very bad time for a long while, but you do get over it. We talk about him and what he achieved, in that way we both honour his memory and his life. It also helped us to come to terms with it
Blessings and i hope everything goes well for you