The Official "rant/bitch/moan" Thread

Agent Smith

bill for using my phone in the czech rep : €139.87


****ing meteor and there €2.22 a min roaming

Pet

I think it's as a result fo working SQ.

As retailers go though, Superquinn are pretty respectable. It's better than working for Tesco..

Edwardius

yearr, at least they be proper paddy like, not like them black n' tans in tescos, steal in' our women and raping our livestock (switch where applicable, the one mentioned refers to those rotten communist south midlanders, whose little helicopter stunt doesn't scare me. Bastards. Signed myself out of care today to put a stop to their nonsense).

In the spirit of the thread and moving back to reality: ankle's bust, back is twisted and I gotta paint the house. Not all as bad as it could be though; I was out making mother nature cry by cuttin' up some trees with the chainsaw and managed to realise something was wrong with wearing sandals and rectified the situation before anything bad happened.

Agent Smith

Pet wrote:

As retailers go though, Superquinn are pretty respectable. It's better than working for Tesco..

is there anything that isnt better then workingin tesco?

Time Magazine

BOLLIX.

Was 90% through a great post about the Health Centre when I pressed the Close Tab button.

****it anyway.

gilroyb

agent smith wrote:

is there anything that isnt better then workingin tesco?

Syphilis.

Bartron Prime

Working as an "On-Street Fundraiser" for Amnesty International. Amnesty are absolutely fantastic people to work for, but the general public should die. They should die and go to hell.

Pet

Bartron Prime wrote:

Working as an "On-Street Fundraiser" for Amnesty International. Amnesty are absolutely fantastic people to work for, but the general public should die. They should die and go to hell.

Oh, you poor thing. In fairness, you knew what you were letting yourself in for, but still..I've heard some terrible stories from friends. Sympathies.

Bartron Prime

Thank you. It's in my past (I didn't stay very long in the job, a horrible public was not what I needed in the middle of a horrible week) so it's all good. You really should have heard what some people said. Apparently, it would have been a public service to take the wire from the Amnesty logo, wrap it around us and hang us from a lamp-post until we died.And that was a good day. There were fun games though. People will cross the street to avoid you. We decided to move towards the edge of the pavement to see if they'd play with the traffic... Still, I move on. My moan: Why won't anyone give me a job? Isn't 27 months in a department store sufficient retail experience?

Pet

Dead Ed wrote:

cuttin' up some trees with the chainsaw

I'd like a chainsaw, to dismember my nextdoor neighbour's dog. That stupid, useless, yappy piece of **** is going to meet its sorry end one of these days, and I'm going to enjoy every moment.

WHY WON'T IT SHUT THE **** UP!? IT'S 0350 ON A ****ING WEEKNIGHT.



OH GOD I'M GOING INSANE.




AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH.

Nietzschean

i'm not sure the dog know's its a weeknight, the bank holiday probally through him off, maybe if you went out and explained?

Edwardius

Ibid wrote:

BOLLIX.

Was 90% through a great post about the Health Centre when I pressed the Close Tab button.

****it anyway.

God bless firefox, even it doesn't like your little self important ramblings.

Bartron Prime wrote:

Working as an "On-Street Fundraiser" for Amnesty International. Amnesty are absolutely fantastic people to work for, but the general public should die. They should die and go to hell.

Ha, writing letters to save the world. Go amnesty, go away, that is. Got dragged into one of their meeting things by the ex and I have to say they're very odd people indeed and I don't like to have people indoctrinate me into their little organisation. If i wanna join I'll join of my own free will and not have some crusty git lecture me about social conscience when i clearly don't have one. Also I'm not too fond of the whole strategy of occupying the entire width of the pavement. That's probably there to prey on polite folk who have difficulty saying "no" and is another despicable act of cuntishness, embarassing people into giving cash.

Pet wrote:

I'd like a chainsaw, to dismember my nextdoor neighbour's dog. That stupid, useless, yappy piece of **** is going to meet its sorry end one of these days, and I'm going to enjoy every moment.

WHY WON'T IT SHUT THE **** UP!? IT'S 0350 ON A ****ING WEEKNIGHT.



OH GOD I'M GOING INSANE.




AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH.

Depends on how much you like your neighbours. Unless there's kids in the house or if it's an aul one/lad whose only companion is said dog, you can make it go away. If it's a pure bred, even better as they get nicked all over the shop. Just tie a stone around its neck and drop it in a deep spot in the nearest river and enjoy a good nights sleep. Or get a corkscrew to its vocal chords, You should murder it if it's a jack russel though. Hateful things.

shay_562

Apparently, it would have been a public service to take the wire from the Amnesty logo, wrap it around us and hang us from a lamp-post until we died.

Bartley, you know I like you, but charity chuggers are the scum of the earth, and if all that happened was a slow painful death by hanging, you should have considered yourself lucky.

