undecided

LegacyUser

Hey im goin unreg for this one even though this isint a big issue but i just want to know i am doing the right thing !

Im 23 & Ive beeen seeing as a girl for the last 6 months going really well we are both madly in love !!

Anyway i was at a mates bithday there the other nite we went to a nite club. the GF was at home with her mam who isint feel the best at the mo.

Anyway all the lads are on the dance floor having a laugh as you do. I started dancing with this girl just having fun swing her around having a laugh. She was pretty we ended up dancing really close together after a while, and went over to the corner of the dance floor and had my arm s around her, we were like this for a while and i knew she wanted to kiss me, and eventually she leaned in but as her lips just touched mine i pulled away and sed " look i know im leading u on but im kinda wit sum1 and dont want to cheat on her" she didnt look to happy at 1st but then we went bak to the dance floor and carried on having a laugh, i spent most of the nite with her having a laugh away from the lads. at the end we just kissed each other on the cheak goodnite and that was that. !!

All the lads thought i had scored but i explained i didnt.
Question shud i tell my GF.??

And was i out of line to get into a position where sumone was trying to kiss me?


I dont feel guilty of anything cos i dont think i did anything wrong !!

Metacortex

shandymintsd wrote:

Hey im goin unreg for this one even though this isint a big issue but i just want to know i am doing the right thing !

Im 23 & Ive beeen seeing as a girl for the last 6 months going really well we are both madly in love !!

Anyway i was at a mates bithday there the other nite we went to a nite club. the GF was at home with her mam who isint feel the best at the mo.

Anyway all the lads are on the dance floor having a laugh as you do. I started dancing with this girl just having fun swing her around having a laugh. She was pretty we ended up dancing really close together after a while, and went over to the corner of the dance floor and had my arm s around her, we were like this for a while and i knew she wanted to kiss me, and eventually she leaned in but as her lips just touched mine i pulled away and sed " look i know im leading u on but im kinda wit sum1 and dont want to cheat on her" she didnt look to happy at 1st but then we went bak to the dance floor and carried on having a laugh, i spent most of the nite with her having a laugh away from the lads. at the end we just kissed each other on the cheak goodnite and that was that. !!

All the lads thought i had scored but i explained i didnt.
Question shud i tell my GF.??

And was i out of line to get into a position where sumone was trying to kiss me?


I dont feel guilty of anything cos i dont think i did anything wrong !!

Really you don't think you did anything wrong? You were all over some girl on a night out while your gf was at home.
If you were my bf and you came home and told me that story, you wouldn't be my bf anymore. I wouldn't waste my time with someone who obviously has little to no respect for me.

*rant over*

If you want your gf to stay with you, keep your mouth shut about it.

Stepherunie

My ex used to dance with girls when i wasn't out with him - I never had a problem with it, this was mainly because I knew that nothing would ever happen between anyone he danced with and if they ever tried something he would tell them straight away he had a gf and not lead them on. He was also a talkative guy who would talk to anyone so this wasn't unusual really. He also knew that I danced with other guys but he knew that there wasy never any chance of anything every happening.

To me you let it go too far tbh, you let her lean into you and went off in a corner with her, it was wrong imo but that's me.

Only you can decide do you want to be honest and say you've over stepped the mark or do you want to keep it to yourself. If you had done that to me I've be very upset but I think i'd prefer to know.

Mrs_Doyle

My advice - don't tell your girlfriend unless you think she will hear it from someone else.
You didn't kiss the girl but you shouldn't have been all over her.
You gain nothing but earache if you tell your girlfriend what happened, and the only reason you maybe should tell her about it is if you think there is any chance that will hear about it from someone else.

I wouldn't want to know if my boyfriend carried on the way you did, it would plant a seed of doubt in my mind.

BoozyBabe

In my opinion you did do something wrong.
Dancing is one thing (although I wouldn't like to physically see my boyfriend dance with other girls, I don't mind him doing it.) I also dance with other guys when I'm out without my bf, but never holding hands or anything like that.

If you'd had left it at that, it would've been fine, but you went up into a corner with your arms around her for a long time, where it looked like to her, your mates, & everyone else in the place, that you were scoring her (or wanted to), then after that, you spent the whole night with her, away from your mates.

That's hardly doing nothing wrong.

& yes, if you really really want to be with your gf, then don't tell her, & know where the line is in future & don't cross it.
If you told me that, or I found out that, I couldn't stay with you, even though you didn't 'Actually' cheat.

Cianos

Sounds like you just wanted to see if you *could* score the randomer for an ego boost:D

A lot of lads would have let it go further but you didnt. You didnt do anything terrible, but it just wasnt very cool.

LegacyUser

Im definately dont want to tell her. but if she asks bout the nite ill obviously be not telling the truth !

Ive never lied to her before ! ya see i was kinda proud of myself for not cheating cos in all my previous relationships i have. which is out of order i know ! but ive never really loved sum1 before like i do her so the fact that i pulled away made me realise that im not a complete a**hole !!

I know i shudnt be proud but i was.

