Marathon Man a Problem!

LegacyUser

I'm seeing this guy a short while now and things are great
He's really sweet and I’ve had great fun with him so far! the only thing is when ever we're together in bed its taking him ages to 'arrive' and he has never done so with me through penetration, he usually (and after an hour or so) finishes himself off even after I give him oral
He’s only young (23) and fairly fit so he's got a lot of stamina, I’m guessing, the sensitivity lessens as one gets used to oneself 2 much during the teen years!
He wants to come just as much as I want to make him come but I feel unsuccessful if I need to stop and selfish also as I’ve usually come a few times
I don’t want tiredness to turn me off sex but I can’t be having anymore of these sessions as often as I need to have sex!
I’ve observed with himself and I could never go that fast with my mouth or hand and it doesn’t seem to do it for him when I do either
I’m getting frustrated with it too sometimes I get sore no matter how much I’ve come too, I’ve never had this problem I’ve tried every position yet to no avail can I make him come (also I’m a working woman and sometimes you just need a quickie when your up early, no such thing in his case)
I’ve asked him if there's anything else he wants me to do to make him come and he just says , just a little longer and it will happen or if I’m on top he’ll move my hips faster. I’ve switched condoms too a couple of times and no luck any advice to make this guy more sensitive a rare complaint but still!

haunted-room

Ask him to cut down on the DIY, or even better stop completly, for a while anyway. I gaurentee that if he dosnt do it for a week and then you have sex, he wont last very long at all.

LegacyUser

post69 wrote:

I'm seeing this guy a short while now and things are great
He's really sweet and I’ve had great fun with him so far! the only thing is when ever we're together in bed its taking him ages to 'arrive' and he has never done so with me through penetration, he usually (and after an hour or so) finishes himself off even after I give him oral
He’s only young (23) and fairly fit so he's got a lot of stamina, I’m guessing, the sensitivity lessens as one gets used to oneself 2 much during the teen years!
He wants to come just as much as I want to make him come but I feel unsuccessful if I need to stop and selfish also as I’ve usually come a few times
I don’t want tiredness to turn me off sex but I can’t be having anymore of these sessions as often as I need to have sex!
I’ve observed with himself and I could never go that fast with my mouth or hand and it doesn’t seem to do it for him when I do either
I’m getting frustrated with it too sometimes I get sore no matter how much I’ve come too, I’ve never had this problem I’ve tried every position yet to no avail can I make him come (also I’m a working woman and sometimes you just need a quickie when your up early, no such thing in his case)
I’ve asked him if there's anything else he wants me to do to make him come and he just says , just a little longer and it will happen or if I’m on top he’ll move my hips faster. I’ve switched condoms too a couple of times and no luck any advice to make this guy more sensitive a rare complaint but still!

Not as rare as you might think !! it can usually be down to relaxation. if he's more relaxed and there is less going on in his head this should help. also try durex featherlight

Miss Fluff

Try a lighter condom. Also indulge in lots of foreplay - only go ahead with penetration when he's getting EXTREMELY excited. The more aroused he is when entering you, the less time it will last.

Ruu_Old

Different condoms might work, also take control of things yourself perhaps and try out some different positions.

Dragan

At the risk of setting myself up for a fall i have the same issue....always have done....even the first time i had sex which seems to normally be a nightmare for most dudes ( kinda the opposite nightmare for me, all that time and i had no ****ing idea what i was up to, or supposed to be doing )

Anyway, all the above are good things, but just make sure he is confortable as well, for me, as much as i love sex, there is a large element of fear involved as well, and i eventually figured out that was stopping me from coming.

I realised i was afraid of the consequences of an "accident".

Zulu

Squeeze harder! naturally you need to be a little sensible - don't rip at it, but don't be afraid to give a good grip ...this also applies to when he's inside - squeeze, it's way better.