You should murder it if it's a jack russel though. Hateful things.

Why does no one but me like jack russells? They're infinitely better than those little furry rat things.

Bartron Prime

But we were good chuggers! Seriously, Amnesty have incredibly strict rules on how to interact with the public (do not follow them, don't get them to talk by shaking their hand -it's dishonest-, don't accuse them of doing nothing to save the world, if they say 'no' thank them and wish them a good day, mention within the first 30 seconds that you're looking for a donation so you're not deceiving them etc..). Break one and you were let go. Still, at least no-one threatened to strangle me like they did in my last job (Look lady, it's not my fault the item you want was out of stock). Good times. :rolleyes:

shay_562 wrote:

Why does no one but me like jack russells? They're infinitely better than those little furry rat things.

Jack Russells are annoying little yappy things. And as for those furry rat things, you leave MSIS students alone.

Pet

i'm not sure the dog know's its a weeknight, the bank holiday probally through him off, maybe if you went out and explained?

Don't get me wrong, I like dogs (and most animals), but this doesn't deserve to be called a dog. It has a brain about the size of a pea, the only thing it's good for is yapping mindlessly for hours on end.

They're infinitely better than those little furry rat things.

It IS a furry little rat thing.

Observe:


This is what the little piece of **** looks like.

Edwardius

Know someone who has one of those, fantasised about cutting its hair off and choking it with it.

shay_562

Pet, see, that's the kind of dog I find gross and annoying. But that's not a Jack Russell - this is:



They're so cute! And in no way are Jack Russells furry. And, OK, small (which may lead to accusations of rat-like-ness), but less yappity. C'mon, someone else on the damn internet has to like these dogs.

Still, at least no-one threatened to strangle me like they did in my last job (Look lady, it's not my fault the item you want was out of stock).

Well, if you're going to advertise falsley..."complete department store" my ass! Plus, really, who hasn't threatened to kill you at some point or another?

Bartron Prime

shay_562 wrote:

Well, if you're going to advertise falsley..."complete department store" my ass! Plus, really, who hasn't threatened to kill you at some point or another?

Hey, it was out of stock when she rang. It happened to arrive from Vietnam the next day. We had been told it would be next week at the earliest (you can see why it was sold for €29 million) so it wasn't my fault. The only thing we were good at was customer service. As in, I was threatened with being fired for being too helpful! Even though people seemed to like me (one customer gave me the nicest compliment I have ever heard in my life). Still, the chain was sold and good riddance. The family deserves to die and burn in hell for all eternity. Still, the store piss-ups were almighty fun so it's all good.

As for the killing of me Shay, don't you think I can handle that pretty well myself? God knows I nearly had several haemorrhages this year. And now I have fourth year and a dissertation to do. If there's killing of me to be done, leave it to me. I know my weaknesses (Tea! Beer! Stress! Kryptonite!). I mean, why would you want to kill me? I'm a good guy. Apart from the horrific and unspeakable evil of course. :rolleyes:

arbeitsscheuer

shay_562 wrote:

Aw man that is the cutest little puppy ever!

I'm off to the petstore to get one ASAP!

...

That is, as soon as I'm no longer barred by my local petstore for "the incident"....

shay_562

Not big enough to post in the "woohoo!" thread, but thank you Seb! I'm not entirely insane! Yay!

Topic: RANT! Ronan Keating, that stupid washed-up son of a bitch, is releasing a cover of "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls, one of my favourite "cheesy goodness" songs. And it's ****. Like, not just a little bit ****, but so **** that my ears actually ruptured and started bleeding when I tried listening to it, and I now can't listen to their version without hearing his crappy, weedy, sub-boyband voice singing it. I swear, I'm going to make him pay for this if it's the last thing I ever do...

gilroyb

shay_562 wrote:

And it's ****. Like, not just a little bit ****, but so **** that my ears actually ruptured and started bleeding when I tried listening to it, and I now can't listen to their version without hearing his crappy, weedy, sub-boyband voice singing it. I swear, I'm going to make him pay for this if it's the last thing I ever do...

Glad to hear his singing is improving anyway.

Bartron Prime

Seriously, what is it with the rash of awful awful covers of classic songs? I mean, they did dance music versions of Alice Cooper's 'Poison' and Guns 'N' Roses 'Sweet Child Of Mine'. When will the horror end? The day they do a cover of Shakespeare's Sister's 'Stay' is the day the world finally implodes from the sheer awfulness of it all.

Pet

shay_562 wrote:

Not big enough to post in the "woohoo!" thread, but thank you Seb! I'm not entirely insane! Yay!

Topic: RANT! Ronan Keating, that stupid washed-up son of a bitch, is releasing a cover of "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls, one of my favourite "cheesy goodness" songs. And it's ****. Like, not just a little bit ****, but so **** that my ears actually ruptured and started bleeding when I tried listening to it, and I now can't listen to their version without hearing his crappy, weedy, sub-boyband voice singing it. I swear, I'm going to make him pay for this if it's the last thing I ever do...