Ive done alot a stuff in the past during college that upset my close friends cheating on GF's ,drugs etc, i want to be a better person.
I feel i changed in the last year or two. i just wanna do the right thing !
But the right thing is to tell her but i know it might upset her and i dont want to do that either. ??

im just confused right now ??

Miss Fluff

Mrs_Doyle wrote:

I wouldn't want to know if my boyfriend carried on the way you did, it would plant a seed of doubt in my mind.

Ditto. You didn't cheat so don't bleat. LOLers:)

LegacyUser

Yeah i shudnt have done what i did .
maybe it was ego boost !

she was really pretty though, part of me wanted to kiss her but i didnt.

i know it wud upset my GF.

I want to be honest with my GF though cos in every other relationship ive lied and cheated. i really like this girl and i dont want to lie, i want to be an honest person.

im so confussed ?

Busterpuss

I definitly do not agree with what you did, but as the saying goes "what you dont know cant hurt you" and if my bf told me the very same story you have just posted, i would not be able to trust him therefore relationship over, i would always be wondering every time he went out if this was the night that he decided not to pull away.

so if you want to keep your gf, maybe u shouldnt say anything, but if you want to be honest with her take the chance that she might not be there tomo.

This is

fair play for not crossing the line, its hard enough wen not drinking.-
tell her u ended up dancin with her shes a good oul laugh but u had to put her in her place.

as for those girlfriends who would have a problem with that, get over it, the line wasnt crossed and if he told you he nearly crossed it it would mean he likes you even more than you think because he cant keep anything from you.

if i was in the dog house over that id realise my girlfriend needs a hobby to occupy herself.

Kell

Eh. I dont see what all the fuss is about.

You didnt cross the line. Happy days

Some women do it all the time and think nothing of it, so why should you?

K-

Miss Fluff

shandymintsd wrote:

I want to be honest with my GF though cos in every other relationship ive lied and cheated. i really like this girl and i dont want to lie, i want to be an honest person.

100% honesty is 100% overrated imo. You didn't do anything. By "admitting" what did happen who exactly is going to benefit from it? You'll feel better momentarily and selfishly ease your own guilt and your girlfriend will feel terrible about it. Nobody will come out a winner. Keep you mouth shut unless you think she's going to hear something back (which is highly unlikely considering nothing happened!!!):rolleyes:

spinandscribble

yes you were wrong and shouldnt have let it go as far as going off to a corner with her. dancing all night with one girl in a night club is cheating in a way. its one thing if your group are dancing with another group and you're having just a laugh but dancing and spending prolonged time with one girl shows a lack of willpower imo.

dont tell her unless theres a chance she'll hear bk. it'll make it seem a big deal if you do admit it and personally i'd prefer not to know unless its a sign you are untrustworthy, in which case shes better off without you. you say you love her but she shouldnt have to deal with this type of half cheating or whatever.

keep the dancing friendly but not too friendly if you catch my drift

LegacyUser

the only thing is dublin is a small place anyone cud have seen us in the corner holding hands !

What was i thinking ?? idiot !
there is a chance i cud get bk. if any1 saw , it looked so bad

!

Black Swan

I think you can answer your own questions? Would it be OK with you if your GF went out without you and:

(1) Danced with a guy who was real handsome and "ended up dancing really close together after a while?"

(2) "went over to the corner of the dance floor and had my arm s around (him)?"

(3) "we were like this for a while and i knew (he) wanted to kiss me?"

(4) "i spent most of the nite with (him) having a laugh away from the (lasses)?"

(5) "All the (lasses) thought i had scored?" (Their impression, which they will talk about, even if you honestly deny it)

(6) "Question shud i tell my (BF)??"

Can you answer "OK!" to all these questions on behalf of your GF without any doubts, feelings of jealousy, or distrust, and would in fact let her do the same thing as you did in the future without you? Once? Twice? More?

Ruu_Old

If its going to be bothering you so much then go ahead and tell her, be honest. I would tell her if I were in your shoe but thats just my opinion, everyone is different regarding the level of their honesty. Best of luck.

LegacyUser

Yeah i shuda mentioned this earlier but part of me wishes i had kissed this girl now !!!

I dont know why, dont understand, its really stupid. i also found her on bebo just being curious.

I know im f**ked !!! i think i have some sort of wanting more complexity or something !

Chinafoot

shandymintsd wrote:

Yeah i shuda mentioned this earlier but part of me wishes i had kissed this girl now !!!

I dont know why, dont understand, its really stupid. i also found her on bebo just being curious.

I know im f**ked !!! i think i have some sort of wanting more complexity or something !

Regretting not making a move and seeking her out on bebo..?!

That doesn't really fit in with your earlier claims of being "madly in love" with your girlfriend, now does it?

Do your girlfriend a favour and break up with her.

madhitchhiker

young though you are, you've already established a good disposition.. go and tell it to your girl!:)

Shaque attack

peachypants wrote:

Regretting not making a move and seeking her out on bebo..?!

That doesn't really fit in with your earlier claims of being "madly in love" with your girlfriend, now does it?

Do your girlfriend a favour and break up with her.

very true.

make you're mind up about what you want. you either love her or you dont. if you love her dont tell her, its the worst decision you could make. would be a very selfish move and would eventually end the relationship, you just need to get your own head in order.