Heartbroken

LegacyUser

Right story goes, i fell in love with someone last year, i dont seem to be able to get them out my head. He treats me quite badly, but i seem to put up with it everytime. We are not going out. I feel ive moved on, and then when he appears on the scene again i fall to mush again. I would do anything for him...

I need to move on, because i just cant handle getting my heart broken time after time, i also need to find someone else that will put the care into me that id put into them, but i just seem to be incapable of doing so... im at a loss

BoozyBabe

heartbroken11 wrote:

i fell in love with someone last year

He treats me quite badly

i seem to put up with it everytime.

We are not going out.

I would do anything for him

WHY?????

What could you honestly get out of this? & What could he possibly have done to make you fall in love with him?

Miss Fluff

heartbroken11 wrote:

i also need to find someone else that will put the care into me that id put into them, but i just seem to be incapable of doing so... im at a loss

You don't NEED to find anyone. Why not spend some time on your own and concentrate on building your own self-esteem before getting involved with someone else.

LegacyUser

You have to try your best to move on. I am almost 3 years down the line after having the same.

It does not get any better, it gets worse.

The hurt of seeing him walk away gets more intense each and every time.

I wish I had had the courage to forget him back at the start, could have saved myself from nothing because thats what it was at the end of the day.

No love, no affection, no consideration no support.

Its crazy we all deserve that.

My suggestion, forget him now, dont think about him, dont talk about him and if at all possible avoid him.

metrovelvet

Get off the merry go round. You know this isnt going to get any better? You know you probably dont love him and that there is something else going on?

John Mason

listen - if you find out how to do it let me know PLEASE - it just takes time - well so i keep telling myself but what i have learnt is that you need to do it on your own, having some else around is only crutch ..............

Elphaba

Hi there,
That sounds slightly familiar but the guy I was with didn't treat me badly. He just decided he wanted out and I had no idea he felt liek that and couldnt handle it. I was the same as u, in that I couldnt get him out of my head and I couldnt understand why I wasn't able to move on immediately. I kept telling myself it would just take time too and it did. My advice is go out, enjoy people's company but dont get into anything serious. For now anyway. I started seeing someone and in hindsight it was just to take the focus off the ex. It didnt work out and then I felt like I had to start getting over the ex all over again. It sucks and it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do but I'm so much stronger now because of it. i wouldnt wish it on anyone but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I promise!

Kell

Miss Fluff wrote:

You don't NEED to find anyone. Why not spend some time on your own and concentrate on building your own self-esteem before getting involved with someone else.

I chorus Miss Fluff. OP, stop identifying this person as the love of your life. Identify him for what he is- someone who treats you poorly. Then ask yourself the question- "Why do I want to be with him".

The answer should be pretty rapid.

K-

Marksie

Ok i will post this book title, it has helped a friend of mine to overcomse similar problems:

Women Who Love Too Much (Mass Market Paperback)
by Robin Norwood

You can read it but ultimately its inside you to change your situation

Ickle Magoo

OP,

You need to speak to a professional about breaking this cycle or read a self-help book such as marksuttonie suggests above.

It's not about the guys, it's about you not wanting more for yourself & you have to find out why that is. Best of luck.

fillmore jive

speaking to a professional may be a bit too much, but if you think it'll help go for it. you just have to look at your life and ask yourself: would it be better if this person was in your life?

you seem miserable now, but you seemed to be a lot worst when this person was in your life. and the sooner you realize this, the easier it'll be for you to move on.

LegacyUser

fillmore jive wrote:

speaking to a professional may be a bit too much, but if you think it'll help go for it. you just have to look at your life and ask yourself: would it be better if this person was in your life?

you seem miserable now, but you seemed to be a lot worst when this person was in your life. and the sooner you realize this, the easier it'll be for you to move on.

Problem is he is still kinda in my life, i still love him. we went are sepearte ways and i met other guys, but we keep end up getting in touch again and meeting up...

bug

heartbroken11 wrote:

Right story goes, i fell in love with someone last year, i dont seem to be able to get them out my head. He treats me quite badly, but i seem to put up with it everytime. We are not going out. I feel ive moved on, and then when he appears on the scene again i fall to mush again. I would do anything for him...

I need to move on, because i just cant handle getting my heart broken time after time, i also need to find someone else that will put the care into me that id put into them, but i just seem to be incapable of doing so... im at a loss

13 months ago you didnt love him.
13 months ago, this cancer wasnt in your life.
Imagine real hard that its before a year ago.

In all honesty I dont feel sorry for you. If you were my mate I'd give you a bit of a slap.

Cop yerself on woman!
You've admitted to yourself this person is by no means good for you.

You've either no sense of self-worth or love the drama of unrequited love.

Back in the ages people like you wrote real bad poetry.

"appears back onto the scene".. I mean... what does that even mean?!!!

Your obviously answering the phone or the front door eh? or even going to meet him?
Dont blame the shill for him being a shill.
He doesnt know what other way to behave.

Your the idiot allowing him to do this to you, and in all honesty, if he is such a twat, what was it exactly about him that made you "fall in love" with him in the first place?