Get a grip! when he's taking care of himself, the thumb and indexfinger simulate the head, which is the most sensitive. When you grip, you tend to do so facing him, so the thumb and indexfinger simulate the shaft, which isn't great, and won't help being him there. Focus your efforts on the head.

Feeling is everything sex with condoms is like swimming with your socks on. Now naturally protection is most important, so you need to reach a happy medium. Really light condoms, or, preferably, if your are both clear and checked out, none at all! (this mightn't be an option though)

Relax if he knows this is an issue, he'll start thinking about it. He'll start to stress. And it'll compound the matter.

LegacyUser

howdy,

i had, and to a certain extent still have, the same problems as your fella. it really used to bug me that i couldn't come, and it frustrated my girlfriend at the time too i'm sure. but she was relaxed about it and in time i relaxed enough that i was able to come. first through oral, then by manual, and eventually through sex.

it took time though to figure out what worked and what didn't and to be relaxed enough about the whole thing.

i would try not to make a big deal out of it by putting too much emphasis on him coming. it puts pressure on him and that only exacerbates the problem tenfold. and if you just want a quickie in the morning why not masturbate together or something? not ideal i know but better than getting frustrated!

oh and don't expect miracles, it'll take time. i still can't come with a condom on! (god bless the pill )

Marksie

Several things:

Try not to focus on the ejaculation part, it may put him under pressure and exacerbate the situation somewhat.
He is giving you pleasure and vice versa, (you will know when a man is interested or not, it just wont happen.) So put thoughts of his ejaculation to one side and just you both relax, you may be transmitting your anxiety to him.

However to help you with some advice:

Some people put a little bit of lube in the condom to increase sensitivity, that may help, b careful it doesnt slip off though.

Increase senstitivity by having him outside your legs and your thighs tightly closed.

Increase the pressure using your PC muscle... its is strong enough if you can grip a finger inserted in you. Squeeze tightly and it will help.

Arouse all his other senses, bite nibble scratch, touch taste sound and smell can all be significantly enhanced if you mask the sense of sight: a blindfold good.

Ask him not to masturbate!!!

Alternatively let him masturbate then when he is approaching you take over. In whatever way you see fit

Use a bit of lube and massage his prostate .. you can also hit it from the outside between perineum and anus. he can ether be masturbating, or you can be riding and insert a finger.

Tightening the grip, use a little lubricant and with one hand pull the foreskin way back, do alternating left and right strokes like running your hand down a pole, keeping the foreskin tight back vary the pressure and speed.
Also twist the head by running your fingers around.

Let him masturbate and concentrate on his tip.

Butr perhaps teh best i can give you is for you both to relax, forget about ejaculation and stop and start and play with each other. Remember it is possible to seprate orgasm and ejaculation in a man...it is much more exdciting to watch him in a highly orgasmic state for hours rather than a come in seconds

I have been thinking about this some more and there is a way this can be done.
If you have ever heard of a book called the joy of sex, there is a technique called slow masturbation, this is a variant of that. In the book, you get him to a point then stop, since thats hard for you get him to do it .
you can masutrbate yurself while watching of use a toy to turn him on but basically you tell him to do everything you say. Ask him to bring himself close as fast as possible but then ask him to stop, after 30 seconds ask him to start agaiun, then when he is close, ask him to stop, keep doing this until his times between stopping and getting close is very short.. then put the condom on and see what happens.
(for those interested in the book the guy is immmobilised and the female starts and stops til the interval between starting and stopping is less than ten strokes, down to even three. Once you have him squirming then you dont stop... bring a towel though lol)

hullaballoo

Don't worry about whether he comes or not. Just make sure you do, and then if he doesn't, just leave it. Also get him to cut down on the self-maintainance.

Give it about a week, and you'll be back here complaining about your boyfriend's premature ejaculation problem.

LegacyUser

He should stop 'knockin one out' and let the cum build up.
That should make him as stiff as an iron bar !
Then, I would go ahead with Miss Fluff's advice.