I think you should lock him in a prison cell and pipe in Boyzone at full volume, 24/7. It's only fitting; payback for the torture he and his cronies inflicted on us all those years ago.

Edit: soooooooooooooooooooooo hungover. feel like zombie. need some kind of strong painkiller. sleep now.

Edwardius

Bartron Prime wrote:

Seriously, what is it with the rash of awful awful covers of classic songs? I mean, they did dance music versions of Alice Cooper's 'Poison'

Yeah, I had a letter bomb petition in the advanced stage of planning to put a stop to this sort of thing, but I got caught, ditched the explosives in someone's hand luggage and blamed the ar*bs. God loves a scapegoat, especially the sort that are usually to blame.

Bartron Prime wrote:

Guns 'N' Roses 'Sweet Child Of Mine'

.
That was a turd to begin with and axl rose is a cunt and a paedophile.

Bartron Prime wrote:

When will the horror end?

It won't, just shut yourself off from all new music 'cos it's all ****e. Especially alternative (read: mostly Shite pop music, if it was good it wouldn't need such a gay little genre.) ****e. Stay the mulleted side of 1988.

shay_562

That was a turd to begin with and axl rose is a **** and a paedophile.

I'll agree with the second half, but the first? That song is class, and I'm not even a huge Guns N Roses fan.

I think you should lock him in a prison cell and pipe in Boyzone at full volume, 24/7. It's only fitting; payback for the torture he and his cronies inflicted on us all those years ago.

Nah, that's far too easy. It's not real torture unless you draw blood. And also, I need to cut out his vocal cords, to prevent anything like this from even happening again.

I'm not automatically against covers, as long as they actually do something good with the song. But if you're going to keep the exact same music and sing it exactly the same, except with a ****tier voice, why even bother?

Awayindahils

shay_562 wrote:

Nah, that's far too easy. It's not real torture unless you draw blood. And also, I need to cut out his vocal cords, to prevent anything like this from even happening again.

No the aim of torture, especially during the Inquistions was to cause as much pain as possible without drawing blood. A torture session had to cease once the victim began to bleed, hence torture methods included streching which breaks bones but by the time skin is broken there has been one hell of alot of pain endured by the victim as opposed to just slicing someone up which would be painful but bloody.

Bartron Prime

This is true. One of the most ingenious methods devised has been Chinese water torture. Excruciatingly painful yet non-lethal. Torture is only a viable tool if there is an end goal, such as the obtaining of information. Thus, you need to inflict damage without either killing or causing irreparable psychological damage to the victim. The most effective torture methods (the word "effective" used lightly here, as it has never been the most efficient way of doing things) are the psychological. Methods involving deprivation of things such as sleep, sound, sight, company or other normal parts of day-to-day life are now the preferred ways of torturing someone (first high-profile usage in America was at Waco, Texas). Ostracisation or the symbolism of marking the victim out as "different" and "rejected" (such as the prohibition of people in the Gulag in the USSR referring to each other as 'comrade') is also highly effective. Not that I have ever read anything about torture mind you...

As for Keating, sight and sleep deprivation coupled with being forced to listen to the latest boyband (reminding him of what he cannot have...success) would be excellent. He would go insane. Then he could work in the prison's woodwork room and make things for The Late Late Toy Show. Toys for kids, and an end to Keating. I call that win win!

Pet

Especially alternative (read: mostly ****e pop music, if it was good it wouldn't need such a gay little genre.) ****e. Stay the mulleted side of 1988.

Philistine! Some of the best music of this century came out of the mid-1990s - Smashing Pumpkins, Radiohead, Jeff Buckley. Down with mullet music!

Edwardius

Pet wrote:

Philistine! Some of the best music of this century came out of the mid-1990s - Smashing Pumpkins

,
Hrmmm, not bad...

Pet wrote:

Radiohead

The Bends and Pablo Honey excepted, these deserve a firing squad for being the most pretentious little moany ****rags alive, I did listen to them plenty but it's always the same level of musical self harm. *spit*

Pet wrote:

Jeff Buckley.

Moany little self indulgent boring cuntbag deserved to die. Guess he listened to his own music by accident or something. In with a whimper, out with a whimper. At least he could have done us a favour and died in an exciting fashion as opposed to drowning. ponce.

Pet

The son of Tim Buckley, critically acclaimed (well, critics know **** all about music but whatever)..4 octave voice, amazing guitarist (see Sin É recordings for evidence) and songwriter..I wouldn't call that a whimper. And have you listened to Grace? 12 years old and it's still better and more original than anything around these days.

And I happen to LIKE angry/moany music (that's the emo showing through..). Happy music sucks. The Beatles vs RATM? Easy choice.